


A Voice in the dark

by Borealisblue



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Meeting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Jim, Complete, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Genius Jim, Jims being framed, M/M, Murder Mystery, Mutual Pining, Protective Spock (Star Trek), Rescue Missions, Sexy Times, Slow Burn, Soulmates, T'hy'la, Tarsus IV mentions, Vulcan Kisses, Vulcan Mind Melds, but it will be worth it, jims not a captain yet, my art, soulbond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:27:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 107,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23167744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Borealisblue/pseuds/Borealisblue
Summary: Is it possible to fall in love with someone when you’ve only heard their voice? Spock would have thought it highly improbable until his ship responds to a distress signal and discovers a mysterious device carrying the voice of one James T. Kirk.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 809
Kudos: 1809





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Spock’s screen flickered on and there he was. James T Kirk.
> 
> Spock felt an immediate pull. Pins and needles ran down his spine and the overwhelming feeling that he should know this man came to the forefront of his mind.
> 
> The man lay sleeping in an odd position on a makeshift bed composed of two chairs covered in what looked to be the remains of shredded bio suits.  
> One of his arms was tossed over his head, while the other gently rose and fell on his abdomen with his soft breathing.
> 
> Spock clenched his jaw. The man was captivating. He was beautiful.

“Ouch! Son of a-"

James T Kirk shook his hand out from the burning shock he just received to his fingers.

“Stupid thing.” He muttered, removing the last panel to the airlock system. Careful not to touch the wiring again he placed his device in the loading tube. “Alright, let’s see what happens.”

His ultimate demise would happen if this didn’t work. Trapped forever in a pocket of space where no one would find him. His escape pod would float on into eternity with his dusty corpse forever a passenger. He had always wanted to be the captain of his own ship, he just didn't think it would be an escape pod, and possibly his own casket. He was so close to gaining his own command, he had only 6 months left serving as a lieutenant before he was up for a promotion. How had everything gone south so quickly? 

He would never figure it out if he stayed stuck in this void. He needed to get a signal out and this was the only way he could do it.

He sat down to the main control panel and waited. 

And waited.

“Come on, come on.” He muttered. He could not screw this up. He only had one chance.

His eyes scanned the inky blackness of the void his escape pod had somehow ended up in. No stars. No planets. No ships. Nothing seemed to exist outside his own little reality. It was extremely disconcerting, and if he was honest with himself, kind of amazing. No matter the fear he was feeling, this is why Starfleet was out here. To explore. To discover. To be amazed. 

But he was trapped here. So the amazement would have to come later.

He felt a throb come from his skull and he wanted to reach up to touch the bump on his head but he refused to let the pain of his injury distract him from his one and only shot for help.

Suddenly a small flash of light appeared directly ahead and it looked like a large rip in the fabric of space was beginning to form. Stars sparkled from the other side of the void and he could see the destroyed remnants of the science vessel he had been serving on.

“Yes!” 

With lightning-fast reflexes, he hit the launch button and watched his device shoot off towards the opening. “Come on.” He silently begged as he watched the device begin to slow in speed. “You can make it.” His hands were balled into fists, knuckles white as he willed the device to make it through the hole.

The rip in space began to waver. It was closing again, growing smaller. The hole's previous appearances had been random as far as he could tell and he didn't have any more tools to make another device. This was a gamble.

Jim watched in terror as the lights from the stars he could see begin to dim.

_Please, please, please-_

His device slipped through just as the hole disappeared.

“Yes!” He cried, throwing his hands up in the air. He grabbed his communicator and flipped it open. “Okay faze one complete. Let’s see if you work.” He pressed the call button and the light on his device turned green. He smiled. There was hope.

He held the button down. "This is James T. Kirk, Lieutenant Commander of the USS Star Marker can anyone hear me? I am in need of rescue.”

——————————-

Spock leaned over his control panel, “No life signs captain.”

He turned, like the rest of the bridge crew, to look out the viewfinder where wreckage from the USS Star Marker drifted in space.

They had received a distress signal from the area, but it had been very weak and had stopped transmitting before they had even reached the area.

They had no clue they would be coming across a completely destroyed ship, especially the USS Star Marker, a science vessel that should have been in another sector altogether. 

The bridge crew was silent and Spock could tell they all felt a deep sense of loss for their fellow comrades. 

He glanced at the silver-haired man sitting in the Captain's chair. Christopher Pike was hunched forward, chin in his hands. After serving under him for almost 8 years, It was easy enough to read his body language, and it was clear that he was deeply upset with the discovery.

"This ship should have never been out here. It's just a small science vessel dedicated to mapping star systems. Why would they be out here? And alongside Klingon space no less?" He said to the room. "Lieutenant Uhura, can you find any of the final logs from the ship's computer?”

Uhura turned her sharp eyes to Pike, her long ponytail following her movements. “No sir looks like they were scrubbed clean," she said in disbelief, "Whoever did this, did so on purpose. The only information I can find from the ship's computer is that two escape pods were launched.”

“So there might be survivors?” Pike asked with some hope in his voice. "Start scanning for the pods immediately." He said to the helm.

Spock looked back at his panels screen where scans were coming in, reporting from the debris outside, “Captain, the ship shows evidence of Klingon fire. There may be a possibility that if this attack is indeed Klingon, they would have tracked down the remaining survivors and destroyed their escape pods as well. Klingons often do not permit survivors."

Pike turned to Spock and for the first time, he noticed that the captain's face was ashen. This gave Spock pause. Normally Captain Pike was well reserved in his responses to tragedy, it was one of the many things that Spock admired about him, and yet here he was openly displaying distress on his face. 

“Very true." He said swallowing. "Uhura, send a message to Starfleet. Tell them what we found, and tell them we’ll stay and recover what we can, along with any evidence of what might have happened to the ship and her crew.”

Uhura nodded.

“Spock, head down to engineering and start beaming debris aboard in cargo bay 1, and any deceased crew members that are found, have them placed in cargo bay 2 after they have been identified by our medical team. I’ll be down in a minute.”

Spock nodded and headed to the turbo lift. 

Pike's response to finding this particular ship had been... odd. The most logical conclusion he could draw was that Pike knew someone personally aboard the USS Star Marker. 

The turbo doors opened to the 47th level where the cargo bay and transporter rooms were. He assembled a heavy crew detail and handed out assignments, keeping track of everything on a PADD he had grabbed from the manifest on the wall. "Debris will be beamed directly into cargo bay 1 and deceased crew members will be beamed to the transporter room where they can be identified by medical staff, and then moved to cargo bay 2," Spock announced to the scrambling crew members. 

By the time he had handed out the last assignments, Captain Pike appeared from the turbo lift.

"Update Mr. Spock." 

"I have organized the following parties,” Spock said handing the PADD to Pike, “and the crew has just gotten underway. I was just about to head to Cargo Bay 1, where they have begun to beam pieces of the USS Star Marker aboard."

Pike nodded. "Let's go."

Together they made their way to the shuttle bay where crew members were busy running around and shouting to get the larger pieces of scrap metal organized. Their head engineer, Mr. Ramirez greeted them.

"Captain, Mr. Spock, I'm glad you are here, there's something I need you to see." He led them over to a table where a small device laid far from the other debris. It was odd-shaped and about the size of a tricorder. Red and blue wires twisted together unnaturally, and the metal frame looked like it was merged with another type of device.

"What is that thing?"

"Uncertain Captain, I can’t make heads or tails of it, but I’ll tell you this, according to our scans the metal and wires came from a USS Star Marker escape pod. It was found lodged in what looks to be some exterior plating from the remains of the ship." The Engineer scratched his head. "Almost mistook it for a ball of odds and ends that might have fused together when the ship was hit by enemy fire."

Spock leaned in to examine the device. "Its circuitry is crude, yet it does not seem random. Look at the blue wires that wrap around the back, they are connected to what looks to be disassembled pieces of a long-range beacon. The pattern is very much like one of our communicators but on a larger scale."

"So what your saying is that you think its construction was intentional?" Pike leaned in closer to the device, "If it looks like a long-range beacon of some type, then this might be the anonymous distress signal we received." 

"Affirmative. Based on the evidence before me, I would say we are looking at a self-crafted distress signal."

"It doesn't seem to be active at all." The Engineer said picking it up and placing it in the captain's hands. “If it was transmitting a distress signal, it’s not anymore. It might have been damaged when it collided with the plating.”

"Well then, it seems like it was just pure luck we came across it at all," Pike said turning it over in his hands.

"Perhaps one of the engineers survived." Suggested Ramirez. "I can't imagine a regular crew member assembling something so complex. Even if the vessel did carry a bunch of scientists."

"Do you think you can reactivate it?"

The engineer clicked his tongue. "I don’t know sir, just looking at that thing is giving me a headache. But I could try and take it apart, perhaps learn something more about the device itself."

Spock verbally stepped in, "I would advise against that, if you take it apart, you might be destroying any evidence as to what has happened to the ship and her crew."

Ramirez nodded. "I suppose your right. Besides, I might not have the time right now unless you make it a priority Captain. We will be organizing these parts for a few days." He said, looking out over his fellow engineers. There was suddenly a loud crash and the clang of metal reverberated across the room. "Tommy! I told you, use the stacks!" Cried, Ramirez.

"Sorry boss!" Came the reply and Ramirez quickly made his way across the room to survey the damage.

Captain Pike's eyes followed the engineer as he walked away. "Hm. Perhaps you can take a look at it, Commander. I’ve heard you know your way around compartmentalized mechanics. Didn't you teach a class at the academy or something?”

"I assisted in a compartmentalized mechanics class, but I did not teach one," Spock stated. 

Captain Pike unceremoniously tossed the device in Spock's hands. "Right now it looks like your my best option. See if you can turn it on and put those extra engineering courses to work."

Spock nodded and Pike gave a heavy sigh. "It looks like things are all being taken care of in here. Now let's go see if the medical team in the transporter room has identified any of the Star Markers crew members."

Spock watched Pike go ashen again as he said this and could not help but confirm his suspicions. Pike definitely had known someone on the USS Star Marker and was not looking forward to having that person's death confirmed. He followed Pike down the corridor and noticed that the captain's footsteps were slower than normal. Whoever this person was it was obviously someone he was very close to. A family member perhaps.

As they approached the transporter room, Spock was slightly surprised to see such little activity happening outside in the corridor and even lifted a brow when they entered the room to find crew members milling about.

"Mr. Lucas, report, why is everyone standing around?" Pike asked, confused.

Mr. Lucas, a tall, thin man, who often stuttered when he was nervous, turned to Pike. "Captain, uh, yes, well you see, we are uncertain what to do. Well, what I m-mean t-t-to say is, um, well, we are almost done."

"Done? What are you talking about? The USS Star Marker had a compliment crew of at least 190."

"We, um, could only find one body. He was identified as Captain Evan Macintosh in the database and was taken to the reserved cargo bay."

"Captain Mac?" Pike asked incredulously. "And you've scanned the entire area? No signs of any other bodies?" 

"Yes, sir."

Pike leaned over the panel and pressed the calculation screen. It recalibrated but showed no evidence of organic matter in the scanned radius. He tripled the search band, but again, the computer indicated nothing.

He looked up to Spock for an explanation.

"There are three possible conclusions to draw here," Spock said stepping up to the scanner, "One, our scans are faulty," he pulled up a deep-rooted menu in the programming system, "which seems unlikely since nothing is out of order." He said examining the program quickly and then closing the screen. He stepped back. "The second conclusion is that the crew detail on the ship could have been very small for whatever mission they were currently on. Instead of the full 190, their team could consist of a skeleton crew. The crew members could have all escaped in the two pods, Except the captain which would explain his body, or the third option, which could be that there was no crew, to begin with."

“No crew?” Pike repeated incredulously. 

“It is possible,” Spock stated.

“But highly unlikely. What reason would a science vessel captain have to take his ship out alone? That’s extremely risky.”

Spock inclined his head a fraction. “Which is why I believe my second conclusion is the most likely.”

“The escape pods to that particular science vessel can hold up to five people, that could mean that there are possibly ten lost people out there. We will have to wait for a response from Starfleet to find out, I’ve requested a full report of their mission and who was assigned to that posting. Uhura should receive a response within the hour.” Pike turned back to ensign Lucas. “I already have the bridge crew scanning for the missing pods, but there’s no harm in having you guys do the same. Keep looking and com me if you find anything. As for us Spock, I think we need to go visit our good doctor about the dead Captain in our shuttle bay and find out what exactly killed him.”

Spock nodded, as he followed Pike out the door. This predicament was an intriguing mystery, one Spock was Interested in solving. A destroyed vessel by Klingon fire where it shouldn’t have been, a missing crew of at least 190 or less, a dead Captain and this... Spock looked down at the device. It was possibly the one thing that had alerted them to this entire situation. A puzzle within itself. It did not bare a Starfleet signal, yet it was crudely constructed by parts identified from an escape pod. 

Spock pulled his attention back to the task at hand. There would be plenty of time for him to unravel the device’s mysteries later. Until then it was important that he and Pike discover what killed Captain Macintosh.

They walked through the cargo bay doors together and they were greeted by a room that was prepped with countless medical staff and empty stretchers with body pods. 

"Captain Pike.” Greeted a blond-haired nurse. ”If you're looking for Doctor Mites he’s over in that corner with the recovered body.”

“Thank you nurse Chapel.” She smiled and nodded and then looked to Spock, the color on her cheeks deepening. She shyly nodded to him too before scurrying away.

Spock followed the Captain to talk with the doctor. He was of the Caitian species, and in Spock’s professional opinion, he should have retired years ago. With a long gray mane resembling an earth species of an African lion and drooping yellow eyes matched his rough sagging whiskers, his appearance always lacked luster. He hardly ever wore his official Starfleet medical officers uniform, claiming that he preferred the open robes of his people. His advanced age made him ornery and hard to deal with. Spock believed he was one of the most argumentative officers he had ever had to deal with. Spock often thought that he would be pleased when a new CMO finally took his place. Anyone would be a better fit for the Enterprise than he was.

Captain Pike cleared his throat. “Dr. Mites.” 

“Hmm? Yes? What? What is it?” Came a grumpy reply.

“I’m here about the body.” 

The Caitian hefted a long sigh. “It’s right there.” He said irritated, pointing with his claw.

Spock and Pike glanced at each other.

“Yes well, I’m gonna need a bit more information than that, Doc.”

“I’ve already submitted my autopsy to the Starfleet database. Read the report.”

“Actually I would like you to give me a verbal one right now if you don’t mind,” Pike said in a tone that bordered on a command.

The Caitian narrowed his withered eyes and flicked an ear. “Ah,” he huffed. “Well, this is Evan Macintosh, Captain of the USS Star Marker. He was killed by a blow to the head.” 

The Caitian paused and turned towards a replicator along the wall and ordered himself a cup of coffee, yawning as if the very conversation he was holding was not worth his time.

Spock’s jaw tightened. He would officially be putting in a complaint to Starfleet headquarters. It was definitely time to find a new CMO.

“The man was in an altercation just before he died.” The doctor continued. “But based on the scans of his body he was attacked twice, by two separate parties. The last attack was the one where he had the final blow to the head. The shape in his skull along with particle residue indicates that the weapon was a conduit pipe. This was no accident.”

“He was murdered?” Pike said, surprised. “But you said he was attacked twice?”

"Yes. I found some skin under his fingernails, presumably from his first altercation. It’s human. I’m running a DNA sequence to find a match in the database, but it’s taking a bit longer than normal. The computer keeps running into what looks like firewalls of some kind. Never seen anything like it before.” 

Spock’s eyebrow raised intrigued. Firewalls? He looked towards Pike for possible answers and he found that Pike's face had gone from ashen to almost white. Whatever the cause for the firewalls, Pike obviously knew something he was not sharing.

“I couldn’t find any DNA for the second attack, but I can tell by the defensive wounds that they happened about an hour after the first altercation.” The doctor said as he looked at the chronometer and then flicked his withered tail.

“Doctor, when those results come in, tell no one and come find me immediately. This is a direct command. Understand?”

Unimpressed by Pike's tone of seriousness the caitian gave another yawn, unhinging his jowl, and barring a row of dull yellowing teeth. “Yes, sir.”

Pike turned to Spock.

“Captain-“

“Spock, listen to me,” Pike said in a hushed tone, pulling him a few feet away. Spock tensed at his touch. Even though he had known Pike for years he was still not fond of the human compulsion for touch. He could tell by the brief emotional transference they shared that Pike was extremely stressed. 

Pike leaned in close and whispered. “I don’t know what’s going on but I have a bad feeling about this. I may know the party responsible for the first attack, and trust me, they would never have done so unless something terrible was happening.” He glanced at the body encased in the bio pod. “I’m gonna need you to trust me, Spock. Your number one task as of right now is to get that device working. I’m relieving you of all other duties because if my hunch is right, the person responsible for the first attack is not only the one who built that thing, but he will have all the answers we are looking for.”


	2. Chapter 2

Jim munched on a protein bar as he made a list of his supplies. 

The thing didn’t taste half bad. Kind of like a gritty brownie bar. 

He hadn’t had protein rations since he was a kid. Back then they had been oatmeal flavored, brown sugar if he wasn’t mistaken. Those little bars had seemed like ambrosia when he had been given them on a medical freighter ship back to earth. Months of starvation could do that to a young boy of 13.

Jim shook his head. Now was not the time to be thinking of the past. He needed to get back to work.

Now because he was in an escape pod and not a shuttle, he wasn’t privy to a lot of things. Like space. The main control console took up most of the room with a viewport in the front, surrounded by four other seats along the sides, and a small toilet in the back. Jim could make three full-length strides before he crossed the pod entirely.

Good thing he wasn’t claustrophobic.

Small Escape pods like this were designed to fly into the upper atmosphere of the nearest habitable planet and wait to be picked up by a starship, but since he was in a void of some kind that wasn’t going to happen. He had tried to maneuver the craft towards the hole in space when it had reappeared the first few times but the craft wasn’t strong enough to go on thrusters alone, and thrusters were all the pod had. He would need to be beamed out of here by a larger ship. And who knows how long that could take.

It couldn’t be more than a month though, because by then he will have exhausted all of his resources. Food, water, sanity. 

And he would definitely get restless. 

The escape pod had held a small built-in replicator integrated on the back wall of the pod, but he had made the dangerous decision to dismantle it. It was the only device on board that had the proper parts and wiring to make his rudimentary distress signal, and so he risked everything and placed all his faith in a plan that may not work. His odds were extremely grim, but with his track record, he had come out on top in worse situations. 

He had, of course, replicated as many protein bars he could before doing so. He had also created a make-shift water tank from a wall closet that had held bio suits for survival and sealed it off. 

It had taken some time, but with an air hose from one of the suits, he filled the entire wall compartment with water from the replicator and then sealed it off with a small phaser he had found in a tool kit. He would use the hose as straw and simply sip from the wall if he got thirsty. 

When he was done the pod sorta slanted sideways with the weight of the new water tank, but it couldn’t be helped. This would be his only source of water for the next month and unfortunately, it wouldn’t be for bathing. He wasn’t gonna lie to himself. It was gonna get rough in here, especially since his uniform wasn’t fresh, to begin with. It was torn and stained in sweat, with a little bit of his blood, but at least it was the science officers blue which brought out his eyes. He would die fabulous.

No. NO. He would not die. He scolded himself.

In the Academy, he had performed at the top of his class in each and every survival simulation he had taken. He had set new records and achieved the highest scores on more than one test. All of his instructors loved it. And he had to admit the praise was pretty fun. But here and now, he had not been taken prisoner, he was not being tortured for information, and he was not stranded on the planet with other accessible resources. He was trapped in an escape pod.

The last thing he did was take two of the bio suits and ripped them apart for their insulation. He laid the fabric down on two of the empty seats and created a makeshift bed.

“There,” he said, stepping back, placing his hands on his hips, “just like a resort.”

The computer beeped indicating another hour has gone by. He had put an alarm on so that he could remember to call out through his distress signal every hour, on the hour. He pulled his communicator from his pocket and pressed the button down. 

“Hello? This is James T. Kirk, Lieutenant Commander of the USS Star Marker can anyone hear me? Press once for yes and twice for no." He counted to a hundred and then repeated the process, by calling out and waiting again. Nothing. He closed his communicator.

"Computer, how long have you been active?”

**“46 hours.”**

Jim looked out into the empty void and tried to remind himself that even if time moved differently in the void, he himself had been in the escape pod for 46 hours. 

“Yeah Kirk,” he said mumbling to himself. “don’t think about the fact that time could be moving differently and maybe thousands of years have passed outside the void and no one ever found your distress signal and your gonna die eating protein bars.”

He had been keeping his mind busy with prepping his pod for survival but now that he was done, his brain was free to explore all the ways he would die. He ground his teeth. He had been in worse situations than this, and death was never an option. 

Plus, he planned on dying as a Captain one day, not a lieutenant commander for a stupid science vessel. Sure he loved science and whatnot, but he had only taken the job to gain more experience credits. Something to pad his resumé before he put in his request for a promotion to captain. 

It would just have to be a waiting game until he was rescued.

“Computer, got any music?”

**“Negative.”**

Ugh.

“Got any books?”

**“Negative.”**

“Holovids?”

**“Negative.”**

Jim sighed. He knew it was a long shot but he had to ask anyway. The reason escape pods never had anything in their computer banks was because if an escape pod ended up on a primitive planet, Its very existence could change the natural evolution of the culture. 

He plopped down on his makeshift bed. “Computer, can I record an encrypted log?”

**“Encrypted logs will be deleted if accessed by a non-Starfleet code to protect the prime directive.”**

Jim snorted. “So is that a yes?”

**“Affirmative.”**

“Great, at least it will give me something to do. Computer, begin recording an encrypted log for James T. Kirk.”

**“Recording.”**

“Stardate...uh well I guess there’s no need for Stardates in this void. How about I log in hours? That’s the only thing I know for certain. So hour 46 of my time in the void. Well let’s see, if you’re listening to this, that means you’ve found my pod, hopefully with me still alive in it. Anyway, if that’s not the case, I will record exactly how I ended up here. But first, have a message for Doctor Leonard McCoy, and it’s imperative that he receives it. Bones if you’re listening, I’m sorry to tell you this, but I was the one who dropped and cracked the screen on your med PADD, there was no ghost. Also, I ate the rest of your Andorian chocolates hidden in the back of your closet-"

—————————————-

Spock had spent the last 3.3 hours in his cabin meticulously documenting the schematics of the device he had been given. Normally he would not work on something in his room, but with the crew running about trying to sort through the USS Star Markers parts he found that he could not concentrate efficiently. While he was normally adept at blocking out noise and commotion, crew members kept coming up to him asking basic questions they could have solved themselves, effectively forcing him to retreat to his cabin. 

Using tools he had borrowed from engineering, he sat alone trying to come up with a solution to turn the device on. It had been slightly damaged when it had been hit by debris from the science vessel but that was easily fixed with a few replacement wires of his own.

He had to admit, that although it was crude, misshapen and lacked organization with the wiring, the maker was certainly brilliant. Somehow they had taken a homing beacon from their escape pod and had combined it with a standard issued communicator device, using what looked to be the tubing and power converter from a low-grade food replicator. This made the device not only capable of sending out a distress signal, but it also could receive data as well. He just needed to turn it on.

Taking some portable battery packs, he attached the wires to the most familiar energy converter he could find, which was the communicator part of the device and turned them on. 

The device itself remained dead and Spock frowned slightly.

The device should have turned on, or at least given an indication that it was hooked up to a power source, but it simply sat there on his desk keeping its secrets.

He waited a few minutes before unhooking the battery packs. They clearly didn’t have enough energy as a power source. 

He folded his arms in thought. Perhaps if he connected the device to his main computer console that was connected to his desk it would have enough energy to turn the device on.

Taking the panel from the back of his monitor, Spock took some tools and clipped the wires from the motherboard and reconnected them to the wires belonging to the device.

He heard a soft buzz come from the object, and a little light that was hidden under some plastic turned on, going from red to orange.

Pleased that this had accomplished something, Spock picked up a tricorder and began to take some scans.

There was a feedback loop of some kind along with the original distress signal they had picked up. Spock could now confirm it with a hundred percent certainty this device was the distress signals origin. 

It was intriguing. The device was made from Starfleet parts and yet the signal bore no evidence of one. At least that's what it appeared to be at first. It was soon revealed after a few more invasive scans that there was indeed a Starfleet signal, but it was somehow masked with a hand made encryption code. Spock was once again impressed by whoever made the device, and Spock was hardly ever impressed. The signal was obviously supposed to be for rescue, but why encrypt it? If a Starfleet member was in trouble, why risk a random passing ship to pick up the signal rather than sending the signal directly to another Starfleet vessel?

Spock blinked slowly as he could feel his concentration waver from the task at hand. As a Vulcan he had great endurance, however, even Vulcans needed breaks and his last break had been over 12 hours ago. The device looked like it was still powering up so he set it down carefully and went to go make himself some tea.

Letting his thoughts wander back to the mystery maker of the device, he could not help but wonder if it was another Vulcan. True he was one of very few Vulcans who worked with Starfleet, but to craft such a device under duress it took someone with a keen and clear kind. Someone like a Vulcan.

He turned the possibility over in his mind as he made his tea. It would be...interesting if the maker was indeed a Vulcan. He tried to recall if he had heard of any Vulcan members assigned to that post. T’Lau came to mind. She was a Vulcan that he had met briefly at a federation conference. Their conversation had been lacking, but he did recall her intentions to serve on that particular ship. Could she have been the one to send out the device?

The likelihood was slim. Captain Pike, after all, believed he knew the maker of the device and even insinuated that the maker had been involved attacking his own Captain.

Spock took a sip of his tea and the heat on his lips made him a little more alert. He had not realized his mental facilities were waning. Perhaps he should meditate as well while he waited for the device to charge. It would clear his mind and may even-

A soft but strange noise clicked on.

His powerful Vulcan hearing separated the unique sound from the regular lull of the engines and he turned around quickly.

There was a blip, and then a pop, before white noise filled his room.

Spock put down his tea and walked over to his desk where he found the strange device humming like it had been fully turned on. He grabbed his scanner and began taking readings.

_"Hello?”_

Startled, Spock looked at the device intensely. A voice?

_“Is anyone out there? This is James T. Kirk, Lieutenant Commander of the USS Star Marker can anyone hear me? Press once for yes, twice for no."_

Spock quickly hit his side tables control panel, “Captain Pike, this is Commander Spock.”

A groggy voice answered, “Go ahead Mr.Spock.” Pike sounded exhausted, obviously in need of sleep.

“Captain, I request your presence in my cabin immediately. The device I have been working on is producing the voice of a Starfleet member.”

Suddenly Pike's voice became more alert “Acknowledged.”

Spock waited for another message to come through but the device just continued to produce soft white noise. 

What did the man mean? Press once for yes, twice for no?

He picked up the device and flipped it over, carefully examining it once again, looking for any buttons or holes he might have missed in his initial examination. He did not think it was possible, he had meticulously documented each wire and port but he had not seen any buttons. He could only surmise that if there had been buttons they had broken off when the device was damaged.

_“Is anyone out there?”_ The voice came again, _“This is James T. Kirk, Lieutenant Commander of the USS Star Marker can anyone hear me? Press once for yes, twice for no."_

Spock looked around quickly, could possibly use the buttons from his own control console to respond? After all, the device was already hooked up. Before he could make an attempt to do so, Spock actually heard the man sigh, before the soft white noise stopped and the device powered down with a click, taking the humming noise with it.

The little lights that glowed orange under the plastic indicated that the device was still receiving power, but it had somehow shut off. 

It was then that Spock understood.

The device wasn’t dead. The man on the other end could control when it switched on and off. An extremely smart move if he wanted to conserve the energy powering the device. It would last longer that way, increasing the chances that someone might pick up the signal when they passed by this region of space.

His door beeps indicating that Captain Pike had arrived.

"Come in," he said, keeping the sound of disappointment from his voice.

Pike came in followed by Lieutenant Uhura and he waited until Spock's doors fully slid closed before he turned on Spock. “The voice you heard, what did it say?"

Spock looked to Uhura in a questioning manner and then continued his report. Pike was obviously comfortable with the lieutenant hearing everything he was about to say even though he had been wary around other crewmembers earlier. 

"It was a man identifying himself as James T. Kirk, Lieutenant Commander of the USS Star Marker."

Pike’s eyes widened. "James Kirk, are you certain?" 

"Affirmative Captain, but just before you arrived the device shut itself off. I believe he is controlling it somehow from his end.”

"Did he say where he was? Or anything else about the destroyed ship?"

"He indicated he was in need of rescue, and the way he spoke makes me believe he is uncertain that his call for help is being received by anyone. He mentioned a way to respond to him by pushing some buttons that are no longer on the device due to damage."

"So we can't communicate back?"

"I was thinking of trying to connect the device directly to my control panel on my desk. I have already rewired the power to come from my station through the back of the monitor."

The captain's silver hair was in disarray and his face took on a weary expression. “Oh Kirk, what have you gotten yourself into,” he said looking down at the device on the desk.

“So you are acquainted,” Spock said Confirming his suspicions.

Pike gave a long sigh. "Yes. He’s George Kirk’s son. He’s a brilliant kid. His testing scores were off the charts.” He looked at Uhura “I Believe he graduated with your class from the Academy right?”

Uhura actually rolled her eyes. “Yes. He graduated in three years rather than four. It was all he ever bragged about.”

"Captain, if I may, I was under the impression that you wanted to keep this situation quiet, why have you brought Lieutenant Uhura to my cabin?”

Pike looked at Uhura. “She comm'd me just after you did with some new information. Tell him.”

Uhura folded her arms and leaned back slightly. "Which part?"

“All of it.”

Uhura turned her sharp intelligent eyes towards Spock. "In the last few hours, we have discovered some very interesting facts about the USS Star Marker and her crew. That is to say, that her crew wasn't even on board when the ship was destroyed. That's why we couldn't find any other bodies besides the captains. All of the crew was all left on a planet two systems from here, claiming that Captain Macintosh ordered everyone to abandon ship without reason and just took off. Everyone one has been accounted for except for Lieutenant Commander Kirk."

"Who you've apparently found," Pike said nodding at the device on his desk. "It looks like you were right about the no crew Spock. Captain Mac and Lieutenant Kirk were the only ones on board when they were attacked by Klingon fire. But we still don't know what they were doing all the way out here when their ship was destroyed."

Uhura nodded. "Starfleet is not very happy about this entire situation. Apparently, the USS Star Marker was a brand new prototype of sorts. They want a report from you as soon as possible Captain." She said turning back to Pike.

Pike ran a hand through his barley combed hair. "Yes, yes, I'll get right on it. Spock, If you claim Kirk is trying to communicate through that device then he will most definitely reach out again. In the meantime try and repair as much of the device as you can, so that next time he calls we can answer.”

Spock nodded. "Captain, I must express my confusion. There are a few things I do not understand. If Kirk and Captain Macintosh were the only two members aboard the USS Star Marker, then that means the DNA under the Captain fingernails must be that of Kirk. Why would the Lieutenant attack his captain? Is this man prone to violence?”

Pike pressed his lips together and then opened his mouth to respond but Uhura spoke up first. "Actually when Pike first found him, it was in a bar fight. I should know because I was there. He can definitely be violent."

Pike frowned. "That's not a fair statement. As I recall he got into the fight because some of your friends were trying to play hero for you, a damsel in distress.” He said pointedly looking at her. “While Kirk is an excellent fighter, he has matured over the years since joining Starfleet-“

Uhura slightly shook her head, exasperated at the word ‘matured.’

“And I know he would never attack his Captain without reason. There must be another explanation.”

Spock watched their exchange, "Then why do his DNA records have firewalls? That is why Dr. Mites is experiencing difficulties finding his DNA on file, correct? Normally Starfleet members with firewalls have hidden records, sometimes with criminal histories. How much do you trust this James T. Kirk?" 

Pike hefted a heavy sigh and looked earnestly into Spock’s eyes, "Kirk has had many things happen in his past, his record isn't the cleanest, and most of it he couldn’t control. There are some things I'm not at liberty to talk about, but rest assured I would trust Kirk with my life, just as much as I trust you."

Spock nodded. “Then I will do my best to make contact.” 

If Pike said the man was trustworthy then Spock would believe him. 

For now.


	3. Chapter 3

Spock had begun noticing that Lieutenant Commander Kirk was reaching out every hour, and so when he finally had figured out how to reconfigure the device’s code through his computer system, he was ready. 

He had contacted Pike and asked him to come to his cabin straight away, they had 10 minutes before the device would turn itself on again and they could attempt to make contact with the man. Once they made contact he hoped the man would be able to simply give them his coordinates and they could easily pick him up, wherever he could be.

Spock heard his door beep.

“Enter.” He called out bringing an extra chair to his desk for Pike to sit at.

“Hello, Mr. Spock.” Came a soft, feminine voice.

Spock turned around. “Nurse Chapel. How may I assist you?”

The blonde woman was shyly holding a food tray and stepped further into his room. “With all of the insanity happening around here, I’ve noticed some of the crew members haven’t been eating properly. You, Mr. Spock, are on that list.”

Spock slightly frowned. “Nurse Chapel-“

“Christine.” She said smiling as she brought the tray over to his desk.

Spock paused, why would she want him to call her by her first name?

“I will address you by your proper title, to retain a professional work environment.” He stood up, straightening his spine further and placed his hands behind his back.

“Oh Mr.Spock, you could never be anything other than professional. Now come and eat.”

Spock glanced at the tray but did not move. “While I understand your concern for my well being, I do not require sustenance at this time.”

The nurse fluttered her hands in a nervous manner. “Well, then I will leave the tray and come back for it later.” She said softening her voice and smiling warmly at him. She stepped closer to his person. “Would that be all right with you?”

Before Spock could answer his door beeped again. The noise seemed to startle the nurse and she quickly stepped back.

“Enter,” Spock said, turning towards the door.

Pike entered his room and glanced between the two of them. “Hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“Oh of course not Captain,” the blonde woman said, pitching her voice a bit higher. Indicating more of her nervousness. “Just making sure our commander is fed, that’s all. If you’d like, I can go and replicate something for you too.”

“No thank you, Nurse Chapel. But Spock and I do have some Business to attend to.” He gestured towards the door.

The nurse took the hint and nodded. Giving Spock one last glance, she left, leaving the tray behind.

Pike turned towards Spock. “She likes you.”

He blinked in surprise, and Pike gave a small chuckle.

He quickly schooled his face into a perfect mask and composed himself back in his usual posture of professionalism. “We have less than 3.2 minutes before Lieutenant Commander Kirk reaches out again.” He motioned his hand to the extra chair he had brought out for Pike.

Pike sat down at the desk. “So no rebuttal on the nurse?” He teased.

“Nurse Chapel brought me food because she noticed that I, like many others have not had my daily sustenance,” Spock said coolly as he sat down in front of the monitor. “She has in no way approached me with a declaration of wanting a relationship beyond professional.”

“But that’s the thing about humans, especially women. They leave hints, they flirt, they give signals in hopes that the one they are sweet on will respond.”

“Captain if you would refocus your attention back to the matter at hand. In 30 seconds Lieutenant Commander Kirk will try and contact us and I have converted my computer panel so that we can respond to him.”

Pike studied the side of his face, looking like he wanted to say something more but instead he scooted his chair closer and sobered up from his teasing.

On cue, the device clicked on and soft white noise filled the room.

There was a shuffling noise and a slight echo before the lost man’s voice came through. _“Is anyone out there? This is James T. Kirk, Lieutenant Commander of the USS Star Marker can anyone hear me? Press once for yes, twice for no."_

Spock pressed a key on his panel.

There was suddenly a scratchy, scrambling noise and the man’s voice got louder as if he was holding the receiver closer to his mouth in excitement. _“Yes! Hello?! Hello?! Could you press the button again so I know it wasn’t just a fluke?!”_

Spock pressed the key again. 

_“YES! Okay, whoever this is, I need you to take this device and contact Starfleet. I need you to get this to a man named Christopher Pike, do not let anyone else have this. Can you do this for me?”_

Spock glanced at Pike briefly.

“How can we let him know that I’m right here if all we can do is answer yes or no questions?” Pike asked worriedly.

“Lieutenant Uhura once informed me that humans used morse code in the past for telegraphs and long-distance communication. I have briefed myself on the code and am willing to try such a method to make contact with Kirk.”

“That’s an extremely outdated method. I’m not sure Kirk will understand.”

“There is only one way to find out.”

 _“Are you still there?”_ Kirk asked, sounding unsure.

**Yes.**

_“Yes! Okay, can you get this device to Starfleet?”_

**Yes.**

_“Alright! The man you are looking for, he’s a starship captain. Christopher Pike, got it? He is currently serving on the USS Enterprise. Find him and give him this device.”_

Spock looked to Pike before he began pressing the button several times in a pattern.

**Pike is here.**

There was a long pause and Spock could hear some type of movement coming from the man’s side of the connection.

_“Are you...are you trying to use Morse Code?” He asked shocked._

**Yes.**

Another pause.

_“Could you repeat your previous message?”_

**Pike is here.**

_“Okay, uh, give me a second I haven’t done morse code in years.”_

A few moments went by where the man could be heard mumbling to himself, obviously trying to decipher the pattern. It took him a few minutes before finally, he said. _“Pike is here? Christopher Pike? Are you saying he’s there? Is this Chris?”_

“Tell him it’s me.” Pike nodded.

**Yes.**

 _“I see.”_ The man now suddenly sounded extremely hesitant. _“Forgive me but that sounds like complete and utter bull-“_ the man stopped himself and took a deep breath. _“Look, I hope you can understand why I don’t believe that. It would be extremely unlikely if this was indeed Christopher Pike. Would you mind a test of sorts? Just so you can prove who you say you are?”_

“A test? Come on Kirk.” Pike sighed and scrubbed his face. 

“Kirk’s Wariness is logical. It would be extremely improbable that the person he was trying to contact would indeed be the first person he contacted.” Spock said.

The man on the device cleared his throat. _“Are you ready? On the night that I met Chris, he dared me to do something. What was it?”_

Spock turned to Pike expectantly and discovered that his Captain was smiling, and shaking his head in a fond manner. “ Okay Spock, tell him this.”

**Do better.**

It took less time for the man to decipher the code, and he laughed in delight. _“Well I’ll damned Pike, it really is you.”_

“Ask him where he is.”

**Where are you?**

More Mumbling came from Kirk as he pieced together the message. _“Where… are You? Well, that’s the problem. I don't know. I seem to be in a void of some kind. I don’t see anything outside my pod’s window. Just blackness. It’s like I’ve somehow fallen into a pocket of space. BUT every once and a while, without warning, something like a hole will appear, almost like a portal, and I can see space and stars on the other side. Last time it happened, I saw the debris of the USS Star Marker. I’ve tried countless times to get my escape pod to go through it but the thrusters aren’t enough, I’m stuck.”_

**What happened?**

_“I don’t know. One minute I was reconfiguring Star charts, the next, Captain Macintosh went insane! He began ordering everyone to abandon ship on the nearest M class planet for no reason at all. He allowed everyone to leave, except me. He began acting erratically…he tried to….uh well … It doesn’t really matter what he tried to do, but he suddenly attacked me, nailing me over the head with a pipe. When I woke up, I was in an escape pod, with a massive headache. That’s all I know.”_

“Well, his story seems to align with what we’ve discovered so far. Although he didn't say anything about the Klingon fire.” Pike seemed to utter to himself. He looked to Spock. “What do you think? Kirk’s a good kid, I don’t think he’d lie.”

Spock studied his captain before answering. “ I am beginning to see that you have some sort of attachment to this Lieutenant, so your opinion may be biased,” he said without accusation. “ I will concede however that Kirk's story does indeed lineup somewhat with what we’ve learned. Keep in mind though that the doctor determined that Captain Macintosh was attacked twice, the first altercation being with Kirk. Logically that means some else was aboard their ship, and since everyone has been accounted for, it is an unknown assailant.” 

“You don’t think it could have been a Klingon, do you? Their ship was destroyed by Klingon fire, and we are right next to Klingon space.”

“It certainly is probable. But then how do you explain the escape pods? Two where detonated. One with Kirk and-“

“One possibly with the assailant.” Pike finished nodding with understanding.

“If it was a Klingon responsible, they would have no reason to use a pod to escape. They would just transport back to their ship.”

Pike blew out a breath. “But if Kirk was knocked unconscious by his Captain, then who put him in the escape pod? Why save him?”

“I do not know,” Spock said. 

They suddenly heard a noise from Kirk’s end that sounded like a wrapper of some kind. _“You still there?”_ He asked, sounding anxious, his mouth now seeming full of food. _“ I know it’s a lot to take in, but if you could just get me out of here, I swear I'll tell you everything I know to the best of my ability.”_

Spock tilted his head to the side at the noise of the wrapper and consequential food in Kirk's mouth, then he looked to Pike. “Captain, you should be aware that Kirk’s device is composed of the homing beacon from his escape pod and a power converter from a low-grade food replicator. He will not be able to replicate any food or water for himself.”

“What?! Those are the two most crucial parts of an escape pod! How the hell are we gonna find him in some void, before he starves to death when his homing beacon and replicator parts are right here?!”

The sound of chewing could still be heard from Kirk’s side as he waited for a response.

“He may have replicated the supplies before dismantling parts of his pod. He certainly sounds like he is eating something.”

“Ask him about the device.”

**Device?**

Kirk cleared his throat and it sounded like he began shifting about. _“The device? Do you mean my Distress signal? Yeah, it’s not my best work, but when I discovered I was stuck in the void I didn’t know if anyone would be able to detect the escape pods homing beacon from in here. Who knows what kind of place this is. Anyway, I'm sure by now that you’ve figured out that the beacon is composed of parts from my pod. I had to dismantle my replicator for its wiring to combine, the pod’s locator and parts of a communicator to get my distress signal out. When that hole I told you about reappeared I launched it from my pod and it passed to the other side.”_

**Enough food?** Spock asked instead of waiting for Pike’s reply.

 _“Yeah, I replicated what I could before dismantling it.”_ Kirk’s connection began to get hazy and his voice was beginning to sound far away. _“But I only have enough food for a month if I’m really careful about it.”_ The white noise was getting worse.

“What’s happening Spock?”

“Unknown,” Spock said checking the wiring.

There was a clicking sound and the white noise cut out. The device powered off.

“Is he gone? Did we lose the connection?” Pike asked wide-eyed with concern.

Spock nodded. “It appears to have cut out from his end.” He began to formulate reasons for this occurrence. “It is possible that his signal could weaken when an extremely high influx of particle radiation occurs in space. Lieutenant Commander Kirk mentioned a “hole” appearing and disappearing. That could very well be the cause.”

There was the boatswain whistle on Spock's panel. “Uhura to Captain Pike.”

Pike reached over and pressed the panel to answer, “Yes lieutenant Uhura?”

“Starfleet has responded to your report sir and Admiral Richardson is waiting to talk to you and Doctor Mites in Conference Room B.”

Pike’s lips thinned into a grim line. “Thank you, Lieutenant, I will be there shortly.” He turned back to Spock, “I will have the bridge crew begin scanning for any evidence of high particle radiation or anything out of the ordinary. That might give us a clue to where Kirk’s disappeared too. In the meantime, stay here with the device just in case he reaches out again.”

Spock watched Pike get up and leave and then returned his attention back to the device sitting on his desk. The odds of finding Kirk and rescuing him from this void he claimed to be in were less than 20%. 

Due to the fact that the man’s escape pod did not have its homing beacon he was doubtful of the enterprise ascertaining his location.

Spock leaned back in his chair and thought of something else. What if this man was lying? Pike seemed to trust him, but his Captain had been murdered. 

A void is space was highly suspect. He had never heard of such a phenomenon.

The evidence they had uncovered pointed to a third person being on the ship before it had been destroyed, but that did not mean that Kirk and the mysterious assailant had not been working together. And what of the firewalls on Kirk’s file? He obviously had a record of some kind, Uhura had said he had gotten into a bar fight when Pike had first made his acquaintance.

And the Klingon fire? How did that fit into all of this?

He was not placing the blame entirely on Kirk just yet, merely making observations. He would reserve judgment until further knowledge was obtained.

Spock looked at the tray of food still sitting on his desk but he turned away from it. He had more pressing matters to attend too, starting with looking up Kirk’s file in the Starfleet database. There may have been a firewall on his medical files, but there would at least be a Preliminary file in the data banks somewhere. 

“Computer, pull up everything you have on James T. Kirk.”

The computer did as it was asked and pulled up a very basic file for the man. Spock instantly noticed that large chunks were missing, especially for his history and background information between the ages of 12 and 18.

Raising a brow he leaned in to read the basic information. 

**STARFLEET HISTORICAL FILE: Kirk, James T.**  
**Mid-level Biography Brief Mode**  
**Final Rank: Lieutenant Commander**  
**Full Name: James Tiberius Kirk**  
**Date of birth: March 22, 2233**  
**Age: 25**  
**Place of birth: Riverside, Iowa, Earth**  
**Education: Starfleet Academy, 2250-2253**  
**Marital status: Single**  
**Children: n/a**  
**Serial number: SC937-0176 CEC**  
**Quarters: USS Star Maker, 1708-S, Deck 2/Room 0195**  
**Allergies: Retinax V, Melvaran mud flea virus vaccine, Dermatophagoides farinae,Tartrazine**

He had quite a few allergies but nothing out of the ordinary. Spock looked over his Academy record, and found nothing but exemplary marks, not surprising after having studied his self made device sitting on the desk in front of him. He scanned through the information quickly before he realized he did not even know what this man looked like.

Pulling up his photo on file Spock froze.

Something inside him flickered, and he was not exactly certain what it was. The closest thing he could compare it to was...recognition? No that was not quite right.

He did not know this man. He had never seen him before and yet...Spock felt like he should know him.

He suddenly felt a sharp, intense shiver go through him. 

Humans typically did not leave any type of impression on him, so he was shocked to have felt any type of physical response at all.

Ever the scientist, he looked over the photo again and tried to replicate the reaction. 

Nothing happened.

He studied the photo. 

He supposed the human was quite attractive. His features were symmetrical, with his dark blonde hair pushed back. His teeth were straight and white and his skin held a healthy golden glow, but these attributes were nothing he had not seen in other humans before. They were nothing special.

He then looked into the man’s eyes.

Electric blue pierced his Katra and Spock could feel his breath catch. His mind was suddenly seared with light, the impression of sun and suddenly the image of the man began to read differently, almost like The image itself transformed before him.

Dark blonde hair pushed back? No, tossed back with fingers, like he had seen other humans do when they laughed. 

Straight and white teeth? No, a beaming smile wide that was open and friendly to all. 

Healthy golden skin? No, something soft and supple that lured people to touch. 

Something that he wanted to touch.

His heartbeat picked up speed in somewhat of a panic.

No. That was completely illogical. Spock had no idea why he was thinking this way. He had never wanted to touch another before. Touch was not a Vulcan commodity.

Clenching his jaw he once again looked into the man's twinkling eyes. They seemed to look directly back at him, into him, into his very bones and all throughout his atoms. The sudden pounding of Spock's heart redoubled itself until his abdomen felt tight with pressure.

Fearful uncertainty washed over him and he closed the file immediately, picture and all, his hands slightly shaking. 

He stared at the blank screen.

Just who was this, James T. Kirk?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the comments, each one is like precious gold to me. I worked really hard on this fic, and I'm touched that people are responding positively to it!

Jim had panicked when Pike had stopped responding, but then noticed that the mysterious hole in space had reappeared. Quickly putting two and two together he surmised that whatever was happening out there, must have been affecting his signal to the other side.

He could not believe his luck. What were the odds that pike would be the first one that he contacted through his device? 

A real miracle.

He had been extremely hesitant at first because of those odds. But Pike had answered his question without hesitation and he had never told anybody, not even Bones, that he had joined Starfleet on a dare to do better than his father.

He just hoped that once the hole closed he would be able to make contact again in an hour.

Closing his com device he paced the small length of his pod. He could do some push-ups while he waited… or maybe try to take a nap?

He laid down on his makeshift bed and looked at his food pile. It was hard not to reach out for another protein ration. He wasn’t hungry, just bored, and he had a bad habit of eating out of boredom. A dangerous thing if you only have a limited supply of food.

He rolled over and looked at the ceiling of the pod and huffed.

He wished he had a good book to read. 

How many times had he complained to Bones that he never had the time to read anymore. Now all he had was time on his hands until he was rescued.

He thought of his list of books downloaded and waiting to be read on his data bank at home. He had really been looking forward to reading The Microbial pursuit, a trashy romance novel between a hardened woman scientist and a male Orion who could teach her about her own body.

Yes, he loved reading trash and Bones often commented that he had a problem. 

He quietly laughed to himself. 

He did enjoy other books as well, mostly classic literature belonging to Shakespeare, Arthur Rimbaud, and Jane Austen, but he was also subscribed to many scientific journals that released research papers biweekly.

His favorite paper recently had been by a Vulcan who theorized that zeta stars give off Mletin Particles and were the results of massive binary stars losing substantial amounts of its hydrogen and helium just before going supernova. The paper had been utterly fascinating to him because Mletin Particles were still newly discovered. Nobody knew much about them, other than they just appeared out of nowhere seemingly random. But the paper had a strong theory that could explain their origin.

He had wanted to write the author of the paper hoping to discuss more about the Mletin particles but he quickly discovered a few days later that the paper had been recalled by the Vulcan high council. He had tried to figure out why and all he could find was that the Vulcan scientists currently researching the phenomenon said it was impossible.

That was stupid in Jim’s opinion.

The theory was plausible, they just weren’t looking hard enough for the evidence to support it. Otherwise, why would a binary star lose substantial amounts of hydrogen and helium? Those things had to go somewhere. Perhaps fed to another star close by causing the resulting star to give off Mletin. He had only read the paper twice but he sadly never got the author’s name before the paper had been pulled, something he deeply regretted. He had even asked T’Lau the Vulcan who served with him on board the USS Star Marker if she might have known who the author was, but she hadn’t seen the publication before it was pulled.

He remembered that particular conversation with her and it had annoyed the hell out of him. 

She had told him that if the Vulcan high council pulled the paper, then there was no need to search for the author any further because the Vulcan high council did not make mistakes.

Again stupid. Everyone made mistakes. Even Vulcans. Just because a bunch of people thought something was impossible didn’t make that belief true.

For example, just look at him. Everyone had said he would end up a washed-up drunk, a waste of talent, but here he was, in line to be the Captain of a starship someday. Eat your heart out Frank, wherever that monster was.

But he didn’t want to focus on his stepfather right now.

Jim looked at the computer clock, to see how much time had passed.

10 minutes.

Jim groaned as he raised his hands to scrub his eyes.

He would give anything to be reading that trashy romance novel right now. How was he ever going to find out if that hardened scientist was also a sensual woman in need of love? Or if the slutty Orion could commit to one woman who made his blood burn?

He, of course, knew the answer. Almost all romance books were the same and he purposely never read books that had tragic endings. Two opposing people, would fall in love, overcome a trial of some kind, and then end up together in bed, with possible multi-species children as the result.

A happy ending.

Quick, sexy, done with. The perfect read that did not require too much thinking.

Although he personally was never too thrilled about how Orion’s were depicted in literature. It wasn’t their fault that they lured almost all types of species in with their pheromones. 

But Because of that one trait, they were forever the favorite for the butt end of a joke and most used species in the romance genre. But Orion’s were more than just their pheromones. They were smart. They showed Extreme compassion towards others and could be extremely loyal when that loyalty was earned. He had even dated a few back at the academy, but those relationships had never lasted long. 

It was mostly his fault. 

He wanted captaincy more than anything and that sometimes got in the way when it came to his partners. Extra studies, extra classes, extra credits. Eventually, he could not give his personal relationships the attention they needed and they would soon fizzle out.

Jim wouldn’t mind reading about an Orion who bought themselves out of the slave trade and then went on adventures throughout the galaxy. 

Nothing romantic, nothing sexy. Just adventurous to show the species in a new light. Something he knew from first-hand experience that Orions had the ability to be great.

Jim sat up. He could write it.

After all, he had nothing to do and it would keep his mind busy while he waited for rescue.

It would be a book just for himself. It didn’t have to be published.

“Computer, open a separate file and begin recording, The Adventures of uhh… let’s call her Mina. Mina and the theory of the Mletin particle.”

————————————————  
It was four hours before Kirk’s device connected again and Spock had been waiting to make contact with the lost man.

He could not logically explain his physical reaction to seeing the photo of Kirk and it was… frustrating. He wondered if hearing the man’s voice would have any effect on him now that he knew what he looked like.

The device switched on.

_“Hello? Hello? Pike? Can anyone hear me?”_

Something warm curled in Spock's stomach at the sound of Kirk’s voice and the hair on his arms raised in response. He fought the urge to shutter.

The man’s voice had not changed from the last time they had connected and yet… Kirk’s voice now pulled him in. Once again the feeling of familiarity crept into his mind, but Spock knew for certain that they had never met before. 

But something was ignited. Something deep within him.

Intrigued at his body’s response he pressed the button on his control panel indicating that he did indeed hear him.

_“Yes! Pike, I'm so glad to hear from you! When we lost connection I freaked out! But then I noticed that hole in space I was telling you about had opened up nearby and figured that must’ve been the reason the signal dropped.”_

Spock hesitated. He should not allow Kirk to believe that he is Pike when Captain Pike himself was not in the room. 

Quickly coming to a decision he messaged back. Not Pike

 _“Ah, more code stuff. Um okay, Not...Pike.”_ Kirk said slowly as if spelling it out. _“What do you mean not Pike? You’re not Chris?”_

**No.**

_“If you’re not Pike then who are you? Some crewmember or something?”_

**Yes**

_“Is Pike busy?”_ Kirk asked but his tone indicated he already knew the answer. Spock pressed the button for yes anyway.

Kirk sighed. _“Alright, I get it, he’s a Captain, after all, he’s probably running around trying to solve everyone’s problems. I bet the Brass is demanding his full attention over this whole incident.”_

There was a pause.

_“I guess that means you guys can’t find me… or at least not yet anyway.”_

**No.**

Kirk blew out a breath. _“So you got stuck with babysitting huh? Well, it’s nice to meet you whoever you are, I’m Jim.”_

Spock was uncertain how to respond to his observation, but before he could think of anything, Kirk spoke up again. _“I know we just met and you’re probably just doing your job, but I’m going a little stir crazy here. I’ve recorded some logs, but I've got nothing else to do!”_ he laughed, _“ So I started writing a book.”_

Spock raised a brow.

_“I know, I know, it sounds insane. I’m in mortal peril and I decide to write a book? But honestly, it’s keeping me busy and giving me something to do. Would you mind sitting here and listening to me talk about it? Maybe you could give me some input.”_

Once again Spock was not certain how to respond. Kirk’s photograph had made the man seem open and friendly, but not this friendly, most humans were never this friendly with him.

It was then Spock remembered Kirk did not realize he was talking to a Vulcan. Normally humans were polite but very brief in their interactions with his species, and he understood why. Humans and Vulcans barely tolerated each other. 

_“I don’t hear you answering no, so I’m gonna take that as a yes._ He said cheerfully. _"Okay, so my story is called Mina and the Mletin Particle.”_

Spock sat up a little straighter. The Mletin Particle?

_“My main character is an Orion, but get this, she’s not gonna have any love interests. She’s gonna be an adventurous scientist. Now don’t get me wrong, I love a dirty romance book with Orions but I’ve never seen one written about a non-sexualized Orion. Which is a shame really, because Orions have so much to offer.”_

Spock had never considered this. He hardly ever read for a leisure activity, mostly science journals and theorem articles. But he would admit that when he did read for the calming of his mind he preferred the teachings of Surak.

 _“Are you a science officer by chance?”_ Kirk suddenly asked.

**Yes.**

_“Perfect! So you can follow my thought process. So there’s this theory out there called ZQ-cp and it poses that the Mletin particle comes from stars right before going supernova, have you heard of it?”_

Spock was surprised because hardly anyone knew about that theory, especially since it was his very own. His paper written on the subject had been pulled from publication before it had even been in circulation for a week.

He pressed the button for yes.

 _“And do you think the theory is worth exploring?”_ Kirk asked cautiously.

Spock could understand the man’s hesitation in asking that question. It was a claim that many brushed off as impossible or highly inaccurate. But he himself still very much believed that his theory was possible. 

**Yes.**

Kirk laughed in delight. _“You know you’re the first person who’s agreed with me? And here’s the best thing, I’m like a thousand percent sure I can actually prove the theory possible.”_

Spock felt both his brows raise at the boast. 

Firstly you can not give a 1000% since that is presumably 1000% of the maximum, which is greater than the maximum and therefore a contradiction. Second even he himself had not thought of a way to prove his theory, because that is all it was. A theory.

Unaware of Spock musings Kirk continued on. _“Anyway, my main character, Mina, is going to go up against a bunch of snotty-nosed Vulcan scientists to prove them all wrong with my theory. I may not be much of a writer, but I do know science. How hilarious would it be if I proved the ZQ-cp theory in a book before any of the actual scientists working on the project solved it? Do you know the Vulcan high council doesn’t believe it’s possible? For a race of people who believe knowledge is a virtue, they sure are closed-minded about a lot of things.”_

Spock dipped his head down, humored by Kirk's statement. He should be affronted on behalf of his species but the blatant honesty was refreshing in a certain way. It was true. His people righteously proclaimed their pursuit of knowledge to the rest of the universe, but they only did so when it fit their narrative.

They did this with a lot of things, his birth was an example. Vulcans were proud that the combination of a Vulcan and a human had been achieved, but when his human traits and flaws began to surface, he was no longer the pinnacle of achievement. Just another failure in advancement and constantly called into question at everything he did, as if his human half somehow tainted his work. 

That had been why his paper had been pulled from publication. He could not prove it but he was almost certain that the Vulcan scientists did not want to be shown up by a half-human.

If Kirk somehow did prove his theory correct, then the Vulcan high council would be humiliated for pulling his paper, Spock would no doubt feel some pleasure at that fact. 

If the corners of his mouth slightly tilted upward. No one would know. He was in the privacy of his own room after all.

_“So the theory states that zeta stars give off Mletin Particles and they are the results of massive binary stars losing substantial amounts of hydrogen and helium just before going supernova. I’m going to have Mina invert the scale we normally record particles on and inflex the curves in the middle of the scale about 58% to compensate for the loss of matter. Now I really wish I had a starship’s computer to run these Simulations on, but I’m Almost positive that’s how to prove the theory.”_

Spock blinked. That certainly was...a unique idea. Certainly, one that most would never consider trying due to how simple it was. A sliver of doubt entered Spock's mind. It was too simple, surely the multitude of scientists working on the project would have tried this already. Would inverting the particle scale actually work? 

Spock pulled up a separate screen and began typing in Kirk’s theory. The computer immediately began to object about inverting the scale, but with a few tweaks, it began to run the simulation.

Spock watched the screen with rapt attention. A map began to form and data began to build. It was working.

As Kirk continued to prattle on about his story plot, he seemed flippant about the fact that he might have just proven how to identify where Mletin particles came from. Amazed, Spock looked back at the device where Kirk’s voice came pouring from. The man had no idea what he had just accomplished.

_“---- I kind of want to give her a sidekick kick partner, maybe Roylan? I hear they can make great assistants. OR I could give her a reluctant Vulcan assistant, that could be a fun idea. I just want a species that won’t be affected by her hormones. I don’t think Vulcans are affected by Orion Hormones, but then again I don’t think anything really affects Vulcans. What do you think? Do you think a Vulcan would make a good assistant?”_

**Yes.**

Spock thought a Vulcan would make a good assistant, however, he was uncertain how to tell Kirk that male Vulcans could be susceptible to Orion hormones when they went into their mating cycle. Female Vulcans would remain unaffected. 

This was a very odd conversation, and one Spock could not picture himself participating in if the circumstances had been different. But the man seemed to be occupying himself and he supposed if this was what distracted him from his unfortunate situation then he would not judge.

_“Okay, a Vulcan it is. He needs a name though, Ummm, how about Xon? I don’t know much about Vulcan names but I do know that one. It’s from a legend I think.”_

Spock leaned back in his seat. Xon? That name was very old and he knew exactly what legend Kirk referred to, it had one of his favorites as a child. Not many knew of that legend. It was obscure even on Vulcan, how had this human heard of it?

Kirk continued to speak but his voice began to break up and stutter. Their connection was beginning to fail again. Spock sat up straighter and began pressing the button multiple times to try and alert Kirk to what was happening.

 _“What are you doing? Is something wrong? Is it the connect-“_ The device switched off.

Spock’s brows dipped slightly as he stared at the device. 

He had...enjoyed listening to the man. Even if he could not have answered back. He was clearly a genius in his own right, and his thought process was utterly fascinating. 

It was then Spock noticed a sort of absence. He looked around the room but nothing had changed. The only absence was the absence of Kirk's voice. It was as if… a little bit of life had been stolen from his room.

Spock shook his head. That was illogical. The absence of a voice did not take anything from the room. A room was a room.

He looked at the chronometer on his screen. They had remained connected for an hour.

Spock quickly pulled up a timesheet on his computer. Recording their connection times would be helpful in determining a possible pattern to the hole in space that might be causing the Interference.

Pike had said he would have the bridge crew lookout for possible an extremely high influx of particle radiation occurring in space. 

Spock pressed his control panel, “Spock to the bridge.”

“Uhura here.”

"Lieutenant Uhura, has there just been a high influx of particle radiation?"

“Actually yes, our computers detected it about two minutes ago.”

“Can you pinpoint the location?”

“No. The radiation is coming from everywhere and the computers can’t determine an origin point. It’s quickly dissipating though.”

Spock nodded to himself. So he was correct. The radiation was affecting Kirk’s signal.

“Please document your findings and then send me all of your computer readings from here on out until further notice. Thank you, lieutenant.”

“Alright I will send the data to your PADD as soon as possible. I've actually been thinking I might have another idea that could help us trace the signal if I could just get your permission to pursue it, Sir."

"Granted," Spock answered. "Just include it in your report to my PADD."

"Thank you, Sir. Oh, and Spock before you go, Captain Pike wanted me to tell you that Starfleet is sending out the engineer that built the USS Star Marker. His name is Montgomery Scott. They think that he could help us locate the missing escape pods. He’ll arrive in about 12 hours. Once he gets here we’ll send him straight to your cabin to look at that device.”

“Acknowledged.”

Spock got up and soundlessly moved back to his sleeping alcove, knowing he required meditation. Last time it took Kirk four hours to reconnect so he suspected that the signal would follow the same pattern. He would meditate while he waited. He had much to reflect on.

The emotional and physical responses he had experienced to Kirk had greatly surprised him. The man could possibly have murdered his captain and yet after one conversation, he wasn’t so sure anymore. Nothing had changed. The evidence was still strongly against him, and yet…

Spock pulled his meditation robes on and dimmed the lights in his cabin. He sat on his mat and took a deep breath centering himself.

He tried to clear his mind, but all he could hear was the echo of Kirk’s voice. The man’s face was foremost in his mind. He again saw the human's bright blue eyes from the photograph and felt a warmth envelop his body.

He could only meditate on one question, just who are you, James T. Kirk?


	5. Chapter 5

“No!” Jim cried as he jerked awake. 

He panted grabbing at his chest calming down a bit. 

“Computer, how long was I asleep?” 

**“You have been asleep for three and a half hours.”**

He scrubbed his face with sweat-stained palms and sighed, the remains of his nightmare quickly slipping from his mind. What had he been dreaming about?

His breath calmed and he sat staring out the black window for a bit. He thought of nothing and that was somehow better for his mental state. 

He stared until the sound of his stomach startled him. Laughing as his own foolishness he got up and stretched grabbing a protein Ration. He really needed to go easy on these.

Jim moved restlessly around his pod and did a few stretches. He had tried his device but had revived no answer. He didn’t see the hole outside his pod like he had last time, but that didn’t mean that the effects of the space displacement didn’t leave a lingering effect on his signal.

For what felt like the millionth time Jim looked around his pod. It wasn’t as if anything had changed in the last three and a half hours while he slept. Pile of rations, ripped emergency suits, a wall full of water.

He looked down at his feet and saw the long end of a pipe sticking out from under the seat. He had almost forgotten about it. It was the one that had been used to knock him unconscious. Captain Mac must have thrown it in the pod before he had launched it. An act he did not quite understand.

He hadn’t experienced any problems with Captain Mac in the beginning. He had been a distant Captain, cold but not cruel. He was brief in his interactions with Jim and dismissed him after his duties were completed, never wanting any lingering conversations that weren’t work-related between them.

Then that had all changed about two months ago. 

His gaze began to linger, making Jim feel uncomfortable. He began to ask him to stay and talk with him after his shifts were over as if they were suddenly friends. Then came the brief touching, the smiles, the compliments. Jim shook his head unnerved. It was like his whole personality had changed. Like he was a different person.

He didn’t even want to think about the man, especially after he had attacked Jim with a pipe.

He kicked the metal pipe back under the seat.

He had no clue what had happened to the USS Star Maker or its crazed captain. All he knew for sure was that the ship had been destroyed as evidenced by the floating remnants of the science vessel he had seen through the hole.

He finished the last bit of his ration bar and sat at the control panel near the viewfinder. “Computer record personal log," the computer beeped in response indicating that it was recording.

“Well, I just woke up and had a ration bar. I did a few stretches and I’m honestly just waiting for my device to reconnect with Pikes ship. It felt really good to talk to someone and have them respond.”

Jim paused in his reflection of the conversation he had with the mysterious crew member.

“We talked about my little book project I started to keep me busy, although talking is a stretch. It was more like I blathered on and the crew member just listened and responded here and there. I don’t even know who I’m talking too. Let’s hope it’s a hot chick, but with my luck, it’s most likely some 40-year-old science officer who complains about Mondays.” 

Jim gave a dry chuckle at his own joke. “I’m really bored, but that’s the whole purpose of the book I guess, it’s something to keep me occupied... So I guess I’ll continue to work on that. Computer end log.”

The computer beeped and Jim leaned back in the pilot chair and ran his tongue along the front of his teeth. God he wished he had a toothbrush. Or coffee. He missed coffee. When this was over he was going to bathe in coffee. Not only would it rejuvenate him, but the heat might also relax some of the knots forming in his shoulders from sleeping on the makeshift bed he had made.

“Computer: Open my file, Mina and the theory of the Mletin particle.”

The computer beeped: **“File is now open.”**

“Playback what you have so far.”

Jim listened to his own voice as he outlined the book's plot points, but even to him, his own voice sounded bored after a few minutes. He hated the sound of his own voice.

“Ugh, computer pause. Is there any way you can take the recording and make a transcript?”

**“Affirmative.”**

“Great transfer it to the main control panel.” He would type the rest of it from here.

The computer beeped indicating that the file has been transferred.

Jim pulled up the transcript and began reading, revising and adding paragraphs here and there. He personally liked it, but Mina had solved the Mletin particle problem way too quickly. She needed something else to do in the book...or perhaps he could write a bunch of mini-stories with her in them. He wanted her to be an adventure, kind of like an old fashioned earth hero named Indiana Jones. And with a stubborn Vulcan sidekick named Xon, they could travel the galaxy looking for...crazy rare lost artifacts. Jim wracked his brain for some artifacts he could use in the story. 

Stone of Ja’ak  
Crown Jewels of Gol  
Heirloom Seal of the Realm of Kholl 

He thumbed his fingers against his chin. He wished he could remember more about the lost artifacts but that really wasn't his area of expertise. Wait a minute...weren't the Crown jewels Of Gol discovered two years ago or something? 

Jim suddenly realized he might not be able to move forward on his little book project without a database to draw information from.

He sighed and slumped in his chair. Maybe writing this hadn't been such a good idea.

It was then he realized his communicator was connecting. He could once again reach out to Pike and the Enterprise. 

He grabbed the comm’ and held the button down. “Hello? Can anyone hear me?”

He received an immediate reply back.

**Yes.**

He let out a huge sigh of relief, but could you blame him? Every time his device disconnected he worried that it would be the last.

“Am I glad to hear from you, er well, at least know you're there. Is this Pike?”

**No.**

“Are you the crew member I was talking to before?”

**Yes.**

“Well, at least that's something. Have you been able to locate me yet?”

**No.**

Jim pursed his lips. “Are you guys still working on it?”

**Yes.**

“Do you think you’ll be able to find me?”

There was a long pause and Jim briefly hoped that it was due to connection issues, rather than someone not wanting to lie to him or give him false hope.

**Yes.** They finally answered.

He didn’t know what else to say or even ask. He supposed he could talk about his-

The comm device beeped a pattern in morse code.

**B-o-o-k?**

He slightly chuckled. “Are you sure you want to hear more? I blathered on quite a bit last time.”

**Yes.**

“Well, I think I’ve hit The famous writer’s block, or at least, writer information block. I have no way of researching my next topics without a database. Mina has solved the Mletin particle problem in the storyline but she’s solved it too quickly. The story is kind of short and so I was thinking of maybe making a bunch of mini-stories about her adventures in finding lost artifacts. Kind of like Indiana Jones thing. And that’s wherein the problem lies. I’m having a hard time thinking of what type of artifacts she should find.”

Jim described the artifacts he could think of and the crew member had notified Jim that the Crown jewels Of Gol had indeed been **d-i-s-c-o-v-e-r-e-d** already.

He sighed but the conversation continued, and if Jim was honest with himself it did boost his mood quite a bit.

He found himself branching off onto other topics like classic literature, Klingon warships ships and he even told a few Academy stories about him and Bones getting lost in San Francisco their first week there.

Jim talked on and on and before he knew it the poor crewmember had listened to him for three hours.

“I wish we could have an actual conversation. I’m sure my voice is starting to grate on you.” He swallowed his throat feeling a bit dry from all the talking. “You know, I don’t know much about you and it’s strange to not know who I’m talking to. Could I ask you some questions?

**Yes.**

“Are you female?”

**No.**

“So you’re male. Have we ever met before? I have visited the Enterprise a few times specifically to annoy Chris, maybe we were introduced?

**No.**

“That’s a shame. Does Chris ever talk about me?”

**Yes.**

Jim laughed. “All good things I hope.”

**Yes.**

This made Jim laugh again. “Do you…” Jim wracked his brain for more yes or no questions. “...Like sports?”

**No.**

“No home team huh?”

**No.**

“Are you married?”

**No.**

“Girlfriend?”

**No.**

“Boyfriend?” 

**No.**

“Really? No one? Eh, That’s okay, me either. Being a Starfleet Officer leaves very little time for romance. Um, let's see what else… Do you play an instrument?”

**Yes.**

“That’s cool. What kind?”

Jim heard the beeping pattern that quickly spelled out the instrument.

**L-y-r-e**

“A lyre? Is that like a harp?”

**Yes.**

“I can kind of play the guitar, but I’m mostly self-taught. What about—“

Jim heard the button being rapidly pushed. And like the first two times, his device clipped off.

“Ugh! NO!” Jim heaved an irritated sigh and thumped his Communicator against his temple. “No…,” he said, a bit softer to himself. He scrunched up his eyes, feeling weariness sink into every muscle and bone. 

The happiness he had just experienced from his conversation rapidly drained from his body and he suddenly felt exhausted. The beginning of a headache was forming in the back of his skull. Or maybe that was a concussion. He had, after all, been knocked unconscious.

He never realized how much of a social person he was. He had always thought he could handle being alone. 

But he supposed he had grown accustomed to the camaraderie of serving aboard the USS Star Marker. Sharing meals with fellow shipmates, laughing at ill-placed jokes on the bridge, constantly working towards his goal of becoming a Captain. He had barely a moment to himself. Even in his off time, he spent calling Bones, talking over long-distance since he was stationed at a clinic back on earth until they could get reassigned together.

Now the silence rose up around him like a thick blanket and it was suffocating. 

Jim stared out the window where there was nothing. Well, that wasn’t really true. He saw the appearance of the hole again, but this time it was smaller and a bit further away. Was his craft drifting? Or was the hole moving? 

His thoughts turned dark. Did it even matter anymore?

Everything else was so black. So blank, so empty. It was like the universe had turned off the sound and he hated the silence, as well as the solitude. 

He could feel hot angry tears welling up in his eyes as sadness and despair filled him. He’d been trying to outrun the inevitable reaction to being stuck in this pod alone, in a pocket of space with nothing in it. No sound. No light. Only darkness where he waited for rescue, but it was as if he didn’t exist at all. 

Was he even worth the effort for rescue?

He closed his eyes and a tear ran down his cheek. He was so frustrated.

He didn’t like the silence. It reminded him of another silence he had experienced as a child. A silence that only happened as a result of massive lost life. 

He remembered running down an empty street alone, the last bit of gunfire fading in the distance. It was so quiet. The last bit of cries for mercy had long since faded in the air.

He remembered running and running until his legs burned and the only sound he could hear was his labored breathing and the pounding of his heart in his chest.

He had stopped next to a large field of dead grass. The ebbing and flowing of the wind moved the field like a brown rotten sea. And yet, the movement, the sound, it was as if the ground were alive, calling to him. Life this way.

He ran towards it. Towards freedom.

He had nowhere to run now.


	6. Chapter 6

Montgomery Scott was a western European man with a Scotsman's burr. He was overly friendly, overly chatty and he was accompanied by a short Rolyan, introduced as Ensign Keenser. The little creature was four feet tall, with a green-brown face that resembled coral. The hard ridges of his skin left his expressions almost entirely blank.

“So, Mr. Spock, I’ve been apprised of yer, situation and if there’s any man that can find that poor lost fellow, it would be me.”

“And me.” Grunted Keenser. 

“You! You don’t even know the schematics of the escape pod if I recall you were in hibernation when I drew up the plans.”

“Was awake,” Keenser grunted again.

“Bah! Awa' n bile your head and get me my PADD from my bag.”

The ensign grumbled but did as he was told.

“I defer to your knowledge, Mr. Scott,” Spock said, watching the strange interaction taking place in his cabin. “Here is the device.” He gestured to the device on his table which was hooked up to his computer monitor.

“Aye.” The man scanned the device with his PADD and began running diagnostics. 

“This is quite a feat of ingenuity, this Kirk fellow must be brilliant.” The engineer said looking over the mess of wires. Spock wanted to nod in agreement but stood still.

“Well according to my readouts, the parts that Mr. Kirk used from the pod's replicator came from pod number 38.”

“Does that knowledge help you locate him?”

“Well it narrows the search, doesn't it? Since the rest of the pods were blown to smithereens. But since this little do-dad is part of the pod’s homing beacon we can’t just find him like we normally would, sendin’ probes and scannin' and such. If he’s stuck in some sort of pocket of space I will have to look for the pod materials itself.”

Before Spock could respond, the Scotsman stepped past him. He placed his PADD under his arm and rubbed his hands together before cracking his knuckles.

“In the meantime, I believe I have a solution to your communication problem. You said his signal keeps cutting out due to high particle radiation?” He set himself down at Spock's desk and began pulling up the computer's codes that interlocked with the device. “I can fix that.”

“Mr. Scott if you could elaborate on what you are doing,” Spock said uneasily watching the engineer pull up the subroutines in his computer and messing with the connection code to Kirk.

“I have escape pod number 38’s registration code right here.” The man said tapping his PADD. “I believe I can hack into the pod’s computer unit through your own system. That way you’ll be able to access the escape pod's security camera and get a visual on your lost man. However, there may be a downside to all of this.”

His fingers flew across the keyboard and Spock was impressed at how quickly his thought process must be in order to achieve such speed.

“Since I'm strengthenin' the link to your station, I’ll have to move the signal so tha' it’s rerouted directly to your cabin. Once this is done you won’t be able to close the communication. If the signal breaks it will be next to impossible to get him back, so try not to break it.”

He paused briefly to sniff and scratch his nose, obviously thinking to himself.

“Oi! Keenser! What’s Mr. Spock's cabin identification code?” He shouted over his shoulder.

The little creature just shrugged. 

“Tsk, yer no help you know tha? You walkin’ pile of pebbles. If ya not gonna help, make yourself useful, an' find us both a bite ta eat.”

“My cabin identification code is 03221823.” Spock said as he watched the ensign leave his cabin, presumably to procure food for himself and Mr. Scott. 

“This is not gonna be the most ideal set up, but since you already have the device connected to your computer it’s the best option. Moving the signal is a wee bit sketchy since I don’t know where it’s coming from, but it shouldn’t be too hard.”

Spock’s frown deepened, “Then perhaps moving the signal is not the best-“

“Done.”

The device blinked on.

“Now we should be able to hear the lad, clear as a bell.”

Spock strained his ears to hear any movement coming from Kirk’s side, but all was quiet.

“How long do you believe it will take us to receive the camera feed from Mr. Kirk’s pod?” Spock asked, feeling a bit eager at the prospect of seeing the man.

“We should be getting an image any moment now.” Scotty said with his fingers racing across the keyboard.

Spock’s screen flickered on and there he was. James T. Kirk.

Spock felt an immediate pull. Pins and needles ran down his spine and the overwhelming feeling that he should know this man came to the forefront of his mind.

The man lay sleeping in an odd position on a makeshift bed composed of two chairs covered in what looked to be the remains of shredded bio suits.  
One of his arms was tossed over his head, while the other gently rose and fell on his abdomen with his soft breathing.

Spock clenched his jaw. The man was captivating. He was beautiful. 

“Aye, there he is.” Scotty nodded his head proudly, unaware of Spock’s staring.

Yes, there he was. Not just a photograph but the real thing. Until that moment, he’d only seen the man in his mind's eye, now he found himself illogically wanting to reach out and touch him through the screen.

Who are you? And why do you make me...feel?

“Looks like he’s asleep,” the engineer said, stating the obvious, “but for someone who’s ship has been blown up and has been lost in space for a few days, it sure hasn’t affected his looks. Handsome bastard, jus’ look at tha' hair! I wish mine stuck up like that.”

Spock suddenly felt a new emotion wiggle it’s way into his chest. He could not identify it. He looked from the screen to the engineer sitting next to him and did not like the fact that Mr. Scott was staring at the man who was sleeping unaware.

But that didn’t last too long as the engineer somehow switched camera feed to the outer hull of the ship.

“Would you look at that! The report wasn’t kidding. He really is in a void of some kind.” The Scotsman said, sounding astonished. “I wonder if we can see this hole he was talkin’ about. That might help us as well if we can identify the stars on the other side.”

There was a soft moan from the device.

“Sounds like he might be wakin’ up.” Mr. Scott commented as he flipped the camera feed to the interior of the pod. 

Kirk’s chest was convulsing, struggling for breath and he suddenly cried out, bolting up straight from his sleep, startling both the Vulcan and the Scotsman.

His chest heaved as he tried to gasp for air, shaking violently.

Spock instantly leaned in closer to the monitor. “What is happening to him?” He could feel his own panic rise witnessing Kirk’s sudden movements.

Scotty’s eyes went wide with worry. “Looks like the poor lad is havin' a panic attack.”

Spock watched in growing horror as Kirk grabbed a pipe from under his makeshift bed and made a dash to smash in the pod’s window.

“Mr. Scott is the transmitter working?” He forced himself to ask in a calm but urgent manner.

“Aye! should be good to go!” 

Spock slammed his hand down on his control panel and all but screamed: “Stop!” just as Kirk took a swing.

————————————————-

Screams came from deep within his mind, breaking the surface in a deafening chorus, as if they had been waiting for just this moment to escape. It was so unexpected and terrifying that it choked the breath from him. He felt his heart pound rapidly as he tried to make his lungs work, but everything seemed paralyzed, buried beneath the piercing screams. He tried to run, tried to hide, but the screams turned into shouts and then singled down one violent drunken voice.

“Jimmy! Where are you, you good for nothin’!”

Sam. He needed to find Sam. But his brother was nowhere to be found.

He couldn’t run anymore, his body ached and his lungs burned.

“There you are,” came a voice directly from behind him. Hot alcoholic breath stained the air, he turned in fear as hands wrapped around the back of his neck.

Jim jerked awake with a scream and sat up in a panic, sweat drenching his face. His chest was tight and he was struggling to gulp at the recycled air of the pod. 

Calm down, you’re fine, calm down, you're fine.

He wasn’t fine.

_You’re gonna die here!_ His brain screamed at him.

He stood up shaking his head out trying desperately to dislodge the intrusive thoughts.

It wasn’t working. Staring wildly around him his surroundings began to smear together; it wasn’t making any sense. He didn’t know what to do. He felt trapped, like the pod's walls were closing in on him. He glanced at the pod window. 

He should break it.

He should let the void claim him. It clearly wanted him; it had been trying to get him ever since he became stuck in its inky blackness.

It would be over so quickly.

His heart raced in his chest and the darkness taunted him. He grabbed the metal pipe he had pulled from the wall and began to climb on the control panel, his mind was so hectic- so frantic- he raised his arm to swing.

“Stop!”

He froze startled.

"Mr. Kirk, Put down the pipe.” Ordered a strong, calming voice.

His arm shook with effort as he stiffly, robotically lowered the pipe. 

“What?” He asked, dazed.

”Come down from the control panel.”

Jim blinked rapidly. ”How do you know-“

“Come down from the control panel and I will speak with you.” 

The voice was softer now, earnest. Jim's eyes burned with unshed, panicked tears and it took him a few moments to realize that the voice was coming from his communicator. 

Jim dropped the pipe, and on shaky legs, he climbed down.

"Who are you?” He demanded, “How are you talking to me?” 

His movements tilted his steps unevenly and his chest still heaved with pants. 

“I am talking to you with the help of an engineer named Montgomery Scott. He was the one who discovered a way to send my voice through to you in the void.”

Jim folded his arms. “I don’t believe you.” He snapped, the adrenaline from his panic attack pumping through his veins. “This could be anybody, how do I know you’re not working with Evan Macintosh? Huh? Or the Klingons? Maybe you’re even a new type of threat from this void.”

The voice answered in an even steady tone, “Evan Macintosh is dead. If I was working with anybody, even the Klingons as you say, I would have no reason to reach out to you before you did serious harm to yourself.”

Jim frowned. 

“O-kay.” He said slowly, disbelief still clearly in his voice. “And how did you know I was on the control panel?” 

“The escape pod you are in has a built-in security camera, we were also able to access it’s feed thanks to the engineer that built the USS Star Marker.” Again the voice was so even, so sturdy, Jim could feel it have a calming effect on him. Centering him.

He grunted as he looked around trying to find the hidden camera. “So who are you then?”

“I am the Starfleet member you have been speaking to through your device.”

“You sound like a Vulcan.” Jim accused.

“That is because I am a Vulcan.”

Jim blinked and then barked out a harsh laugh. “No way. Nuh-uh. I don’t believe it. A Vulcan? Please! A Vulcan would never have sat and listened to all my crazy stories and my blathering mouth, let alone respond back. Sorry, that’s the wrong answer, try again.”

“I am indeed a Vulcan, and I did indeed listen to all you had to say.”

Jim scrunched up his face "Prove it."

“You often speak of writing a book out of boredom, about an Orion slave girl becoming free from her captors and having similar adventures to an earth hero named Indiana Jones on different planets. I must admit I had to research who that was, but your knowledge of the artifacts you wished for her to discover was quite accurate.”

Jim slowly lowered himself down on his makeshift bed. He was still slightly shaking from what had just happened, but he felt his doubts slowly ebbing away. This time he really did give a genuine, but shaky laugh. 

"Okay, maybe you are telling the truth."

“Vulcans do not lie.”

Jim swallowed thickly. “Well, it’s nice to meet you Mr...?”

"Spock." 

"Spock." He said, trying the name on his tongue. "I’m sorry Mr. Spock. I’m sure listening to me must have been torture for a Vulcan. Was there no one else available or did you volunteer?” Jim asked in a teasing manner, but in reality, he was just trying to buy some time so his heart could calm down.

“Captain Pike ordered me to fix-“

Jim’s head snapped up.

“Pike? Chris?” He asked excitedly. “Is he there with you? Can I talk to him?” 

“Regrettably Captain pike is dealing with other issues at the moment, but I’m sure he’ll want to talk to you at his earliest convenience.”

Jim nodded “Yeah okay.” He said almost absently as he looked around his pod for a possible hiding place for a camera.

“If yer looking for the camera lad it’s in the upper left corner.” Came a heavily accented voice.

Jim turned and saw a small hole in the bulkhead.

“There ya go,” The voice said cheerfully. 

“Are you the engineer who found me?”

“Well, technically... I haven’t actually found you yet Mr. Kirk. I can pick up your signal but I can't tell where it’s coming from.”

Jim let out a sigh from his nose.

“Mr. Kirk,” came that strong but calm voice again. “ I must inform you while Mr. Scott here was able to secure a network between us. We are no longer at liberty to break the connection. Neither I nor you must turn the signal off from either side, otherwise, we risk losing a way to contact you indefinitely”

Jim felt a spike of anxiety. “What about the hole? When it opens that’s when we lose contact.”

“That shouldn't be a problem lad. I have made sure that the signal won’t die by making compensations for the radiation fluctuations.”

Jim blinked a few times letting the information sink in.  
Something must have shown on his face because the engineer spoke up, compassion heavy in his voice. “Don’t give up lad, Starfleet's lookin for ya.” 

“Is that right?” Jim replied somewhat self-deprecating as he turned his eyes up to the little hole.

“Aye. They stole me from a previous assignment jus’ to come to see if I could help in your search and recovery.”

Jim slightly snorted. “I’m sure the destruction of a prototype ship was a deciding factor in the decision as well.” 

He wasn’t a fool. He was training in command and he had seen enough evidence of Starfleet choosing to give up too quickly when resources were weighed against human life. If push came to shove they might give up the fight in finding him.

When he was captain, he would change that. Every life lost would matter. 

“Well, yes” the engineer admitted pulling him from his thoughts. “It was a bran’ new barin that science vessel. But ships can be rebuilt, and yer life is certainly more valuable to Starfleet, otherwise, they wouldn’t have come an got me.”

“Does that mean you have a plan?” Jim asked hopefully. 

“I'm glad you asked, ya handsome devil. As I was explaining to Mr. Spock earlier that since you tore apart your homing beacon to make your distress signal, a Brilliant move, by the way, I believe I can send out some probes to scan for the Material that makes up your pod.”

“I doubt we can believe the scans, Mr. Scott. The surrounding space is putting out abnormal levels of Particle radiation that we can not account for.” 

There was that voice again. Jim wanted to close his eyes and drift in its deepness. It had just saved his life. It was like an anchor in a wild storm.

What an odd thought since it belonged to a Vulcan. He would have never thought in a million years that a Vulcan's voice would bring him a bit of peace rather than stress. Other Vulcans he had previously interacted with had been annoying or downright rude, but not this Vulcan. This one was different somehow. He strained his ears to hear the Vulcan speak again as he talked with the engineer.

“ Oh, I’d bet. That’d foul up your long-range scanners for sure. Bleein’ needle in a haystack is what this is. What we need is a magnet.”

“A magnet?” He heard the Vulcan question.

“Aye Sir. You want to pick a piece of metal out of the straw, you use a magnet. The escape pod hulls are made out of metallic composites that interact with magnetic fields. We could send out a few probes to scan the system for those specific magnetic resonance patterns. Even if Jim’s pod is hidden, we might pick up a fluctuation in the hysteresis curve.”

“Mr. Scott, The magnetic deflection of an escape pod’s hull is extremely weak. The probes will never be able to detect it and the radiation fluctuations might lead to false positives.” The calming voice argued.

“ I can just outfit them probes with a differential magnetometer. Jus’ ya leave it ta me.” The engineer countered.

Jim thought he could actually hear the Vulcan slightly frown.

“I am afraid, Mr. Scott, that I have never heard of a differential magnetometer. How does it work?”

The engineer laughed. “I’ll let ya know as soon as I've finished makin’ one.”

That surprised a laugh from Jim. Note to self, he thought, when I become a captain, offer that man a job.

Jim heard a beep And he recognized the sound as someone’s doorbell to their cabin, and he heard a familiar voice.

“Did you make contact yet?”

“Affirmative sir,”

“Jim, Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.”

Jim gave an uneven smile. “Nice of you to join the party, Chris.”

“Yes well, I’ve had the hardest time getting away from Starfleet command, you’ve left quite a big mess behind.”

Jim held up his hands in a fake surrender gesture. “I had nothing to do with anything,” he said giving a rueful, dry smile.

There was a long pause from Pike and Jim frowned. “You know that right? You know I didn’t do anything.”

He heard Pike heave a long sigh. “Unfortunately kid, Starfleet believes you might have had something to do with the death of Captain Mac and the destruction of the USS Star Marker.

“What!?” Jim jumped to his feet, “On what grounds?!”

“There’s been some...evidence discovered. We found your DNA under the fingernails of Captain Mac-“

“He attacked me first! I told you this!”

“Jim please, calm down, I believe you but-”

Jim could feel his nostrils flare. “What other **“** evidence **”** do they have?!” His skin felt hot and he could tell his face was getting red. 

“We discovered the USS Star Marker was destroyed by Klingon fire.”

“Klingon fire?” Jim repeated, confused.

“Yes you were on the edge of Klingon space and it was your code that ordered the ship into that position.

“But I was ordered to move the ship because of Captain Mac! He held me at gunpoint after we dropped the crew off on an M class planet!”

“So you know nothing of the detonators?”

“Detonators? What are you talking about? Chris, I was struck over the head and woke up here. That’s all I know.”

“The Klingon fire was faked by individual detonators, your access code was used as the key to set them off, destroying the ship and making it look like the science vessel had been attacked by Klingons.”

Jim’s neck felt like iron and his stomach churned. He felt like there was too much blood in his head and he was going to throw up.

“Captain,” came that calm and soothing voice. “Mr. Kirk is unwell at the moment. He may be suffering from a concussion and he has recently suffered a panic attack. I do not think he should be answering any questions at this time.” The voice was firm and final and Jim would have laughed at the fact a Vulcan was defending if he wasn’t seeing black dots dancing before his eyes.

“Er, Captain Sir, if you wouldn’ mind I would like to look at the remains of the ship.” The Scotsman offered.

“Of course Mr. Scott. Jim, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to stress you out.” Pike apologized. “But there will definitely be questions needing answers once we get you out of there.”

Jim just stared straight ahead to the other side of the pod’s wall. He didn’t know what to say. Or if he should say anything.

“Spock your only objective from here on out is to watch over Kirk until we can figure out a way to free him from the void.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Mr. Scott if you would come with me.”

There were some shuffling noises and then all was quiet.

Jim couldn’t believe it. He had done everything. EVERYTHING in his power to turn his life around. Striving to become something better, but he guessed fate had other plans. 

“Mr.Kirk, are you well?”

Jim practically jumped out of his skin. 

The Vulcan. He forgot.

He wasn't alone.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The updates are gonna slow down a bit but there are definitely more coming. I'm just humbled people are taking time out of their day to read what I wrote! Your comments are making my quarantine livable, and I'm so honored people like my art! Thank you.

Spock leaned forward in his chair, his gaze taking in the luminescence of the computer screen better. The image of the interior of the escape pod was clear and he could see Kirk sitting down on his makeshift bed.

He had startled Kirk with his query, but the man had yet to reply.

Spock was slightly ashamed at his behavior towards Captain Pike. He had not intended to interrupt the Captain's questioning, it was after all imperative they receive some answers as soon as possible. But the more he saw Kirk become distraught, the more he felt compelled to jump to his defense. 

Was it not a few days ago that he thought Pike held Kirk in a too favorable light? Now he seemed to be doing the same thing.

Although the news of the detonators to replicate Klingon fire was new to him. The fact that it was Kirk’s code that was used to set them off looked extremely bad for him, but Spock's intuition was telling him that the man might be innocent, despite the evidence weighed against him. Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. He just needed to uncover the truth.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Kirk whispered, finally speaking.

Spock watched the man carefully. He could admit to himself that he was eager to talk with him again this time knowing they could actually hold a two-way conversation.

Just following him through a one-sided conversation before had meant bouncing back and forth between a dozen topics, which ranged from flippant absurdity to serious and educated subject matter. It was fascinating. 

But right now the man remained quiet.

Spock ran through several sentence starters in his mind, all of which he dismissed. He was woefully unprepared for interacting with Kirk, realizing for the first time that he was at a loss on how to start a conversation. He had never tried, People usually approached him first.

Perhaps that’s what he should do now. Allow Kirk to make the first move for a conversation, although there might be some trepidation on his part. He had not missed Kirk’s surprise at discovering that he had been speaking to a Vulcan.

But Spock wanted to reach out first. He wanted to talk about the Mletin particle. He wanted to talk about the artifacts Kirk wanted to use in his book or how he played the Guitar. He wanted to talk about anything as long as it was with this man.

Spock stared at Kirk assessing him, his eyes mapped the lines of stress on his cheekbones and could see the barest hint of shadows beginning to form under his eyes. There was a slight scruffiness where his beard would be coming in soon without shaving, and it would eventually make him look rougher.

He felt his heart turn over in his side at the thought. Something deep inside his stomach stirred.

Yes. The man was attractive, he knew this from the photo. But there was something else luring him in and Spock was once again frustrated that he couldn’t identify it.

He opened his mouth to speak, but could not find anything he wished to try and say. He was suddenly grateful that Kirk could not see him struggle to form words. 

Abruptly Kirk moved, his face showed a twinge of pain before he reached up and touched his temple.

“There should be a txnit-hypospray in a first aid kit if you are experiencing symptoms of a headache.” Spock suddenly found himself saying.

Kirk blinked and looked over to a corner of the pod, presumably where the first aid kit was located.

“I’m not really one for hyposprays.” He muttered, “I’ll be fine.”

Kirk did not say anything more, but Spock was encouraged by his response.

“Perhaps you should lie down and dim the escape pods lights. Proper rest will increase your chance for survival 39.6%.”

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say. Rather than bringing the man comfort, he frowned. 

“Why would you say that?” He sounded slightly irritated.

“To alleviate any concerns you might feel. If it may help I will remind you that Vulcans require less sleep than humans to sufficiently function, So I will fulfill my orders and continually watch over you while you rest.”

His eyes widened in understanding. “You’re trying to comfort me. I didn’t know a Vulcan could… well care…” he muttered sheepishly.

He saw Jim’s hands still slightly trembling where they laced together between his legs.

Spock’s knuckles flexed in his lap. He wanted to touch. To calm. To reassure.

“Mr. Kirk, while your well being is my main duty until you are rescued, I do not wish you to feel ...alone in your ordeal. I have witnessed the effects solitude has had on you and I want you to refrain from a repeat performance with the metal pipe.”

“Jim.” He finally said, a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. “Please, call me Jim. I didn’t know a soft Vulcan could exist.” 

Spock straightened in his chair somewhat affronted.

“I am not soft as you say, rather I do not want you putting your life at risk again,” he insisted firmly.

Jim looked straight into the camera, his blue eyes seeming to know exactly where Spock sat, and gave a full knowing smile, humor creeping back onto his face. “Ok sure, whatever you say.”

Spock’s heart began to race. An illogical response. 

“I really don’t want to rest though. These escape pods are not exactly comfortable and I...I don’t really want to go back to sleep.”

“Then presumably, you wish to talk.”

“Well, I don’t really know what I want to do. I’ve just been accused of murder. So I’m still trying to process that.” He fidgeted in his seat. “Why don’t you talk for a while?” He suggested.

Spock raised a brow. “What would you like me to talk about?”

“I don’t know. Anything really.”

“Then perhaps we can discuss your book.”

Blue eyes found the camera. “ You know, I found it odd that someone would want to listen to my ramblings about a silly book, and yet I find it's even odder that it was a Vulcan the whole time. What’s so great about my little project that keeps you interested Mr. Spock?”

A fair question.

“While I am not prone to reading such literature, it is clear that you were using the project to keep yourself busy. You said yourself that you wanted to work on it because you became bored. Although I must profess, I am particularly interested in discussing your Mletin particle solution.”

“Not to be rude Mr. Spock, but why are you interested in that? I remember you said that you believed the theory was worth exploring, But at the time I didn’t know I was talking to a Vulcan. Wasn’t that theory recalled by your high council?”

“Indeed it was.”

“Then why-“

“Because it is my theory. My paper was the one pulled from publication.”

Spock watched Kirk’s mouth drop open, and then make a face that would be considered quite comical to other humans. “ _Your_ paper?” He choked out. 

He sat frozen for a heartbeat before he burst out laughing.

“Oh, oh, oh my God, that’s- that’s “ he could not stop laughing long enough to finish his sentence. Spock tilted his head. He was not so sure what was funny. He did not understand Kirk’s sudden, and inexplicable outburst… but it pleased him to see that he seemed to be in a better mood.

His cheeks, that had been etched with stress now looked youthful. Full of life. The corners of his eyes wrinkled in a charming manner that had not been exposed in his identification photo. 

“I’m sorry”, Kirk gasped. “I shouldn’t- I’m not quite sure why I’m laughing.” He wiped a few tears from his eyes. “I think my body can only handle so much shock today you know?”

“Indeed.” But Spock did not know. Humans and their emotional reactions were still a bit confusing to him. 

“I’m sure you weren’t too thrilled to discover me messing with your theory, in a fiction book no less.”

“Upon what basis did you make that evaluation?” Spock asked, curious.

“You know, I don’t know. I suppose I’ve placed my past experiences with Vulcans on you and that’s not fair. You do seem different somehow.”

Spock pursed his lips. He did not know how to process this. On the one hand, Kirk was suggesting that he was not like other Vulcans, which was something he strove to be like in every action, but his differences were what was causing Kirk to open up to him.

“Mr. Kirk-"

“Jim.”

Spock paused briefly, he should Insist they use proper titles to keep some professionalism about them, like how he had done with Nurse Chapel, but he experienced a wave of pleasure at the prospect of calling the man by his first name.

“Jim. I would like to inform you that I ran your hypothesis through the computer and it began forming possible simulations and is mapping out sequences as we speak.”

“Ha! I knew it! Those Vulcans who pulled your paper are gonna eat their words when you present them with proof that your theory was correct.”

This puzzled Spock. “Jim,” oh yes it was definitely pleasurable using his first name, “you are the one who came up with a solution to prove my theory, do you not wish to publish the discovery yourself?”

The man actually shrugged “No you take the credit.”

Spock frowned in confusion. Most humans loved to take credit for discoveries, they even tried to do so when they were not the ones to discover things. They glorified those who have done so like celebrities. So why then did he reject the idea of claiming credit?

“I must confess I do not understand your reasoning.” he finally admitted.

“For not taking credit? I just helped it along, it was your theory to begin with. And it would be a great way to rub it in the faces of those who doubted you.” He paused gathering his thoughts, “One of the things I learned when I became a leader was, nobody accomplishes anything alone. If you really want to include me in the credit you’re welcome to do so, but I won’t be offended if you don’t. As a leader, I want to make it a goal to see others succeed because I’m in a position to do so.”

He leaned back against one of the chairs. “I guess I’ll have to find something else for Mina to discover though.”

Spock was intrigued by the man’s thinking. It was indeed logical that most did not accomplish things on their own and he could admire someone who wished to see others succeed in their endeavors.

“But hey can I ask why they pulled your paper? It wasn’t even in circulation that long and I could not believe the reasoning behind why they did so, saying that your theory was impossible? What a load of bull. They obviously didn’t even try!”

Spock slowly blinked, deciding whether or not he should share his opinion with the man.

“It is my personal belief that my paper was pulled due to my heritage.”

“Your heritage? What the hell?! Why?!”

Spock took a centering breath, “because my mother is human.”

He watched Kirk’s face scrunch up in disbelief, his full brows lowering over his blue irises. “Human? You’re half-human?”

Spock was uncertain how the man was processing the information his eyes darting back and forth showing he was rapidly thinking.

“That’s so messed up! They can’t do that! That’s the biggest load of bull I have ever heard. Bunch of- ugh!” He huffed out a breath and shook his head, “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“What is done, is done. I can not control the decisions of the Vulcan High Council.” He responded calmly.

“But you can’t control what your DNA is made of!” Kirk fired back, “Well once you prove your theory it won’t matter. Your mind is what should be recognized, not other nonsensical things out of your control.”

Spock was uncertain how to respond. It was fascinating to watch Kirk defend him so fiercely. So few had done so in his life. 

He felt his chest warm and blood rushing to his cheeks.

“Your confidence in my mind is gratifying to hear.” He finally said.

Kirk smiled and a moment passed between them, an understanding of sorts. It was brief but Spock could not help but think it was significant somehow.

It was then he heard a rumbling noise and watched Kirk grab at his abdomen in embarrassment. “I guess I’m a bit hungry,'' he said sheepishly.”

He got up and wandered over to a pile of what looked to be ration bars on one of the other chairs. 

“Is that your food source?” 

“This? Yeah, I replicated as many as I could before I dismantled the food replicator. Don’t worry they’re chocolate-flavored so I’m not suffering too bad. Although I would kill for a chicken sandwich,” he sighed wistfully. “Or coffee, God I should have replicated coffee.”

“And where are you keeping your water?” Spock curiously asked not seeing any water bottles or containers.

Kirk had unwrapped his ration bar and was munching on it when he nodded. “Hn,” he said with a mouth full of food. He quickly swallowed. “Let me give you the grand tour. I turned the closet that held the emergency bio suits and supplies into water storage. I used a small phaser tool to seal it off to prevent evaporation and then I took one of the bio suits air hoses and hooked it up to the tank. If I get thirsty I just sip from the hose. I tore up the bio suits for blankets just in case the climate controls in this pod malfunction." He then walked back over the control panel at the front of the pod. "I also briefly dismantled the airlock system and rigged it so I could shoot my device out into the void. I had only one shot.”

He walked back to his makeshift bed. “So that’s it. Home away from home, I guess,” he said finishing.

Spock was impressed, even more so now that he had seen the obstacles Kirk had to overcome in order to craft his device and get it out into space. 

_I had only one shot._

He remembered reading Kirk's file. The man had gotten high marks in his school exams, especially in survival simulations, but Spock knew that the survival courses were more planet-based then this particular situation.

Spock suddenly and inexplicably found himself somewhat grateful that this man was savvy enough to have made it this far.

But the mention of his distress signal brought up more questions.

Why if he was in such dire straits, did he disguise his distress signal from having a Starfleet signature?

Should he ask Kirk? 

He had stopped Captain Pike's line of questioning because he was concerned that it was causing unnecessary stress and panic to overwhelm the man. But he seemed a bit better now.

“Jim, if I may ask you. Why did you disguise your distressing signal, hiding its Starfleet signature?”

His face fell and it took him a moment to answer. “I- I was worried that Captain Mac would be the one to find it. I truly didn’t know if he was dead and I was afraid that he-“ his sentence faded there.

He looked away, obviously not wanting to continue the conversation.

Spock clenched his jaw. He did not like to see Kirk stressed. He should have not asked the question. Questions could wait until after he was safely out of the void and aboard the Enterprise.

_And in his cabin._

Spock was surprised at himself for having that particular thought, he did not like others in his cabin. But It was, after all, logical that once Kirk was rescued he might want to come to his cabin and view his computer set up to see how they communicated with his pod.

Yes very logical.

At least that’s what Spock told himself.

It took a bit of coaxing but Kirk returned to talking to him like he had never asked the question. And they talked. About a multitude of things. there was never a lull in the conversation. It was perhaps one of the most diverse and fascinating conversations Spock had ever had. They talked about his book project and possible objects in which his Orion Character Mina could discover. After that, they began a discussion on the pros and cons of using dark matter particles and instead of dilithium crystals to power future warp cores. Spock was intrigued at the profound understanding of mechanics that Kirk was demonstrating and found himself both impressed with the man's knowledge and baffled why he was in command and not the science or engineering departments. 

Spock enjoyed the conversation very much, that was until he began to notice Jim was slowing down in his responses and yawning. 

_____________________________________________

Jim had been hesitant at first when the Vulcan had begun talking to him. But this Spock seemed different. He found that he enjoyed discussing things with him and he couldn’t help but think it might have been due to his half-human nature.  
Half-human. Who would have thought?

Whoever his mother was, he wanted to buy her a drink. It took someone extraordinary to not only put up with Vulcans on a daily basis but to be married to one must be a whole nother challenge.

He stifled a yawn.

“Perhaps, Jim, you should rest. We have been talking at length for a few hours and you are showing the signs of exhaustion.”

Jim felt his face slip into a pout. He didn’t want to rest. Not now that he had someone to talk to and to keep him company. 

And how could he admit that after the particular nightmare he had that he didn’t want to sleep for at least a week?

But they had been talking for a while and he suddenly realized that the Vulcan might need to eat or rest himself, even if he said he could go without rest for long periods of time. As much as he hated it, he needed to give the Vulcan a break.

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right. I uh, guess I’ll lay down.” He tried to give a reasonable smile as if the very thought didn’t cause him anxiety.

He loathed to do it but he dimmed his pod's lights. He hadn’t done so until now for a few reasons. The first being he had only taken quick and short naps because he didn’t know when his signal would go through again, so he needed to be awake just in case something happened.

The second reason was it was already in a black void, absent of any stars or multicolored nebula. He didn’t need the world to get any darker. 

But for appearance’s sake, he would dim the lights, although he wasn’t certain if he could get to sleep.

True he felt a little better knowing someone was now watching over him, but that actually meant someone was watching over him. A Vulcan to no less.

He swallowed. 

He was kind of like an animal in a zoo when he really thought about it.

Jim rolled onto his side facing away from the camera, resolutely closing his eyes. You're too tired to think about this, he told himself. _Go to sleep...Sleep will help._

He laid still for maybe twenty minutes before he began restlessly moving his legs, trying to shift positions, he was extremely uncomfortable. The absence of sound seemed to grow overbearing once more, his breathing too loud. 

Think of something nice, he told himself.

“Jim I see that you are in distress.”

Of course, the Vulcan would make a comment. How embarrassing. He really was watching him sleep.

“I’m not in distress, I just don’t like the silence. It’s just too quiet.” He grumbled rolling over to once again face the camera.

There was a brief pause and then he heard shuffling movements. It sounded like he had gotten up and walked away. 

Perhaps the Vulcan wanted to give him some privacy thinking it might help him fall asleep if someone wasn’t watching him.

He closed his eyes once, shifting his arms and shoulders to try and get comfortable again. Sleep Jim, don’t think, sleep.

A single music note pierced the silence. 

It was then followed by the soft unfurling of a sincere tune. Quiet notes seemed to fill up his small space, echoing slightly off the walls, breathing warmth into the cold and stale recycled air he had been breathing. 

Jim sat up, listening intensely. “Is that...is that you playing?”

“I thought the sound might help you rest.” Came the gentle reply.

He listened to the notes being plucked from the strings. He played beautifully. 

Was this really happening? Was a Vulcan playing music for him?

His heart suddenly squeezed. It was one of the most thoughtful things anyone had ever done for him. 

He was...touched. 

He laid back down and listened to the music drift over his head. “Thank you.” He whispered, finally feeling the pull of sleep at his mind. Though he wasn't sure the Vulcan heard him over the music.

A certain warm glow ignited inside him and before he knew it the music had lulled him into a deep slumber.


	8. Chapter 8

Spock watched Jim sleep, thanks to his lyre playing.

Normally, Spock could be objective and keep his distance from someone but as he reviewed his behavior in the past few hours, he was rather shocked. He had experienced a myriad of emotions all of which had risen to the surface unbidden while interacting with Kirk.

Fear, worry...fondness.

He needed to keep his responses under control until he understood them. 

When Kirk had been restless, Spock had acted out of character when he began to comfort him with music. He normally would not have played his lyre for anybody, including Pike who had asked him to do so on multiple occasions for the crew.

But looking down at Kirk, whose face was the reflection of peace, he did not regret sharing his talents, and he felt satisfaction seeing the gentle rise and fall of his chest.

As he watched Jim sleep, Spock could not explain away the longing pull he felt toward the other man. Kirk had dimmed his pod lights, but there was still enough illumination so that Spock could see the soft outlines of his sleeping form. He mapped the planes of Kirk’s body with his eyes, the flatness of his chest, the roundness of his shoulders, the narrow dip of his hips which were slightly exposed to the camera; memorizing them in his head the way he did with star charts.

He wants to touch him.

Spock tightened his knuckles.

These thoughts should not be. He was Vulcan after all and he should not want such things. It goes against everything he has ever learned, against Surak’s very own teachings.

He should meditate.

Just about to get up and prepare for an evening of meditation, Kirk sighed in his sleep and gently shifted his position.

That sigh was like a chain, anchoring him in his place.

He stayed in his seat. He could meditate from his chair. Vulcans did not require as much rest as humans, the last time he had gone without sleep had been for two weeks on an away mission gone wrong. Granted he was extremely tired by the end of it and he had needed a few days to recover, but the experance had proved doable. So he would meditate while keeping a close watch on the camera and forgo resting. He knew his limits.

Spock straightened in his chair and cleared his mind. He began examining his thoughts and actions for the day, most of which centered around Kirk. Jim. His mind reminded him. Jim. The man that needed his help. The man that was accused of murder. The man that was in some way different from others. 

His blues eyes seemed to fill his thoughts.

It was then he felt a mental tug at the back of his mind. It was soft and barely noticeable but it had teased itself into Spock’s awareness. Spock abruptly stopped examining his thoughts and carefully searched for what could have caused the strange sensation. 

He gave himself a corporeal form and began walking through his mindscape looking all around for whatever it was that had caused the tug, but it seemed to be gone.

He wondered if it could possibly have been a familial bond needing attention.

His mind shifted, bringing his mother and father’s bonds to the forefront of his mind.

Deep maroon and light blue, the bonds stretched out into his mind's expanse glowing peacefully from his center, unchanged since the last time he had examined them. He allowed his hand to hover over the light blue one, his mother. He wanted to touch the bond but stopped himself. There was no need to bother her or alert her to his presence.

He watched as his parents' bonds as they danced about in his mind, moving as if tossed on some unforeseen wind. The bonds often crossed paths and combined together in different places, turning a light purple color where they touched.

Spock had seen a very few other pairs of mated bonds in his life, but they had never looked anything like his parents. 

The first time he had witnessed a bond other than his parents had been the clan matriarch’s T’Pau. She had touched his mind at his betrothal ceremony when he was a child.

She had taken his mind in a meld and had shown him, and his betrothed, what their bonds would look like once completed.  
T’Pau’s' bond with her mate had been rigid. Respectful. Never really touching. 

It had confused him and he had wondered if his parent’s bond was defective somehow. Later, when he had asked his father about it, his answer had been brisk.

“It is caused by your mother. Her mind is not skilled enough to control her side of the bond.”

This response had upset him at the time, thinking it was an insult towards his mother until he came of an age where he realized that their bond was unique, not so much defective. His father certainly did not seem to mind his mother's lack of control. 

He watched their bonds dance for a bit before he began to search for the tug again. Perhaps it was his broken bond with T’Pring.

He brought the area where her bond had existed to the forefront of his mind. The ground was black, looking scorched and scarred as if a lighting strike had struck the area.

Even with an expert healer, breaking the bond with her had been painful for him. But he did not regret doing so. Her disdain for him had been a constant presence in his mind while growing older and when she had proposed of breaking off their betrothal because she had found another mate who she preferred over him, he had no issues with it.

But there was no evidence of change to the area.

What had he felt then?

He was about to wander deeper into his mind until he heard his cabin door beep.

Withdrawing from his mediation he checked on Jim, making sure he was still asleep before he rose and answered his door.

Captain Pike and Mr.Scott greeted him as his door swished open. He walked into the hallway, wishing to keep their conversation from waking Kirk.

“Captain, Mr.Scott,” He greeted, “Mr. Kirk is sleeping so I would like to speak out here if the circumstance permits.”

Pike nodded, “That’s fine. Poor kids gonna need his rest for what’s about to come.”

“Actually,” Mr.Scott piped up, “I need to take some readings from the lads signal real quick, I believe that hole he was talking about might be active again. But I'll be as quiet as a lamb, not to wake him.”

Spock nodded but had to refrain himself from stepping in the Scotsman pathway. He did not like the idea of the man in his cabin alone with Kirk. But that was highly illogical and so he moved aside and allowed him to enter.

He turned back to Pike expectantly.

“Well, things are about to get a whole lot more complicated. Lieutenant Uhura was able to recover some video footage from the erased files of the USS Star Maker.” Pike handed Spock a PADD and pushed play. It was extremely grainy at first, nothing but moving shadows but it was evident two people were in a physical altercation. As the footage continued the image got clearer and revealed the fighters to be Captain Macintosh and Kirk. The Captain had his hands around Kirk’s throat, holding him against a wall before Kirk broke free and shoved the Captain to the ground, getting in a few good punches before he was thrown off. They both scrambled to their feet and Captain Mac swung out with his left hand. Kirk looked surprised as if he had been expecting the punch to come from his right side. He tried his best to compensate, but he took the punch to the jaw, he stumbled back and then lunged forward before the video footage turned grainy once again.

The footage did not show Kirk in a good light. “Has the Almrality been shown this footage?”

Pike nodded “Unfortunately. And if we rescue him, Kirk will be facing murder charges.”

He took the PADD back from Spock.

“I, uh, I have some other bad news.” he continued. “It turns out someone is trying to claim Kirk’s Starfleet life insurance policy.”

Spock tilted his head to the side.

“Life Insurance?”

“The claimant is demanding payment from Starfleet.”

“But Lieutenant Commander Kirk is not dead.”

Pike pursed his lips “I know, but the claimant is arguing that there’s no proof of life.”

Spock was even more confused. “I must disagree. We are clearly in communication with him.”

Pike looked at Spock and he could see that the Captain was obviously exhausted. “I know,” he sighed, “but due to these unusual circumstances, with Kirk being in a void and no one really knowing when or how we are going to get him out. Starfleet has to take their claim seriously. The claimant himself is coming to the Enterprise with an attorney to evaluate the situation and I cannot stop it. If the attorney is able to prove that Kirk is as good as dead then Starfleet has no option but to pay out his life insurance policy to the claimant, and we may be asked to give up on a rescue.”

Spock felt his blood run cold. “Surely there must be a regulation about this.”

Pike shook his head. “This is the first time we’ve ever had to deal with anything like this before. Hopefully, we can figure out how to rescue him before they get here. Admiral Sue is coming out to oversee the proceedings. They will all be here in 48hours.”

Spock’s mind was suddenly spinning, confronted with reality. It was as if the brief time he had spent with Kirk in his cabin were a dream of sorts and now time was catching up to him.

They needed to go about things logically, and overcome one thing at a time. Rescuing the man should be the predominant priority.

If they rescued the man first, then the insurance claimant would go away.  
Then they could worry about the murder charges.

“Captain, if I may ask, who is the claimant? I did not see any dependent or spouse on his file.”

Pike took a deep breath before answering. “His name is Frank Davis. He’s Kirk’s stepfather. How he heard of Kirk’s situation I have no clue. They do not have a very good relationship.” Pike pinched the bridge of his nose. 

Spock waited for more information but Pike seemed to be done talking. He acted like he wanted to share more but he was stopping himself from doing so.

Before Spock could question him further, his cabin door swished open and the Scotsman stepped out.

“I think I’ve got everything I needed Captain, the hole was indeed open so I was able to take some pictures with Kirk’s escape pod security camera on the outer hull. An’ sent it to my PADD.”

“And Kirk?” Pike asked.

“The lads still asleep.”

“Very good Mr. Scott.” Pike sighed and then stifled a yawn.

“Captain, may I suggest getting some rest?” Spock said watching his captain sway on his feet.

Pike nodded “That may be good advice for all of us. Mr. Scott, we have made accommodations for you and ensign Keesner if you would like to wind down for the evening.”

“Are you kiddin’? I think I’m gonna go take another tour of your engine room. She’s quite a beaut’. I might sign on if she gets re-outfitted. I think I have some ideas for plasma charges that would increase her speed.”

Pike nodded with a half-smile. “As you will, Mr. Scott, However, let’s just keep the focus on rescuing Kirk for the time being. Mr. Spock I will keep you updated. But please, just keep watching over Jim.”

Spock nodded. He could hear clear affection in Pike’s voice for Kirk, but it was paternal in nature. He had not understood before, but after having a conversation with the man himself he could now slightly understand why.

Kirk was different. Endearing.

They needed to save him. 

They parted company and Spock returned to his cabin.

He sat back down at his desk and looked at the monitor. Kirk had not moved.

There was so much going on and Kirk was only slightly aware of the possible murder charges. If he knew of the life insurance claim and possible desertion of his rescue it might be too much for the man. Spock decided then that he would refrain from telling him anything. It would be better this way. 

And so after looking at the Chronometer on his desk, he fell back into mediation and the night wore on without any further incidents.

————————

Jim dreams of something warm. 

It wasn’t so much of a dream with images, but rather sensations. Heat, softness, gentle touches. It was as if someone was actually there lying next to him. He could smell the remnants of burning incense clinging to the air and regulation Starfleet issued soap pressed to his nose. It was perfect.

But slowly over time, the sensations faded and he found himself awake. He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling of his pod.  
Oh, that’s right. The void.

Even though he felt rested, he wanted to go back to sleep. When was the last time he had such a restful night?

"Jim."

He jumped. "Jeez, you startled me."

“Forgive me. You seemed to be awake and so I wished to let you know I was still here.”

“Well, mission accomplished, '' he lightly teased. He grunted as he sat up, his back slightly protesting.

“Are you well?”

“Yeah,” He looked out the window and saw that the hole had reappeared. “Just a little stiff. These seats aren't really bedding worthy if you know what I mean.”

“Indeed.”

Jim rubbed his shoulders and brightened the pod's lights. “Anything change while I was asleep?”

There was a slight pause. “Negative.”

Kirk rubbed his eyes, and yawned “Alright,” He looked around, “Did you sleep?”

“Negative as I have stated before I do not require rest. Meditation is just as restorative as sleep.”

“So you meditated then?”

“Affirmative.”

“That’s good.”

There was a long pause. 

He had greatly enjoyed the conversation he had had with the Vulcan yesterday. Could they repeat that same experience?

“So, Mr. Spock, what should we talk about today while I await rescue? We could get to know each other a little better.”

“We held a lengthy discussion yesterday.”

“True but those were surface topics.”

“Surface topics?”

“Yes. Today is “get to know each other day,” catchy right?”

“I suppose. Although I recall you asking me questions when we first had made contact. Was that not a form of getting to know one another?”

“Yeah but those could only be answered with yes or no answers. Now, let’s start with the basics. Tell me anything and everything about yourself, what are your likes and dislikes? What’s your favorite color? Favorite food? Favorite whatever, And then when you run out of stuff like that to talk about, you can read to me. I don’t really care. It can be your favorite novel or even an Instruction manual of some kind.” He joked.

There was a long pause and Jim could just imagine a stuffy Vulcan sitting in his overflowing robes, affronted that he would have to talk about such personal things. He smiled to himself at the thought. But wait, what did this Vulcan look like? Was he old and stern-looking? Or young and stern-looking? Jim wondered. He sounded young, but Vulcan's ages were difficult to pin down. They lived such long lives.

Jim got up to hunt for a ration bar and perhaps a drink from his water tank. "I can understand if talking to me makes you feel uncomfortable.”

“Vulcans do not feel uncomfortable, and If it is what you require to pass the time, I will, of course, do so."

He smiled. "Okay then, go."

There was another pause. "I must admit, I am uncertain where to begin."

"Let's start off easy. What's your favorite color? and why?"

"I do not have a favorite color." Came the immediate reply.

Jim screwed up his face. "What do you mean you don't have a favorite color, everybody has a favorite color."

"Colors are simply the aspect of things that are caused by differing qualities of light being reflected or emitted by an object. They have no difference in importance. It is illogical to have a favorite."

“Well, now you're just talking nonsense. Of course, they have a difference in importance. When you think of red, you associate that color with things that are hot right? Same with blue, you think of things that are cool, like water or ice. It's completely logical to have a favorite color because you can associate it with something you like." 

There was a pause as the Vulcan considered this.

"An interesting and provoking thought." He finally said, "However, to associate a color with something I "like" as you say would mean assigning sentimental value to something, and sentimental value always implies that there are emotions involved. If you do something for sentimental reasons, you are doing it because of an emotional attachment. Vulcans do not have emotions. Therefore I can not have a favorite color."

Jim blinked as he comprehended the argument that had just been thrown back at him. He choked as he began to laugh. "My God Mr. Spock, I did not realize," he said between bouts of laughter, "that asking you your favorite color would turn into a philosophical debate. Although you do have a point, we humans are very sentimental. If you answer every question like this one, I might be rescued by the time we get to your favorite food!" 

"That would be preferable considering I do not have a favorite for any object. The same debate applies. Having a "favorite" of something implies sediment, which implies the decision is dictated by emotions, and Vulcans are not prone to emotion. Therefore we do not have favorites."

"Oh yeah? Everybody has favorites. I don't care what you say, they just do. Your favorite color is now blue. There, I solved your problem. No sentiment, just an assignment."

“And why the color blue?" 

Jim raised a brow, the Vulcans voice had the tiniest bit of amusement to it. 

"Because that's my favorite color, and if we are gonna become friends we should have at least something in common."

The Vulcan had no comment to this, and for the first time since being trapped in the void, Jim felt relaxed enough to smile and laugh. It occurred to him that just talking to Spock's was enough to make him forget most of his troubles. The amount of trust that implied should have alarmed him, but instead, he only felt a warm glow in his chest.

A few hours passed and they had continued to talk about random things but Jim quickly discovered out that gaining personal preferences from the Vulcan was like pulling teeth.

Did he like sweets? Vulcans did not consume sugar.

Did he like to hike? He did so on away missions.

What was his opinion on the philosophies of the Veltok society on Haplan II? He saw no reason to judge another culture. If they ate their elders then there was not much to say.

Jim realized that Spock was the type of person you needed to experience in a real-life scenario to gain a better understanding of who he was, rather than what the Vulcan was saying. Nevertheless, he enjoyed their conversations immensely and the Vulcan often made him smile. He was a lot… sassier than Jim thought a Vulcan could be. His certain responses to things had the cadences of hidden jokes and Jim appreciated the hell out of them.

As their conversation winded down, Jim’s throat was extremely dry. He could not remember a time when he had talked so much. He cleared his throat and got up for his third drink of water.

“Perhaps we should end the conversation here as it is clearly causing you excess thirst, and we do not want you to use a lot of your limited resources.”  
Jim frowned, “I guess you're right.” He said tying the water hose back up after having a few sips.

“However, you stated earlier that you wished for me to read to you. I can do so while you listen.”

Jim blinked in surprise, he really had been joking when he had said that but since the Vulcan was offering…

“What did you have in mind?”

“I am uncertain.”

“Well, what do you read when you want to relax?” he asked smiling unashamedly at the camera as he went to go sit back in his chair.

There was a long pause from the Vulcan’s end as if he was deciding something very serious.

“I believe you might enjoy the poet T’dune.” He finally answered, although for some reason Jim thought it sounded more like a confession to something that made him a little guilty. He didn’t know why he thought this, It wasn’t as if the Vulcan’s inflection had changed at all.

“I’ve never heard of them but sure, T’dune sounds great.”

“She is not well known and is not really taught in our society. Her father was a well known militant leader of his clan. He disowned her because of her emotional ways. She was cast out from the clan and wandered across Vulcan composing a book called. Yeht tor t'nash-veh khaf-spol. Or in standard, True to mine heart.”

Jim’s mouth hung open. “No way. That’s incredible. How do you know about her?”

“I came across her work while studying at Starfleet. Her book had never been translated from the old tongue to the new Vulcan standard. So I wrote a translation.”

“Why? Was it for a paper or assignment or something?”

“I did so because I wanted to.”

“So you are a soft Vulcan!”

“If that is how you wish to view me,” he remarked dryly, but Jim could swear he heard a subtle blush to his words.

He leaned back in his seat getting comfortable and gestured with his hand for Spock to continue.

There was another pause. “How would you prefer I read the work?”

“You can read it however you like. It will be nice to just listen to something.”

Spock began to read in Vulcan and Jim couldn't tell if it was the old tongue or the new Vulcan standard but the verses themselves flowed together harmoniously. 

He leaned fully back in his seat and closed his eyes, letting the timbre of Spock’s voice wash over him. Even though he sounded slightly awkward, there was something soothing about it.

He sat there and listened, to Spock read. There were short verses and overly long ones, but he could always tell the difference when Spock stared a new poem. Each one held a different feeling to them and Jim wasn’t certain if that was because of the way they were written or because of the way Spock himself was reading them. 

Soon though the tones of the poems began to shift. Sounding alomost...sultry.

Jim slowly became aware of how deep Spock's voice could be. 

How _sinful_ his voice could be.

This line of thinking shocked the hell out of him. Was it just because of the way he was reading the poems? Was it the poems themselves? He had never in his life thought a Vulcan could be sexy.

But the more Spock read, the more he began to feel his skin heat. Tightening. Tingling. 

He was becoming slightly aroused as he shifted in his seat. Was he absolutely insane?

It was just a Vulcan, _A VULCAN_ reading to him. He tried to ignore his body and focus on the words being spoken.

_T'nash-veh katra nam-tor ish-veh. kal-tor nash-veh ashaya du. K'diwa. K'diwa. k'diwa_

Jim’s stomach quivered and he felt a strange pull. It was like his body wanted to take him somewhere. He almost stood up. But based on his now drastic state of arousal that would be a terrible idea.

He could feel a body-wide blush run down his neck onto his chest. What was happening to him? Was this some sort of crush forming?

That would be insane. 

No, don’t do this to yourself, Jim. You’re just lonely and you don’t even really know him. 

But as he listened to the words heady words filling up his space it was like his brain was being filled with cotton, the now urgent pull was a pleasant luring one. Promising him something, if he could only find it. The hairs on the end of his arms stood and the tightening of his skin and pull within his chest became worse. 

Spock paused his reading, "Jim are you well?”

It was if a spell had broken and the pull had somehow snapped. He clutched at his head and gave a small hiss. “Yeah, I’m fine but I’m starting to feel a little dizzy though. It must be the concussion... I uh...I think I want to lay down for the rest of the evening. We can talk tomorrow or something when I’m a bit better.”

Jim dimmed his pod lights trying to hide his now completely flushed skin and laid down, purposely facing away from the camera. He felt a shiver run through him like an aftermath. 

What had just happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Mine soul be that one  
> Let me love you, my beloved.
> 
> My beloved, my beloved. My beloved.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone hang on

Spock shook his head at the computer screen, he had never in his life been tempted to roll his eyes, it was a human expression conveying exasperation and Vulcans were not supposed to feel exasperated. 

But with the current conversation he was having with the man on the monitor, he might just do so.

They were debating about the future of holodeck technology on Starships and Kirk was not too fond of his views.

“No, so what I’m saying is Humans require recreation in order to maintain healthy psychology! this has been scientifically proven!” Kirk said as he paced back and forth in his pod. He seemed full of energy and only got more restless as their debate continued.

“I am not arguing that point,” Spock said calmly, “My argument stems from the fact that humans, no matter how prolific they may be, tend to get idle when recreational activity is introduced into workplace settings.”

Kirk gave a hard laugh as he spun towards the camera, eyes full of mirth. “Are you calling humans lazy?” He accused with a blinding smile.

Spock tilted his head. Kirk seemed to be enjoying this debate with a little too much vigor. But if Spock was honest, he was enjoying the debate as well. Not many choose to go against Vulcans ' options in a debate. Most humans just got angry when a consensus could not be reached, but Kirk seemed to actually want to change his mind in a battle of wits.

“What about Vulcans?”

“I do not see-“

“You don’t think Vulcans who serve in Starfleet would enjoy a break from humans for a bit? That could be fixed with a holodeck program! It could be just for Vulcans to unwind, and relax.”

“Vulcans do not require diversions. It does not follow the pursuit of logic. We meditate when we want to restore balance, and “unwind” as you say.”

Kirk pursed his lips together as if he tasted something sour. “Okay, so I guess relaxing is not the angle to come at you with. What about your scientific mind Spock?”

Spock raised a brow. This was the first time Kirk had addressed him without the proper title of “Mr.” but he hadn’t seemed to notice.

“What about it?”

“Where is a place you always wanted to go but could never do so because of your inability to exist in such a space?”

Spock quickly followed his logic. “You believe that my scientific mind would be curious to visit such places.”

“Oh absolutely! Based on your paper about Mletin particles you are definitely curious about the universe around you. I know for a fact I have you pinned down!”

Spock's lips pressed into a thin line. Kirk was right. That was something that would pique his curiosity.

“Just think of the possibilities, Spock! To run on the red coral beaches of Griff Prime without a bio-suit! Or scale the toxic cliffs of papa’hult without a breathing apparatus! We could even walk through a nebula together!”

Spock’s heart stuttered in his side. The fact that Kirk possibly wanted to be around him after he was rescued was a pleasing thing to hear.

“I suppose that in those instances, I would concede that a Vulcan like myself would be interested in partaking in such activities.”

“Ah-Ha!” Kirk exclaimed, pointing at the camera.

“Although I still do not believe that Holodecks should be on Starships, they are nothing more than distractions for a mostly human crew. But I do not understand why you are so passionate about this. We will not know the outcome until holodeck technology comes to such fruition as you imagine it to be. You are thinking of many years, perhaps decades into the future, rendering this conversation quite pointless.”

Kirk threw his hands up in the air. “Pointless?! God Spock where’s your imagination?!"

“Vulcans do not-“

“Gah!” Kirk ran a hand through his disarrayed hair. “No! Just no! You’re impossible, you know that? You got me all riled up! I have no clue what to do with all this energy.” He shook his arms out and jogged in place.

“What do you normally do when you get riled up?” Spock asked tempering his amusement.

“I don’t know spar I guess? I bet you a fun sparring partner. Or I go jogging or play 3D chess.” Kirk stopped moving, “You’d make a fun chess partner, you know that? You’re quite the opponent. You probably would give me a run for my money in a game of chess. Do you play?”

Chess was something Spock excelled at. It was a game based on logic.

“I do.”

This news excited Kirk. “We should play! I’ve never played a Vulcan before!”

“We do not have a game board.”

Kirk began searching for something. “Not yet, but I can make one.”

Spock's brows lowered but he did not comment. He watched Kirk take the laser tool he had used to solder his makeshift water tank together and burn a chessboard into the pod floor.

An interesting solution.

“And the pieces?”

Kirk grinned and walked over to the pile of ration bars. “I replicated both chocolate and vanilla flavors. So take your pick. Do you want to be chocolate or vanilla?” He asked with a smirk breaking the bars into pieces. 

He made small bits for the pawns and marked the rest of the pieces with the soldering tool for the 2 rooks, 2 bishops, and 2 knights and then left the larger pieces for the king and queen.

“So?” Kirk asked. 

“We should not waste your resources like this.” 

Kirk rolled his eyes, “Objection noted, just pick a flavor, Spock.

“I suppose I will be vanilla.”

He sat on the floor and set the board up. “Let us play.”

Spock wondered if he would ever cease to be amazed by the man’s ingenuity. 

“G2 to G3.” He said and Kirk moved his piece. 

They began to play and soon Spock began to recount his skill in the game. Kirk was somehow superior, but his moves confused and puzzled Spock. 

They made no logical sense and yet they seemed to work perfectly in his favor. He could not gain the advantage no matter what he tried, though Kirk did not even seem to be trying any logical attempt to win. Yet he somehow was getting better with each move he made.

“Check,” Kirk announced. He had quieted down since their hearty debate and was now entirely focused on the game. “You almost had me,” He commented, “You are indeed a worthy opponent.” 

Spock leaned back in his chair as Jim reset the “board”. 

“You are a very skilled player,” Spock observed. 

Kirk shrugged.

“Are you rated?”

“I took a computer-based test once and beat it.”

“You defeated the computer? Such tests are designed to measure the skill of the player at increasing levels of difficulty. They are designed to be unwinnable.”

“I don’t believe in no-win scenarios,” He replied, with a sly grin.

“Do you not?” Spock wondered something else. “Have you heard of the Kobayashi Maru?”

“Is it going to shock you if I told you I beat that too? Although I had to take it three times.”

Spock felt his eyebrows raise to his hairline and he was glad he was in his cabin alone, his perfect mask had almost slipped. He personally had designed that test before leaving Starfleet academy and it was designed to be unbeatable. The Kobayashi Maru had no winners route. 

Was Kirk lying to him?

Turning to open a new window on his computer and he typed in ‘Starfleet Academy’ News concerning the Kobayashi Maru.

It was the very first article to come up.

It was true. The man had indeed defeated his test, and not only that, Starfleet had given him a commendation for original thinking. 

Why had he not been notified? 

But that simply could not be. In order to win something, there has to be an option for winning first. The test was designed to exploit one’s command capabilities. The very essence of the test was to lose no matter what. 

Spock wanted to voice his protest but as he looked back to the monitor he suddenly found himself very curious.

“Jim. May I ask you some questions about the test?”

“Sure. But since your vanilla, you have to move your piece first,” he said playfully.

“ A2 to A3. In order for you to have beat the test, you would have had to install and activate a subroutine to the programming code, thereby changing the conditions of the test.”

“Your point being?”

“In academic vernacular, you cheated,” Spock stated dryly, trying to keep as much accusation out of his voice as possible.

Kirk just gave a soft smile, “Let me ask you something Spock that I think you know the answer to. The test itself is a cheat, isn't it? It’s programmed it to be unwinnable.”

Kirk moved his bishop. 

“Your argument precludes the possibility of a no-win scenario. H2 to G3.”

“As I said before I don't believe in no-win scenarios.”

“Then, not only did you violate the rules, but you also failed to understand the principle lesson. B4 to B6.”

“Please, enlighten me.” Kirk moved his piece capturing Spock’s knight.

“You of all people should know, a Captain cannot cheat death.”

“I of all people?”

“Your father, Lieutenant George Kirk, assumed command of his vessel before being killed in action, did he not?”

“Hmm.” Kirk nodded, “This is true. I see you’ve read up on my file.” Kirk moved his rook across the board. 

“Furthermore, by cheating, you have failed to divine the purpose of the test. G5 to F5.”

“Which is?” Kirk raised an eyebrow not looking up from the board.

“The purpose is to experience fear. Fear in the face of certain death. To accept that fear, and maintain control of oneself and one's crew. This is a quality expected in every Starfleet captain.

“But if I’ve already faced that fear?”

Spock stopped short. 

Kirk leaned back, the game forgotten. “Look, Spock. I know I’m going to die someday,” he said calmly, “Maybe in this very pod. I’ve always accepted death as part of my life. But I won’t go down without a fight. If I can change the rules I will. The purpose of that test was to set an unwinnable scenario, but I recognized the fact that I could go outside of the test itself and change it, therefore my actions forced the whole test to become part of the scenario allowing me to win. My job as a future Starship Captain will always be to see to the safety of everyone, in any situation, and in order to do this, I will be forced again and again to change the rules of the “test”. This is a lesson I learned early on in my life.”

Spock reflected on Kirks’ words. “What do you mean you learned this early in life?” he asked carefully.

Kirk's face was calm and he blinked a few times, seemingly coming to a decision of sorts. 

“You’ve read my file. Did you notice a few years have been blocked out? Did firewalls come up when the computer ran my DNA? Well, there’s a reason, although I’m not really supposed to talk about this…” His voice faded and he looked away from the camera.

Spock waited, and a few seconds ticked by. 

“I’m one of Tarsus Nine,” Kirk finally admitted.

To say that Spock’s heart lurched to a stop in his side was an understatement.

“You were on Tarsus IV when the massacre happened?” his voice sounded even, but his breath seemed stolen from his lungs.

Kirk nodded looking anywhere but the camera. 

Spock knew of the massacre, everyone did. It was one of the most deadly and terrible things to happen in the quadrant in the past 50 years. But the Tarsus Nine were infamous. Nine children who had survived death by all odds when Governor Kodos fell back on eugenics philosophies, to save the portion of his colony, deeming the most desirable survive, and those he thought unable to do so, sentenced to death. 

After their rescue, the children's identities had been hidden from the public for their safety.

“You’ve seen my list of allergies on file. I was on the kill list. I was deemed not strong enough to live. But thanks to my aunt who shielded my body, I was able to run while she was shot to death in the town square.”

Spock listened intently. 

“I ran until I found an abandoned research center hidden in the hills, and stayed there for a few days until I heard a kid crying out for their mom in one of the surrounding fields of grass. She was only three.”

He watched as Kirk paused and blew out a breath. This was hard for him to talk about. 

Spock began to feel an ache in the back of his mind where the tug had been, but he could not just withdraw into his mind while Kirk was sharing something so important. He waved the feeling off.

“I didn’t want to, but I brought her back to my hideaway. Soon after that, I realized I was not the first kid to escape the initial massacre, and I began searching for more kids. Eventually going further and further into the city where Kodos men were waiting with guns, I was almost killed twice being gunned down while they tried to find survivors like me and the others. Each trip could have been my last, but I didn’t stop. In the end, I only found 8 kids and they were all younger than me. There was no food, no water, and though I did the best I could to scavenge, it was never enough. I had somehow assumed the role of the leader, and as that happened, I quickly realized I was the only thing between them and death. It was a month before Starfleet officers found us and we were rescued.”

Spock swallowed. He tried to imagine a younger kirk, fighting for survival while starving, and he could somehow easily picture it. Kirk was indeed a fighter. A survivor. 

“So you see,” electric blue eyes found the camera once again. “I’ve experienced fear. Fear in the face of certain death. I accepted that fear and maintained control of myself and my crew of 8. We should have all died. But we didn’t. And what I learned from that experience was that there are only no-win scenarios, when you give up.” 

“Fascinating,” Spock muttered. And it really was. 

Kirk's face slightly changed to an expression Spock could not identify.

“Tarsus IV was actually where I learned to play chess. I found an old booklet that talked about chess strategy in the research library and then when I had the game down, I began teaching the other children around me with a chessboard I found in a random cupboard, to keep us occupied. Soon though, I started beating them all the time, so no one ever really wanted to play with me. Even now it’s hard to find a partner who can match my skill set, so I usually just play the computer.”

There was a lull in their conversation before Spock found himself speaking. “ I recant what I said about you cheating on the test. I find myself able to admire someone who could learn a lesson so young. You do indeed clearly understand the purpose of the Kobayashi Maru.”

Kirk smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling in mirth. “Thanks, Spock.” 

Spock’s chest warmed considerably.

Kirk appeared to get caught up in his own thoughts for a moment before he yawned. “You know, Spock I’m feeling a bit tired…”

He climbed up from the floor and laid down on his makeshift bed.

“Would you um…” Jim seemed to stop short, his skin becoming pinker by the second. “Never mind.” He mumbled as he lowered the pod’s lights.

Spock instinctively knew what Kirk wanted.

————————————————-

Jim could feel himself blushing.

He wished he could run and hide, but all he could do was lower the pod's lights.

He could not believe he had shared that story with Spock. He had never shared that story with anyone, not even Bones. Sure Bones knew he had been on Tarsus IV, he was his doctor after all, but he never asked for the specifics and Jim had never volunteered them.

Spock had listened quietly, never interrupting and Jim had appreciated that.

_“I find myself able to admire someone who could learn a lesson so young.”_

Spock admired him. He placed his cool hands over his heated cheeks. He needed to stop feeling this way. It didn’t make any sense to have a crush like this.

Music began to float in the air as Spock began playing a deep and beautiful tune.

Jim shivered. He had been slightly embarrassed to ask Spock to play for him. It had brought him so much comfort the last time he had done so, and after talking about Tarsus IV, all he wanted was some form of comfort.

Although this song was different from the last one he had played for him. The last one had held a softer tone, almost like a lullaby. 

Innocent in nature.

This one wasn’t. 

Rich and full of complex notes, Jim closed his eyes as the image of long, slim, capable-looking fingers slid over the strings of an instrument. The thought caused goosebumps to breakout over his skin. His stomach flipped. The sound was like a purposeful caress down his spine causing his breath to come out in a shudder.

He clenched his teeth as the Vulcans fingers plucked each note.

Jim let the sound wash over him, the rich tune turning deeper and sinful in nature. Delicious to the senses. 

He bet Spock was just as deep and delicious as his music.

Ugh, he was pathetic.

Jim’s heart turned over in his chest as he once again tried to imagine what Spock looked like. 

He could be a million years old, he tried to tell himself, with gray hair and a gray beard and long robes for you to trip on. He tried to scare his feelings away with nonsense.

But at this point, Jim really didn't care. That should have scared him to death, but it didn’t.

So what if Spock was a million years old. He had never been a sugar baby before.

He held in a groan, already knowing where his body was trying to take him and he was helpless to stop the heat from unfurling in his abdomen. His efforts to ignore his lustful thoughts were easily falling to the wayside in the heat of the rising music. 

He felt like he was being lured in by some type of pull. The music pitied him and offered him comfort, though not the comfort he had in mind when he had asked Spock to play. No this was the type of comfort one could only find in bed with a partner.

Was he insane? 

His eyes were still closed but he cracked them slightly to glance in the way of the camera. He had to remind himself he was being watched. He couldn’t touch himself here. 

But if anyone was watching, it would be the one that inspired that very desire. 

Was that hot or not?

Not. That was not hot. 

The poor Vulcan never signed up for this. He didn’t need to see some stupid human lose control over his baser urges.

Jim was better than that.

Even if his stomach was flipping and fluttering uncontrollably.

He flexed his fingers against a flare of lust and balled his hands into fists. Folding his arms he trapped his hands under his pits. Willing his mind to think of something else, anything else so that his body would not feel so tight.

But his mind only seemed to be pulled in one direction.

He was screwed.


	10. Chapter 10

“Okay, so what you’re telling me is I shouldn’t have Mina’s partner be a Vulcan?” Jim asked, turning his attention to the camera.

“If your goal is to achieve a partner that will not under any circumstances fall prey to the Orion hormones of your main character, then I suggest changing the Vulcan into a female. Females are not susceptible. But males can be at certain times in their lives.”

“Certain times in their lives? What does that mean?” Jim asked leaning back from the control panel in the pilot chair.

He had woken up restless and slightly agitated due to last night’s musical performance from Spock. He was disappointed in himself. How could he have reacted that way to Spock's playing? Of course, he had on occasion joked with Bones that he would get so good at his own guitar playing that women would simply undress themselves when he played for them. 

He hadn’t known that it could actually happen, or that it would be him wanting to strip.

His dreams had somehow been worse. He had chased a mysterious figure back and forth across warm sand, but honestly, he didn’t know if he was at the beach or in a desert of some kind. The figure would not hold still and moved away from him every time he got close, almost like they didn’t know Jim was there. But every time Jim made contact with the figure, no matter how brief, a lance of pleasure shot through him. 

In the end, however, he never caught up to the figure and awoke unsatisfied.

And that was why he decided that he wanted to work on his little book project. He needed a good distraction from whatever was going on with him.

“It means, what it means,” Spock answered flatly.

Jim frowned. “Uh, okay…are you going to elaborate?”

The Vulcan remained silent. 

“I guess not.” Jim teased. 

Ugh. Vulcans. Jim refrained from rolling his eyes. Still secretive about everything, he thought to himself. But he wasn’t offended that Spock didn’t answer.

He didn’t think Spock could ever really offend him.

“Well that sucks, I wanted to use a male and call him Xon. But guess a female would be good too.”

“You have mentioned that before, how do you know that name?” Spock inquired, sounding genuinely interested.

Jim smiled. “It’s from a Vulcan legend. I'm surprised you don’t know that.”

“I know of the legend. However, it is very obscure. I was more curious about how you knew of such a tale.”

“Well, remember that library I told you about, the one where I found the book about chess? I discovered it while looking for other things to read to the kids. I was doing my best to keep us busy and our minds off of hunger.” Jim felt a twinge in his heart, but talking about this with Spock was somehow the easiest it had been for him in years. Therapist after therapist only ever angered him as a teen and he never wanted to talk about Tarsus IV. But he could trust Spock. Spock was comfort personified. There was just something about him...Something that told Jim he could be trusted with anything.  
He chalked the feeling up to instinct, and not the fact that Jim himself wanted to tell Spock everything.

“I must have read the legend over and over again to myself, apart from reading it to others. Though I haven’t read the legend since. The copy I read from was left behind on Tarsus IV. I tried finding a copy a few years later but I could never find one. I really did like it a lot. ”

“May I inquire why?”

Jim looked out his escape pods window. The hole had reappeared and he could see the pinpricks of stars on the other side.

“I guess...Well, I guess because the legend was about brothers.”

Jim swallowed. Pain suddenly in his throat as he did so. He could trust Spock with this. He could admit the very thing that he had not wanted to do as a kid. “Right before I was sent to live on Tarsus IV with my aunt and uncle my older brother Sam left me. He told me he could never be a Kirk living in our household and so he left. He left me in that house. Alone.” He blinked rapidly trying to find his words. “In the legend, Xon had his brother, Adun Karik. They did everything together. Fierce battles, glorious victories, crushing defeats, combined cleverness, and sacrifice! They had this cool bond they shared. They were both awesome warriors, unbeatable together. I always hoped that someday Sam might come back and save me, just like how Xon saved Adun Karik in the end.”

Spock said nothing, probably processing his very human desire.

Jim cleared his throat “What about you? How do you know the legend if it's very obscure?”

“I too read the legend as a child. My mother, who loved to read, thought I would enjoy such a tale, not knowing just what she was reading to me. She did so among many other books of fantasy.”

“Such as?” Jim raised his eyebrow.

“Alice in Wonderland.”

Jim laughed delightedly. _“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't.”_ He quoted looking out his pod window again.

He was in the perfect situation for such a quote. Trapped in a hole in space with no stars, planets or galaxies, playing chess with food, drinking water from the walls and falling for a Vulcan he had never even seen.

Nonsense indeed.

_“And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?”_ Spock finished his quote. It was recited in the dryest manner possible and yet Jim’s heart began to beat wildly in his chest.

His face heated and Jim bit the inside of his cheek. He felt the pull again, and it was stronger than ever.

He had to do it, he had to ask Spock out.

Yes, it was insane. Yes, it made no sense. Yes, he would be beyond crushed when he got turned down. 

But Jim needed to know without a doubt that nothing could happen between them. He felt like he was going to explode, from his built-up lust and other such feelings that had somehow accumulated.  
His stomach was a little uneasy. Butterflies? Nerves? Whatever.

When Spock rejected him he could bounce back. He always did. 

Hopefully, the Vulcan would do it quickly seeing the illogic of the entire situation. Why accept an invitation for a date, from a human male trapped in space, the chances of which, he would likely never escape from. That was three strikes right there.

But he just couldn’t ignore this pull he felt anymore, and so it needed to be dealt with. He needed to be rejected. For his own sanity. God, it was gonna hurt, he could already tell.

He scratched his cheek, his beard beginning to come in. He wished he didn’t look so scruffy for this, but it probably would help the Vulcan make his decision quicker.

“Spock, I think I’m done working on the book for today. How about a game of chess?” He asked, putting on the brightest demeanor possible. He had to hype himself up. Get ready to build up the nerve. He could do this.

“That would be adequate.” Came the reply.

———————-

Spock watched Jim set up the chessboard with his rations, but his mind was full of churning thoughts. The man’s attitude since waking had been curious. He had been quiet as if something had happened while he slept. But if Spock reflected on his own behavior from last night he felt great shame. He had only wanted to bring the man comfort, something he desperately sought after sharing what he had experienced on Tarsus IV. 

It had started out simple enough, he began to play a traditional musical piece for Jim about the desert sands of Vulcan. But as he played his mind seemed to become hazy. He felt the tug he had been experiencing for the past few days once again in the back of his mind and abruptly turned inward to look for it while retaining the ability to pluck at his instrument. 

He chased the pull but it seemed to disappear and he could not find where it had gone. 

Coming back to himself Spock was surprised to discover he was now playing a completely different tune. It was not something he recognized and yet he knew all the notes. It was deep and rich somehow. Bleeding his emotional state into the air. He checked the monitor to see if Jim had fallen asleep and the man was curled up in a tight ball facing away from the camera.

Finishing the piece he had felt a shudder run through him and quickly put the instrument aside. He began to meditate right away needing to understand his actions. He tried several times to enter a deep meditative state but Jim had been a restless sleeper, moaning every few minutes. The sounds drew Spock out every time just so he could check on him.

Last night had not been restful for either of them it seemed.

In addition, the mentions of the legend had intrigued Spock the first time Jim had mentioned the name, but now he knew the name meant something deeper to man. He understood what Kirk was feeling because he too had lost a sibling to their own choice, believing they could not live the way they wanted in their household. And it indeed hurt when they had left. His own half brother had rejected his logical upbringing and chose to embrace emotion like his ancestors. 

And although the legend had helped him in a way, Kirk had greatly misunderstood what the legend was about. It was not his fault. The translation of such a tale could not be transcribed to standard correctly. The term brother actually held a different meaning then Jim thought, and the bond they shared had not been a familial one. 

The two males had been mated and they had shared a T’hy’la Bond. This type of bond was extremely rare, so rare in fact most Vulcans believed it to be just that. A Legend. Two souls perfectly compatible in every way and when they joined they were made whole. At least, that is what the legend stated. 

Spock was not so sure such a thing could be possible. 

Scholars of Vulcan believed that with the way, marriage bonds had been arranged for hundreds of years, leaving no room for one to find their T’hy’la if they existed. No one in the scientific community had wanted to break their bonds to their mates or remain unbonded for that type of research. An unbonded Vulcan faced death when their affliction of Pon Farr arose within them and so it was best to keep the tradition of arranged bonds.

In this aspect, Spock hoped that his human half would save him from his time of mating. He had no bond and he had yet to experience his first Pon Farr. The healers on Vulcan suspected that if he had not experienced one by now, it would never happen.

“Okay, Spock your move,” Jim said, pulling him from his thoughts as he sat on his pod’s floor.

They fell into an easy game and began discussing things at random. 

Something warm was building between them as they talked.

His heart clenched in his side every time one of his comments made Kirk flash his brilliant smile towards the camera, clearly enjoying Spock’s company. 

He suddenly wanted to talk to Kirk in person. Face to face. Would they still have this easy nature between them? He let himself imagine being Kirk’s confidant. His friend.

What would that be like? It was a possibility, the man seemed to accept his presence easily enough, but he got the feeling Kirk was this way with everybody.

Spock was never prone to imaginings. They were futile and illogical. And yet he could not help but wonder if they might serve together in the future. He thought of them together on the Enterprises Bridge. Kirk sitting in the captain’s chair looking to him for information about a planet on their viewfinder.

He could be his second in command, standing next to the Captain’s chair when they received distress calls or interacted with passing vessels. The idea held an appeal that Spock could not deny, nor could he explain.

But Spock shook his head and refocused on their game of chocolate vs vanilla, or at least that’s what Kirk kept calling it.

He was particularly pleased with this game of chess. He had never come so close to defeating Kirk, who, for whatever reason was obviously distracted by something he was thinking about.

He was about to take Kirk’s Queen, “Bishop to-“

Jim picked up the vanilla piece and ate it.

He then smiled directly into the camera at Spock. How impertinent.

Spock blinked surprised and then gave a slight frown. Though he did not feel upset. “Jim, I am most certain that eating my piece is an illegal move.”

Kirk laughed. “Maybe, maybe not. I guess we’ll never know.” He shrugged appearing to be the very picture of innocence while his incriminating puffed cheeks held food.

“You most certainly know.” 

Kirk’s face grew soft as he continued to chew and smile. Spock recognized the expression immediately. It was one he had seen reflected on his mother’s face countless times whenever she looked at his father. 

Adoration. 

Spock’s chest warmed to an unhealthy degree, his cheeks heating to their own accord. He could not help but bask in Jim’s smile and had to control an amused twitch of his lips at the man’s antics. He liked the thought of being special to Kirk, though he had never tried to gain any human’s favor before. Was he doing so correctly?

“Okay, okay fine. You win” Kirk admitted popping one of his own chess “pieces” into his mouth and leaned back on his elbows. He stared at the camera for a long time his mood slightly shifting from one of lightheartedness to nervousness and Spock could tell he was gathering his thoughts together.

“Spock, can I ask you something?”

“That has never stopped you before.” He replied.

Kirk smiled but Spock could detect slight anxiety in the way he bit his lip. This grabbed Spock’s attention. He did not like to see the man anxious.

“Are we like...friends?”

It took a moment for Spock to answer. The very thing he had been secretly hoping for was about to be confirmed. “Traditionally Vulcans do not have friends,” he answered, watching Jim’s face fall immediately. “But I personally consider our relationship to fit in that category.” He continued.

He could see that Jim’s skin was taking on a faint pink hue, and noticed he could not quite look into the camera. He reached up to place a hand on the back of his neck in a bashful manner, “I’m glad to hear that, I consider us friends too. You’re unique, and I enjoy talking with you, even when we mostly verbally spar with each other. You make me think about things I normally wouldn’t consider and I like hearing your different points of view on multiple topics. Most of the time I don’t really care about other people’s options but overall the last few days I can’t help wondering what your options are on everything.”

His comments did something ridiculous to Spock’s chest and he felt his pulse pick up speed, where was he going with this?

“That being said, I particularly want to know your opinion on something else. Um, do you think you would ever consider us more than-“

The sound of men screaming at each other suddenly interrupted Kirk and he stopped mid-sentence. “What’s that? What’s happening?”

The commotion was coming from directly outside of his cabin now and sounded like a fight. “I do not know.” 

Before Spock could get up to investigate the shouting became clear sentences. 

“He shouldn’t even be here! I want him thrown off the ship.” Shouted a very angry voice.

“I have every right to be here! Just ask my _attorney!_ ” Shouted a deeper, older voice that sounded just as angry.

Spock looked to the monitor and Kirk’s head was angled in a way that suggested he could hear the commotion but could not understand what was being said.

His door beeped.

Spock got up from this desk. “Enter.”

As soon as his doors swished open several people filed in along with Captain Pike, Admiral Sue and a security detail trying their best to keep the two men apart.

One man, tall and clean cut with his hair pushed to the side, snarled as soon as he entered the cabin. “Where's Jim! I demand to see him right now!”

“Dr. McCoy, please, control yourself,” Pike said in a stern tone as he came from behind the small crowd to the forefront of the gathering. 

The man scoffed in an unfriendly manner, and his angry eyes swept over the room. He began to struggle with his  
Security detail. “Get off of me! I’m fine! I'm in control! I don’t even care about that bastard any more! I just wanta see Jim!”

“Bones?” Kirk asked incredulously. 

The man’s head snapped to attention, looking around the room. “Jim! Kid where are you!”

Kirk laughed, “That's a good question!” He answered.

Spock studied the angry man Pike had referred to as Dr. McCoy. He was breathing hard and stepped towards the monitor as if suddenly figuring out Kirks’s voice was coming from the computer.

Based on Kirk’s reaction he knew the man as Bones.

He gave Spock a quick glance but otherwise ignored him as he reached the computer screen. 

“Jim! What hell kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into?! Screamed the man at the monitor.

Spock was slightly appalled at his demeanor but Kirk just remained smiling.

“Oh, the normal kind of trouble I suppose, lost in space, wanted for murder, you know, the usual.”

“Kid don’t play with me I’m beyond worried sick!”

The older looking man, who had stayed back for the entire interaction suddenly spoke up.

“Yes Jimmy, you have us all so worried sick.”

Spock gave a sideways glance at Kirk through the monitor and saw a startling transformation on his face in reaction to the new voice. 

His expression turned from one of delight to a hard controlled mask. 

He looked unrecognizable.

He then did something that sent a spike of fear so cold through Spock’s veins it felt like his blood turned to ice. 

Kirk walked over to his communicator, the one transmitting his signal and shut it closed, cutting off all connections. 

Camera and everything.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you guys for such kind and wonderful comments! They truly, truly mean the world. In response to some messages about my picture sizes being too large, I hear you loud and clear I'm sure reading my chapters on a phone format must be annoying. So I will try my best and resize them but, please be a bit patient with me. I don't even know what I'm doing, I swear.
> 
> Just a few notes to this chapter.
> 
> *mentions of child abuse, but nothing graphic or sexual in nature. As if that makes it any better.
> 
> * I have always been fascinated with Katras and how they can be transferred to different minds.

Spock blinked in utter shock at the blank monitor in front of him.

No one in the room moved. No one breathed.

He suddenly felt an ugly emotion roll through him that was so ferocious, he barely contained it. Barely.

“What just happened? Where’s Jim?!” The doctor cried confused.

“Remove yourselves from my quarters,” Spock spoke aloud to the room turning sharply to the group taking up space in his cabin. “Now.” He hissed through pinched lips.

There was a beat of silence where everyone stared at him in shock, no doubt having never seen a Vulcan emote emotion in their lives.

A tremor went through the room and every human was suddenly aware that they were in the presence of a powerful species.

The older man in the denim jacket stepped forward with a deep frown on his face, “But-“

Spock turned his razor-sharp eyes onto the man. He was the one who caused Kirk to cut communication. 

He could feel his eyes go black with barely concealed rage, and the older man blanched white in return.

“Leave.” He spit.

Everyone in the room seemed frozen until Pike nodded to the security officers who had also turned white looking at their commanding officer. They quickly grabbed the two men and inelegantly pulled back to the hall. “Take them to conference room C,” Pike ordered. He looked back at Spock.

“Jim?”

Spock shook his head, fear had turned his chest cold. “I do not know.”

“Are you...”

Spock held up his hand to stop Pike's question. “I will do everything in my power to reconnect us. Send for Mr. Scott immediately. Now please Captain, leave my cabin.” His breath felt stolen from his throat and he had to concentrate to get the words out.

Pike looked like he wanted to say something but instead, he nodded and left.

As soon as his cabin doors swished closed, there was a beat of silence before Spock turned and punched his wall, denting it inward. His eyes widened in surprise at his own actions and then suddenly he was leaning against that same wall to hold him up, taking long shaky breaths. 

He had been taught from a young age how to control his emotions so they would not control him...and yet what he was feeling was nothing like anything he had ever felt before.

What was happening to him? Why was he reacting like this? He felt hot and cold and could not control the rate of his heartbeat. Was he going to be ill?

His mind raced as he tried to comprehend Kirk’s actions 

How could-

Why would-

Why would Jim do such an illogical thing? Cutting off their connection was too risky at this point. There was now no guarantee that they could ever reconnect the device.

It...hurt.

It hurt, illogically so, with a sharp pain in his side and a certain pressure on his chest. How could Kirk just cut off contact like that? Did he not care for the repercussions? Did he not care for how his actions would affect his friend? He had called Spock his friend. 

Was the man lost to him?

Would he ever see those unforgettable blue eyes ever again?

An unbearable tremor wracked his body for a moment.

Spock knew he needed to calm himself down, but the memory of Jim’s face hardening raised the hairs on the back of his neck. 

His face. The way his bright eyes had dimmed, his ever-present smile slipping away and replaced with a hardened mask. That was not his Jim. 

His Jim.

The very thought of someone stealing the humans' smile enraged him. 

Spock stared at the blank monitor and then at the dead device. He should begin to try and re-establish contact with him immediately. The very thought of never hearing Jim’s voice again was too much for him to even consider, and that fact itself scared him beyond reason. Beyond logic. 

When had Spock started to care so deeply for him? 

The man had been such a sudden presence in his life that Spock had not considered thoroughly every aspect of their relationship, but now, he could see that his emotions for the man ran deeper than he realized. The instant Jim had cut the transmission it had become evident.

Spock reached for the device but stayed his hand as he saw the slight shaking in his fingers.

If he grabbed the device, would he accidentally crush it?

He pulled back. He had always performed well under duress in the past but losing Jim had done something to him. He could not perform his duties. He needed to recenter himself immediately to restore his weakened mental shields, therefore meditation was only logical. 

This doorbell beeped.

“Enter.” He heard himself say, but he did not recognize his own voice.

Mr. Scott along with Ensign Keesner came in as soon as the doors swished open.

“Mr. Spock! Captain Pike told me what happened an’ I'm here to see if I can help.”

Spock nodded at Mr.Scott but did not move. 

“Er...Mr. Spock are you alright?”

He blinked at the Scotsman as if the Universal translator had just broken. 

No, he was not alright.

Mr. Scott walked forward towards him but his eyes seemed to find the dent in his wall, where a clear outline of his fist was imprinted. He slightly jumped in surprise but did not say anything.

His eyes slid over to the ensign, unsure of what to do.

Spock could help him with that.

“Mr. Scott. If you and ensign Keenser could look at reconnecting the signal I am in need of meditation. I- I am emotionally compromised.”

“Oh, er, sure. You do what you need Sir. I’ll just take a look then.” He turned away a bit hesitant and went to the computer, but Spock picked up his whispered comment to the ensign. “Poor Vulcan looks devastated.”

Spock turned to the furthest corner of his cabin and sat down ignoring his normal place of meditation. He did not lower his cabin lights, or ignite his incense. He simply folded his legs and closed his eyes.

He had not meditated properly in days because of his need to be there for Jim, and it had taken its toll. No matter how badly he wanted to help Mr. Scott began working on a way to reconnect to Jim he needed to meditate first. Clearing his mind would be detrimental if he was to succeed in the task.

He began to retrieve into the first stages of meditation. It was... difficult to say the least. His mind would not calm.

Spock forced himself to focus and control his respiratory system. One breath at a time. Once that had been accomplished he began to fall into a deeper level of meditation. He closed off the physical world and began making sense of the workings of his mind.

His mental mind space was chaos. 

The shields that contained his feelings were struggling to hold and he could not allow that.

Carefully he began to analyze each of the feelings that he had felt when Jim had cut contact. Fear had been his first response. All-consuming fear. He had not felt fear in such a way for a very long time. Anger, longing, and frustration came next. He spent time in justifying the root of each emotion, all the while, accepting his human deficiency for struggling with such unwarranted emotions. If he had been a full-blooded Vulcan he would not need the time to take a pause to meditate. He would be helping Mr. Scott already.

But instead, he was doing this.

After organizing and compartmentalizing each emotion he ran through them again, but this time while he was doing so, he felt something new.

The pull.

He immediately sought after it, determined to discover where it was coming from.

He gave himself a corporeal form and began walking through his mindscape.

He searched for a bit before he realized it was coming from the area where he kept his bonds. He had already searched there but he began to do so again. 

His parents' bonds remained unchanged. Dancing about unhindered but the pull was not there.

He then pulled the area where T’pings bond had been kept to the forefront of his mind and froze. The ground was no longer black and scorched. It looked newly formed, and slightly raw from signs of healing.

He stepped forward and immediately felt the pull. Yes. This was where it was coming from.

He looked about trying to see if anything was there, but nothing obvious stuck out.

He then felt the pull again, and this time it felt insistent as if trying to grab his attention.

It was then he noticed a thin strand. Fragile. Barely there like spider silk. Spock would have almost missed it entirely if It had not shimmered gold as it danced in his mind.

Spock concentrated on it and the strand responded as if it held a sentience. It glowed slightly and came closer to his consciousness and stopped as if waiting for him to do something. Spock examined it carefully in his mind's eye, not wanting to get too close, possibly scaring it away.

It was a... _bond._

Shock rolled through his system.

The few bonds that were established within him were those of close familial clan members. The strongest being his mother and father in particular, but this bond looked different from others he had seen. It behaved differently. It wanted him.

He was struggling to comprehend what was happening. Bonds did not want. They were simply bonds, connections to other people. But this bond was unique. It shimmered and twisted as if caught in a light breeze waiting for him to respond to its enticing movements. 

It was beautiful.

Spock reached for the strand and it began to glow warm and happy, emanating a feeling that was familiar he stayed his hand. 

With swift and startling understanding something sparked in his mind and he realized exactly who this was. 

but...how? 

They had never touched, never met, they did not even know each other very well.

They were nothing but voices in the dark. 

And yet as he inspected it, he felt the pull.

It really was him. 

Jim’s mind was reaching out to him and it wanted to take him somewhere.

Curious, he followed the dancing strand and it led him to a new area that had somehow formed in his mind. His mental landscape was normally simple and clean. But this area was full of sand. Small dunes of bright red and orange hills surrounded him as if he were wandering through one of his home planet's famous deserts.

His surprise was short-lived however because the strand of gold did not stop to wait from him and he had to quickly jog to keep up. It led him to an area where the sand tapered off into nothingness, but the strand did not stop.

It grew more prominent. Now thick as a blade of grass glowing like a lantern lighting his way. As it moved forward Spock realized it was more than just a strand, it was a rope. No, not a rope. A road?

He walked alongside the road until it led to a gaping chasm. 

Blacker and more ominous then Spock thought possible, he glanced down and then across the chasm. The bond was making a bridge leading into another place he could not see.

He stepped forward to walk on the bridge and suddenly gasped. His very Katra seemed to separate itself from his imagined corporal form. He stepped back in fear. 

If he went forward, would his Katra leave his body?

The bond glowed impatiently at him.

He looked across the black chasm. Jim’s mind was on the other side. He knew it.

He stepped forward again and he somehow separated. His form was nothing but silver-blue light as he traveled across the bond. And the bond was thrilled. It emitted a sound that was a low humming noise and Spock recognized the tune. It had been the one he had played for Jim on his lyre.

As he reached the other side he was sucked in and suddenly his corporal form was once more.

He looked around aware that he was no longer in his own mind but Jim’s. 

And he was amazed at what greeted him.

A vast expanse of galaxies spiraled slowly above him, forming and crashing into one another. Celestial pieces fell all around him, shooting off twinkling showers of stars fading in the distance. It was bright. Nothing like the blackness of space.

It was exhilarating. 

Spock’s mind was well ordered, or at least it would seem that way to a human being. Another Vulcan would no doubt find the swirling undercurrents of emotion distasteful.

But Jim's mind was dynamic.

Emotions chased themselves in sparkling displays and the echoes of memories could be heard bouncing all around him. To his surprise the chaos was charming. He would have thought such a place would be too overwhelming for him, but it was not. The myriad of feelings that he picked up from Jim’s mind was fascinating. He was beginning to share in emotions he did not know could exist in cohabitation. One such feeling was a happy, sad mix that he could not explain. He had never been happy, sad. How did such an emotion come about? How was it born? 

Spock stepped forward and other emotions greeted him, eagerly as if they wanted to reveal themselves to him on purpose. Some were crystal clear and others were muddied and a bit dull, which made sense considering that this man was very intelligent, and had a complex personality.

But Spock did not see the very essence of Jim. He instantly cast his senses outward, trying to pinpoint where in the man's mind he might be located. 

If he could somehow communicate with him. Made sure he was all right then perhaps they would not need the signal to his escape pod. They could communicate this way.

He felt a strong tug, similar to the one he had in his own mind and it pulled him forward. The emotions parted for him and he was left alone.

It was a bit disorienting at first. Traversing a mindscape that was not his own, but Spock could not have stopped himself if he had even wanted to. Finding Jim was the most important thing and his instincts knew what to do even if Spock himself did not.

Spock followed the tug deeper into the mind, the landscape ever-changing around him. As he delved further, Jim's mind revealed many new things to him that became more intricate, richer, enticing, warm, and comforting. It was perfect. It was everything his mind was not, and yet wanted to be.

It would be hard to leave.

_“Captain Mac stop!”_

Spock’s head snapped to the side. That was Jim's voice.

_“Let go of me!”_ He cried angrily. _“No, No! Stop!”_ His voice took on a frightened edge.

At Jim’s distressed voice, Spock immediately wanted to come to his aid but he could not. This was not his own mind, no matter how comfortable it was. He did not have permission to view any memories, and so, harder than he thought possible Spock turned away. He continued to look for Jim.

He walked for a while but he seemed to become lost. The tug still held him fast but it had led him to some sort of mental wall.

“Are you looking for him?”

Spock turned in surprise at hearing another’s voice.

A lone child stood a few feet away from him. He was thin and a bit lanky with light blond hair, tossed about his head as if he had just got done running. His expression held wisdom that most human children lacked and one of his clear blue eyes was rimmed with a black bruise.

“Are you referring to Jim?”

The boy nodded.

Spock approached the figure and examined him.

“You do not seem to be a memory.”

“Good eye genius.” The boy snickered in response.

The boy gave him a daring smile that Spock immediately recognized. This seemed to be a younger version of Jim.

“Come on I’ll take you to him.”

He began to lead Spock deeper into the expanse, pushing through the barrier Spock had not been able to pass through a few moments before.

“My name’s James, but you can call me Tiberius.” He said looking up at the Vulcan.

“Tiberius?”

“Yeah, it sounds way cooler than James! Sounds like a tiger!” He made claws with his hands and gnashed his teeth.

Spock noticed his lips were split in two different places and his chin was scraped up with scabs. 

“Would you not want to be called Jim?” He asked.

The boy scrunched up his nose. “Jim? No. It’s too close to Jimmy.” The boy folded his arms trying to look serious and Spock observed his knuckles were scratched up and had red marks across his arms.

“May I ask what caused your abrasions?”

The boy gave him a sideways glance, “You can see them huh? Most adults ignore them. You seem different though. I like you.”

“Why would adults ignore such blatant markings?”

“Adults only see what they want to see. I’m a bad kid, most assume I get them from fights.”

“Your wounds are defensive.”

The boy looked down at one of his arms. The clear marking of a large palm print was outlined on his skin.

“How can you tell?” He asked curiously.

“Because I suffered similar markings when I was younger. Vulcan children used to taunt me, trying to invoke an emotional reaction.”

“And did they?”

“Indeed. But once I began the fight I realized it was many against one.”

“What did the adults do?”

“They called me illogical.”

“Did they call you a bad kid?”

“They called me undisciplined. From what I perceive, your wounds are not from other children your size, for they would be incapable of inflicting this much damage.”

The boy stopped and cocked his head up at Spock. “I wish everyone was like you.” He finally said. “But I’m a bad kid Spock. Why else would someone treat me this way?”

Spock suddenly saw himself reflected in the boy's face. 

He had often had these same thoughts as a child and when he had sat alone in his room with green blood dried on his lip, he wondered if he too was a bad child. Why else would others logically treat him this way?

Spock blinked and suddenly a younger, smaller version of himself stood next to the blonde-haired boy. He stood straight with his hands laced behind his back, having light green bruises and dried blood on his lips. 

It was just how Spock remembered.

He supposed now that his Katra was inside of Jim he was unintentionally sharing his parts of himself.

“He’s in there.” The boy abruptly said pointing to a doorway Spock had not seen them approach. “He goes there whenever he really hates himself.”

Spock nodded to the boy. “Thank you.”

The boy's blue eyes searched him for a moment. “I’m glad he has you.” He commented before turning away.

“Come on Spock let’s go play!” He cried to the younger version of himself as if he had always existed.

“Vulcans do not play.” He heard his tiny voice reply, but the younger version of himself followed the boy anyway.

Spock did not know what to make of this, but he had other pressing matters to attend too.

He walked through the doorway and was greeted by a blindingly white room and there at the very center sat Jim on a white bench. Nothing seemed to exist anywhere but Jim and the bench, no floor, no ceiling, no nothing.

An intense relief flooded through Spock to the sight. He had found him.

“Jim?”

The man did not react.

“Jim?” he asked again, stepping forward.

Jim raised his head and gazed blearily at Spock. 

It was then he realized the man was shaking with emotion. Tears were dripping off his cheeks and into his light stubble on his chin. He was no longer dressed in his science uniform, but rather in a white T-shirt and simple jeans.

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” He said in a watery voice.

“ Jim, can you see me? Sense my presence?” Spock asked as he approached. 

“Yeah, it would be weird if I couldn’t see my own fantasy.”

“Jim I am not a product of your imaginings,” Spock commented with a frown.

“Damn I made you hot. I always did have a great imagination.” He continued as if Spock hadn’t spoken.

“Jim. I am really here.”

Jim looked away from him, ignoring him once again. “Sure you are.” he murmured as fresh tears began to slide down his cheeks. “Sure you are,” he repeated.

Spock was uncertain how much of this Jim was understanding. Humans rarely grasped the concept of mental mindscapes and the abilities of Vulcans to traverse them. 

He walked up to Jim and placed a hand on his shoulder. Jim jumped at the contact.

“Wow, you feel so real.” His voice was now so full of warmth and adoration that Spock felt his knees go weak, and before he knew it Jim had pulled him close and buried his head against his stomach.

“God you feel wonderful.”

“Jim, listen to me. We do not have time for this; we need to re-establish contact with each other out in the real world.”

“Spock are you...actually angry with me?” He looked up Spock's chest and into his eyes. “You are, I can feel it somehow. You’re angry with me.”

“I was... I am concerned for your safety. You cut off contact knowing that we may not be able to establish contact again. You endangered yourself even further.”

“Yeah I know, I shouldn’t have done it.”

“It was indeed foolish.”

He noticed that Jim’s eyes had softened, and a minuscule smile had begun to form on his lips, but Spock still noticed the lines of concern visible on his face.

“Is he...is he still there?”

“Who?”

“My stepfather Frank, is he still there?” 

“Yes he is still aboard the Enterprise but I had him removed from my cabin.”

“Oh.” Was all he said and he pulled Spock tighter against him.

“Jim, why did you cut contact.”

“I— I got scared.”

“Of your Stepfather?” 

Jim nodded his head. 

Spock was not so ignorant as to guess who had put those markings on Jim’s younger self. It was evident that Jim had been the victim of abuse from his stepfather, the repercussions of which still affected him to this day.

“Jim, he is not here now. I am here. We need to find a way for you to understand that this is real.”

Jim's voice dwindled to barely a whisper as if he were speaking to himself. “You're not real though, but I wish you were.” 

Spock's heart clenched at Jim's sincere plea.“Jim if you will permit it, let me share in your burdens so that you will not have to carry them on your own. Show me what troubles you.” Asking to see his memories was extremely forward for a Vulcan to do, but Spock hoped to be given access, and possibly ease the emotions the human had attached to them.

Jim gave a very soft smile. “That’s kind of you Spock but trust me, you don’t want to share them.”

The sound of a man screaming and the cries of children briefly warbled throughout the space but they were quickly hidden by Jim.

“All I’ve ever been is a burden on people. I was a burden on my mom, on my brother, my aunt, and uncle, Bones, Pike, even you. Honestly, if I died in this void I would be one less burden on people.”

“Jim. Stop these thoughts. You are not a burden, especially to those who are fighting so hard to rescue you. You are not a burden, even to me. But while you yourself are not a burden you carry burdens. You can trust me, Jim. I am here to help you.”

“I really want to.”

Spock could feel that he really did, but he was struggling to admit that to himself.

“Jim. I must confess something I have recently become aware of.” 

Jim’s blue eyes found him, soft, full of affection and fascination. “What?”

“We share a bond. It is unique in structure and has allowed me to cross the vastness of space and enter your mind. I was in doubt of such an existence, but I believe we share a T’hy’la bond.”

“You lost me, Spock.”

“Remember the legend you read, the one about Xon and Adun Karik? They shared such a bond. They are not brothers in the sense that you believed, they were a mated pair. T’hy’la can not be translated into Standard properly. Its meaning encompasses friend, brother, and lover.”

“What does that mean?”

“The bond is said to be shared between two souls perfectly compatible in every way and when they are joined they are made whole. At least, that is my understanding.”

“Joined? Like joined together? Is that why your voice makes me want to jump your bones?”

“I am unfamiliar with that expression.”

Jim tugged his head down and connected their lips.

Spock had never been kissed the human way before. He had been witness to it several times in his life, hidden crew members in the engine room, humans on campus back at the Academy, even his own mother, and father when they had believed they were alone.

Now it was his turn and it felt amazing. 

His reaction was instinctive, he closed his eyes and kissed Jim back. It was a chaste kiss, little more than their lips being pressed together, but fire was pooling low in Spock's abdomen, like liquid heat, and coiling between his legs in a way quite alien to him.

Jim seemed to be aware of this somehow and he deepened the kiss, almost in a hungry manner. Lips moved against his lips and Jim clutched at his back, as if he could pull Spock closer. Soft, muted tones began to sing around them and Spock opened his eyes pulling away much to Jim’s chagrin.

Gold and blue colors had begun to flare around them but were beginning to fade now that they had stopped kissing.

Jim did not loosen his grip for a moment, and Spock turned back to find Jim nesting himself under his chin.

“I think I love you, Spock.” He whispered as if the very thought scared him.

Spock laid his head on Jim’s and continued to hold him close.

“It's insane! I know it's insane! But I feel like I could love you in every world, every universe, in every form, shape, or version. Nothing, not even death itself, could change that. Isn’t that terrifying?”

“T'hy'la,” Spock breathed. “That is what you are to me. I have been constantly confused by this unknown feeling in my mind and it was you all along. You have been calling to me ever since we first met, ever since I saw your face in your ID photograph.”

Distressed. Jim was beginning to feel distressed.

“This sucks I’m never going to see you, am I? I finally found someone who honestly feels like...like you were made for me. Like you could be a part of myself.”

Spock kissed Jim’s forehead trying to soothe him. It was so forward he could never imagine doing something like that outside of their minds. “Do not worry. We will rescue you. Were you not the one who talked of no-win scenarios?”

Jim pushed up into the kiss wanting more of Spock's lips on his forehead and Spock could feel Jim trying to gain comfort from such action. His distress was still very prominent though and his mind was beginning to race too fast for Spock to make any sense of his thoughts and after a moment Jim’s panic broke to the surface.

He gave a harsh laugh, “But even if I am rescued by some miracle, this is just a stupid dream. I made it up! There’s no way you’d want to be with me in real life. You’re a Vulcan for hell’s sake. Do Vulcans even swing that way? I’ve never seen a same-gendered pair. Of course, Vulcans barely tolerate humans as it is! I guess we could be friends… would you still want to be my friend? Until you found someone else…” a spike of pain lanced through both of their minds. “ I could support that. I could.”

Spock could tell that was a blatant lie. His mind hid nothing.

Jim’s mind was beginning to churn in turmoil once again.

“It is all right, Jim,” Spock breathed softly into his hair. “I will find you and we can be together.”

“No! This...This isn't real!” Spock felt his Katra beginning to slip from Jim’s hold.

“Wait, Jim, stop this! You do not understand what you are doing!”

“No! Leave me alone!”

Spock was suddenly pushed back with immense force, shooting across Jim’s mindscape and expelled across the golden bridge of the bond and back into his own mind.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to make the artwork fit! I did my best to slim the original down! but most of the artwork is already made and I'm trying to make the proper editing for size where I can! Please bear with me you lovely people.

Jim had a headache. 

He clutched at his head and groaned into his makeshift bed.

The ache originated in the base of his skull and spread steadily throughout my entire body, or so it seemed.

He rolled over onto his side, dry heaving slightly. His eyes were clamped closed and he struggled to open them. He massaged his temples furiously.

He wasn’t sure what brought this on. Stress. It was probably stress.

How could he have cut contact like that? He just sabotaged his only chance for survival. What did Spock think?

What _could_ Spock think?

He had wanted Spock to reject him so that he could get over his little crush, and save their budding friendship building between them. 

Spock who was smart, and played chess, and talked about mletin particles.

And Spock had considered him a friend! 

He was kind of honored that a Vulcan would choose to be his friend, but he had let fear override his decision-making skills.

Now he would be lucky if there was any friendship left between them after his little stunt.

What was wrong with him? 

He should have continued therapy like Bones had said, but he thought he was over this.

Over this fear, he held within himself.

He told himself countless times, again and again, that if he wanted to be a good captain, to protect lives, and explore the universe he couldn’t let fear rule his life.

But he couldn’t help it. The moment he had heard Frank's voice, he had let cold fear wrap its way around his chest until it suffocated him. It was like he suddenly regressed back to being a scrawny kid again, hiding in the family barn from one of his drunken tirades. 

He thought after driving the old man’s car off of a cliff he had shown him who was the boss. Feeling thrilled that he had destroyed something the man cared so much about. But he didn’t know that the act would get him sent to his aunt and uncle's house on Tarsus IV.

Jim felt a spike of pain throb in his skull.

He needed a hypo. He hated them, but right now he needed one.

He tried to sit up, but it brought on immediate nausea.

Must. Get. Hypospray.

He rolled off the seats and onto the pod floor. The cool metal under his body felt good, but the pod was way too bright. Even though his tightly shut eyes, the whiteness penetrated through his eyelids, making the pain sharper and deeper inside his head. 

“Computers lights at 30%”

The computer beeped and it was significantly dimmer.

He crawled to the medical box he had shoved underneath one of the first seats and pulled out a hypospray. Pressing it to his neck he let out a sigh as he could feel the medicine pump into his system.

The pain was still kind of there but it was no longer crippling if he kept still and quiet in the dark, it was almost bearable, almost.

He had no idea how long he lay there, and he began to drift to sleep still lying on the floor.

He dreamed of the Vulcan. At least he thought he did. The dream was kind of blurry and he couldn't really make out how he had imagined Spock. The Vulcan was saying things to him that didn't make any sense, but that didn't really matter. The dream was nice.

Spock’s presence washed over him, around him, through him. It was such a comfort, and for a few moments, he had dreamed that the Vulcan held him close. They had shared a kiss, and Jim’s whole body felt like it had relaxed. The warmth of Spock’s concern for his well being surrounded him.

But all to soon he realized that it was only a dream. Nothing more than a fantasy he had made up. Why was he so cruel to himself? The Vulcan would not want him. They didn’t even know each other that well. It wasn't real.

 _“Wait, Jim, stop this! You do not understand what you are doing!”_ Spock was saying as he slipped away. Jim couldn’t understand him.

There was a jagged, gaping tear in his mind, searing agony where a moment ago there had been comfort and safety.

He woke up feeling cold and somehow empty. Like someone had ripped away a part of his soul. He curled into a ball and held himself shivering. _He was a projection of your own thoughts,_ Jim tried to explain to himself. 

Was he going insane? He felt so hollow.

He actually felt heartbroken.

A fierce blush stole over Jim’s cheeks. He could not just sit here and think about the Vulcan.

Or think about how all of his worries had fallen away, in the strength of his arms and the hypnotic drag of his lips. Jim could actually feel the waves of cold emptiness lessening as he reviewed the dream over again. The overwhelming throb in his heart became manageable and he desperately tried to remember what the Vulcan had actually looked like but his brain seemed to be coming up empty.

Thinking of the Vulcan evoked a number of pleasurable responses in his body though. Including one he hadn’t expected. He glanced down at his pants and adjusted trying to find a more comfortable position.

Now he had a new throb to deal with, but if he had to pick between the two this one was more preferable.

Breathing was now easier, but he still had a headache and all he wanted to hear was Spock's voice again. 

He remembered that line of poetry he had read to him,

_T'nash-veh katra nam-tor ish-veh. kal-tor nash-veh ashaya du. K'diwa. K'diwa. K'diwa._

He didn't know the meaning of any of the words but he remembered how his stomach had quivered when Spock had read them to him.

Spocks voice was so soothing. It managed to pierced through his headache somehow. Maybe the pain would dissipate if he could just keep hearing that voice.

"Don't stop talking," he said wearily to the emptiness. 

But Spock’s voice was gone and he was left with silence.

______________________________________

Spock gasped, and he felt his chest expand uncomfortably. He opened his eyes and blinked rapidly, seeing with his eyes again instead of with his mind. He felt separate, alone. He had not expected such an expulsion from Jim’s mind.

His breathing gradually returned to normal and he became aware of several people around him.

“Oh thank the powers that be, I thought you were dead Sir.”

Spock looked up to a worried Scotsman hovering over him restlessly. 

“I assure you, Mr. Scott, I am not dead.” His words were muffled by an oxygen mask covering his mouth. 

“Well you stopped breathin’ Sir! I was no’ sure what to do! I did’n know if it was a normal thing for Vulcans meditatin’ and whatnot, so I called for your medical staff.”

Spock slowly sat up and realized he was in the medical bay lying on a bio bed.

“Actually Spock,” came a voice from his left, “you seemed to be in some sort of trance. You did stop breathing but you still had a very faint pulse. Mr. Scott may have saved your life.” Captain Pike came up to his bio bed looking exhausted, the light blue medical lights enhancing the dark circles under his eyes.

“Actually it was Keenser who noticed first.” The scotsman commented looking around, “Now where did tha’ wee little man wander off too?”

“Mr. Scott, were you able to re-establish contact with Ji-- Mr.Kirk's ship?” Spock asked, removing his oxygen mask.

Mr. Scott turned back to him. “ No, I'm sorry Sir. I cannae find his signal. But I'm done outfitin’ those probes with a differential magnetometer I told you about and I believe I know the position of the hole Mr.Kirk is stuck in based on the pictures I took from his escape pod camera.”

Spock nodded. “Then we will start testing immediately.” He swung his legs to the side of the bio bed and began to get up. He felt light headed but he could control his body's responses just fine. 

“Uh, what do you think you’re doing?! Lie back down!” Came a new angry voice.

Dr. McCoy, “Bones” Jim had called him, stepped forward from behind Pike and scowled.

“Dr. Mites! Your patient is trying to leave, do something!” He yelled over his shoulder.

Pike gave a sideways glance, “Dr. McCoy please.” His gray tired eyes flicked back to Spock. “Let Dr. Mites take a look at you before you're released for duty.”

Spock frowned. “That is unnecessary Captain,” he once again began to slide from the biobed. “I’m perfectly capable of-“ his legs gave out and he almost fell to the floor if it had not been for the quick actions of his captain and Dr.McCoy.

“Dammit!” The Doctor said grabbing him and carefully, but rudely shoving him back on the bed. “Dr. Mites!” He yelled again.

“Yes, yes I’m right here.” Came the CMO. He licked his jowl and yawned, appearing bored beyond tears.

He scanned Spock briefly with a medical tricorder. 

The examination was very quick and not very thorough, a fact that Spock was grateful for. He did not want to be hindered in any way, and wished to get back to finding Jim as soon as possible.

Dr. Mites flicked his tail. “You look fine to me. You're cleared for duty.”

He turned away, grabbing his coffee and shuffled to another room without a backward glance.

But Spock remained seated. He was loathe to admit it, but he was still feeling some remaining disorientation from his Katra leaving his body. He would have to study the effect when Jim was safe. He had never read about such a thing occurring other than when a Vulcan died and their Katra had been passed to another for their Journey to The Hall of Ancient Thought at Mount Seleya.

Captain Pike nodded to Spock. “As long as you’re sure you’re okay, and Dr. Mites has cleared you for duty, you and Mr.Scott have my permission to start scanning for Kirk’s escape pod. I will do my best to keep Kirk's stepfather and his attorney out of the way.”

“Oh, I’ll get right on her Sir! Mr. Spock, I’ll go ahead and set up the probes if you want to meet me in engineering, I jus’ have to hunt down my assistant.”

“That would be agreeable, Mr.Scott. I will join you momentarily. ”

“Good.” Pike said and they watched the Scotsman leave.” Now, Dr.McCoy if you would follow me so I can keep an eye on you too.”

“Why? So I can be near that bastard again? I’ll kill em’. Not on your life pal. I’ll stay here.”

Pike sighed with a nod and pinched the bridge of his nose “Fine,” he relented “Just don’t rustle the feathers of any of my crew until we can find Kirk and bring him home.” With that said he left the medical bay.

Dr. McCoys lips pinched and he quietly turned back to Spock as if he thought the Vulcan was going to make a run for the exit as well. “You stay right there.” He commanded and he picked up a medical scanner on a nearby counter and began to scan Spock of his own accord. He glanced at Spock to make sure it was also all right with him, but Spock had the feeling that even if he protested, the Doctor would ignore him and continue to do so anyway. So Spock watched him and waited for him to finish, choosing not to make a comment.

The Doctor frowned down at what the medical scanner was telling him.

“My medical needs are different from other Vulcans.” Spock supplied.

“Different or not, the copper production of your blood is low. Have you had anything to eat recently?”

“Vulcans do not-”

“So the answer is no.” He interrupted. 

He wandered over to a drawer and began shuffling about blindly until he found what he was looking for and calibrated a hypospray. “I've made the dosage complimentary to your chart, So this should help.”

“I do not recall giving you such access to my private medical information and I do not believe you have permission to administer a hypospray to someone who is not your patient.”

Faster than Spock thought possible the hypospray was pressed to his neck.

“Yeah well, I consider everyone my patient, including green-blooded hobgoblins like yourself. I looked at your chart while your CMO was strapping an oxygen mask to your face, hoping I could help.”

He stood back and folded his arms. “So you’re the one who made contact with Jim.” Not a question, a statement.

“Affirmative.”

Spock was slowly beginning to feel better. Whatever McCoy had given him was helping to slightly relieve the mental fog in his brain.

“Was he okay?”

“In my brief contact with him, yes, however he suffered a panic attack in the beginning. However that is understandable due to his circumstances. I also believe he may have suffered a concussion due to his blow to the head with a pipe.”

“A pipe?”

“Yes that is how his assailant knocked him out, before placing him in the escape pod.”

The Doctor listened intently. “And from what I understand, and from what Pike has told me, is that you kept watch over him?”

“Affirmative.”

The Doctor sighed and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. He seemed to care a great deal about this man. And Spock could understand that. He had not understood at first but Jim was a man worth caring for. 

Spock suddenly realized he did not know the connection this Doctor had to Jim.

“May I ask what your association is to Mr. Kirk?”

“Roommate, babysitter, and Doctor all wrapped up into one.”

“Roommate? Were you stationed aboard the USS Star Marker with Mr.Kirk?”

“Hell No. Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence.” He spat with venom. “I was stationed back at Starfleet on earth. We were roommates back at the Academy, and then we got an apartment together in San Francisco before he got placed in that dinky science vessel.”

Spock knew humans liked social living as a way to save money, but he was curious if they had shared more than just a friendly relationship. Jim had previously stated that he was unattached to anyone at the moment, but humans tended to label things differently than Vulcans. This man could be a potential rival for Jim’s affections.

“Are you his potential mate?”

The Doctor scrunched up his face in distaste. “Ugh! No! I can barely tolerate him as a friend. He left Cheeto fingerprints all over our apartment couch. That being said he is sadly my best friend and that damn kid is like a magnet for danger. I knew we should have been stationed together, but he wanted to go to space and I didn’t.”

Spock tilted his head slightly, relieved that this man considered Jim and him only friends. 

That was all he needed to know. 

He stood up, no longer feeling ill. “If you will excuse me, I must go and help the engineer try and locate Mr. Kirk.”

“Wait!” The Doctor grabbed the scanner again and quickly ran it over Spock's body. He then nodded, seeming pleased by what he saw.

“Alright you can go, but if you begin to feel faint, come back to med bay and tell your CMO. I don’t support his decision to allow you to return to duty, but I can’t technically stop you.”

The doctor had already stopped him twice.

“Your objection has been noted.” He commented as he walked to the door.

He stopped.

If this man did care for Kirk, then he could understand him possibly wanting to be a part of the search. Against his better judgment he turned back around “Dr.McCoy if you would like to join us in our search, you are welcome to attend down in engineering.”

The doctor raised a brow, giving Spock an incredulous look. “No thanks. I want to go over the autopsy of Captain Mcintosh’s body, something isn’t sitting right with this whole situation and I hate to say this but you’re CMO is kind of lax in his duties. If Jim’s gonna be facing murder charges when he gets back, I want to be prepared to help him in any way I can.”

Spock nodded. “That is logical.”

And he left for engineering.

When he found Mr. Scott, he was leaning over one of The main control panels stationed in the center of engineering, his Rolyan ensign was standing next to him grunting coordinates and he was repeating them back as he typed them in.

He came to stand next to the Scotsman.

“Ah! There you are Mr.Spock! I was just about to launch the probes. Keesner had me my PADD so I can have a look at the statistical charts.”

The ensign tossed the PADD into the Scotsman's hands and thumped the screen with his short fingers pointing something out.

“Oi what’s this? This is a bunch o’ nonsense!”

The ensign glanced at the PADD and then grabbed it, flipping it around.

“Oh. Well. Thas’ better.”

The ensign seemed to roll his eyes.

“Take a look at this! He handed the PADD off to Spock. “I am sending the probes to this section. Not only do the stars line up from the hole picture taken from Mr. Kirk's escape pod, but the high influx of particle radiation is also present in this area and I’m hoping if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s our lost duck.”

“An interesting comparison,” Spock commented dryly as he nodded and reviewed the promising data.  
.  
“Wait, what have you got there? Is that from Mr. Spock’s cabin?” Mr. Scott abruptly asked.

Spock looked up from the PADD to see the Rolyan quickly hide something behind his back.

The ensign's eyes darted between Mr.Scott and himself. 

“Dead.” He grunted pointing an accusatory finger at Spock.

“I don’t care if you thought he was dead. You don’t go about stealing from dead people, an’ as you can see he’s very much alive! Give it back!”

The ensign grumbled and begrudgingly handed the object back to Spock, and the Vulcan turned it over in his hand. It was one of his meditation stones. They were used for Vulcans to help center themselves when they began their meditative practices at a young age. The stones had been a gift from his mother who had insisted he bring them with him onto the Enterprise. He did so just to make her happy but he had never needed to use them.

“So sorry Sir! You know Rolyans are a bit like birds tha’ see something shiny. They just take things sometimes. I lost a pair of shuttlecraft keys last year and I’m not entirely convinced it wasn’t Keesner.”

“Didn’t take!” The ensign insisted with a shake of his fists.

“Oh sure you dinnae’ take, but then why did I find my tahitian dancer key ring in your bag?”

Ensign Keesners eyes darted away and he muttered something the universal translator couldn’t pick up.

“Anyway,” he said, turning back to Spock. “Are you ready to give those probes a whirl?”

“Indeed.”

They both watched the probes launch and begin to dart about on their screens as they began scanning the area. “Should take them a few minutes to gather the data. I'm going to go get myself o’cup of tea. Would you like anything Sir?”

“Negative, Mr.Scott.”

“Alright then suit yourself.” And the Scotsman wandered over to a replicator on the other side of the engineering room leaving Spock to watch the screens. He held out hope that this would work. He wanted Jim safe.

He replayed with perfect clarity the memory of Jim grabbing him, and pulling him in for a kiss. 

That kiss.

Heat began to pool in his abdomen and he tampered down his body’s reaction. He had never felt lust before and it was unsettling. It was to be expected though if he shared a T’hy’la bond. Naturally when Vulcans solidified their bonds with their mates it was in the throws of their blood fevers. His bond was simply trying to complete itself. 

However what if Jim could not recognize the bond they shared? He had not believed Spock's presence in his mind was real.

Spock’s jaw clenched. Surely he was not the only one to have such feelings. Jim had claimed he was in love with him. Would the human be so outward with his emotions when they finally met? Would he even remember Spock being in his mind?

These questions disturbed Spock and he found himself surprisingly running his thumb over the meditation stone he had placed in his pocket. He had not realized he had wanted to share his life with another before, but the promise of a T’hy’la was something so rare must be pursued.

They had to rescue Jim first. And they would rescue him. Spock was willing to do whatever it would take to save his T’hy’la.

His Jim. His future mate.

He felt a thrill of happiness run through him before he tampered it down. He could not allow himself to get too excited. They had not even discovered-

The computer began beeping in alarm, interrupting his thoughts. “ Sounds like we got something!” Exclaimed the Scotsman excitedly as he rushed back over to the screens with a cup of tea sloshing over the rim as he walked.

Spock stepped to the side to allow the Scotsman room, but he also got closer to the screen where he saw a little red circle in the center of a starfield chart.

“Look! We seemed to have found our duck!” Mr. Scott pulled up a live feed view of the area, but there was no hole to be seen. “Well I don’t see a hole but maybe that's because it's no’ open right now.”

Spock pinched his lips together. They were so close.

He stared at the view of space. Jim was somewhere hidden there, but now that they had found him. 

How were they going to get him out?

He turned to ask the Scotsman if he might have any ideas but noticed movement from the corner of his eye. 

Frank Davis stepped out of view and Spock frowned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Mine soul be that one  
> Let me love you, my beloved.
> 
> My beloved, my beloved. My beloved.


	13. Chapter 13

“Let me get this straight, you want to blast Kirk towards us?” Captain Pike asked incredulously leaning against his desk in his ready room. “With photon torpedoes?”

“Just some wee ones,” Mr. Scott clarified. “With a very minimal payload. They can be detonated far enough away so tha’ the force of the detonation will push Mr. Kirk’s escape pod towards us. Once he’s close enough we can tractor beam his pod out and transport him out.”

“Have we actually tried to tractor beam him out?”

Mr. Scott looked at Spock, asking for help.

Spock straightened his spine. “We did try to tractor beam the pod out once the hole had opened, but we could not get the beam far enough into the pocket of space. Wherever it is Mr. Kirk is trapped, the area has a denser quality then our tractor beam is unable to penetrate through. I believe Mr. Scott’s idea holds promise.” Spock tried to sound clear and concise at conveying this information to his captain, but he too held reservations about using photon torpedoes to blast Jim free. 

“Uh-huh...and we can't just transport him out from here because of the high amount of particle radiation?” 

Scotty nodded his head vigorously.

“So how many photon torpedoes will it take?” Pike asked.

“Bout’ half o’ dozen,” Scotty answered.

“We hope,” Ensign Keenser grunted at his side.

The Scotsman placed a hand over the Roylans mouth. “No, No,” he laughed nervously “It will take Bout’ half o’ dozen,” Scotty affirmed, “And Mr. Spock and I tested the theory on the ship's computers makin’ sure everything was right.”

Ensign Keesner stepped forward and handed Pike a PADD that played out the simulated photon plan. Pike watched it a few times reviewing it thoroughly.

“Well it’s an interesting suggestion,” Pike said, rubbing his chin. “It seems like an insane way to rescue someone, but if it means we can finally get our hands on Kirk, I’m all for it, Spock?”

Spock had remained quiet. He desperately wanted to rescue Jim but this plan was very dangerous. One wrong move and they could end up killing the man by accident. He could not imagine killing his T’hy’la. It made him ill just thinking of such things. But he and Mr. Scott had gone over this several times; this really was their last resort. He clenched his jaw. 

Jim had said he did not believe in no-win scenarios. 

Spock would believe in that philosophy as well. He would place his faith in this plan, and if it failed, they would have to come up with another way. There would always be another way. It was all Spock could do. He would not rest until Jim was safe on the ship alongside him.

“We should test the reaction of a single photon torpedo in the void first,” Spock continued, “since we do not know the properties of that particular area in space, and although our plan may work in a computer simulation, I suggest we send in a probe with a camera to view the area and detonate one from a safe distance away from Mr. Kirk’s pod.”

Pike nodded. “Alright gentlemen, you have my permission. Do whatever you need to do.”

The Scotsman smiled and bounced on his heels. “It shouldn’t be a problem, Sir. I have everything practically set up, I just need to make the necessary adjustments to the torpedoes.”

“Very well. Mr. Scott, once you are done we will make the attempt at 0900 on the bridge tomorrow. You are dismissed.”

The Scotsman nodded, along with ensign Keesner, and they left the ready room. 

But Spock remained behind.

“What’s on your mind, Spock?” Pike asked expectantly.

“Captain I wish to inquire about Mr.Kirk's stepfather, Frank Davis.”

Pike grunted and began to pace the room. “Okay, what do you want to know?”

“I have come to the conclusion based on the way Mr. Kirk cut contact, and your previous statement about them not having a good relationship that perhaps the man was abusive towards Kirk and his earlier years.”

Of course, Spock knew the truth based on his experience inside Jim’s mind, but he did not relate that to Pike.

Pike blew out a breath, “While it’s not my place to talk about such personal things, you wouldn’t be wrong.”

“I want his presence off the ship once we rescue Mr. Kirk. He will be an unnecessary added stress for the man who will be facing murder charges.” Spock stated. 

“You’re not the only one who wants him, and his attorney, off this ship. I don’t want him here either, and I’m sure you’ve noticed Dr. McCoy‘s blatant dislike for the man as well. But he’s here along with Admiral Sue, who is overseeing both the insurance claim proceedings and subsequent trial if we end up rescuing Kirk.”

Spock nodded, keeping his face an unemotional mask, but he was not pleased with the entirety of the situation.

“I relent,” Spock said through tight lips. “I would, however, like to keep him as far away from the rescue proceedings as possible. I saw him down in engineering when he had no reason to be there, and I became concerned that he may try to tamper with our rescue operations, seeing he has much to gain from Mr. Kirk's death.”

“He was down in engineering?”

Spock nodded.

Pike faced hardened. “Alright, I’ll have him confined to the guest quarters under a security detail.”

“That would be agreeable, captain.”

Pike nodded and stopped pacing, he dragged a hand down his face and then closed his eyes in an exhausted manner. “Captain, you do not look as if you have rested.”

Pike gave a weak smile. “I could probably say the same thing for you”

“Is there something troubling you?”

“I don’t know Spock, I think I’m just getting old. When I first became a Captain I could not imagine giving up the chair for a lousy desk job being an admiral, but over the last few days, I've had to admit to myself that it’s starting to hold some appeal. I’ve been thinking a lot about my future, and where it will take me and I keep picturing a nice house overlooking the San Francisco Bay.”

“You wish to retire?”

“No not completely…” he ran a hand through his gray hair. “I don’t really know what I want. I guess I’ll have to wait and see what Starfleet offers me when the next round of promotions go through. Anyway, that doesn’t really matter right now. Why don’t you try to go and get some rest, and I’ll see you tomorrow for the torpedo testing.”

Spock knew a non-verbal dismissal when he heard one and so he made his way back to his cabin. With the assurance that Frank Davis would now be under a security detail, he relaxed slightly and had a cup of tea. The heat of his drink calmed nerves he did not realize he was experiencing, and in this state, there is little recourse except for meditation. So after he finished his tea he sat on the thin mat that he kept on his floor and sank into meditation. 

Forgoing his normal ritual to examine the emotions he had experienced during the day, he quickly sought out the T’hy’la bond in his mind. 

It was a little difficult because the bond was technically incomplete so it drifted about in his mind aimlessly and remained unattached to anything. As he got closer to the area where he felt it’s presence, he felt the familiar pull. The shimmering strand of gold glittered happily as if greeting him and Spock recognized Jim’s mind calling to him.

He followed the pull past the newly formed sand dunes that led to nothing and found himself at the vast expanse of the black void where the bond bridge waited for him to impatiently cross.

Spock had made a handful of attempts to try and reach out to Jim telepathically, hoping desperately that his messages would be sent along the bond to Jim’s mind, but he did not feel like his messages were being received. 

He did not want to cross the bond bridge again because he did not know the full effects of his Katra leaving his body and he did not wish to injure himself before rescuing Jim in the physical realm. 

But he did wish to warn him.

Reaching down he touched the edge of the bridge, the bond chimed happily at contact, it pulled desperately at his hand but he remained where he was.

_Jim. We will be trying to rescue you in just a few short hours; do not be alarmed if you see explosions. It is us. We are trying to get to you. Do not be alarmed. Calm. Remain calm. I am coming for you. Then we can be together._

He released his hand and stood up.

The bond released a series of sour notes unhappily and the sound echoed throughout his mind. There was nothing Spock could do. He could not give into temptation and cross the bridge to enter Jim’s mind.

_I am sorry,_ he said to the bond itself. _I can not complete you yet._

This upset the bond greatly and Spock could feel a spike of pain shoot through his skull. He could control the pain easily, but he hoped this was not affecting Jim in a negative way.

He left the bond, and continued his normal meditation routine and soon his internal clock told him it was time to meet Mr. Scott, on the bridge for their first rounds of testing. He regressed back into the stages of reality but he did not feel rested. 

That did not matter at the moment however, because in just a few hours he hoped he would be seeing Jim.

———————

Spock stared at the live video footage of Kirk’s pod on his screen.

They had flown a probe into the hole with a camera attached to view the area, but as soon as the probe entered it immediately got stuck and did not progress any further into the pocket of space.

They briefly worried that the torpedoes would react the same way and get stuck as well, but Scotty had an idea to speed up the torpedo thrusters, six times their speed with an equation he seemed to have created right on the spot.

With the difference in speed made up, they tested their first torpedo.

From the live camera footage, they watched as the tester torpedo shot into the hole at incredible speeds but then slowed down immediately as if it were traversing in some sort of gelatinous mass. Despite that, the torpedo made it to its correct destination just a few hundred yards away from Kirk’s escape pod and detonated.

Based on the readings from the probe the camera was attached to, the photon torpedoes would create an energy wave sufficient enough to push Kirk's pod out of the hole.

It looked like their plan was going to work.

They tested the plan a few more times just to make sure, but soon Pike was ready to proceed with the rescue mission.

“Okay everybody knows what to do? Transporter room as soon as Kirk's pod is clear, beam him aboard immediately. Do we have medical staff standing by?” Pike asked into the comm.

Spock heard two yes’s answer him. One belonging to their CMO and the other Dr. McCoy. 

“Torpedo sequence loaded and ready,” Scotty answered as he sat at a control panel waiting to go ahead.

“Fire at will, Commander,” Pike ordered.

As planned, the torpedoes shot out of the Enterprise in perfect unison, six bright white points of light that got into position and arranged themselves as expected and then disappeared into the hole. 

Spock’s eyes were riveted on the screen. 

Everything was going accordingly until a warning popped up on the screen indicating that one of the torpedos was no longer handling its power distribution evenly and it was off course.

“What’s wrong?” Pike asked instantly.

Mr. Scott’s fingers immediately began to fly across the keyboard.

“Someone activated a subroutine to knock one of the torpedoes off their course and I cannae stop it!”

Spock’s knuckles tightened and his eyes met Pikes.

Pikes's hand slammed down on his captain's chair control panel.

“This is Captain Pike to the head of security. Matalolo, come in.”

“This is Matalolo.”

“Is Frank Davis and his attorney still confined to their guest quarters?”

There was a brief pause before they got an answer, “Yes sir both are still in their Cabins.”

Spock did not care if Frank Davis was still in his quarters. He was behind the malfunction somehow.

Spock’s eyes rapidly reviewed the massive amount of codes flying across the screen and watched as Mr. Scott desperately tried to re-write the code to correct the error.

“I cannae do it! I can only correct the flight path by 30.2%!”

All eyes were on the screen as the torpedos payloads detonated asymmetrically and the entire field in view on the screen turned white. 

Spock, like the rest of the crew, could only watch utterly helpless as the pod was blasted violently through the hole into their space but it’s side was dented inward indicating severe damage.

The pod twirled wildly about before their tractor beam locked onto it. 

Spock quickly read the incoming data on the screen as the Enterprise scanned the pod for damage. Life support was not functioning

Spock's heart raced with fear.

“Transporter room can you pick up Kirk's signal?” He heard Pike ask over the comm.

The comm was silent, and Spock looked to Pike just in time to see him swallow with worry.

“Transporter room? I repeat, were you able to beam Kirk aboard?”

“We got him, sir, he's on the transporter pad but he's not breathing. Doctors Mites and McCoy are tending to him now.”

Spock felt his chest seize. 

“Alright. Tractor his escape pod into shuttle bay 2, and I’ll be down there in a minute.” He turned to Spock. “Let’s go, commander.”

Nobody had to ask him twice. He followed Pike into the turbo lift and they both all but ran down to the transporter room together where they were greeted with chaos.

The room was teeming with personnel, all speaking at once, and above their voices, Spock heard a familiar growl snapping at everyone. “Can y’all just step back and give me some damn room?” Dr. McCoy bellowed, and the din in the room quieted. 

“Bring me that gurney,” He ordered, and Spock watched as two nurses rushed forward pushing an anti-grav gurney following the command of McCoy as if he were the acting physician. 

Dr. Mites was in the corner prepping hypospray’s for McCoy and handed them off as if he were just another assistant.

Much to his relief, Jim was sitting in an upright position on the transporter pad, supported by McCoy, who held an oxygen mask to his face. “Breathe, nice and slow kid. Nice and slow.” As the gurney was brought into position, McCoy helped Jim stand, then got him situated on top of it. He grabbed his tricorder and began to scan him.

The sense of urgency retreated and intense relief flooded through Spock at the sight of Jim unharmed for the most part.

Spock moved aside as Pike pushed into the room past him. 

“How is he?” He asked the Doctor.

McCoy barely gave him a glance. “On the verge of respiratory arrest, but we got him out just in time.”

“I’m- fine-” Jim gasped. “Just need- A moment-”

“Keep that oxygen mask on!” Barked McCoy.

“It’s- okay Bones.” He said, a bit easier. “I can breathe.”

McCoy pressed a hypospray into his neck and he winced. “This should help your lungs expand.” He explained. “Jeez kid, you can’t even be rescued right.”

Jim gave a tired smile.“That would take all of the fun out of it-,” he said as he dragged in a breath, “ But I missed you to Bones, '' he said, a bit weaker slapping the Doctor's shoulder in a friendly manner.

Unclenching his hands, Spock attempted to relax his posture and project his usual calm demeanor. Jim was here. He was safe. And he was approximately 13 feet away.

His feet moved on their own accord and he came closer to the transporter platform until only 6 precious feet in length separated them. He should wait to make his presence known. He should logically not insert himself while there was a medical emergency happening.

He watched Jim for a moment, taking in his vibrant blue eyes and ruffled blonde hair. He was the most beautiful thing Spock had ever seen.

He could not help himself.

"I am pleased to see you are well."

Jim's head snapped up in recognition.

"Spock?"

Spock gave a slight nod.

The man blinked a few times taking in the sight of him and Spock could feel Jim's eyes search his features for confirmation that he was who he claimed to be. 

Tears began to fill his slightly pinking rims and he pinched his lips together as if holding back a possible sob while several different emotions played across his face. 

Spock grew concerned. Had he upset Jim? He had not meant to. He began to step back suddenly feeling very out of place. 

He should have done what logic dictated and waited until the doctor had finished taking care of him. Perhaps he should leave, he had no wish to upset Jim any further.

But Jim had other plans. He jumped up from the anti-grav gurney and practically lept from the transporter platform, closing the short distance between them.

Like two stars colliding, one drawn to the other with a fierce magnetic pull, Jim slammed into the Vulcan, by throwing his arms around his neck and pulling himself in for a tight hug.

Spock heard a few gasps from around the room, and one "What the hell?!" from Dr.McCoy. 

“Jim, wait! Vulcan’s do not like to be touched!” cried Pike in horror. 

But Jim did not seem to hear them as he buried his nose deep into Spock's neck, nesting there like he belonged. And he did belong. 

Through the emotional transference from the skin to skin contact, Spock felt Jim had never been so happy to see another living soul in his entire life. 

"You saved me." He mumbled, his soft lips moving against Spock 's skin. 

Spock shivered.

“Um, excuse you?! We all had a part in saving you.” McCoy said irritated.

Jim ignored him. "Thank you, Spock."

Spock was touched beyond words, and both his body and the bond within his mind sang at the praise and physical contact from his T’hy’la. Yes this was right. He could feel the bond pulling them closer together and he wondered if Jim was feeling the same thing. 

Spock had never initiated intimate contact before, especially not in a public setting such as this, but at that moment he did not care for the propriety of Vulcan ways.

The whole of the universe might as well have just contained the two of them. 

There was a brief beat before he hesitantly lifted his arms and slowly wrapped them around Jim in return. 

“You are welcome, Jim.” He whispered, lowering his head to the man's shoulder.

There were even more pronounced gasps around the room than before.

He closed his eyes and held Jim close, crushing the man's body against his own, chest to chest and curve against curve. They fit together as if they were made for one another.

Spock released a sigh of relief, and he heard Jim breathe his name against his ear, “Spock.”

Spock could feel the man trembling against him and he understood.

Finally. Finally, they were together.

Jim’s heart was pounding in his rib cage and Spock could feel its rhythm calling to him through the fabric of his shirt, he wanted to calm it, protect it, hold it closer and keep it safe. He held Jim’s body for everything it was worth, knowing this man would be his greatest treasure. He vowed, right then and there, to never allow something so precious come to harm. Spock could not believe a month ago that someone like him could even exist, and now he hoped they would never part from each other again.

This was Jim. 

His T’hy’la.

His soul mate.

And for that brief moment, everything was perfect in Spock's universe and he experienced peace.

Someone awkwardly cleared their throat from behind them. 

“I hate to break up this moment but, Lieutenant Commander James T Kirk you’re under arrest for the murder of Captain Evan Macintosh.”

The room broke out into chaos. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know slow burns are hard but trust me this one is worth it!  
> stay tuned. The heat is about to be turned up. 
> 
> But I just wanted Thank you, readers, so much!!! I am so grateful for all support that people show to my little murder mystery fic.
> 
> I am really lucky, the Spirk fandom has shown nothing but love and support for me and each commentary you guys leave me sends me to the stars.


	14. Chapter 14

Jim couldn't believe he had his arms around a Vulcan.

_A Vulcan!_

And the Vulcan was holding him back.

He scrunched his eyes together and willed away the tightness in his throat.

When Jim had spotted him standing at the edge of the transporter pad, he had wanted to cry. There had been a multitude of reasons, but the biggest one being, that he had convinced himself they would probably never meet.

 _Spock!_ His mind screamed. _This was Spock!_ He felt like his heart had left his body and flown directly to the man.

Jim had been holding out hope that when he finally met Spock he would be old and decrepit because at least then his crush might have gone away. But Spock was beautiful. Unfathomably so, and he felt so welcome in his arms that he never wanted to leave. Jim had spent much of his life in the presence of attractive people. Men, women, humanoids and outright aliens, but Spock was something else entirely. Perhaps he was biased, because of his not so little crush, but until now he had only known the Vulcan by his deep and soothing voice. It matched his appearance flawlessly. His dark black hair was straight and calm, pairing perfectly with skin that was just as smooth and soft as his tone. 

The Vulcan’s all too human eyes searched his and Jim melted like the chocolate they so deeply resembled. 

Oh, if he thought he was screwed before, it was nothing compared to what he felt now. Hopeless? Smitten? God, he was in love.

Jim didn’t think. He acted. 

It was something that normally either worked out for him or didn't, but before he knew it, his arms were thrown around the Vulcan’s neck without a care in the world. 

Burying his head against Spock’s welcoming skin, he breathed him in. He smelled beyond heavenly and Jim’s stomach fluttered at the sensation of his lips dragging against the barely-there stubble on his chin and neck. 

He closed his eyes and tried to calm his mind, but he was shaking like an unstable rocket launch. 

He was just so happy. So. Damn. Happy. He swallowed again and his throat hurt from the motion. 

_Don’t cry on the Vulcan!_ He scolded himself. _Do not get your overly emotional human tears all over him!_

He was suddenly hyper-aware of what he was _actually_ doing, and he became horribly embarrassed. He probably looked and smelled awful. He had been in that pod for quite a few days and he felt beyond scruffy and unpresentable. He had been about to pull away and apologize, when the Vulcan brought his arms up around him, gathering his body closer.

Jim’s knees grew weak as the Vulcan held him close, and the moment felt intimate. The hug was so tight that his lungs struggled to expand, but he didn’t care. If he passed out, he passed out and it would be worth it. Jim was relieved that Spock had not pushed him away, and in fact, he was slightly awed at being embraced back.

He could have stayed in that moment forever. It was perfect.

All too soon however he heard a voice speak up, and recite the words he knew would eventually come.

“Lieutenant Commander James T Kirk you’re under arrest for the murder of Captain Evan Macintosh.”

Multiple voices came to his defense at once and the room was filled with a cacophony of objections. 

The loudest being Bones.

But Jim had a hard time listening to anyone because he was still wrapped up in the Vulcan.

He didn't want to let go.

Jim let out a long shuddering breath and tightened his arms around Spock briefly one last time before he pulled back. They were nose to nose and if Jim wanted, he could have leaned in and stolen a kiss right then and there, but he wouldn’t do that to the Vulcan, he had already forced too much physical contact as it was. Spock studied him carefully and Jim couldn't help but give him a smile before turning away.

He took a deep breath and stood up as straight as possible, squaring his very sore shoulders. If he was going to be arrested he would do so with dignity. The confidence of an innocent man and a far cry from how he used to act when he had been arrested in prior years for fighting or vandalism.

He faced the arrester.

Admiral Sue was a very short woman with dark skin, and although her stature was small, she commanded every room she entered with her presence. She had sharp intelligent eyes and graying silver hair plaited in multiple braids which were swept up in a tight bun. Standing ramrod straight with her hands held behind her back, her face was as neutral as a Vulcans.

Jim had met her only a handful of times, and he always had the impression that she was as serious as they came. She spoke fast and harshly, but never out of malice. She was honorable, and Jim felt a little bit of relief knowing she would probably be the one overseeing his trial. If he had any hope for a fair trial he would get it from her.

She was flanked by a security team of at least six officers from Starfleet. They were dressed in dark gray and silver, different from the security officers of the Enterprise. They looked like a wall of intimidation lined up behind her.

Jim pinched his lips together. Six officers? That was a bit of an overkill. They were acting like he was a seasoned killer getting ready to run. 

Stupid. 

Like he could get very far after his harrowing ordeal in the escape pod which had just been blasted out of space and scrambled his brains pretty good. In fact, he was struggling to stand at the moment. He would probably be dead if he hadn’t gotten the feeling to buckle himself in a few hours prior to the Enterprise's rescue attempt. 

It had been strange, one minute he had been asleep, the next he found himself with the overwhelming need to strap himself down making sure he was secure. He wanted to chalk it up to a gut feeling but he knew something else had been the cause. Whatever the reason, he was grateful for the warning.

He tried to step forward but Bones was suddenly blocking his path. “You can’t just throw him in the brig! I still need to do some medical scans to make sure he’s all right!”

Jim opened his mouth to tell Bones it was alright but was cut off when Spock stepped in front of him as well. “I concur with Dr. McCoy‘s assessment that Mr. Kirk should receive a full medical evaluation before being taken into custody.”

Admiral Sue’s eyes narrowed a fraction. “He will be allowed medical care under heavy guard. I am not inhumane. However, I will be reading his rights as I must follow certain legal procedures.”

Captain pike stepped up next to her. “Please gentleman, follow orders and everything will go smoothly for Kirk. Admiral Sue is not the enemy here.”

Admiral Sue nodded in acknowledgment. “Mr. Kirk, You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have a right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you on behalf of the United Federation of Planets.” She motioned to two of her security officers. “Pat him down before he goes to the medical bay.”

Jim wasn’t surprised to watch Bones turn beet red with anger, but he stepped aside as the two officers approached him. Jim raised his arms up to the sides of his head and spread his legs apart knowing how things worked. He hadn’t been arrested since before going to the Academy, but it was like a song and dance you never forget. 

What did surprise him however was how Spock slightly moved further in front of him at the officer’s approach. It was almost a protective movement but it only lasted a few moments before he too relented and moved aside as well.

Jim must have been mistaken. Did Vulcans protect their friends? No wait, Spock said Vulcans did not have friends, to begin with… although he had categorized their relationship as a friendship. But just because they were friends, didn’t mean he was being protective.

As the pat-down began he suddenly realized exactly how sore he was. Being tossed about in a pod, no matter how strapped down you were, definitely left a few marks on the body. The two officers were professional in their actions, never pressing too hard, but he was feeling every bump and bruise.

He hissed slightly as one of the officers hit some sort of injury on the inside of his thigh where the seat belt had dug into the skin. 

He heard a growl from his right and he looked up surprised to find Spock's face pinched tightly, almost in anger. The Vulcans face was a hard mask with his brows lowered over his eyes and for a brief moment, Jim thought he might have upset the Vulcan somehow. After all, _he_ was the one being arrested, but then he noticed that his attention was focused on the officer who had hit his bruise. If looks could kill the man would be dead.

Spock’s eyes rose to meet his and suddenly his face was an emotionless mask, void of anything.

Jim blinked. Had he imagined the whole thing? He was feeling a bit woozy. Maybe he really had scrambled his brains more than he had thought. Vulcans didn’t growl.

As the pat-down ended and his body revealed no hidden weapons, everyone turned to look at Admiral Sue for further directions. “Escort Mr. Kirk to the medical bay, and keep watch as his doctor runs tests. As soon as he’s done, however, take him to the brig.” She turned to Pike, “Captain Pike if I may speak with you in your ready room.”

“Of course.” He said with a frown gesturing for Admiral Sue to follow him as they left the transporter room.

“Come on Jim.” Bones grumbled in his ear as he motioned for his two aids to bring the anti-grav gurney towards them.

“No it’s okay Bones, I can walk.” 

“Jim you’re limping.”

“I’m fine. Nothing you can’t patch up right?” He said jokingly. 

He did not want pity, and he did not want to appear weak.

He walked out of the transporter room and down the hallway. He had been on the Enterprise before for a few state dinners and surprise, surprise due to a few food allergies he knew exactly where the medical bay was. He was flanked by a number of people, but he kept his head held high, despite the more than a few curious looks he received from random crew members along the way.

He was limping but he did his best to hide it, keeping his spine straight even though his ribs and shoulders protested. 

Their little group finally made it down to the medical bay and just in time. As soon as he was out of sight from onlookers she stumbled slightly grabbing the nearest counter for support.

Four hands seemed to catch him. Two belonging to Bones and the other two sent shivers racing across his skin.

With a few choice cuss words from Bones, they both helped him onto the biobed.

Spock's hands left his body, and he felt cold without them.

_No, come back._

“Let’s take a look at that melon of yours.” Bones said, grabbing a medical scanner, “I’ve been informed that you took a pipe to the head. You're probably still suffering the effects from a possible concussion, and with that little emergency you had today in the escape pod an increased heart rate may worsen your symptoms. Are you experiencing any headaches from that little bout of dizziness?”

“Actually yes… I have been experiencing headaches. A lot of them.”

Bones grunted in response as he read the data on the scanner. “Well, you got a concussion all right. But it looks like I can heal the cut with a dermal regenerator.”

“I have a cut?” He reached up to touch the top of his head and his hand was slapped away.

“More like a gash. Don’t touch it. Once I’ve healed it along with your more superficial wounds, you can get yourself cleaned up and we’ll begin the more invasive scans.”

Jim frowned. The wound didn’t feel that bad, but he supposed he hadn’t really touched it, figuring he had bigger problems to worry about.

“Alright, everyone out so Jim can get undressed.” He said turning to the security officers. 

They nodded their heads, “We will be outside the door.” One of them said and they left.

Jim began the arduous task of peeling his stale, sweat-stained soaked shirt off his back, and he groaned as his aching muscles protested the raising of his arms.

“Um excuse me, I meant everyone. Get out.” He heard Bones say rudely as Jim finally finished removing his shirt. Spock was still standing in the room looking slightly surprised at being addressed like he hadn't thought the “get out” included him. He straightened up and nodded, looking from Bones to Jim, his dark eyes searching, “I will return.” He affirmed and then left.

Jim felt a small blush spread across his cheeks but ignored it. It was so strange to hear a voice he knew so well actually come from someone really standing in front of him. Especially if that someone was beyond mouth-watering in appearance. He had to stop himself from asking Bones to let him stay, but that would have been weird right? He was sure the vulcan had better things to do than watch him get examined. 

He got up and removed his pants and shoes, the task being just as difficult as removing his shirt had been, but Bones let him be. He knew Jim didn’t want to be helped in this aspect, and so he began prepping hyposprays next to his bed instead.

“So what happened Jim.” He asked conversationally.

He always appreciated Bones' way of speaking. It was blunt without any preamble and it made explaining difficult things easier.

“I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Well,” he said, taking a hypospray and pushing it into his neck, “start at the beginning.”

“Honestly there’s not much to tell. I don’t know what happened… not really anyway. One minute I was working down in the astrological room working on star charts, and then the next, Captain Macintosh ordered me up to his ready room. When I got there he pulled a phaser on me. He had the ship rerouted to an M class planet nearby and the whole crew was ordered to disembark and abandon ship. Everyone was allowed to go but me. He then had me move the ship next to the border of Klingon space and then he um...he tried to convince me to run away with him…” Jim cringed.

“Runaway with who?! _Captain Mac?!_ ” Bones asked shocked. “He could practically be your Pa he's so old!”

Jim just shook his head.“Remember about a month ago when I called you and told you his attitude towards me had changed? I thought I was a good thing at first since I was his commanding officer, but I guess he developed some sort of crush… well no, it wasn’t really like a crush, it was more infatuation. It was like his entire personality had changed. He didn’t even seem like the same person anymore.”

Bones frowned, the corners of his mouth practically touching his chin.

“When I refused, we got into a vicious fight. I tried to wrestle the phaser away but he caught me by surprise with a pipe. The next thing I knew I was waking up in an escape pod trapped in some pocket of space. I didn’t know where I was, or what had happened, but this hole opened up and I could see the remains of the USS Star Marker on the other side it looked like the ship had been blown to smithereens. I tried to move my escape pod towards the hole, but it wouldn’t budge and so I fashioned a makeshift emergency signal and shot it out in space. I didn’t know if Captain Mcintosh was still alive and I didn’t want him finding me. So I disguised the Starfleet signal but the Enterprise ended up finding it anyway…”

Jim trailed off. He couldn’t believe the series of events that had led him to this point.

“The Enterprise established a two-way working signal and that’s how they found me, Spock was assigned to look after me. Have you met Spock?”

“Yes. He had a medical emergency after you cut contact.”

“A medical emergency?” Jim blinked in surprise, “What happened?”

“Jim, Focus. We’re talking about you.”

Jim frowned. Spock had had a medical emergency? He looked fine when they had met. He hoped he was okay. He turned towards the medical bay exit where he had left, Jim hoped he would be seeing Spock again soon.

Bones cleared his throat to get his attention. “Jim?”

Jim turned back to look at him, “I don’t know what else to say...besides these killer headaches and my less than perfect rescue causing my body to be sore as hell. I did have a few weird dreams in the pod, but I can’t really remember them… for the most part anyway. I always felt like I was being pulled somewhere.”

“It was probably just your brain trying to make sense of your prolonged isolation. Don’t worry about those dreams unless they continue to grow worse. If that happens, come see me again and I will look more into it.”

Bones pressed another hypospray to his neck and then took up the dermal regenerator and began seeking out the bruises all over his body.

“Jim, I know you cut contact because of him.” Bones said a bit quieter.

They both knew who he was referring to.

“I just… didn’t expect to hear his voice.” Was all he said. It was all he really _could_ say.

“Yeah… I wasn't too happy when our shuttle crafts met up at Enterprise at the same time. I didn’t even know he was coming, otherwise, I would have taken my shuttlecraft and crashed into his.”

Jim gave a soft chuckle. “Crashed your shuttlecraft into his Bones? Please, you hate space and you hate flying.”

“Yeah but for some God forsaken reason I love your ass, so shut up.”

Jim closed his eyes and winced as the regenerator ran over a particularly deep bruise on his shoulder.

“Sorry.” Bones muttered, “ Anyway I thought it was weird when Pike greeted me in the transporter room personally with some armed officers, but it soon made sense when a few seconds later, that bastard and his attorney beamed aboard. I’m telling ya, Jim. I almost took his head off right there.”

Jim opened his eyes slowly and stared at the white sterile floor. Both Pike and Bones knew how his stepfather had treated him, but Bones had actually seen the evidence in his medical files. As a doctor, he could practically map every break and lesion recorded on and off his file, and he knew more than anybody, besides Sam, just how brutal his upbringing had been when his mom had been off-planet.

“Why is he here, Bones…” he whispered quietly, although Jim had a feeling he knew the answer.

Bones paused in his administration. “He’s here for that life insurance policy of yours. That’s how I was notified. I’m your emergency contact, but so is he in the event you pass away or go missing.”

Jim gritted his teeth. He hated, HATED, that life insurance policy. And it was all because he was a survivor of Tarsus IV. He was one of only two children who had seen Governor Kodos’s actual face and could identify him personally, and on top of that, his father had been George Kirk, the hero of the USS Kelvin disaster. Grants, foundations and funds had been put in his name and with all of that, he still received the life insurance coverage every Starfleet officer was awarded when they went into the service.

His life insurance policy was triple times the amount any sane persons should be.

And Frank Davis was the beneficiary. 

It hadn’t been his mom's fault, she hadn’t known of Frank's drunken ways before she had died in her own Starship accident. Otherwise, she would’ve changed the policy. 

But she hadn’t and he was stuck with something that tied himself to the man he hated the most.

He glanced at Bones from the corner of his eye. “ Is he still here?”

Bones nodded grimly. “But you just say the word Jim and I’ll kill em’.”

Jim gave a surprising dry laugh, the kind that only Bones could pull from him. “Hey only one of us on trial for murder at a time, okay Bones?”

Bones frowned at him. “That’s another thing. What are we gonna do about this murder accusation? I just don’t see how they can blame you for Captain Macintosh’s murder. You seem to be a victim of circumstance.”

Jim shook his head completely at a loss. “I don’t know. I’ve never been accused of murder before...but Admiral Sue is the overseer. I know she’ll give me a fair trial.”

“Are we sure that woman is not a Vulcan? I haven’t seen her face change expressions once. Not once!”

Jim smiled as he began to stretch. His back popped in two places, “ugh” even the pop of his spine caused discomfort.

Bones pressed his lips together and Jim found another hypospray at his neck. “This should help with the pain.” He mumbled. “Now sonic shower, or testing first?”

Jim smelled his shirt and twisted his face for comedic effect “Sonic shower, definitely.” He said as he hopped down from the biobed. “Um, where is it exactly?”

Bones looked around with him, “Hell if I know, probably in the back over there.”

Jim raised an eyebrow. For a minute, he had almost forgotten that this wasn’t the doctor's normal medical bay, even though he moved around like it was. Where was this ship's CMO?

“I will hunt down a shaver for you, you're looking a bit wild.”

Jim scratched the scruff on his cheek. “Yeah, thanks. Toothbrush too if you can.”

He found the showers in the back and relief arose in him at the prospect of being clean. The overhead lights activated as he stepped into one of the stalls closest to him. Turning the sonic shower on he tried his best to clear his head and let the warm sonic waves roll over his tender body. It felt amazing and he sighed into it, tipping his head back to let the stench of body oil and sweat be stripped away. His skin was still a little sensitive from the dermal regenerator and little tingles went down his shoulders and arms.

He punched in a code at a small replicator station in the stall wall for a cleanser and rubbed it into his skin. It was a normal standard Starfleet brand but it smelled great and immediately reminded him of a certain someone’s skin.

Heat unfurled in his stomach and he couldn’t help but think of those firm arms and deep brown eyes. Spock was extremely attractive and Jim thought they got along great. Well, at least verbally they did… sometimes... when they weren’t debating something, but even in their debates, Jim had fun. Would Spock be different in person? Would they still get along?

And the way Spock had greeted him? That could mean the possibility of more than friendship right? Right?

He ran his fingers through his hair. 

He had thought back on the escape pod that if he could ask Spock out and get a rejection to his advances, it would be able to stop the fierce unrelenting pull he was feeling towards the Vulcan. Even now his feet wanted to take him out of the stall and wander the halls naked until he found the one he wanted.

But nothing had gone as planned and he was no longer stuck on the escape pod. 

Should he ask the Vulcan out again?

His eyes slid closed as he thought of being with the Vulcan in a romantic capacity.

What would it be like to press his nose into the curve of his neck again. To lick and suck a kiss there. What color would Vulcan hickies be?

A wave of lust stole over him and he was glad he was alone. He doubted that if Spock was near him he wouldn't be able to control himself. He was probably a heathen compared to the Vulcan way of courtship.

But he just couldn’t help it. He was only human.

As he massaged his aching pectoral muscles his hands slowed, and soon he began to imagine that his hands were Spocks. Warm and tender, he could picture the Vulcan standing in front of him with those dark, penetrating chocolate eyes, and he could feel the trail of his creamy pale fingers burning a hot path down his abdomen as they traveled lower exploring on their own accord.

Those hands. He bet they were magic.

When Spock's hands had caught him from falling, he had felt his Vulcanian strength even in the tips of his fingers. Strong hands like that could grip his hips in that particularly special way that always made his toes curl, causing him to whimper. Those long fingers of his could wrap around and grip-

“Jim! I found you a razor.” Bones said popping up outside his stall door.

Jim’s heart leapt from his chest and into his throat. He nearly screamed. “Don’t you knock!” He accused, angrily. Thank God for the frosted glass.

“Well excuse me, Miss Daisy! I thought you wanted a razor!” Bones yelled back. “I’ll just leave it here with a medical robe and, oh, I found you a toothbrush too. Once you’re done in there come find me you brat and we’ll get started on your medical scans.”

There was no way Jim could, or _would_ finish anything now. 

Bones had scared off his erection. 

He had been De-Boned. 

I shouldn’t even be having these thoughts, he growled at himself, scrubbing his body down briskly, before shutting off the sonic shower.

He quickly jumped from the stall and found a small sink and a mirror. He carefully shaved and then brushed his teeth, watching his reflection stare back at him as he did so. He looked awful. Dark circles under his eyes, skin mottled in red spots from the dermal regenerator. Even his hair color seemed a bit dull.

He couldn't charm anyone in this state let alone a fine-looking Vulcan like Spock.

He chastised himself as he put on the medical robe. He shouldn’t be worrying about this, no matter how badly his hormones raged at the mere thought of Spock. He needed to focus on the more recent threats in his life. Like the murder accusations.

His stomach growled.

Maybe some food too. Actually, wait a minute. He did smell food.

He sniffed the air and followed the scent back into the exam area.

He was surprised to find Bones talking to a young woman, a nurse by the look of her uniform, who was holding a tray of food with Spock standing next to her in a militant stance.

They all turned at his approach. 

Jim tried to not look at Spock, remembering he just suffered a fantasy about him in the shower and he was one thin medical gown away from revealing a repeat performance.

Nevertheless, he looked, and the Vulcan's eyes were already on him watching his every move carefully.

His stomach fluttered like he was a grade school girl with her first crush. But he couldn’t help it. Spock gave him butterflies.

He forced his attention away. 

“Is that for me?” he asked looking at the tray, his stomach growling again in delight.

“Oh yes,” said the woman smiling, “Commander Spock thought it would be a good idea to get you some food. He’s thoughtful like that.” She looked up at Spock with big doe-like eyes.

Jim gave a pause watching the two, but before he could contemplate the matter, the nurse collected herself and stepped forward with the tray revealing it was a hot chicken sandwich paired with fries and coffee.

“We were just checking to make sure it was okay with Dr. McCoy.” She said kindly.

Jim looked to Bones and his friend rolled his eyes. “Yeah go ahead but don’t eat too much. You don’t want to make yourself sick if you’re still feeling nauseous from your concussion.”

Jim's mouth watered, he could never say no to a chicken sandwich. He took the tray from the nurse and went and sat down on the biobed. “Oh, this is great, thank you! '' He couldn't help but get excited as his hunger got the best of him. He immediately picked it up and moaned as he bit off a piece, letting his eyes flutter shut enjoying the taste. It was so good to eat real food again, well...replicated but still, not a ration bar. It was comforting. Hot juice from the chicken escaped his mouth and ran down his fingers and he quickly licked at it before it ran down to his wrists.

“Jeez Jim, take a napkin.” Bones said, handing him a few picked up from his tray.

“Oh right,” he said, a bit bashful as his eyes flew to Spock and the nurse who were watching him eat.

He had already forgotten he had an audience. 

The nurse looked on in a compassionate manner, but Spock's eyes had grown dark and were arrested on the sandwich in his hands.

He looked as hungry as Jim felt, but wait, Vulcans didn’t eat meat. He must just be hungry then.

Jim held up his plate, “Did you want any?” He asked, but Spock shook his head, his lips pinched together.

“I can never get him to eat anything!” The nurse said in fond exasperation. 

Jim wasn't buying it. Spock looked hungry enough to pounce and take the food from his hands.

“How about a fry?” he asked warmly, picking one up and offering it to him.

Spock’s now completely black eyes looked down at the offered morsel then back up at him. Jim shivered. For some reason, he felt like he was luring a wild animal to come and eat from his hand.

“I do not-” he paused briefly, “require sustenance at this time.” His words came out sounding strange and his face morphed into a perfect blank mask.

Jim was slightly worried he might have offended the Vulcan somehow. 

Was Spock maybe realizing that this human friendship might not work?

“Well, Thanks for thinking of me, Spock,” Jim said quickly, trying to cover up any social etiquette mistakes he might have made. “This tastes really good,” he said, taking another bite. “I’ll probably be asking for another one of these in a few hours.” He said with his mouth full.

“Don't talk with food in your mouth,” Bones admonished, as he grabbed a few of Jim's fries for himself.

“You are welcome, Jim,” Spock replied, watching Bones eat from his tray. An irritated expression slowly crept back onto his face.

Jim finished his sandwich in record time, and Bones was already trying to shoo Spock and the nurse out. “Okay feeding time’s over, get out.”

“Dr. McCoy, might I suggest taking on nurse Chapel as an assistant? She is highly qualified and you might not be familiar with all of the Enterprises equipment.” Spock said not having moved a foot from Jim’s biobed.

The nurse seemed to beam at his praise. “Oh yes! If you would like Dr. McCoy, I would be more than happy to provide any assistance you might need.”

Bones glanced around the med bay looking at the machines. “Fine.” He huffed.

“But you,'' he said pointing to Spock “You can get out.”

“I see no reason for me to leave if Nurse Chapel is to remain. She will be needing the supervision of an armed officer in this room since you are technically not a member of the Enterprise crew. I can stay to supervise or I can go and retrieve an officer stationed outside the door, but since I’m already here it would be the most logical choice to have me stay.”

Bones snorted, “Fine!” He said in exasperation. “We’ll all stay and watch Jim be thoroughly examined, everybody happy? But stay out of the way, you may be a commander but Jim’s still my patient, and he deserves his confidentiality. Go stand in a corner or something. Now, Nurse Chapel if you could please get the multi-fiber X-ray unit ready.”

Spock nodded and then actually went and stood in a far corner of the med bay.

Bones watched him leave too, and when he thought the Vulcan was far enough away he leaned over Jim in the guise of helping him lay flat on the biobed, “If I didn’t know any better I’d say that Vulcan didn’t want to leave you alone. Do you think we can trust this guy?” He muttered.

Jim’s eyes flicked to the Vulcan and then back.

“I do Bones. He’s become a very good friend of mine.”

Bones pressed a few buttons on the wall next to him. “Okay, whatever you say.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the late update. My professors dumped 3 papers on me because we as students are just "sitting at home."

Spock stood in quiet awe as he examined the inside of Jim's escape pod, which had a large stress fracture down the center. If they had not beamed him aboard when they did, Jim would most certainly be dead.

His t’hy’la asphyxiated by space. Spock clenched his jaw. He did not even want to entertain the idea.

Staring down at the makeshift chessboard that Jim had soldered into the metal floor, something akin to fondness entered his mind as he thought of playing chess with Jim’s food rations. Illogical, yet ingenious. 

It was surreal to walk in the pod, having only seen it from a security camera's perspective. Spock began noticing things that Jim had done to ensure his survival that had not been so evident on camera. The water tank lined with an anti absorbent mesh Jim had torn from the bio suits, sealed off compartments holding more food rations to prevent him from overeating his food supply, even altering the life support conditions to begin tapering off slightly to conserve the energy of the pod the longer it was active.  
Impressive feats that Spock was certain others would have never thought of. His t’hy’la was a brilliant man of both mind and body.

And oh his body.

As he thought of Jim, he felt the now familiar pull, only this time it was not just in his mind, his body stirred in new ways as well. Spock had to physically stop his feet from taking him across the ship, down nine decks and find Jim. He had been able to control his body’s last reaction to a flare of lust, but now that Jim was on board and he had actually embraced the man, touched him, held him in his arms, it was difficult to temper.

Spock did not want to be here collecting data from Jim’s pod. He wanted to be down in the brig where Jim had been placed after his physical, but Pike had ordered him and the Scotsman to collect data, for the impending trial, hoping something might help Jim's case, and so he had no choice in the matter. 

He gave a barely audible sigh and walked over to the data bank and initiated a link between the pod and the PADD in his hands. He would download the log entries, security footage, pod readings, and Jim's book project. 

While he waited for the download, Spock thought of his brief interactions with Jim. At first, he had just felt nothing but relief when Jim had been in his arms but soon after multiple intense emotions had begun to plague him. Sharp and irrational anger at being separated by his arrest. Possessive, territorial behavior when he had been patted down by the admiral's officers, and slight despair at being told to “get out” from Jim’s exam room. 

He had been glad he had found a way to regain entry, by using Nurse Chapel as an excuse. Although she thought it had been kind of him when he suggested getting Jim food, his reasons had been purely selfish. He wanted to be next to Jim.

His relief at being able to find a way back into the room was quickly replaced by lustful filled thoughts when Jim had come around the corner cleaned up and wearing a thin medical gown, which was not tied correctly in the back. The man looked a bit worn and tired, his skin red from dermal regeneration treatments but to Spock, he looked beautiful. 

Desire had risen inside him and his stomach had clenched. Jim’s body had been silhouetted by the medical bay lighting and the shadow of his muscular form was prominent in his every move. He wanted to go to him. He wanted to peel back the medical gown and place his hands on Jim’s no doubt sensitive flesh.

He had never really experienced attraction before, for male or female. But Jim seemed to be the exception. When Jim had unknowingly licked his fingers while consuming his food, Spock had felt a boiling heat rise in his chest and a tight tension curl throughout his body. Jim could not have known that Vulcan hands had the potential to be erogenous zones and that licking one’s fingers was considered a lewd act. The man had simply been eating. 

And then Jim had offered him a fry. With the very fingers, he had just licked.

He had never experienced such a lack of control, he wanted desperately to take it, but he was afraid that if he came too close to the biobed he would not have been able to stop whatever action he would have done next.

Spock shivered. He was unused to these thoughts and he blamed the bond that so desperately wanted to be completed.

He needed to control these new and demanding urges. He had erected mental barriers around the bond to try and control some of the urges it was giving him, but the pull in his mind was becoming a bit painful and for now, he would have to endure it. 

The PADD beeped indicating that all the data files had been transferred and Spock turned around hearing a slight clang. Looking down he saw a long metal pipe sticking out from underneath one of the seats. This must have been the pipe that Jim had used to try and smash open his pod's window. He leaned over to pick it up but then noticed that there was dried blood on the end. This also must have been the pipe used to knock Jim unconscious before he was placed in the pod.

Spock straightened and waved over a technician who was wearing the proper equipment for gathering evidence and pointed out the pipe. He watched as it was bagged and placed with other small bits of evidence. Nothing of consequence had been found yet.

He leaned down to inspect further under the seat when the technician stopped him. “Be careful Sir, there’s Tritortyol under there.”

“Tritortyol?”

“Yes. These new science vessel escape pods are outfitted with a thin layer of Tritortyol as insulation, it’s an added feature that helps deflect gamma radiation from stars. We’ve cleaned most of it up but we haven't got everything. If you get it on you, it can result in painful and itchy irritation and it's poisonous if you accidentally consume it.” The technician pulled out a light and leaned down next to Spock. Shining the light under the seat, a rainbow-like grease appeared under the effects of the light. 

“Yep there it is. Best leave this to us, Sir.” The technician said as he waved a few more colleagues over to help clean the toxin. 

Spock straightened, with PADD in hand and disembarked from the damaged pod, bringing the data over to the Scotsman who was in the process of compiling the recorded data into one main file.

“Here you are, Mr. Scott,” Spock said, handing over the PADD.

“Oh great! Thanks! By the way would you like a doughnut? Your head engineer Mr. Ramirez brought them in.”

“Not at this time.”

“I’m tellin’ ya Mr. Spock this is the best assignment I’ve had so far! The last place had me eating pellets if you can believe it! Do I look like a fish to you? Now I’m eating a cream-filled cruller! With coffee! Let me be the first to say, you’ll have ta force me out when this is all over.”

“I am gratified that we are able to accommodate you,” Spock responded dryly. “Now if you could show me your progress I would like to be done as soon as possible.”

“Hm!” The Scotsman nodded with enthusiasm, a donut between his lips.

He began pulling up the files on his screen.

“Self-sealing stem bolts?” Spock read on the computer as he raised an unamused brow.

“Ah no, Sorry! Sorry, that’s just a side project I’ve been working on.” The Scotsman hid the file and quickly found the correct one. 

Despite the Scotsman’s odd ways, Spock was pleased to see that he was a very organized individual. He showed Spock the file and ran through the data entries, aligning stardate records with records compiled by the Enterprise computer, the Escape Pods computer and the recovered bits of data from the USS Star Markers Computer.

“And this is the Signal I used to enhance the connection between your computer console and Mr. Kirk's communication device. Now here’s where I began using my probes outfitted with the differential magnetometer so we could search for the elements of Mr.Kirk's pod and-- wait a minute, hold on, what's this…?”

There was a little yellow alert going off under the probe data. “It looks like my probes have detected another escape pod. I haven’t had a chance to recall them back to the ship, so they’re still out there collectin’ data. It looks to be the same make and model as Mr. Kirk’s.”

Mr. Scott turned to look at Spock. “If I read the preliminary report correctly, didn't it say that the USS Star Marker recorded two launched escape pods before it was destroyed? Looks like we just found the other pod.”

Spock pinched his lips and watched the Scotsman pull up an image from a probe. It was another escape pod. The very same kind as Jim’s but this one was undamaged.

“Why, It's jus’ outside the ship! I wonder why we did no’ detect it before?”

“Scan for life signs,” Spock commanded.

Mr. Scott's fingers flew across the keyboard. “No there's nothin’. No ones aboard. It's not even producin’ a distress signal...It looks like it’s been shut off. Perhaps the ship had launched it due to an error. I don’t even think we would have even spotted it if I hadn’t just checked my differential magnetometers.”

Spock wondered what this could mean.

The evidence they had previously uncovered, before rescuing Jim, had pointed to a possible third person being on the ship before it had been destroyed. The mystery of Captain Macintosh's second attack that killed him was affirming this hypothesis. Spock had once believed that Jim and the mysterious assailant might have been working together, but that conclusion seemed so long ago. Now, he did not believe Jim’s involvement was anything other than a victim of circumstance. It simply was not in his nature to harm another unjustly. He knew this because he had seen it in the man’s mind.

But now they had found the missing escape pod. Did the third party use it to escape somehow? This third party might be the real person responsible for Captain Macintosh’s death. If they found him it would exonerate Jim.

“Mr. Ramirez,” Spock called out to the head engineer who was over in the corner talking to a few of his crewmen.

“Yes, Commander?”

“We have discovered another escape pod, it is void of life signs but I would like you to tractor beam it aboard and examine it further. When that is complete, begin scanning it for possible DNA evidence. I am not completely convinced that the pod was just launched by a computer error. I will inform the Captain of our discovery.”

“Yes, Commander.”

Spock turned back to Mr.Scott, only to find him arguing with the Rolyan about something, which seemed to be a common occurrence between the two. 

“Oi, you wee devil! Where did you get this?”

“Found,” Keesner grunted.

“Oh just like you found Mr. Spock’s meditation stone did you?”

“No! No! Found! In the transporter room! Mine now!” The Rolyan gurgled a grunting noise Spock presumed to be defensive. 

“You just happened to find a subsonic re-router unit lying around the transporter room? Likely story ya wee man, these aren’t even Starfleet issued. Wait a minute, did you pinch this off of that Davis man?”

Spock's head snapped to the side, his eyes zeroing in on the device in Ensign Keesner's hand. “Mr.Scott why would you believe this tool belongs to Frank Davis?” he asked, stepping closer.

The Scotsman blinked in surprise. “Oh, I talked to him. Yeah. Said he had an auto shop back on Earth. They probably use this type of subsonic rerouter unit, since it's a lower grade, and more publicly available than Starfleet tools.”

“If I may ask, when did this conversation occur?” 

“He wandered in the engine room late the other night. Said he was jus’ hav’n a look. But can ya blame him? That engine room is bute.”

“Mr. Scott, did Mr. Davis have any guards accompanying him?”

“Uh...not that I can recall...I was in the middle of setting up the photon torpedoes for Mr.Kirk's rescue. Why? Is he dangerous? He seemed fine to me.”

Spock’s brows lowered in a frown.

“Did he touch anything? He may have been the one responsible for activating the subroutine which almost killed Mr. Kirk.”

“No. No. He didn’t even come all the way into the engine room, jus’ stood at the entrance, he didn’t even ask what I was working on. We just had a brief chat and then he asked where the transporter room was.” The Scotsman scratched his chin and turned to the ensign, “Maybe you did find it in the transporter room.”

“I told you! Found.” Mr. Keesner croaked indignantly.

“The transporter room? And did you question why he needed to go there?” Spock persisted.

The Scotsman gave him an incredulous look “I’m sorry Sir. I didn't think to ask. People get turned around on ships all the time and since I'm not privy to every tea party held, I just told him where it was and he left.”

Spock cocked his head to the side, looking at the small red unit in the Royaln's hands. “May I see that.” 

Ensign Keesner shied away clutching the object close to his chest.

“No take! Mine! I found it!”

“Ach, just let the commander look at it lad.” Mr. Scott said offhandedly picking up another doughnut.

“I assure you, I just wish to see it,” Spock said patiently.

“Only look then. It’s mine!” He held out his dark little hands and displayed the subsonic rerouter unit. It was scratched up and clearly regularly used. Spock noticed tiny yellow lettering that said Davis Auto on the very bottom. This did indeed belong to Frank Davis.

“Ensign Keesner, may I propose a trade? The subsonic re-router for my meditation stone.” With all the chaos happening Spock still had the stone within his pocket.

The Ensign's eyes shifted back and forth in thought before he grunted and gave a nod. “Trade.”

Spock took the stone from his pocket and handed it over to the Royaln’s eager hands, and in return, he received the unit.

Spock clenched the unit within his palm.“Mr.Scott, you and Commander Ramirez oversee the examination of the new pod. If you’ll excuse me.” 

Spock marched down the hall to the turbo lift and found himself in the main transporter room.

He walked in and found Ensign Lucas reading a PADD at his station. He did not blame the ensigns who read while on transporter duty. The shifts were long and could be extremely uneventful while the Enterprise was not on a current mission.

He walked over to the main station. “Ensign Lucas.”

The ensign yelped in surprise and threw his PADD. “Commander! I-I was not informed of a visit or inspection, um, how- how may I help you?”

“I would like to know if you saw Mr.Davis or his attorney wandering down here unattended at any time.”

“No Sir. I have not seen them since we first beamed them over from their transport shuttle.”

Spock nodded. “I would like to take a look at some security footage.” Mr. Lucas nodded and pulled up the correct screens then stepped aside to give Spock access.

Spock scrolled through the footage carefully and began with the first day Mr. Davis and his attorney had arrived. He watched carefully as they transported aboard right after Dr. McCoy, and then he watched a fight break out between the two as the doctor recognized who he was and lunged for the man, landing one good punch in before security separated the two and they were removed from the transporter room.

Spock could not help but slightly approve of Dr. McCoy‘s actions.

He scrolled through more footage but he did not come across Frank Davis again. He reviewed the footage over and over, but found nothing, until his seventh review when he noticed footage from a security camera was clipping.

He pulled up the subroutine and found 5 minutes and 35 seconds had been scrubbed from the data banks.

“Computer can you recover the 5 minutes and 35 seconds edited from this feed?”

**Unable to obtain a corrupted file.**

Spock looked at the roster to see who was on duty for that shift. 

“Mr. Lucas, it says that you were on shift when the security footage was edited. Can you explain why this footage has been tampered with?”

Ensign Lucas, who had been watching Spock's search, squeaked at the question.“I don’t know Sir”, he said earnestly, “I never left my post!… Er, well I did leave my post for a few minutes, but only because Mr. Scott had sent over the transporter instructions for the rescue mission requesting that we modify our particle chambers so it wouldn’t interfere with the tractor beam.”

The ensign quickly pulled up the orders from Mr. Scott and Spock reviewed them. He was telling the truth. That meant the room had been unattended for that brief amount of time. Giving Frank Davis the opportunity to do something and then scrub the footage.

But...what? Was it possible that the older man could have tampered with the photon torpedoes signal from here?

Spock pulled up more data from the computer banks but nothing was sent or received. Nothing obvious anyway. 

“Ensign Lucas, I have an assignment for you. Look through all of the transport subroutines meticulously and let me know if you find any discrepancies around 27 hours ago.”

“Y-yes Sir. What type of discrepancy should I be looking for?” 

“Mr. Kirk’s rescue attempt was almost foiled by an uploaded subroutine signal that had thrown off one of the photon torpedoes. I believe the signal may have been sent from here.”

The ensign nodded pulling up his own screen and began the arduous task of searching.

Spock reviewed the security footage again, this time looking for ensign Keesner. He spotted the ensign running back and forth diligently completing tasks throughout the transporter room for 45 minutes before he watched the ensign stop to pick something up off the ground just off-camera. It was right in the area the security camera footage was clipping. The Rolyan seemed to examine whatever he had picked up briefly before pocketing it and continuing on with his assignments. That must be where the unit was found.

Spock wandered over to the estimated area where ensign Keesner had found the unit on the security camera and found a control panel slightly ajar having not been closed correctly as if someone had haphazardly shut it in a hurry.

It was the panel that held the transporter memory, and the DNA records of all things beamed aboard.

Spock opened the panel and discovered crosshair scorch marks on the circuit board. He pulled out the subsonic re-router unit from his pocket and looked at the tip where the laser was produced. It was the same pattern. This was the same unit that had been used to hack into the panel.

So Frank Davis was indeed here and not only that, he had deleted security footage, and the record of someone beaming aboard. 

That meant there was a stowaway on the ship.

Who could he have beamed aboard?

Spock thought back to the empty escape pod they had just discovered outside the ship. Could he have beamed aboard the passenger?

Someone like the assailant that had killed Captain Macintosh? Could the two incidents be related?

It was certainly within the realm of possibility.

“Commander Spock, I- I found something.”

Spock walked back over to the control panel of the transporter room where Ensign Lucas was pointing at something on the screen.

“I-It looks like a correction path subroutine to a photon torpedo was sent from a backchannel only used by Captains. That's why you couldn’t find it, Sir. But the subroutine looks like someone had also tried to delete it, or at least, mask its origin point.”

This confirmed it for Spock. Frank Davis was indeed the one who had sent out the signal trying to cause Jim’s rescue to fail.

He wanted Jim dead.

But there was a problem with his theory, 5 minutes and 35 seconds was not enough time to transport someone aboard, erase their identity from the computer and then launch a corrupted subroutine to throw off the path of a photon torpedo. Whoever Frank Davis had beamed aboard must have helped him with the sabotage.

But that did not make any sense.

If Frank Davis wanted Jim dead and he was receiving help from a mysterious assailant, then why did the assailant save Jim on the USS Star Marker by putting him in an escape pod before it’s destruction?

He was missing information. Something else was going on here.

He clenched the subsonic re-router unit in his hand. Perhaps it was time for Spock to meet Mr. Davis.

\---------------------------------------------------------

Spock, having sent his collected data about the correction path subroutine for the photon torpedo to be analyzed by Mr. Scott, he approached the quarters he knew Frank Davis and his attorney resided in. Nodding to the stationed security officers, he pressed the door alert and waited.

The door swished open and Frank Davis stood there in a denim jacket and light blue jeans smiling politely. He was clean cut with gray hair combed back. Dulling blue eyes, with creases in the corners, looked out from under similarly gray eyebrows. If Spock had seen him on the street, without knowing who the older man was, he would have thought him to be quite respectable. 

“Yes? May I help you?”

This was the first time Spock had been able to examine the man who frightened his t’hy’la. A man accused of damaging Jim both mentally and physically, and so he was uncertain at what to expect. Although one thing Spock was certain of was that this man had somehow sabotaged Jim's rescue. He just had yet to prove it.

“Mr. Davis an ensign has discovered an item of yours just outside the transporter room. I am here to return it.”

“Something of mine?” He asked, surprised.

Spock held out his hand presenting the little red unit.

The man squinted before taking out a pair of glasses from a chest pocket and placing them on his nose. “Oh wow, would you look at that? I must have dropped it when I arrived here. I’d lose my head if it weren’t attached to my body.” He gave a soft chuckle. “Thank you for returning it. You know I used to work in Starfleet when I was younger, and we’d find guests things everywhere.”

This was an act. The man was trying to appear as harmless as possible.

Spock tersely nodded and the man reached for the unit. Through the brief contact of their hands Spock could tell that despite the man’s external calm demeanor, he was extremely nervous about having his device returned.

“Mr. Davis I would like to remind you that wandering the Enterprise unescorted is prohibited. Please refrain, otherwise, you might be blamed for mishaps. There was a stationary control panel that has been tampered with using what looks to be your unit.” Spock leveled him dead in the eyes, unblinkingly.

“Is that right?” The older man’s voice seemed to lose its softness, taking on a slightly hard edge. “And just what are you implying, Vulcan?”

“My implications are that if you are not careful. Mr. Kirk will have a cellmate.”

Of course, Spock would never allow that to happen. He would not allow this man anywhere near Jim if he could help it. 

“Ah yes. My no-good stepson. Heard he killed his Captain. Such a shame, but I’m really not surprised. Jimmy’s always been on the wrong side of the law. I tried to raise him right while his mom was off-planet, but after a certain age you can only do so much.”

Spock clenched his teeth at the man’s usage of the name “Jimmy.” He thought back to the innocent boy in Jim’s mind covered in markings.

“Indeed,” Spock said through tight lips.

“Course he’ll end up dead one of these days. Jimmy never knew when to quit, always had somewhat of a rebellious streak in him, in fact, he stole my 1965 Chevy Corvette convertible when he was only 12, got into a high-speed chase with local police, then nearly died when he barely managed to jump out, as he drove the thing into a nearby quarry.” 

Spock looked on unimpressed. He suspected that Frank Davis might have told this story to others as a way to gain sympathy for himself, having already mentioned that he was the lone parent left to rear Jim as a child while his mother was off-planet. It seemed very rehearsed. 

Manipulative.

“Suffice it to say, Jimmy will end up dead someday. Probably by his own actions.” He nodded sadly to himself as if he was the one being greatly affected.

“If that day ever comes I am certain you will receive great benefits,” Spock responded as stone-faced as possible, but the words felt like dirt on his tongue.

Frank Davis seemed to realize at that moment that he was trying to gain sympathy from the wrong type of person and that Spock, in human terms, was not buying what he was selling. The older man studied him carefully and tensions grew between them.

“Yes well, I suppose I will.” He cleared his throat trying to seem uncomfortable, but his eyes held an unapologetic look. “Anyway I’m sorry if I caused you any trouble in returning this,” he held up the unit in his hands. “If you’ll excuse me.”

He turned away and the cabin door swished in Spock's face.

Spock turned away from the door and found himself making his way down the hall to a wall panel that resided in a nearby rec room and called up to Pikes ready room.

“Pike, here.”

“Captain, I need to discuss something with you.”

“Spock, I was just about to comm you. I need to talk to you as well. Head on up to my ready room.”

Spock began to make his way to the turbo lift when he felt a slight wave of dizziness hit him, he stumbled slightly but then he was fine. He did not feel anything anymore. He checked his constitutions but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Perhaps he should be resting. He was coming up on his limit for no sleep. Meditation could only take him so far.

No. He could not fail now. Not when he suspected that a possible stowaway on board that could connect Frank Davis to everything.

He continued to Pikes ready room. 

When he entered he found Pike sitting at his desk doing paperwork. 

“Oh good, there you are,” Pike said as a way of greeting him. “Get ready to be underway, we are leaving this area. Starfleet does not want to be next to Klingon space any further and so we will be moving Kirk's trial to StarBase Mecca. It’s the nearest StarBase from here. I've already given the helm the coordinates. I just need you to take care of the roll call.” He pushed a stack of papers to the edge of his desk.

“Understood.”

“I've also hired Kirk, an attorney who is willing to take a transport shuttle out to the StarBase. His name is Samuel T. Cogley, attorney at law. If anyone can save him, he can. He'll be paying Kirk a visit once we dock.”

Spock nodded. 

“Now, what did you want to talk to me about?”

“I believe we have a stowaway on our ship.”

Pike who had been in the middle of writing something stopped and looked up, confusion on his face. “What?”

“A stowaway. While down in the shuttle bay collecting data from Mr.Kirk's pod. Mr. Scott discovered another one of the missing escape pods that had been launched before the USS Star Marker was destroyed. There was no one aboard but I had the engineering team tractor beam it aboard in case of discovering further evidence. If you recall my theory of a possible third person being onboard who killed Captain Macintosh and then used the other pod to escape.”

“What makes you think this person got on board?”

“A subsonic re-router unit, belonging to Frank Davis, was found in the transporter room. The unit was used to alter the records of those who were beamed aboard, and security footage was missing, 5 minutes and 35 seconds, and so the perpetrator was not captured on camera.”

“And you think Frank Davis beamed this person aboard and then altered the records?”

“Affirmative. I have also determined, with the help of Ensign Lucas, that the signal that sabotaged the torpedos was sent from the transporter room through a backchannel only used by Captains. The subroutine also bears evidence that someone also tried to delete it, or at least mask its origin point.”

Pike leaned back in his chair mulling over what Spock had just told him.

“And the only evidence we have placing Frank Davis at the scene is his unit? Do you have it with you?”

“I returned the unit to Mr. Davis. I wished to interact with him, to get a sense of how he would react when confronted with the fact that his unit was used to tamper with the equipment. My reading off of him was a nervousness. A sign of guilt.”

“How did he explain the unit’s appearance?”

“He said he must have dropped it when he was beamed aboard.”

Pike huffed.

“Well, he could have dropped it when he arrived. After all, McCoy off and punched him in the face. He could have lost it in the tussle, and someone else could have used it.”

Spock could not believe this response. “Captain my theory is logical-“

Pike cut him off, “Spock, you are the best first officer I have ever had, and I don't want to oppose your theory, but it's all very circumstantial. If Frank Davis really did beam a stowaway on board from this newly discovered escape pod, then you are insinuating that the two events are connected somehow and I just don't see how that is possible. Now while I believe that Frank Davis might have tried to sabotage Kirk’s rescue mission, I need some better proof that he beamed someone onboard other than his unit was used on a control panel. He could have dropped it and then one of our engineers could have used it because they were too lazy to check one out of equipment storage, and the security camera footage could just be a fluke. It's happened from time to time.”

Pike leaned forward in his chair, “Now I've noticed you and Jim have grown close, heck a blind man could have seen it when you two hugged each other in the transporter room, but I need more, Mr. Spock. I know you want to help him. We all do. But without something more solid, my hands are tied.”

“You do not need more.” Spock said indignant, “Captain I need you to trust me. I believe Frank Davis beamed a stowaway on board and I believe it is the same man who killed Captain Macintosh. Mr. Kirk’s life is in danger.”

“Spock-” Pike was cut off by a boatswain whistle from the desk and Uhura's strong voice came through, “Captain Pike, Captain Pike, please respond.”

“Pike here.”

“Sir, you are needed immediately down in the medical bay.”

“Why? What's going on?”

“Apparently Mr. Kirk has been poisoned.”

—————————————

Spock was doing his best to tamper down his emotions. So many of them were raging within him and he felt unstable. 

As Pike and Spock walked into the medical bay Nurse Chapel rushed to greet them.

“What happened?” Pike demanded as she got closer.

“Shhh.” She said looking over her shoulder. “He’s going to be fine, but please keep your voice down. He seems to be suffering from some sort of headache.”

“What happened?” Pike asked at a quieter volume. “Can we see him?”

Nurse Chapel nodded. “As long as you remain quiet.” She led them over to the biobeds and Jim was laying on the same one he had been laying on earlier that day. He was now in civilian clothes, but he looked worse than before.

Dr. McCoy was by his side and Dr. Mites was off in the corner shuffling around. They both turned their heads at their small parties' approach.

Spock’s gut twisted as he gazed down at Jim’s pale clammy face scrunched up in pain.

“I brought Mr. Kirk his dinner down in the brig and he seemed to be in good health at the time. We were talking for a bit and he suddenly just dropped to the ground and began convulsing.” Nurse Chapel said as she looked at Jim on the bed. “Oh, this is all my fault. The food I brought him had been laced with something… I replicated it like normal in the mess hall but then I left the tray alone for a brief moment because I forgot to replicate his drink and went back. I-I never thought…” her voice faded away and she looked on the verge of tears.

Pike looked to Spock. “Do you think Frank Davis did this?”

Dr.McCoy grunted in anger, “Who else would Poison Jim's food? Who else would benefit from his death?” He seethed, “Pike if I see that man I'm going to-”

Spock ignored the doctor. “I was talking with Frank Davis during the time frame this would have happened. I believe this incident solidifies my theory of an assailant on board.”

“Assailant on board? What in the devil are you talking about?” The doctor asked.

Pike began to quietly explain Spock’s theory of a stowaway that might be after Kirk, and the doctor's face drained of color. “So now there's two people trying to kill Jim. Pike, I thought your ship was safe.”

“Spock?” Jim moaned miserably hearing voices. He lifted his hand slightly and reached out not opening his eyes.

Despite all eyes swinging to Spock, he could not ignore Jim's plea. Walking forward immediately he placed his hand in Jims awaiting one. 

They both shivered, but he could feel Jim's relief pour through the contact at having him there. 

“H-hurts,” Jim muttered quietly.

Spock looked at Dr. McCoy and Dr.Mites.

“I gave him painkillers, he shouldn't be feeling a thing,” McCoy said helplessly.

“Perhaps rendering him unconscious would be the best option.”

Dr.McCoy shook his head. “The poison he ingested is Tritortyol, if I give him the medication you guys have on hand he will suffer a reaction that might cause him to lapse into a coma.”

“Tritortyol?” Spock glanced around before he spotted a small light on a medical tool. Picking it up he shined the light around Jim’s mouth, careful not to shine the light directly into Jim’s eyes. A greasy rainbow sheen appeared along his lips and chin, just like it had in the Escape pod.

Dr. McCoy swore and he quickly grabbed a medical wipe and began dabbing at Jim’s skin.

“There may be some on his fingers if he touched the food as well,” Spock said shining the light down to Jim’s fingers, where more of the rainbow grease revealed itself.

Dr. McCoy nodded before he began wiping down Jim’s fingers.

Jim’s pained expression lessened slightly, now that the irritant was gone from his skin.

“Spock, how did you know about the light?” Pike asked quietly from behind him. 

“The USS Star Markers escape pods are outfitted with a thin layer of Tritortyol as insulation, it’s an added feature that helps deflect gamma radiation from stars. It can result in painful and itchy irritation and it is poisonous when consumed. I only learned of such things when a technician showed me this morning as I was collecting data from Jim’s pod. Shining a light on the substance will reveal the rainbow effect of the toxin.”

“So the poison came from an escape pod?” Pike asked.

Spock nodded.

Pike blew out a heavy breath. “I guess someone is trying to kill Kirk. But if you were talking to Frank Davis at the time he couldn’t have been the one to place the poison in Kirk’s food. He didn’t even have access to the Tritortyol.”

Spock waited for Pike to come to the same conclusion he had already reached.

“You were right, Spock. I will put out a search for a stowaway immediately. But it's gonna have to be on the go because we need to leave to make it to Kirk’s trial.” 

Spock nodded not really listening. He could not allow further harm to come to Jim. He had thought that once Jim had been rescued he would be safe aboard the Enterprise. But those beliefs were no more. 

“Captain. I wish to move Mr.Kirk's detainment from the brig to my personal cabin until we can reach StarBase Mecca. He will be safer in my care.”

The doctor snorted. “Why you? Why can’t we just move 'em to my cabin? Who better to look after him than his own doctor?”

“I believe I will be a more viable option in making sure Mr. Kirk is secure. I as a Vulcan have heightened senses and combative training in seven different forms of martial arts, and to make sure he is not poisoned again I would be willing to take a portion of his food before he consumes it. For an additional measure, I will have guards posted at my door, both from Admiral Sue’s team and our Enterprise Staff.”

“So you’re saying you’d make a better bodyguard because you’re Vulcan.” The doctor responded irritated. 

“What I am saying, Dr. McCoy, is that we both wish for Jim’s health to remain unhindered until we reach our destination and I can provide such an environment.”

The Doctor scrunched his eyebrows together in thought as he turned to look at Jim lying still on the bed.

“Well...Jim trusts you… I don’t think he’d have a problem with it. But I want access to your cabin so I can reach him at any time.”

Spock nodded. “Those terms are agreeable.”

They both looked to Pike. 

“Fine with me, I guess. I'll have to update Admiral Sue on everything though.” He sighed. “McCoy if you could let me know of his condition in a few hours.”

Dr.McCoy nodded and they both watched Pike leave the medical bay.

“Well it looks like you have everything under control here, so I’m going off duty.” Doctor Mites abruptly announced as if he had been waiting for Pike to leave. He then turned and left without so much as a backward glance, his tail dragging behind him.

“Your CMO is beginning to piss me off.” Dr. McCoy hissed irritated. “How none of you have died under his care is astounding.”

Spock did not comment.

He looked down at Jim and saw evidence of tear-stained tracks running down his face. He was still in pain.

Spock swallowed. He did not have express permission to do this but he raised his hand to Jim's psi-points and lightly entered the surface of his mind. The temptation to do a full meld was there and the bond in his own mind thrashed against the new barriers he had erected around it. Oh, to drift into Jim's mind would be pleasurable, but he could not do it. Ignoring the pull he so desperately wanted to fall into, he pressed the impression of sleep into Jim's mind and let go.

Jim immediately succumbed to the suggestion and fell unconscious.

“What did you do?” Dr. McCoy asked, slightly alarmed.

“I mentally sent a Psi-signal to his brain, telling him to sleep. It was only a suggestion and his body accepted it.”

The Doctor looked like he wanted to be mad but he just didn't understand enough to gain the heat. “So you used Vulcan voodoo?” He looked down at Jim, and then back up to Spock. “Well, I guess as long as it didn't hurt him.”

Spock looked down at Jim’s sleeping form. “No, I would never hurt him.”

Doctor McCoy studied him. “Are you-”

The doors to the medical bay swished open and two engineers walked in, one supporting the other's weight. “Dr. Mites! We need some help. A power conduit exploded down in engineering and Ensign Kolhr burned herself pretty good.”

Dr. McCoy sighed. “I guess I’m filling in for Dr. Mites. Even though I’m technically not on assignment. Nurse Chapel if you could grab me my dermal regenerator and three CCs of a plaxa Hypospray.”

“Yes, Doctor.” The Nurse chirped dutifully.

“Watch him for me okay?” Dr.McCoy said looking back at Spock.

Spock nodded and watched the doctor leave. 

He turned to Jim’s sleeping form. 

“I will watch over you, while you can not do so for yourself. My T’hy’la.” He whispered to Jim.

And Jim slept on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, your eyes are not deceiving you. I cast Jeff Bridges as Frank Davis. He's always been great at playing unassuming villain characters. He can be soft and then straight-up evil. You could easily see a handsome young version of himself catch Kirks' mom's eye when they were younger.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone, I apologize for the late update, COVID 19 has found its way into my home and it was like throwing a live grenade into my life, as I do suffer from severe heart problems. I am not the one who has the virus, however, my risk of getting it has gone up, and with my heart problems, it's potentially deadly for me.
> 
> My family ran out of food this past week, and Dreamsaremadeofthis, or Goldenteadust as she's known on Tumblr, sent food to my home when I was in desperate need and so this chapter is dedicated to her.
> 
> Thank you.

Spock watched as Dr.McCoy settled Jim’s sleeping form on his bed. He had yet to wake, his body was still recovering from the shock of being poisoned.

He could tell the Doctor cared very much for Jim by the way he settled the man’s arms to his side, and Spock found himself grateful that Dr.McCoy cared so much for his T’hy’la.

“Now I’ll be back to check on him in a few hours,” said Dr. McCoy, turning to him. “If he wakes up before then, give him these two hyposprays and make sure he gets plenty of water. His stomach might be too tender to eat, but if he insists he is hungry, small crackers should be fine.”

Bones blew out a breath and looked around Spock's cabin. “Is this cabin bigger than mine? I didn’t really notice the first time I was here.”

“As commander, my quarters are the second largest next to the Captains.”

“Where will you be sleeping if Jim takes the bed?”

“Vulcans do not need as much sleep as humans. We can go two weeks awake as long as we meditate regularly. I will not be sleeping, but if it will comfort you to know my location in proximity to Mr.Kirk, my meditation mat is over in the corner.”

The Doctor continued to look around, his eyes landing on the indent in his wall. “What the hell happened there?”

Spock was not about to admit losing control and punching his wall. It was a shameful act on his part.

“A minor incident.”

The Doctor looked more closely. “Is that dented panel over a vent? I don’t want debris or dust circulating in the air Jim is breathing. His lungs are still sensitive from his rescue.”

“I will have it replaced immediately. You have my word.”

The Doctor nodded and then gave an opened mouth yawn. He was beginning to look worn down and in need of rest, just like Captain Pike. They were all sacrificing their sleep just to protect this one man. Spock could not help but admire someone who could gain such favor from others. He was honored to be a potential partner to one such as he.

That was if Jim accepted his courtship. 

He knew he wanted to be by Jim’s side—but would Jim want it? To be his mate?

“Alright, you’re all set up. I’m gonna go catch some Z’s.” The Doctor exited his cabin and Spock was finally alone with Jim.

He looked at Jim with tenderness. His head lay peacefully on the pillow, his face softened by the dim lights Dr.McCoy had requested while Jim slept. He noticed with satisfaction the healthy, slightly flushed color of his face, indicating he was doing better. 

Wearing a light blue buttoned shirt checkered in plaid and dressed in simple jeans that hugged his hips provocatively, the civilian clothes he had changed into before being poisoned somehow made him look even younger and a bit wilder without the uniformity. 

Something primitive rose in Spock's chest and he found himself very pleased that Jim was resting in his personal bed. With the additional measure of guards from both Admiral Sue’s team and the Enterprise Staff outside the door, Spock was secure in the knowledge that Jim was safe.

While he waited for Jim to awaken Spock thought now would be a good time to take care of some personal hygiene and grooming. With one last look at Jim, he slipped into the bathroom and undressed to take a sonic shower.

———————————

Jim awoke to the sounds of muffled movements around him. He thought he had heard a sonic shower running but the noise had stopped.

Half awake he peeled open his eyes and stared at an unfamiliar ceiling. 

Where was he?

Completely disoriented. His head was spinning, and his mouth felt paper-dry.

He turned and saw the source of the quiet movement. Spock was in the far corner next to a set of drawers quietly putting on a long-sleeved shirt. The Vulcan’s pale creamy skin seemed to glow in the dim light before it disappeared completely underneath the tight black fabric.

He looked delicious. _No._ His blurry mind complained. _Take the shirt back off._

“I see that you are awake. Would you like some water?” Spock's soft and deep voice came from the darkened corner and it sent shivers racing down his body. He became a little more alert.

“How did you know I was up?” He croaked. 

He really did need something to drink.

“I could hear your breathing pattern change.” Moving like a sleek panther in the shadows, Spock made no sound as he grabbed something and then walked forward towards where he lay.

Jim sat up, gratefully accepting the offered glass of water and after a few sips, he handed the glass back to Spock. His stomach reacted strangely to the cool liquid, and it gurgled a bit, embarrassing him.

“Quick question, where am I?” 

Spock stood next to the bed, prepping what looked to be hyposprays on the end table next to him.

“You are in my personal quarters.”

“Okay, follow up question, what am I doing here?” He asked as his eyes curiously swept the place.

Spock reached out and found his neck pressing in the first hypospray carefully into his skin.

“Do you not recall being poisoned?”

Jim scrunched up his face. “Is that what happened? I was poisoned?”

“You ingested a type of chemical insulation called Tritortyol. It sent you into a convolution, but Dr. McCoy is confident that he has flushed all of the toxins from your system. However, if you feel you are still suffering from the effects tell me, and I will page your Doctor. ” 

Jim thought back to the last time he had eaten. He had been in the brig when that Nurse had brought him food. She had been really nice, giving him a BLT with a side of chips. He remembered the food had tasted a bit weird but he had been too caught up in his conversation with her to really notice. Then he remembered a wave of nausea and dizziness had hit him so hard, it was like the wind had been knocked from his lungs and then… nothing. He remembered nothing.

He looked at Spock a little helpless. “I feel fine but I don’t really remember much. How did the Tritortyol get in my food?”

“It is my personal belief that it was an assassination attempt against your life by a possible stowaway we have on board.”

Jim blinked in utter confusion. “A stowaway?”

Spock pulled up a chair so that he could sit next to the bed. He gently pressed the second hypospray into Jim’s neck before he continued. “There is evidence supporting a theory that a third person was on the USS Star Marker with you and Captain Macintosh.”

Spock began to explain his theory, explaining how he believed there was a third party to the destruction on the USS Star Marker, and how his stepfather, Frank, might be involved. Could Frank really be capable of such a thing? Plotting his death? There were times when he had been younger, he thought the beating he was receiving just might kill him, but he had always managed to escape, never really letting Frank finish what he started.

Jim was quiet for a second after Spock finished speaking. It was a lot to take in.

“I didn't see a third person onboard though. It was just me and Captain Mac.”

Spock nodded, “But someone did kill the Captain.”

Jim frowned, “Spock it wasn’t me. I swear! I didn’t-“

He was so frustrated. He wanted now more than ever to prove that he didn’t kill his Captain. He wanted to show Spock he was a good person. Someone perhaps worthy of dating.

“Jim,” Spock said, recapturing his attention, “I believe you. Even though your DNA was the only one found on his body, someone else did attack him after your initial altercation. But I cannot prove my theory correctly. If there was indeed a third person who was aboard the USS Star Marker, and they saved you by putting you in the escape pod. Why would they beam aboard and try to kill you?”

Jim blew out a breath. “Your guess is better than mine.” He looked down at the bed he was laying on and thumbed the sheets between his fingers. He didn't know why anyone else would want him dead. 

Looking up he found the Vulcan staring at him. “You know, you still haven’t told me what I’m doing in your cabin. Shouldn’t I be in the med bay or something? Or in the brig? I'm still technically under arrest.”

“After coming to the conclusion that your life was in danger, I was able to convince Captain Pike and your Doctor that it would be beneficial for you to stay with me. I, as a Vulcan, can protect you in ways that others may not be able to. I have heightened senses and combative training in seven different forms of martial arts, and to make sure you are not poisoned again I will also be taking a portion of all your food before you consume it. For an additional measure, there are guards posted outside the doors, both from the Enterprise team and Admiral Sue’s officers. Nobody will be able to get to you.”

Jim felt a deep blush spread across his face in embarrassment and he looked away. Half of him was affronted that he was being treated like a delicate princess, and the other half reminded him that it was probably for the best since he had already been poisoned.

So he was basically, back to square one. Trapped in a tiny room again, like the escape pod, with only Spock for company. 

Although he must admit. He preferred this much better than the escape pod.

But Spock eating a portion of his food just in case it was poisoned churned his stomach. He did not want Spock to risk himself for his sake. Before he could voice his concerns he looked up to see Spock studying him with darkened eyes. The Vulcan looked like he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. A speechless Vulcan? All thoughts slipped from Jim’s mind as he waited with a teasing raise of his brows expectantly.

Spock opened his mouth but then closed it again in hesitation.

The movement brought Jim’s attention to Spock’s lips and he could feel the now-familiar lust he associated with Spock, rise in his stomach. 

Maybe Sharing an enclosed space with Spock wasn’t such a good idea, after all, if he was cooped up aroused all of the time he might go mad.

How was this Vulcan so sexy? Jim wondered. Even as Spock floundered to find words, Jim just wanted to straddle his lap. His eyes slowly slid down Spock's frame noticing that the long black sleeved shirt he was wearing accentuated his narrow waist. A waist so perfect he could definitely see himself wrapping his bare legs around it, locking Spock close.

It felt strange, somehow, sitting with him, without the thousands of kilometers of space between them. If Jim wanted he could reach out and touch him. There was this pull…

Whatever spell he was under evaporated when Spock finally spoke.

“Jim I wish to mind-meld with you.”

He blinked in surprise, “Mind meld? Why?”

“After giving the issue some thought, I have come to the conclusion that I am missing information that might help your case and I believe that I will find answers in your memories.”

Jim could feel the blood drain from his face. 

“I don’t know…” he answered apprehensively. He had always wondered what a Vulcan mind-meld would be like, ever since he had learned about them from the Academy, but If he mind-melded with Spock would the Vulcan be able to tell he had a stupid all-consuming crush on him? That he wanted to strip him down and lick every inch of his skin?

That would destroy any type of friendship they had. He remained silent and Spock, having not received an answer, looked down at the floor.

Seconds ticked by, filled only by the faint hum of the engines that every ship had.

“If you are concerned with my half-blooded nature I assure you that I can perform a mind meld admirably.”

Jim was instantly horrified. Was that the impression he was giving with his hesitation? “What?! NO! It's nothing like that! I’m just— I'm just a bit worried at what you’ll see…” Jeez, didn't that sound incriminating as hell, “besides I'm sure it’s a mess in there anyway.” He laughed a bit nervously tapping his forehead trying to play it off like some sort of joke. “I’m not sure you’ll even find anything useful.”

Spock looked up. “I will only view what you show me. I will go no farther.”

His dark, probing gaze searched his eyes, and a shiver ran up Jim’s spine...

“Will you permit me? I only wish to help.” Spock asked tentatively.

He was so sincere, and his deep coaxing voice was so gentle that Jim could only nod.

“May I sit next to you? It will be easier to reach your psi-points.”

Jim scooted to the side making room for Spock to sit on the bed with him.

Once the Vulcan was settled, he raised his hand and laid his fingertips on Jim's skin. He trembled whilst his heart rate and breathing skyrocketed at the contact. Spock's fingers slowly moved into place and suddenly with a sharp intake of breath, Spock was in his mind. 

Jim closed his eyes. Everything Spock was, everything he thought and felt, was suddenly right there with him and it would have been overwhelming, except that it… wasn’t. It felt comfortable, familiar. Really familiar. 

It was like rediscovering a piece of yourself you thought you had lost.

He could hear Spock’s voice somewhere echoing through his skull. “Think back to when you first suspected something odd might be taking place. Picture the memory clearly, so that I can see it.”

Jim’s mind instantly thought of receiving the Star Mapping assignment. Suddenly the landscape of his mind changed to the bridge of the USS Star Marker and he looked around astonished, it was like he was on a set of the real thing.

Spock stepped up next to him and Jim jumped surprised to see the Vulcan there.

“How are we here together? You've never been on the USS Star Marker.”

“I have given us corporeal forms so that we may traverse this mental space, but we are only viewers to your memory.”

It was a little bit disorienting but Jim couldn’t help but be amazed.

He instantly wanted to explore but his attention was drawn when he heard the sound of his own voice.

“Star Mapping Sir? Why would you want me to do that? We have a whole department full of highly trained scientists dedicated to only Star Mapping.”

He looked to see himself standing erect next to the Captain's chair holding the roster for the crew rotations.

Captain Macintosh, turned to look at his memory self and smiled. He was exactly how Jim remembered him. An older man in his late forties with a silver cropped haircut like his. They were the same weight and height, but Mac’s deep green eyes were framed by the beginnings of slight wrinkles. He looked good for his age and kept in great physical shape. Jim had sparred with him a few times and he knew the strength hidden under his Captain’s garb.

Macintosh got up and walked towards memory Jim, placing a hand on his shoulder to guide him to the turbo lift.

“Now don’t tell me you can’t handle this one little assignment?” Captain Mac said with humor.

“I just don’t understand-“

“Just follow my orders, you don’t need the details. It’s just for today, James.” As they reached the turbo lift, Captain Mac’s hand slid from his shoulder down his back to the base of his spine, resting in the dip.

Jim suddenly felt indignation permeate around them, but it wasn’t coming from him or his memory. He turned to find Spock watching the scene with a frown.

“Has your Captain always touched you in such a way?”

Jim winced. “No. When I was first assigned to the USS Star Marker, he was nothing like this, but his attitude towards me turned to the realm of flirting about a month ago. But that day was the first time he had touched me so blatantly out in the open.”

Stronger indignation shot through the meld and Jim was slightly taken aback. Spock was angrier about this then he was.

“How else has your Captain touched you?”

“Just pats on the shoulders, and once on the knee during a meeting. The touches didn’t linger like this one and I really didn’t think much of it, because I can be touchy without thinking too.”

“You said his attitude towards you had changed. Can you show me a memory of a previous encounter where he did not behave this way?”

Jim thought back to a moment that had taken place in the science vessel’s rec room and the scene shifted around them.

Memory Jim sat at a table surrounded by a few of the crew from the botany lab. He had been off shift that day and was playing a game of poker to pass the time.

“Ugh, this sucks! I fold. How are you so good at this game Kirk?” One of the crewmen asked.

Memory Jim shrugged, “It's just math and probability.” He reached into the middle of the table to grab his winning pot.

“Hey look,” the crewmen from his left nudged memory Jim, “there goes Captain Mac.”

“Oh? Do you think he’d wanna join our poker game?”

“The Captain? Nah, he hates interacting with the crew.”

Memory Jim stood up, “Yeah but I’m not just the crew, I’m his first mate.”

“Alright, but he's gonna say no man, just wait.”

Memory Jim laughed “What if he says yes this time?” and he quickly ran after the Captain and the scene shifted to the hallway.

Captain Mac was just about to reach the turbo lift before memory Jim caught up to him.

“Captain Macintosh!” 

The Captain stopped and turned around, placing his hands behind his back in a militant manner.

“Commander Kermit.” He acknowledged with a nod.

Both memory Jim and Jim himself pinched their lips together in slight irritation at the usage of the wrong name.

“It’s Kirk Sir.”

“Oh right, Kirk. Was there something you needed?”

“Some of the crew are playing poker in the rec room, would you like to join us?” 

“If you don’t mind I’d like to keep our relationship strictly professional Commander, I do not waste my time with the crew.”

“Come on Sir, Just one game, it will be fun.”

“Mr. Kermit-”

“It’s Kirk Sir-”

The Captain's face hardened.“Kirk, that’s what I said. If you have so much free time, I think you might need to do an extra rotation shift. This is a science vessel and space is no place for games. You’d be wise to remember that.” Ending the conversation he turned away and continued to the turbo lift.

“Yes, Sir,” Memory Jim said dejectedly.

Spock watched memory Jim walk back to the rec room before turning to him. “Jim if I may ask, why did you feel the need to invite Captain Macintosh to a card game when the other crew members stated that he would not join?”

Jim huffed.

“Look I know that space is no place to screw around, but as a crew, we need to rely on each other out here. Interacting with the crew helps build camaraderie. You heard him miss remembering my name. We had worked together for at least three months by this point and he hadn’t even bothered to get to know me. I was his commanding officer, he should have at least tried to put in some effort.”

Spock nodded. “Yes, you humans tend to rely on social interaction to build a bond.”

Jim gave half a smile to Spock’s analysis. “Anyway, you see what I mean by treating me differently? It was like he changed into a completely different person. He went from no interaction at all, to touching me flirtatiously.”

Jim could actually feel Spock thinking. “Indeed, you are correct in your observation that his personality is greatly contrasting from before. You have no inclination of why his attitude might have changed?”

“No clue.”

“Fascinating. If you would go back to the day your ship was destroyed I would like to observe the remainder of the events that took place.”

Jim nodded. “Okay let’s see, I was down in the astrological room for a few hours by myself, which was pretty uneventful. But then I got a summons from Captain Macintosh to report to his ready room.” The hallway around them disappeared and they were back on the bridge. “I remember walking in and everyone seemed to be on edge,” Jim turned to see himself exiting the turbo lift and stopping to look around. “There was a weird vibe to the room and I couldn't quite place it.” 

His memory self then continued to the captain's ready room and the scene shifted to inside. “I walked in and the place was a disaster.” Just like his description the room was littered with PADDs and paperwork that were strewn about unorganized. The door swished shut and his memory self looked around but didn’t see the captain right away. As he leaned down to pick up some of the paperwork to read, Captain Mac snuck up behind him and placed a phaser to his back.

“James, please don’t move,” he heard from behind, “or I will be forced to shoot.”

Jim cocked his head to the side, the memory freezing. 

“You know this is really weird to watch from a third perspective.” He commented to Spock.

Spock glanced at him but then stepped forward towards memory Jim. “What was on the paperwork?”

“Really? There’s a phaser to my back and you want to focus on the paperwork?” Jim stepped up to his memory self as well, folding his arms in thought. 

He studied his profile and frowned. I mean, sure he saw himself in the mirror every day, but this was different. How many times did one see the side of their own face? Or the back of their head? He looked at his hair. He had styled it like that for a while, was it about time to change it?

“Spock, do you think I should dye my hair dark? Or maybe let it grow out a bit?”

Spock’s attention was riveted to the paperwork in memory Jim’s hands, “Jim please, focus. There are more important matters at hand. These documents appear to be ledgers and financial statements. Judging from these numbers Captain Macintosh was in financial ruin.”

Jim didn’t remember reading that, but then again, he had only glanced at the paper before a weapon had been shoved against him.

“How am I remembering what's on a piece of paper I only saw once?” he asked confused.

“Your brain has to process all of the incoming sensory data you see when you look at things. Your memory recall is everything you have ever experienced within your mind. Nobody ever forgets anything. Everything we experience in our lifetime makes an impression and we store it away. When people say that they do not recall something it is because they can not access a certain memory at a certain moment. I am currently helping with your recall process, as we relive the memory together.”

“Huh.” Was all he could say. Vulcan mind melds were kind of cool.

“These are gambling debts,” Spock remarked, his eyes still scanning the paperwork.

“Gambling?” Jim suddenly felt bad about inviting him to play poker, and since his thoughts weren’t private Spock chimed in.

“You could not have known if your captain had a gambling addiction. However, your invitation may have provoked a relapse if he was in recovery.”

Great, now Jim really did feel bad. But then again as he looked at the scene of himself held at phaser point, maybe not.

“Continue your memory Jim, I believe I have gathered all I could from this moment.”

Jim watched the memory jump start, like pressing play on a holovid.

Memory Jim dropped the paperwork and held up his hands in surprise. “Captain?” 

The captain seemed to be breathing hard. “Please James, if you want to live, do exactly as I say.” he pushed Jim forward with the end of the phaser. “Now, you are going to sit here while I order the crew to begin disembarking and abandon ship.”

“Disembark? Where? What are you talking about? We are in the middle of the Halon Sector, there are no planets nearby. Captain, if we’re in trouble I’m your second in command, whatever it is, we can figure this out together.”

“No. Now sit. Please, James, try to understand I’m trying to protect everyone in this situation. Trust me.”

Memory Jim sat in the Captain chair confused. He did not know what was going on but if the Captain was trying to save the crew, then Jim could not argue. 

Captain Mac kept the phaser trained on him but leaned over to press his comm to the entire ship. “Attention crew, we have an emergency that I cannot disclose. I have moved the USS Star Marker into the orbit of a small M class planet where we will begin to evacuate. Please follow the correct procedures and abandon the ship. Captain Macintosh out.”

“Captain-” Jim tried again.

The phaser was suddenly raised to his head. “Not another word.”

He was sweating, his face pale as if in fear. His green eyes darted around the ready room as if he was paranoid someone might hear him.

“Listen to me, James. You and I are going to sit here for thirty minutes while the crew disembarks. Do not talk or you will risk everything.”

Jim turned to Spock. “And we sat there in silence.” He said, his memory speeding up to compensate for time. Neither he nor the Captain moved from their positions.

Finally, the memory slowed down as a crew member called up to the ready room. “This is Ensign Piccolo down in the transporter room, we are ready for the last of us to disembark Captain, we just need you and the commander.”

Without taking his eyes from Jim he answered, “Me and Commander Kirk will not be joining you. Go without us, and then send out a distress signal. That’s an order.”

There was a slight hesitation, “Yes, Sir. Piccolo out.”

After a few moments of waiting, Captain Mac motioned Jim to get up with his gun.

“Now you are going to go to the helm and put in some coordinates.”

Seeing no way out, Jim got up and walked to the bridge, all the while Captain Mac followed with his phaser trained to his head. His eyes darted about, even more, nervous now that they had left the ready room.

He listed off a set of coordinates and Jim typed them into the helm.

“Sir this takes us right along the Klingon border of space.”

“I am well aware of that fact,” Mac said sitting in the captain's chair.

Spock and Jim watched as his memory sped up once more to compensate for time until they arrived at the Klingon Border.

After bringing the Science vessel to a full stop Capitan Mac leaped from his chair and collected Jim with a gun. “Alright, James lets go.”

Still at phaser point, Captain Macintosh led him through the ship to the emergency bay, constantly looking over his shoulder as if he was sure someone was following them. They came to an area where the escape pods were located, and not paying attention, Mac tripped over some equipment left out by crewmen who had been working in the Jefferies tubes. Jim took the opportunity to act by twisting around and disarming his captain. 

Suddenly he was the one pointing the phaser.

“Okay, Macintosh, tell me what’s going on. I want the truth, is someone after us? Why do you keep looking around and why are we on the border of Klingon space?

“I can’t tell you the truth. Just please trust me! I'm doing this for us!”

“For us?” Jim asked, confused.

The memory froze and embarrassment began to fill the mental space. Jim knew what was coming and he wasn't sure he wanted Spock to see it.

“Spock do we...um, do we have to watch what happens next?”

Spock studied him curiously. “That is why we are here. To review your memories.”

Jim’s discomfort grew.

“You are embarrassed.” Spock observed feeling his emotions, “Why?”

Jim did not even want to thoroughly finish his thoughts, because then Spock would know. He looked away. He really didn’t want to remember this in front of Spock.

“You are trying to hide something from me,” Spock stated, and Jim could swear he felt hurt coming from Spock’s mind. “Do you not trust me?”

Jim cringed. “No, I trust you. That isn’t it.” His honesty rang out through the air and Spock’s face softened towards him.

“Then you have nothing to fear from showing me this memory.” He reminded him.

Jim relented. Spock was right. If they were going to find any evidence to help him out of these murder charges, and possibly prove of a third person had been onboard, then Spock would have to see everything.

The memory resumed and Jim had to relive the moment of Captain Mac grabbing him and forcing a kiss on his mouth.

Anger flared from Spock's mind but his voice was calm when he asked, “Are you embarrassed because he was male? Do you prefer only the opposite sex?” 

He looked at Spock anxiously. Now it was Jim's turn to feel like Spock was hiding something, but the Vulcan was much better at shielding his thoughts in the meld then he was.

“No! It’s nothing like that. I've had a boyfriend or two, but I'm just embarrassed…that you had to see it.” He forced his attention back to the memory because he didn’t want to have to explain any further.

Memory Jim shoved the Captain off of him and he sneered, wiping his mouth, “Ugh! What the hell was that Macintosh?!”

“James, I know you might have a hard time coming to terms with your feelings, I know I did. That’s why I can’t let you get hurt. But if we hurry we can make an escape together in one of these pods. I have a house on Risa. We can live there, together, just you and me! But we have to go now.”

There was a loud bang that sounded like something falling over and it was coming from down the hall behind him. This seemed to scare Mac and he looked over his shoulder in fear.

Jim watched his memory curiously. He didn’t really recall any of this, he had been too consumed with looking for the perfect opportunity to escape, but Mac _was_ acting as if there was a third person aboard and he was afraid of them.

Spock nodded showing he agreed with Jim's unspoken thought. “He has indeed been acting like you two might have been followed.”

Memory Jim, taking advantage of Mac’s turned head, made a run for it.

He only made it a few feet before he was tackled from behind causing them both to slam into the nearest wall. Captain Mac had him pinned and he began to restrict Jim’s airflow with his hands wrapped around his neck.

“I recognize this scene,” Spock said, speaking up, “this fight was some of the security footage recovered from the Star Marker’s computers. But from here it looks like he’s trying to make you pass out rather than actually harm you.”

Jim snorted “Yeah okay, tell that to the next few punches I receive.”

Memory Jim broke free and shoved the Captain to the ground, getting in a few good punches before he was thrown off. They both scrambled to their feet and Captain Mac swung out with his left hand. Jim looked surprised as if he had been expecting the punch to come from his right side and he tried his best to compensate, but he took the punch to the jaw, he stumbled back and then lunged forward knocking them both to the ground again. 

Spock held up his hand, grabbing Jim’s attention and the memory froze.

“Why do you look surprised at his punch? I noticed this too on the footage. You seem caught off guard, expecting his punch to originate from his right.”

“That’s because he normally does punch with his right. I’ve sparred with him a few times and he favors that side. I had never seen him punch with his left hand before, so I wasn’t expecting it. Why? Do you think that’s relevant?”

“We shall see.” Spock gestured for Jim to continue and the memory resumed.

“James, just get in the Pod!” Mac grunted, trying to hold Jim down.

“No! You’re insane! Let go of me!” He cried angrily. 

They rolled across the floor knocking back into the equipment Mac had previously tripped on.

The Captain who had ended up on top of Jim grabbed a nearby pipe.

Memory Jim’s eyes grew huge in fear, “No, No! Stop!” He made one last-ditch effort to get away before he was struck over the head and his memory ended. Everything faded to black and Jim was left standing there looking at Spock.

“That’s all I remember. The next thing I know I was waking up in the escape pod. I didn’t know what had happened but I tried to signal for help.”

“As I recall you said you did not want Captain Macintosh to find you and that is why you disguised your distress signal. I now see why you thought that was such a necessary thing to do.”

Jim gave a soft smile. 

He began to look around the space. Without a memory, they were standing in a large black expanse.

“Where are we now?”

“We are still within your mind.”

“Looks kind of empty,” Jim remarked spinning in a circle.

“I assure you it is not,” Spock said, and Jim felt a type of fondness flow from Spock's mind to his. “We are in just one area, there are many others which contain different things.”

He smiled, “Can I take a look around before you end the meld?”

“If that is something you wish.”

Jim felt happy about this. How often did one explore the inner workings of their own mind in this manner? Plus he didn’t want Spock to leave him just yet. He liked Spock in his mind. It felt right.

“I am pleased my presence is welcomed here, even though you held reservations at first,” Spock commented, answering his unspoken thoughts.

The Vulcan did feel pleased, immeasurably so.

Something in the distance caught Jim’s attention.“Whoa, what’s that?!” He walked towards flashes of color, which sort of resembled the aurora borealis back on earth. The colors and shapes grew stronger and morphed into ghost-like images as he got closer.

Lights and sounds of different conversations ebbed and flowed, changing with the different images.

“Are these more memories?” he asked Spock who had followed him.

“They appear to be.” 

“Wow. Is your mind like this?”

“No. You are quite unique Jim.” Spock murmured coming to stand next to him.

“Look!” Jim said, grabbing his shoulder, pointing to a soft memory. “It's the owl tree!”

“Owl tree?” Spock raised a brow.

“Yeah! I grew up on a farm in Iowa, fields, and stuff, but there was this massive tree on the edge of the property where I used to play. Owls would nest there all the time so I named it the owl tree. There was this one really high branch that if you climbed up and sat on it you could see the Milky Way at night!”

The scene shifted around them and the sky grew to a peachy orange color, highlighted with yellow clouds streaking across the horizon. The sun was setting and Jim could already see the fireflies blinking in the tall grass. 

Jim looked at Spock in delight. “A thunderstorm knocked it over when I was around 7, so it doesn’t exist anymore, but it’s amazing that I can see it again. Come here I’ll show you the branch I used to sit on!”

Jim was so excited, he rounded the tree without looking and ran into something. 

It was a kid. Jim stepped back surprised. And it wasn't just any kid. It was a younger version of himself. The kid looked directly up at him and raised a thin finger to his lips. _“Shhh!”_ He hissed.

Jim didn’t know memories could interact with him. When he had shared his experience of the USS Star Marker no one had acknowledged their presence. But wait, this version of himself was older, baring the black eye and bruises he received when he was around at least 12. The owl tree had already been knocked over by then.

Suddenly a young Vulcan child appeared next to them. “I have found you, Jim.”

His younger self groaned and turned back to look up at him with a frown. “Ugh, dude you gave away my hiding place!” 

The kid sighed dramatically and turned back to the young Vulcan standing next to him. He acknowledged the little Vulcan in a nicer, but slightly irked tone. “Okay, you got me. Good Job Spock. I guess I can seek next.”

Jim was surprised and didn’t know what to make of the scene happening before him. 

He looked to the adult Spock standing next to him for an explanation. “Spock?”

The Vulcan child turned to look up at him. “Yes, Jim?” he answered instead of the adult version.

“Oh, um, sorry, I meant my Spock,” Jim said, still bewildered. 

“I am your Spock, Or at least I will be when I am older. But I understand your confusion.” The little Vulcan said blinking in a calm manner, just like he had seen on his adult counterparts face.

Jim’s brows raised and he nodded politely as if he understood what the little Spock meant. “Oh.” Was all he could really say. He leaned back and whispered out of the side of his mouth into the Adult Spock's ear. “Spock, why is there a little version of you in my memory?”

It was his younger selves turn to speak up, “You're in a mind-meld genius you can’t really whisper here, and we aren’t memories.” He explained, exasperated. The kid turned his blue eyes to the adult Spock. “You haven’t told him yet, have you?”

“Told me what?” Jim asked, turning to look between his younger self and the adult Spock who were looking at each other as if they had already met.

“That he’s been here before.” His younger self said pointing an accusatory finger at the adult Spock.

“What? Like in my mind? This is the first time we have ever shared a meld.”

“No. He used the bond to cross over.” 

The little Vulcan nodded in agreement.

“Bond?”

His younger self rolled his eyes. “I don’t have time to do 21 questions with you. You’re seriously cutting into me and Spock's playtime.”

“Vulcans do not play.” The little Vulcan voiced standing up straighter, placing his arms behind his back in a professional manner.

His younger self smiled, exposing a cut bruised lip, and wrapped his arm around his friend’s shoulders. “Come on Spock! Are you saying you’re not having fun?”

The little Vulcan blushed to the tips of his tiny pointed ears and said: “Vulcans do not have fun.” 

“Yeah okay whatever you say, but you still have to hide. Ready? 1, 2, 3,-”

They both vanished and the memory of the farm and the owl tree melted away. Leaving Jim to look to Spock for answers.

A multitude of questions emanating from Jim’s mind began to swirl around them, their force like a physical win, buffering the air as they turned, and his thoughts grew louder and louder.

_Bond? What Bond? What was the little me talking about? Who were they? Me and Spock share a bond? What is a bond? Why was there a little version of Spock? They said he’s been in my mind before, what does that mean? Who were they? Does that mean Spock knows? How could he enter my mind? We have never shared a meld before! What else has Spock seen? Has he seen my thoughts involving him? My fantasies?_

“Jim please,” Spock said, “Be at peace, calm your mind and I will explain.”

His thoughts slowly died out and all was quiet again.

“Yes, it is true I have been in your mind before. Back when you cut off contact with me while you were still in the pod, I became desperate to know if you were okay and so I crossed our shared bond and entered your mind. At the time I did not fully understand that in doing so it would result in my Katra leaving my body and going to yours.”

Jim stared at him trying to understand. “Okay wait, start over. What is this bond thing?”

“It is called a T’hy’la bond. The bond is said to be shared between two souls perfectly compatible in every way. We share this bond. It is unique in structure and is beyond what you would categorize as extremely rare. The word itself, T’hy’la, can not be translated into standard properly. Its meaning encompasses the terms of a friend, brother, and lover. I have explained this to you all before when I was here but you do not seem to recall the experience."

That was a lot for Jim to take in but his mind focused on the word _lover._

 _Lover._ The word sang in his mind. _Lover, lover, lover._

“Yes, that is correct. We have the potential of being mated. I had hoped that you would recall your confession to me-”

“Confession?”

“Yes. In my previous time here you admitted to loving me, but you believed me to be a product of your imaginings.”

A bolt of fear ran through Jim, and it was like he broadcast the emotion with a neon sign and microphone. Had he ruined everything by confessing to Spock? He couldn’t even remember doing it! That is not how one wanted to tell someone else that they loved them. What must Spock think?! He knew this meld had been a bad idea, how could he ever look Spock in the eye again? Had he ruined their friendship?

Jim closed his eyes, as panic threatened to consume him, but he could not hide, Spock was everywhere. 

Spock stepped closer to him and brought his hands up to cup Jim's face. Warmth wrapped around him in a comforting embrace. “Jim,” he whispered softly, “there is no need to be afraid, we are a perfect match and I wish to court you in return.”

Spock opened some sort of mental door and his own feelings for Jim revealed themselves in ribbons of deep midnight blue that glittered like stardust. 

Jim could feel how deeply devoted Spock was to them being together, and how desperately he wanted to be part of his life. Jim’s whole being was flooded with a tenderness he had never experienced before and he tried to calm his mind, but a sob caught him off guard seemingly coming from out of nowhere, then another and another, until he was wracked with them.

“So we’re soul mates? This is a real thing?” he asked, choked up.

“Yes,” Spock assured him, sending waves of his fondness and comfort to his mind.

Jim looked down at the swirling colors encircling them. “Is that the bond?”

“No. But if you wish to see the bond I can show it to you.”

Jim nodded, eagerly, wiping at his eyes. He hadn’t known you could cry in a mental state.

Their environment shifted around them and Jim could now feel some sort of difference. This area felt more like Spock and less like him. It was simple and clean.

“You are correct this is where I keep my bonds.”

“Vulcans have more than one?”

“We are species that rely on a psychic mental structure. There are many different types of bonds. If you look over there you will see my parent’s bonds who are connected to me. I can feel them psychically and they can, in turn, feel me. If I were to reach out to one of them while in danger they would instantly know.”

“Where is our bond?” Jim asked looking around.

Spock placed a hand on his back and guided him forward to a new area not so far away.

A long golden strand drifted about aimlessly. Shimmering as it twisted as if caught in a light breeze. As they got closer, the bond seemed to act on its own and raced to greet them.

Jim looked to Spock before he reached for the strand of dancing gold. It began to glow warm and happy, emanating a feeling that was familiar. He felt a strong tug, similar to the one he had been experiencing whenever Spock crossed his thoughts, and he smiled. The bond curled up into his hand like a cat seeking attention. “It feels like you,” Jim commented.

“And to me, it feels like you. It is a connection that ties us together.”

“Why is it not connected to the ground like your parents?”

Jim could feel Spock becoming bashful. “The bond is not yet complete.”

“Not complete? How do we complete it?”

Spock considered him carefully.“If you decide to fully bond with me, the completion will be sealed through our mating.”

Jim could feel a stupid grin spread across his face. 

“Jim, you must know that this mating will be permanent. There will be no other for me. I know humans believe in separation when they no longer wish to be together, but, I can not do that. Being bonded with a Vulcan will be hard at times, as I have observed from my parent’s bonding, but I need you to understand that if you allow me to court you. It will be for the rest of your life.”

Jim couldn't believe what he was hearing.

“Spock, every time you're near me, every time you enter my thoughts, all I want to do is be with you. Everyone else pales in comparison. I honestly can't see myself with anyone but you. I will let you court me on one condition.”

Spock raised a curious brow, and Jim stepped closer to him. 

“You let me court you back,” Jim said leaning in to whisper in Spock’s ear, “For the rest of our lives.”

Jim watched Spock’s eyes grow hungry with need, and lust began filling the mental space. Jim wasn’t sure if it was coming from him or the Vulcan.

Suddenly a tremor rippled through the air, and Jim could feel Spock grow embarrassed about something.

“What’s wrong are you okay?” Jim asked looking around at the space.

“Forgive me, Jim. We must end our meld, I am beginning to weaken. This is the longest meld I have ever held and we have been connected for five hours.”

“Five hours?! It didn’t feel that long.”

Spock nodded and Jim could feel his presence beginning to pull away. Then they were suddenly facing each other back on Spock's bed. Jim gasped and he could feel dried tears on his cheeks. There was a terrible lonely emptiness, that stole over him. He wanted to be joined with Spock again. He already missed his presence in his mind. He reached out blindly looking to touch Spock in any way possible just to know he was still there.

“I feel it too,” Spock said quietly taking his seeking hand. “It is an aftereffect to such a prolonged meld, but it will not always be this way. When we bond, you will always feel my presence. Even when we are parted.” 

Jim clutched at his fingers and they both shivered.

“I should have not held our meld for that long. You are still recovering from your ailments, but I found I could not stop myself. I enjoyed your mind too much. I will leave you to get some rest.”

Spock tried to get up but Jim stopped him. “Wait…” He said, his throat was suddenly so tight he could scarcely whisper the word. Electricity and heat seared the air, leaping between them, and Jim could still feel the lust he had felt in Spock’s mind. 

Jim reached up and cupped Spock's face quietly asking permission with his eyes.

Spock seemed to be in a trance unable to look away, and they were both trapped in each other’s gaze. Then the Vulcan’s dark glittering eyes, heavy with emotion, flicked down to look at Jim’s mouth and Jim couldn’t take it anymore.

He pulled Spock in and connected their lips together. 

Jim was unprepared for the phaser beam of pleasure that shot through his body as he began to tentatively explore Spock's mouth.

He leaned in closer, sliding their lips together, keeping the kiss relatively chaste, but even so, he heard himself whimper against those irresistible lips. Their shared kiss was so tender, so reverent, he had never experienced anything like it before. Surely this was the type of kiss only soulmates shared.

The kiss was so achingly satisfying that Jim never wanted to come up for air, but It was Spock, not Jim who deepened the kiss and suddenly their tender lip-lock turned into something a bit hotter and Jim’s heartbeat picked up its pace. The Vulcan coiled a hand around Jim’s neck and Jim melted into his lap. Their kiss became more urgent and Jim ran his hands through Spock’s hair, his thumbs brushing over the tips of his ears.

He moaned again unable to control the spiraling heat unfurling in his body.

Spock, in turn, answered with his own small whimper of a moan, as if he couldn’t control the slip from his throat.

That drove Jim wild, and just before Jim could slide his eager fingers up underneath Spock's shirt, the cabins door alarm rang.


	17. Chapter 17

Spock was logical. Level Headed. He knew how to put his own agendas aside for the greater good.

That being said, when his door alarm sounded he did not want to break away from the one he cared for. With Jim’s lips moving against his own, he could have cared less about the interloper. Jim certainly did not seem to want to acknowledge the potential intrusion. His lips sought Spock's own desperately and his hands kept up their wonderful stroking motions down Spock's ribs, eagerly touching him everywhere he could reach.

The door alarm sounded again, and it was like a blast of icy air to Spock's mind. He begrudgingly broke away. Jim was panting in his face and his eyes peeled open to reveal his electric irises were constricted back, heavily dilated with arousal, focused only on him.

Spock was so lost. He knew he needed to pull away but he did not want to. The bond in his mind was painfully thrashing about demanding to be completed.

Jim’s mouth greedily found him again and the man whimpered with need as he brushed his tongue against Spock's lips in a slow and tasting manner.

Spock’s stomach quivered with his own need, and his fingers tightened in Jim’s garments as he tried to rein in some control.

The door alarm beeped several times in succession, and Spock had to tamper down a growl as he broke away for the second time.

“No. Don’t.” Jim pleaded in a hot whisper, “Maybe if we ignore them they will go away.”

Spock gently, if not robotically, reached down and detangled himself from Jim’s arms which had found their way around his waist. “That is most likely your doctor wishing to check-in.” He said in a strained voice.

Before he could give Jim another chance to connect their lips again he got up and made his way to the door. 

Forcing his heart rate down and his face to mold into a perfect mask he answered the door revealing Doctor McCoy and Captain Pike.

“About time.” The doctor muttered, brushing past Spock in a brisk manner. “Hey kid, great to see that you’re awake.” Spock heard as he greeted Jim.

He turned back to look at Pike, who remained in the hall. “Spock, could you step outside with me real quick? I need to talk to you for a moment.”

Spock hesitated only a fraction of a second not wanting to leave Jim alone but he reminded himself that Dr. McCoy was in the room with him, and so he stepped out into the hallway, his cabin door swishing closed behind him. He glanced at the security detail of 4 men outside his door, before he followed Pike a few feet down the corridor, just out of earshot.

“First things first, How's Kirk doing? Dr. McCoy told me on the way down here he was able to purge the toxin from his system.”

“Mr. Kirk is doing well and has been able to rest securely in my cabin.” He affirmed.

“Good.” Pike nodded with relief, “That’s good to hear because what I’m about to say next is basically bad news.”

Spock lifted a single brow as Pike handed him a PADD. “Lieutenant Uhura was able to recover some more video footage from the USS Star Markers computer.” The Captain pushed play and the footage was grainy as it started out but cleared up just enough to show a birds-eye view of Jim holding Captain Macintosh at phaser point. The clip was only a few seconds long, and it held no audio before it cut out again, but Pike was correct in his assessment. This was indeed bad news.

“Captain I would like to inform you that I have done a mind-meld with Mr. Kirk wishing to gain answers from his memories, and I can assure you what you see on that footage is not what it appears to be.” 

“Unfortunately, what it appears to be is Kirk holding his captain at gunpoint incriminating him even further.” 

“Mr. Kirk was the one who was held at gunpoint first. In the moments before this video clip, Mcintosh was the one who held the phaser, but in a brief moment of distraction, Kirk was able to disarm him, gaining the advantage.”

Pike frowned and looked down at the video footage which played on a continuous loop. “I will try and push Uhura to recover any footage before this moment and see if we can’t catch captain Macintosh with the phaser first. But for now, this is really bad for Kirk’s defense. This, combined with the other footage of him fighting with Mac, does not paint Kirk in a good light. We are getting closer to Starbase Mecca, and I’m afraid of uncovering any more evidence that might further incriminate him.”

Spock nodded. It was indeed troubling that the more evidence they gathered the further it incriminated Jim, but sooner or later Spock was confident that they would uncover something to help in his defense. “Has anything else been discovered?”

“Well, we’ve had no other signs of a stowaway other than Kirks poisoning, and Frank Davis, along with his attorney have been quieter than church mice. We did, however, find some DNA evidence from the inside of that second escape pod, indicating that there was a passenger who occupied it for some time. Dr. Mites is running the DNA sequence as we speak.”

Spock tilted his head, mulling over the news. “Captain may I suggest that Dr. McCoy also looks at the sample taken, just as a precautionary measure.”

Pike looked at him and they shared the same unspoken thought. Dr. Mites had become lax at his job and now was not the time for sloppy work, especially with Jim’s innocence on the line.

“Fine. I will ask him to take a look.”

“Thank you, Captain. I am grateful for the updates. Is that all you wished to discuss with me?” 

“One more thing. Do you and Kirk need anything? I know your cabin is large enough for two, and you said you wanted to remain awake so you could be vigilant, but are you sure you don’t want a second cot or anything? ”

Spock quickly checked his constitutions. He was feeling the harsh effects of no sleep, especially after the prolonged meld he had just shared with Jim. But he would be fine once he meditated. 

“Negative. Although I do need to fill out a work order to fix a panel over a vent in my quarters. Dr. McCoy is concerned that dust particulates might irritate Mr. Kirk’s lungs.”

“What happened to the panel?”

Spock just stared at him refusing to answer.

Pike, who knew when he could not get an answer out of the Vulcan when he behaved this way, shook his head. “Fine, I'll get you the work order.”

Spock nodded and they parted ways. He turned around and was about to make his way back to his quarters when he felt a sudden flare of anger from the bond and then it was gone. Concerned he picked up the pace.

\---------------------------------------

Jim had been smiling like an idiot when he watched Spock’s finely sculpted backside leave. A few moments ago he had been wrapped around him like a vine, and he still couldn’t believe he had landed someone so hot.

“What’s gotten into you?” Bones asked with a raise of his eyebrow as he took out his scanner and began running the little reader down his body.

“I’m in love, Bones,” he said stupidly. He could hear the goofy cadence in his voice as he admitted it out loud, but he didn’t care.

Bones scrunched up his face, “In love? With who?” He then followed his line of sight to the door, “with the Vulcan?” He barked out a laugh. “That’s a good one. I'll have to remember that.”

“I’m serious Bones, he's the one I’m gonna marry.”

Bones snorted. “Sure kid. And I’m gonna marry an Andorian, we’ll serve bourbon and Romulan ale at our wedding.” He brought the scanner up to his head, but Jim pushed it away and looked up at his friend.

“Bones, look at me. Look me in the eye. I’m serious, Spock is the one.”

Bones brought the scanner back up to Jim’s head, “The one? Maybe that concussion of yours is worse than I thought.”

“Bones,” Jim said, grabbing his arm, halting the exam, “I have never felt this way about anyone before. I can’t describe it. I just know.”

Bones studied him and they stared at each other for a long moment. “Jim your beginning to scare me. You really think you’re in love with this Vulcan?” 

“There is no thinking. I know I’m in love.”

Bones dragged in a long-suffering sigh. “Jim, I hate to do this, but may I remind you that you can’t love a Vulcan because Vulcans don’t love. They don’t have emotions like you and me. They have been telling us that since their first contact with humans.”

Jim frowned up at him. “No, they can definitely love, and Spock loves me back. He wants to marry me too.”

“And he told you this?” Bones snorted incredulously.

How could Jim explain to Bones that he and Spock were soulmates? That he had seen the bond they shared with his own two eyes. Spock wanted him and he wanted Spock just as bad.

“I know he loves me. We were just making out before you rudely interrupted us.”

Bones looked beyond mortified. “You were not!”

Jim nodded with a slightly smug grin, “He tastes like sin.”

“Jim that’s disgusting! I knew letting you stay in his cabin was a bad idea! I should've just applied the same rules I apply to Joanne’s sleepovers. No boys in the same room until your thirty.”

“You’re being insane Bones, First off, I’m not your daughter, secondly, I used to bring back dates to our dorm all the time, and you never complained then.”

Bones frowned, the corners of his mouth nearly touching his chin, and the mood in the room turned sour. “Yeah, but you weren't planning a wedding with any of them.”

“Well, I am with this one, wanna be my best man?” Jim joked, trying to lighten the situation to one of teasing.

Bones remained frowning, not amused in the slightest. “You’re serious?”

“Yeah.”

Bones crossed his arms and tilted his head in a disapproving manner. “When’s his birthday?” He suddenly asked.

“Uh-”

“When’s his Birthday?” Bones repeated. “What’s his favorite color? How many siblings does he have? Does he want a family? Kids? Where are you going to live? What happens if you’re convicted of murder? Will he still stick around for your jail time?”

Jim’s mouth opened and closed like a fish, trying to come up with answers.

“See you don’t even know him! You cannot marry someone, let alone a Vulcan, you just met!”

“Well, I know his favorite color is blue!” Jim snapped back irritated but he had to admit he only knew that because he had assigned it to him in their color debate.

Bones rolled his eyes, “Oh, well, as long as you know that, you guys should be golden, here let me see your registry and I’ll buy you guys a nice set of _silverware._ ” He said, throwing the words at Jim in anger.

Jim blinked in surprise at Bones’s vehemence.“Why are you being such an _ass?_ ”

“Because I don’t understand where all of this nonsense is coming from! You’ve never talked about settling down before and now that’s suddenly changed within a few days of knowing this Vulcan?! He’s. A. Vulcan.”

“SO?!”

“So??? Jim, think about it. Think. Hard. You can be one of the most caring human beings on the planet, and I’ve seen you go out of your way for hundreds of people over the years, but if you settle down with someone like that, you’ll never get that same loving care in return. I’m just trying to look out for you!”

Jim could feel the heat of his anger boil up underneath his skin. How could he say that about Spock! Spock had plenty of love to give, and he had offered all of it to him. Bones just didn't understand.

“What do you mean lookout for me?! You don’t even know him! All I’m hearing is a bunch of xenophobic comments from you! I’ve found my perfect match and you're not even giving him a chance! I thought you would be supportive!”

“Supportive of what?! This nonexistent fantasy you have somehow concocted between you and this Vulcan? Jim, you’re acting insane! You’ve only known him for a few days! You can not possibly be in love with him. In lust maybe, but in love? Come on Jim pull your head out of your ass!”

Jim reared back wounded. Why was Bones acting this way? He never said anything about his long list of past partners who had been a variety of different species. Why was he being so confrontational about Spock? 

“You know what? Get out!” Jim suddenly shouted in anger.

“You don’t have to tell me to get out, because I'm leaving!” Bones grabbed his things and shoved them in his bag. He stormed his way over to the door and it swished open before he could press the release hatch.

The person of their contention walked in, and Jim saw his friend's face grow a deeper red as he stared him down. “You! This is your fault!” He stormed past Spock, but turned around again and fumbled for something in his pockets.

“Here!” He said shoving a hypospray at Spock. “Make sure he gets a dosage of this every 4 hours.” he glanced back into the room his eyes landing on a panel on the floor. “And fix that damn vent!”

Bones huffed and Jim could actually hear him stomp his way down the corridor as the cabin door swished closed.

Spock turned to look at him in a questioning manner, and Jim folded his arms still heated. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Spock slowly nodded, still looking somewhat confused and set the hypospray down on a nearby counter. “Jim, I am-” he paused and Jim saw him sway faintly before straightening. “I am in need of meditation. Is there anything you need from me before I do so?”

Jim felt his anger quickly melt away as he focused all of his attention on Spock. He looked exhausted, with deep circles under his eyes and heavy-lidded expression, he looked ready to crawl into bed and sleep for a month. “Spock are you okay?” He asked very concernedly. How had he not noticed how tired the Vulcan had been when they had been sitting right next to each other. Spock said he had been beginning to weaken during their meld, but Jim couldn’t help but pull him in for a kiss after they parted. He probably should have waited.

Jim climbed off the bed and walked up to him to cup the side of his face. “Do you want the bed? You can take a nap, don’t worry about me, I’m sure I can find something else to do in your room while you rest.”

“I am in need of mediation that is all,” Spock said kindly seeing Jim worry over him. “But if you are in need of some activity while I meditate, I downloaded your book project from your escape pod to my PADD, and if you wished to see the data concerning the Mletin particle theory, and the tests the computer ran it can be found on my console.” Spock nodded towards a desk in the corner of his room.

Jim smiled up at him. “I guess I could work on my book, but I am excited to see your theory in action though.”

The corners of Spock’s lips twitched and Jim read it as a smile. “Indeed. You are welcome to anything in my quarters, but I ask that you wait to eat or drink anything that I myself have not partaken in first.”

Jim searched his face, “Deal. That won’t be a problem since I don’t feel really hungry at the moment. I think my stomachs still messed up from that poison.”

“If you are still feeling the ill effects I can recall Dr. McCoy.”

Jim frowned. “I'd rather not see him right now. But don't worry I’m fine, just go and meditate and I’ll be as quiet as I can.”

Spock held his gaze for a few moments before nodding and making his way over to what looked to be some sort of mat on the floor. Jim didn’t want to seem intrusive on his meditation practice and so he tried to make himself busy. He found Spock’s PADD and opened up the home screen. Sure enough, his book project was one of the first files to appear. He smiled down at the stupid thing. Should he even continue to work on this? It had started out as a way to keep him occupied in the pod, but it seemed kind of silly now.

He glanced up to see Spock had lit some candles and settled himself in a kneeling position, and Jim couldn’t help feeling endeared to seeing Spock like that. Vulcans needed meditation Jim recalled having learned that along the way somewhere, but he had never seen one in practice. He wondered how long it took.

Pulling his attention back to the PADD in his hand Jim concluded that there wasn't much else to do. Sure he could look at the Mletin Particle data, but he kind of wanted to do that with Spock since it was his theory. So that left the book. On the plus side, he had access to the Enterprises computer data bank now, rather than that limited computer on the pod, so he could look up more information for his Orion heroine Mina.

He found himself in a table chair doing a bit of research on what other fantastical artifacts his main character could discover. It had been a while since he had delved into the world of artifacts. He liked reading science journals but with so many science and research vessels out there, discoveries were being made every day, and it was next to impossible to keep up with everything.

He began flipping through the recent discoveries and missing artifacts page on one of his favorite information websites. Skimming each article briefly before he saw mention of the USS Enterprise catching his eye. Curious Jim opened up the full article, and at the top of the page, the article read: Enterprise Crew given Rare Ztolzeliti Masks. Fascinated Jim began to read that a few short months ago the Enterprise had made first contact with a humanoid species called the Kalzlzeks in the Hallos Quadrant. As a gesture of goodwill, the landing party was given purple gemstone inlaid masks. Jim opened up the images of the masks and zoomed in. They looked really familiar.

Jim glanced up, in fact, he thought he had seen it- yes! There! Over on the far wall, Jim saw the tiny mask propped on a shelf.  
He couldn’t believe it! Spock actually had a mask just like in the article! He must have been a part of the landing party. Jim stared at it in awe, before his gaze was snagged by another item nearby. And then another, and another.

Soon Jim found himself staring at different types of artifacts around the room. They weren’t obvious at first, the way Spock had arranged them, but the more he looked, the more he spotted rare treasures and geological anomalies among different shelving units. A true testament to the adventures he had while serving aboard the Enterprise. 

He was an explorer, just like Jim and his heart warmed to think of Spock on some unknown planet picking up an icy blue crystal and being utterly fascinated by its compound components. If Jim could be assigned to the Enterprise they could go on adventures together. They could start their own little collection of stuff, pooling their findings until their walls looked like a museum.

 _“What happens if you’re convicted of murder? Will he still stick around for your jail time?”_ He heard Bone’s voice remind him in his head.

Jim’s smile fell. Bones was right, he was still accused of murder. What would happen to them if he was found guilty? His heart plummeted. He would be detained somewhere in San Francisco, and Spock? 

He could never ask Spock to stay grounded on earth while he served a jail sentence. That would be like asking him to give up his whole life. The life of an explorer. 

And Spock would stay by his side, even if he was in jail, Jim was certain of it. He had seen the love and devotion Spock held for him in their meld and he knew Spock would remain wherever he was. The very thought horrified Jim, and he loved Spock too much to allow that to happen. 

His head was beginning to pound and he closed his eyes. He was giving himself some sort of stress headache. All he wanted was to be with Spock. To complete that bond they shared. But was that fair to Spock? He groaned and laid his head on his arms folding himself over the table. He felt now more than ever that he had to prove he was innocent, for the sake of his and Spock’s future. With the book project forgotten he began to run through the day of the incident over and over again in his mind, thinking of anything that might help his cause until he actually fell into a fitful sleep right there at the table.

And then he had a nightmare.

He was handcuffed in a detention center, sitting on one side of a glass window staring at a much older version of Spock looking at him from the other side. 

“I brought you an article k'diwa. The USS Enterprise is testing a device that initiates a process of rapid terraforming previously uninhabitable planets so that they can be turned into class M worlds ready for colonization. It is quite a fascinating read. I thought you might enjoy it.”

Jim nodded at him feeling numb.

“It would be such an interesting thing to witness, do you perhaps think that they might release the footage? I would enjoy reviewing such a wonder.” Spock said speaking his thoughts aloud.

Jim’s gut twisted. “Can’t you just request the file from Starfleet now?”

Spock shook his head. “They will not release such footage to me since I am no longer apart of Starfleet.”

Jim’s blood ran cold, his worst fear had come true. By bonding with Spock he had robbed him of a future. “This is my fault...I did this to you. I’ve stolen everything from you.”

Spock smiled at him in a kind manner, the wrinkles of his aged face scrunching slightly around his eyes and he placed his hand on the glass in what Jim recognized as the Ta’al. “Jim, you have stolen nothing from me. I have you and that is all I have ever needed.”

Jim was shaking. How could he say that! He had to be lying! Spock could not possibly mean any of what he had just said, he had to be resentful in some sort of capacity! Jim was not worth throwing a lifetimes worth adventures away for! He was a burden! Nothing more than a burden! 

The scene was so horrendous, Jim jerked up with a gasp, the nightmare having stolen the breath from his lungs. The room was dark and he flailed about touching things around him to make sure he still wasn’t dreaming. 

Comforting hands found their way into his and Jim focused on them. 

“Jim are you well?” Came the calm and soothing voice.

“Spock?” Jim asked, disoriented. He blinked at the figure in the dark. “Lights at ten percent.” He ordered and Spocks room computer obeyed.

He needed to see Spock. Make sure with his own two eyes that he was indeed still there and that he hadn’t aged with stolen youth because of him. When the room brightened, sure enough, Spock sat there next to him looking young and concerned. 

He glanced around at the rest of the room. Everything was where it should have been, except now he was laying in Spock’s bed rather than sitting at the table. Spock must have moved him somehow. 

Jim gave a small self-deprecating laugh suddenly feeling ridiculous although the fear from his dream was still lodged in his chest. “I’m sorry...I uh didn’t mean to bother you.” but he could feel tears streaming out of the corners of his eyes.

“You are not bothering me.”

“Spock, sorry it’s just I...” he started, but then faltered. 

“Jim,” Spock spoke gently and lifted Jim's chin so he would meet his eyes. “You have nothing to apologize for. Do you wish to discuss what has caused you distress?”

Jim gathered Spock’s hands to his chest in a clumsy fashion. “Spock, I love you” He was shaking so bad he feared he would shake right off the bed. “But promise me, **Promise me** , that if I'm convicted of murder you won’t stay behind and wait for me.”

Spock's eyebrows lowered, casting his deep chocolate eyes into shadows, demonstrating further confusion. “Jim-”

“No, listen to me! I know you. I know you would probably stay in San Francisco or wherever I was serving my sentence and you would be throwing away any future you would have had for yourself. You would resent me! You could even grow to hate me by tying yourself down to me! How could you not! Just look at all the stuff on your walls. Think of all the things you haven’t even had the chance to discover yet! ...I don’t want you to hate me… I couldn’t bear the thought of destroying the love you're so willing to give me.” 

Jim's tears would not stop coming and he ducked his head in shame.

“Jim,” Spock's quiet voice whispered. “I will not make that promise.”

Jim clenched his fists. He knew Spock would say that. The only option for him to save Spock, was if he refused to bond with him…

Could he do it? Could he throw away his soul mate?

Before he could come to any kind of decision, Spock’s lips suddenly found his and Jim greedily latched on to the offered kiss. He was a mess and he could taste the salt of his own tears between them. He needed physical comfort, and he hated himself for giving in to the kiss, but the feeling of Spock’s mouth moving against his began to force away some of the thoughts and fears from his mind.

He needed more. He needed to drown himself in Spock. A place where his fears couldn’t reach him.

But Spock broke away, and Jim leaned his forehead against him gasping for air.

“Bond with me Jim.” Spock panted out of breath, their kiss having stolen his own.

Jim’s hands stroked the sides of Spock's face. “Spock I-”

Spock kissed him again and Jim detected a hint of desperation in the action. He somehow knew Jim was going to try and discourage them from bonding but it seemed Spock did not want to go down without a fight. Their comforting kiss turned fierce and desperate for each other and Jim whimpered conflicted. He should stop them. He should not continue this and tell Spock that it would be a bad idea for them to bond with each other.

“Bond with me,” Spock said harshly against his lips.

“But your future…” Jim said breathlessly.

“-Is _our_ future. It is my choice, and I want this to be yours. Bond with me.” Spock repeated, “We need each other.”

Jim found himself suddenly on his back, the weight of a Vulcan on top of him. The Starfleet standard mattress dipped slightly as he hovered over him trapping him between his two powerful arms.

“What is your choice?” Spock whispered hotly into his ear.

Spock’s body weight on top of him seemed to ground him, and he looked up to see the Vulcan’s steadfast and determined expression to win him as a mate. His dark hungry eyes roved down Jim’s body and he shivered in response, he could not fight this thing between them anymore. It all came down to his basic need. His need to be bonded to his soul mate.

“I want only you. Forever.” He found himself admitting. Unable to control himself, Jim rolled his hips up experimentally and the electric shock of pleasure that came with the rub of contact was almost painful in its intensity. He could feel Spock’s own answering hardness through his clothes and that sent Jim’s own arousal spiking dangerously through his veins. 

Spock leaned down to capture his lips again, and it was an all-out war as they tried to rid themselves of clothes. Jim tugged at the Vulcan's shirt impatiently as they continued to kiss, and Spock finally broke them apart so he could sit up to remove the offending shirt. Jim was suddenly exposed to dips and valleys of creamy, rippling skin dusted in black hair. 

His mouth went dry. He looked incredible.

Quickly peeling his own clothing away they were back to tasting each other in desperation, naked skin against naked skin. The blush of green alongside pink.

Spock had Jim pinned down flat against the bed and there was no room left between them. The Vulcan felt exactly as Jim imagined he would, hot and velvety, throbbing against him with need. At that moment he was unable to even tell their pulse beats apart.

The Vulcan broke away from his mouth to trail kisses down his throat where the scraping of teeth found his jugular. Jim groaned pushing his neck further up into Spock’s ravenous mouth, and the Vulcan bit down. Shivers broke out across his skin and he clutched at Spock trying to hold himself together.

 _“Please…”_ he whined as he wrapped his arms around Spock’s neck. Jim hoped Spock knew what he was asking for because Jim himself was not certain he could find the words.

Spock’s hands traveled down the length of his waist before taking possession of Jim’s narrow hips. 

Dragging him closer, Spock leaned down to press a deep lingering kiss to the center of Jim’s chest where his heart hammered against his rib cage, before pushing into him. Jim couldn’t help the pitiful moaning yelp that escaped his throat as he did so, it had been way too long since he had done this. 

Spock's eyes closed, his brow furrowing impossibly as if frantic for his own control. “Are you in pain?” Spock ground out, holding himself still. “I do not know, how this is normally done.”

“It's f-fine...just been a while. Keep going,” Jim managed to say, and Spock went as slow as he could, opening him up, and after a bit, it began to feel good. So, so good.

Powerful slender fingers gripped at his hips tightly and Spock started to move tentatively at first, but soon he picked up his pace and the heat between them melted Jim’s spine. His legs shook, and he was unable to control his stomach muscles from clenching and fluttering uncontrollably around Spock every time he moved in and out of his body. His head lolled back onto the pillow, and he hissed out a _“Yesss”_ between his teeth.

Spock was inside of him but it wasn’t enough. He wanted Spock in his mind. He wanted to be connected with Spock in every sense of the word. Jim pulled Spock against him, feeling the Vulcan’s powerful muscles flex against his skin, and clutched at Spock's back as if he was trying to press his very soul into the Vulcans body. It was his own way of trying to tie them together in a clumsy human fashion that had none of the accuracy or power of Vulcan telepathy. He didn’t know how to voice his need aloud, but Spock somehow knew anyway. Slender pale fingers reached out and touched the side of Jim's face, and he could feel his mind spark at the contact.

Yes, a meld. He craved a meld. Jim pushed his face against Spock's hand, an open invitation.

Spock's fingertips found the right points and they were both thrown into the depths of their joined minds, instantaneous, their souls trying to wrap around each other with a desperation that staggered them.

Jim could almost feel the exact moment Spock allowed the bond loose from his end so that it could fly across their shared mental space and connect them together. In a split second, thousands of stars shaded blue and silver erupted from behind his lids and he watched as the bright golden bond swirling at the center of it all whipped out, anchoring itself to his soul and pulled him forward to meet Spock's own shimmering essence, knotting the two of them together in ribbons of light.

Suddenly there was no Jim and there was no Spock. All that was left was the combined essence of the two of them, bodies and minds melding and twisting together in pleasure, dwarfed only by their love for one another.

It was like the birth of a new universe forming right in his mind and Jim knew he was somehow crying. But that was okay because he could feel Spock's tears too.

And with that, Jim felt his climax tear through him with the force of an ion storm, and he let out a pitiful mewling cry at the intensity that shook him to his very core. He could no longer feel his body thrust, no longer speak, no longer move; he could only cling to Spock as he erupted between them, his entire body shuddering in pleasure so intense that for a moment, he was sure he would die from it. The release went on for an immeasurable amount of time, and soon Jim felt boneless, unable to move.

Spock’s fingers slipped away from his face and Jim was now seeing with his physical eyes again instead of with his mind.

He was lucky enough to look up in time to see a shudder rip through Spock’s body as he clenched his eyes shut and parted his lips in a soundless cry.

“Jim," he choked out after a moment of breathless pleasure. 

Jim had never seen anything more beautiful then Spock coming undone with such emotion displayed across his face, and his heart throbbed to know he was the cause.

Spent, Spock dropped his forehead on Jim's shoulder, his hot breath panting into Jim’s neck, waves of sweet aftershocks rippling through his whole body causing him to shake on top of him, and then he soon collapsed completely on top of him exhausted. 

Jim lifted a heavy hand and began to tenderly stroke Spock’s now sweat-soaked hair, gently rubbing down the back of his neck to caress his strong pale shoulder.

How could he have ever considered giving this up? The two of them were made for each other and come hell, or high water. They would be together no matter what came their way.

“Are you well?” Spock asked after he seemed to catch his breath. His eyes, gleaming with unrestrained emotion and fatigue. Jim could only nod, still trying to catch his own breath. Feeling dizzy, their bodies heaved against each other,

After their breathing gradually returned to normal. He became fully aware that could still feel Spock within his mind. “I can feel you,” Jim mumbled softly to the cooling air around them. “I can still feel you in my mind. You feel wonderful.”

“That is our t’hy’la bond, it will provide us with a mental intimacy akin to melding. I will now always be with you, and you with me. Parted but never parted.” Spock said into his neck.

“Always touching and touched,” Jim supplied, recognizing the words. “Why do I know that?”

“Because I know that. We will share Knowledge. And as the bond grows stronger we will be able to talk to each other from great distances. At least that is what the legends of the T’hy’la bonds have said.”

“So other Vulcans don’t have that? They can't talk to each other from distances?”

“They can feel a change in their bonds, impressions of emotions, but not actual words.” Spock murmured softly. He seemed like he was drifting to sleep.

They were quiet for a few moments, then Jim said, “I’m sorry I freaked out. I was just so scared. Having faced death multiple times in my life I never thought I would be scared to that degree again. The very thought of me holding you back from living your life...I would never want to do that to you…” he looked down to find Spock’s eyes watching him. “but you were right, we need each other.”

“I concur,” Spock murmured serenely, rising up to press his lips to Jim's forehead. “Where there is love, there is always the fear of loss, '' Spock said solemnly. “Do not Humans say ‘Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all,’ 

Jim smiled. Spock really was his perfect match. “Alfred Lord Tennyson, Jim supplied. “So you don’t just read Alice in wonderland?” He whispered in a teasing manner. “Or did you pull that from my brain?”

Jim could actually feel humor bounce back from Spock's side of the bond and he knew Spock was laughing in his own way.

“My knowledge of Terran literature and art is beyond other Vulcans.” He answered just as quietly. “But Jim, know that I do not plan on losing you. I will protect you at all costs, and together we will prove your innocence.”

Jim felt like he could believe him. 

“Yes, k'diwa.” Spock said answering his unspoken thought, and then Jim heard in his mind, _Sleep,_ whispered like a soft breeze on a warm, summer night. The potent suggestion was compelling, irresistible. 

A smile of wonder crept across Jim’s face. They were bonded. This is what it felt like to be bonded.

Jim hummed in contentment, and he found himself drifting to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone. You readers are so sweet to worry about me and my family. Sadly there's been no change as of yet, but I hope this chapter finds you all well. Please stay safe my friends. This virus is nasty.


	18. Chapter 18

Spock dozed lightly with his head using Jim’s chest as a pillow. The sound of the Enterprise’s engines humming mixed with Jim’s soft snores, echoed quietly in the darkened cabin, and Spock marveled at how much inner peace he was experiencing, despite feeling drained.

He could not allow himself to enter a full rem cycle but he was taxed after last night's activities. He would need to sleep soon, knowing his meditation could no longer be effective in regulating his body’s functions. His emotions had become more prominent of late, rising to the surface, and it was now potentially dangerous for those around him if he were to lose control.

He should be more concerned, but for now, as he pressed his nose into Jim’s smooth heated skin, he chose not to think about it. Instead he would focus on how comfortable the human’s body heat made his bed.

Spock had not expected to mate with Jim so soon, wishing to court him properly before they broached the subject of bonding again, but after Jim’s panic attack, he had felt through the emotional transference of Jim holding his hands that he was beginning to doubt mating with Spock altogether.

Spock out of his own fear could not allow that line of thought to continue.

If Jim had truly looked at him last night and told him he wanted to send Spock away and never see him again, Spock would have respected his request and left. It would have broken him beyond repair, but he would have done so.

Because if his T’hy’la asked such a thing, Spock would not be able to resist giving it to him. He loved Jim.

However, he had seen Jim’s mind and knew that deep down he wanted no such thing. He was letting fear control him as most humans do, and so Spock found himself fighting for both of them.

How could Jim believe that he was somehow saving him from an undesirable future? Spock felt his very Katra twisted in pain at the very notion. He did not seem to understand that there was no future for Spock without him in it.

Nevertheless it did not matter anymore now they were fully bonded. Spock’s whole world had changed, and it was for the better, despite what had Jim thought.

Even now, as they lied there in each other’s arms he could feel Jim’s mind in the back of his own. Dynamic and vast, forever moving and changing, like the cosmos itself. Jim was home to him now, and Spock was unbelievably humbled that they were connected like this. To exist together in such a manner, bonded to one another, Spock was even more grateful that T’pring had broken their preliminary mating bond, so that now Jim’s could stand in its place. New and wondrous, the bond glowed between them, stronger than even his parents, cementing their souls together.

It was perfect.

His comm chirped interrupting his reprieve, and he opened his eyes to check and make sure the noise had not awoken his bed partner.

Slipping loose from the warm body that held his own Spock took the comm to the bathroom and shut the door.

“Spock here,” he answered.

“Spock,” came Pike's voice, “ I need you down in the medical bay as soon as possible.”

“Affirmative, give me a few minutes and I will wake Mr. Kirk-”

“No, leave Kirk there. Dr. McCoy has uncovered some new evidence, and Admiral Sue and I feel it would be best to refrain from having Kirk's presence potentially risking its viability. Leave him in the cabin. He will be safe with the armed guards outside your door.”

Spock could feel his lips dip into a frown. No. He did not want to leave Jim.

“Captain-” He began to argue.

“I know you don’t want to leave him, but this is important..” Pike said cutting him off, knowing full well that if Spock was given the chance he could easily use logic to get his way. “We are just trying to keep everything fair, so he can have a decent trial.”

Spock remained silent.

“If you’re still worried about leaving Kirk we could move him to the brig again while you're away.”

Spock glanced through the bathroom door to Jim's sleeping figure on the bed. He would be more comfortable if he remained within his cabin, and moving him to the brig would provide no better protection than keeping him here. He had after all been poisoned under those previous conditions. At least if he remained in his quarters he could sleep comfortably and have access to various things to keep him occupied while he was away.

“Negative. We should leave Mr. Kirk in my cabin. If I may ask, what evidence has been uncovered?”

“I'm not sure yet, I think it might have to do with the DNA discovered in the extra escape pod.”

Spock pursed his lips. It sounded like they might have gotten a match running the DNA. If this was true then they would also discover who Frank Davis had beamed aboard as a stowaway. The person who had poisoned Jim.

“I will be there shortly,” Spock answered, giving himself a once over in the bathroom mirror. He would need to clean himself up before meeting with others.

“Alright then, see you soon. Pike out.” His comm chirped and Spock set the device down next to the sink. Already nude he decided that a brief sonic shower would be needed. Once that was completed he quickly dressed and began to get things in order before he reported down to the medical bay.

He replicated a bowl of Terran fruits and water for Jim to eat when he awoke, making sure to partake in everything he replicated to make sure that the food was not poisoned in any manner. Carefully setting them to the side on the table, he realized he had not made Jim's coffee.

This gave him pause. He had never made Jim coffee before and yet he knew Jim would want some the moment he woke. It was amazing knowing such a thing would please his T’hy’la and it was all because of the bond.

Replicating some coffee, black as he now knew Jim preferred, he tasted it and then placed the cup next to the other food.

He then wandered over to the bed where Jim slept, grabbing the hypospray Dr. McCoy had given him to administer to Jim every 4 hours and stared down his mate laying perfectly cradled within tossed covers.

His eyes traveled down Jim’s exposed chest and then back up to his face, where he noticed little red crescent markings at the base of his neck. Leaning closer to inspect the abrasions he recognized the markings as his own teeth marks.

He had bitten Jim.

Spock internally winced and became extremely embarrassed. He wondered how he could have done such a barbaric act.

He reached out, letting his fingers carefully trace the markings his teeth had made on Jim’s neck and shivered. Heat rose in his stomach and he realized the markings caused him to want to mate with Jim again.

Slightly confused he tilted his head to study the markings he had made on his mate's body further. He knew his libido had been strongly driven by the bond wanting to complete itself, but he thought after the process was done, his baser urges would subside to a lesser degree.

That was not the case it seemed.

Something primal unfurled within him and the embarrassment of the bite faded into a satisfying emotion. Jim was his mate, and if he was to bear a mark of mating, Spock wanted it to be from him. Why should he not mark Jim’s skin? It would show to others that he was indeed claimed.

No, wait.

He raised his thumb and forefinger to his eyes, rubbing them for clarity.

These notions were _illogical_ , and Spock was certain his lack of sleep was causing them to be brought to the surface. He would have to carefully monitor his constitutions and not allow himself to be compromised because of his new mating status, or because of his lack of sleep.

“Jim,” Spock said quietly, touching his shoulder and giving him a slight shake.

Jim’s long lashes fluttered open in response and he squinted up at him.

“Hmm?” He moaned questioningly before blinking a few times. “Hey,” he said, giving Spock a lazy smile that sent his heart racing in his side. “What are you doing up?”

“I apologize for waking you, but I have been called down to the medical bay to review some potential evidence in your case. I would take you with me but Captain Pike and Admiral Sue want to keep you here so that if it is in your favor, the evidence remains clean.”

“Hmm.” Jim acknowledged with his eyes sliding closed again. “Okay…”

“I also need to administer this hypospray to you, since it was not done last night.”

Jim popped one eye open and his face twisted in soft displeasure. “Ugh, do you have to?”

“It is what your Doctor recommended.” He said, leaning down pressing the hypo into the side of Jim's neck.

Jim winced and then yawned, “Hm, well if you're gonna be gone. I think I might go back to bed...Wait a minute, do I smell coffee?” Jim sat up on his elbows and began to sniff the air.

“Indeed. I have left out some food and drink you may want to eat if your stomach agrees. I have tested everything to assure your safety.”

Jim looked up at him and smiled, a sleepy lopsided grin. He did not say anything but Spock could suddenly feel an abundance of loving tenderness flow through their bond.

He had made Jim happy.

Spock was pleased, but he could not keep Captain Pike and the Admiral waiting any longer. “I will be back shortly.”

“Wait Spock,” Jim reached up and gently tugged on his uniform shirt to pull him down so that their lips could meet. Spock was only too willing to let him do so.

Jim kissed him, the pace slow unhurried, and Spock savored the moment. The feel, the taste, the delicious scent of Jim's still naked body rising up from the sheets that carried their combined scent. It was arousing, and he had to pull back before it was him, and not Jim, who started something they could not stop.

As he pulled back, Jim’s eyes were focused on him with an expression of satisfaction drawn across his pink lips. “Hey, when you get back, wanna go again?”

Spock blinked at Jim’s unabashed question. He was so forward with what he wanted and by Spock's body’s response, it was in accordance with his own.

“I find your proposal agreeable.” He responded, his voice dipping lower, but he straightened himself and began to walk towards the door.

Jim's eyes followed his movements, his face clearly lusting after him. “Definitely.”

Spock shivered once again and left.

As he exited his quarters, nodding in acknowledgment to the four guards still posted outside his door. The hallway was bright with lights, a stark contrast to his dimly lit cabin and he blinked a few times allowing his eyes to adjust.

“I am leaving Mr. Kirk unattended for a short while but I will be back. Comm me if there are any problems.”

The men nodded in unison, “Yes commander.”

He turned and walked down the corridor getting further and further away, but with the bond it was like Jim was still with him. This eased his anxieties as he stepped on the turbo lift and headed towards the medical bay.

When he had shared a preliminary bond with T’pring he had felt her presence as well, but nothing close to this degree. Spock could somehow tell that Jim had chosen to roll back over and fall asleep again, as he too, was exhausted from last night's activities.

Spock allowed a mynute smile to upturn the corners of his mouth.

He enjoyed knowing Jim was safe and that he could keep tabs on him while he was away.

While walking down to the medical bay Spock passed several crewmen milling about accomplishing tasks that need to be done and it felt odd not knowing their work rotations. Due to focusing his attention on Jim and his rescue for the past two weeks he had temporarily been relieved of all other duties, including issuing work assignments to the department heads.

A few crewmen gave him polite nods as he passed by, but it was head engineer Rarmeriz who stopped him in the hall.

“Ah hello there Mr. Spock! Might I have a word with you? You might be the person I need to solve my problem.”

Spock stopped. “Affirmative, but it will have to be brief. I am needed down in the medical bay.”

“Yes, yes of course. Now, since we brought that other pod aboard we have run out of storage room. My poor crewmen are tripping over parts as we speak. I was wondering if we could collapse some of the empty cargo containers in shuttle bay G, that way we would be able to move the pieces salvaged from the USS Star Marker there, I just need some permission.” The engineer handed him a PADD outlining his plan.

As Spock began to look over the information, when his comm beeped interrupting him.

Taking out his communicator he answered. “Spock here.”

“Commander, this is Ensign Rodes. I am one of the security officers stationed outside your cabin. There is a man here who is identifying himself as an engineer named Montgomery Scott. He’s claiming to be here to fix a broken vent and wants access to your quarters.”

“Mr. Scott?” Spock asked. “Pike must have put in the work order already,” Spock said thinking aloud, but one thing confused him “Why would Mr. Scott be sent to fix my panel and not one of the Enterprise's crewmen?” He asked looking at Ramirez.

Ramirez shrugged. “I heard Pike asking for him this morning. That man is overzealous about everything, and he consumes food at an ungodly rate. It’s possible he even volunteered his services if Pike did the work order himself. I honestly wouldn't be surprised, he seems to want to tinker with everything on the Enterprise.”

Spock nodded. His vent did need to be fixed for Jim's health, but as he checked the bond, he knew Jim was still asleep and while he trusted Mr. Scott, he did not want Jim disturbed at the moment, especially if he was still naked in bed.

“Please inform Mr. Scott,” he said, speaking back into his comm, “that I would like for him to wait until I return to the cabin before work can be done.”

“Yes Sir.”

Spock closed his communicator and placed it back in his pocket and continued to Scan the work forms on the PADD. “These look to be justifiable. You have my permission to carry out these orders.”

Rameriz took the PADD from Spock's hands.“Excellent! I will get right on it.”

Spock watched the head engineer scurry off before he proceeded to the medical bay.

As he got closer he was greeted by the slightly raised voices, those of Admiral Sue and Dr. McCoy.

“Dr. McCoy this is highly irregular.” He heard Admiral Sue say sharply as he walked through the swishing door.

“And you know what else is irregular? Space travel and yet here we are at warp speed.” The doctor said stubbornly with his arms folded across his chest.

Spock walked up to them and his presence gave their argument pause.

“Where is the Captain?” He asked addressing them both.

Admiral Sue’s sharp intelligent eyes flicked to him with slight annoyance. “Captain Pike will be here shortly. He was delayed by some engineers that wanted him to take a look at some power conduits they believed were somehow sabotaged near Frank Davis’s Cabin. They were hollowed out to make room to the Jefferies tubes.”

Spock became alert. “Where is Frank Davis now?”

“He’s still under guard and hasn’t left his cabin, but Pike suspects that the stowaway may be responsible for the damage.”

Spock tried to keep his expression a perfect mask but he felt his lips dip into a frown.

“So Captain Pike suspects that the stowaway may be hiding within the Jefferies tubes?”

Admiral Sue nodded. “It looks that way. He wanted us to continue reviewing the evidence Dr. McCoy has uncovered, rather than having us wait for him since he doesn’t know how long he’ll take with the engineers, but Dr. McCoy is stonewalling me, even though I am his superior.” She said in a hard voice as her eyes flicked back to the doctor, who kept his arms folded in a defensive manner.

Spock turned towards McCoy. “Why are you waiting to explain your findings? Surely you must understand that time is of the essence. If we are to gather evidence in defense of Mr. Kirk, it must be ready before we reach the StarBase.”

Spock glanced around, “Where is Dr. Mites?”

“I fired him.”

Spock raised a brow. “Dr. McCoy you simply can not fire a crew member belonging to an assignment that you have no jurisdiction over.”

“Well I did. I’m your new CMO now and Dr. Mites had no qualms about turning over his position to me. Seemed kind of glad to be honest, mentioned something about retiring early anyway. Besides he was not doing his job properly. He overlooked crucial evidence and did not investigate certain anomalies any further. Jim is lucky I was here because I’m about to save his ass.”

“But you are not willing to share the evidence you uncovered?” Spock asked calmly, restraining his rising emotions.

“That’s right! There are only two people I trust in this rickety tin can, and that’s Pike and Jim. I’m not saying squat until Pike gets here. How do I know you’re not in on this little coo? How do I know you two aren’t working for Frank Davis? None of you have Jim’s best interests at heart. He’s just a kid. He needs someone to look out for him.”

Spock stepped closer, a dangerous move as ire was inflaming his chest. A small wave of heat ran through him and he desperately controlled his anger. He needed sleep. He stared McCoy down, the doctor having no clue how close he was to snapping, but the doctor held his ground.

“My regard for Mr. Kirk is greater than your comprehension. I want nothing more than to see him relieved of these murder charges and you are wasting time with your inability to trust us, further endangering him. Now, as Commanding officer of this vessel, in which you yourself have just assigned yourself to, I order you under penalty of court-martial to show us the evidence you have uncovered.”

The doctor narrowed his eyes in turn, recognizing his blunder. Now that he was the Enterprise's new CMO he would have to follow Spock’s orders.

There was a tense few moments where the doctor considered his options before relenting.

“Fine!” He said, throwing up his hands in the air, “But I’m only doing this... because Jim...trusts you. I couldn’t give a damn about being court-martialed.” He turned and walked towards a wall, one that Spock recognized where they stored the cryotubes, to preserve the bodies of fallen crew members.

“This-,” McCoy said punching the buttons on the wall next to the chambers, “Is not Captain Macintosh.”

The compartment in the wall slid open, revealing the dead body they had recovered from the wreckage of the USS Star Marker. From all appearances, it was indeed the fallen Captain.

“What do you mean?” Admiral Sue questioned as she stepped up to the tube. “I’ve worked with Captain Macintosh before and this is certainly his body.”

The doctor shook his head. “No. This is a clone.”

The Admiral raised a thin brow. “A clone? How can you tell?”

“A clone has identical DNA to that of their donor, but certain cloning methods cause a characteristic gene-sequence degradation which can be detected, you just have to look for it.”

“And what gave you the idea to look for degradation?” The Admiral asked skeptically while looking down into the tube. 

Dr. McCoy turned to a panel on the wall and pulled up a split-screen, each displaying strands of DNA. They were almost identical but one helix strand held more blue markers than the other.

“This DNA,” the Doctor said, thumping the wall next to the helix strand with the normal amount of blue, “Was found in that escape brought aboard. The DNA belongs to Captain Macintosh. The _real_ Captain Macintosh. But this DNA,” The Doctor said thumping the other screen with more blue, “It belongs to the man in that tube. He’s a clone. When we ran the DNA the computer showed the inconstancies, within the samples but Dr. Mites brushed it off as just a computer malfunction. A first-year medical cadet could spot the difference, he just didn’t care to look into the samples further, hence why I fired him.”

Spock’s eyes widened a fraction. “If what you say is true, then it would explain why Jims DNA was the last found on the body, even though the evidence states that it was the last altercation that had killed him.” 

The doctor nodded. “I’m running a scan of the body now. If I can find Captain Macintosh’s original DNA on his clone, and then age the shed skin cells, I can prove that it was Captain Mac who killed his own clone, because he would have been the last one to fight him. Jim had told me that his Captain had been acting wonky. Said his personality had changed and whatnot. This is the reason. The clone had his own personality traits, that would differ from the original." 

Spock began to quickly piece things together. “The video clip recovered from the computer of the USS Star Marker shows Jim fighting Captain Macintosh. In the clip, Jim takes a punch caught off guard, expecting Macintosh’s punch to originate from his right. He stated that he had sparred with the captain before but the man favored his right. Could the clone be left-handed?"

Dr. McCoy looked at the computer monitor on the wall and pulled up the man's muscular system onto the screen. “Yep he’s left-handed. Look at muscle difference and bone structure.” 

“Can you tell how old the clone is?” Admiral Sue asked her eyes scanning the image on the screen.

“It’s hard to tell and I would have to test him to be completely sure but, I would guess based on the cellular age I’ve seen so far maybe a month or two?” 

Spock folded his hands behind his back and stood up straighter. “That timeline would certainly match Mr.Kirk's description of when he claimed the Captain's personality changed. Macintosh could have had the clone created to kill Jim and then itself so that the real Macintosh could claim the insurance money and then disappear.” 

Admiral Sue frowned. “That's a pretty strong accusation. Why would Captian Macintosh do such a thing? And how would he even know about the life insurance policy? It’s not general knowledge. As far as he was concerned, Mr. Kirk had the same life insurance policy as a regular crewman.” 

Spock turned to look at the admiral who was still hovering by the clone. “I believe Frank Davis may be involved in more ways than we know. He may have either coerced Macintosh or convinced him that Mr. Kirk's death would benefit them both. As for the “why” he would do such a thing, I am privy to the knowledge of Captain Macintosh having significant gambling debts. If Mr. Kirk was killed he could take the life insurance credits and pay off his debts or keep gambling."

Dr. McCoy raised a brow, “Now do you see why I can’t trust any of you? If Jim’s own Captain tried to have him killed, what’s to stop an Admiral or say a Vulcan for joining in? Bunch of snakes in the grass, the lot of you.” 

“Wait a minute,” the Admiral said, cutting the doctor off with a swift motion of her hand. “If Captain Macintosh killed his clone, and then used the escape pod that would mean the stowaway onboard is-" 

The doors to the medical bay swished open and a Scotsman burr filled the air. “Aye, that's how the wires in the Jeffries tubes wur cut! A'm telling ye tae captain that rat is in the walls! That's why we haven't seen him!” Captain Pike nodded to the Scotsman as they joined the group gathered around the cryotube. “Sorry I’m late, but Mr. Scott and I have been on the trail of our stowaway. Mr. Scott thought he almost had him cornered when we cleared away some of the fried conduits, but he got away. Turns out we missed him by almost an hour.” Pike shook his head and placed his hand on his hips in a disappointed manner. 

Spock frowned and turned to the Scotsman. “Mr. Scott, did you not stop by my cabin to fix a broken panel above a vent?” Mr. Scott blinked in surprise. “Uh… no. I could take a look at the panel if ye wid lik'. It would be no’ problem. But I’ve been with Captain Pike all mornin’ lookin’ at the tampered conduits." 

**SPOCK!**

Spock’s head snapped up. That was Jim. He had heard his name called out clear and strong, almost they had been standing right next to each other.

**HELP!**

A feeling of fear and urgency flew across the bond and Spock took off running leaving everyone crying out after him in confusion.

Sprinting down the corridors, he plowed past unsuspecting crewmen caught unawares, knocking a few of them over. He did not have time for niceties and did not acknowledge anything other than the path before him leading straight to his cabin. The turbo lift to his deck seemed to take an eternity when in actuality, it was only 52 seconds. As soon as the doors were open he took off running again and when he neared his room, he could see that the four guards posted had not moved, having no clue that there was any danger happening within the walls they guarded. 

“Move!” He snarled, rushing to the door, punching in his security code. 

The first thing illuminated by the hallway light pouring into his darkened room was two figures wrestling on the ground, one with their hands wrapped around the neck of the other.

Spock saw red.

He felt his emotions take a violent shift and his deep-rooted ancestry from the warriors of old grabbed a hold of him, altering his perception. A raw, rage-driven cry rose from deep in his throat and Spock was across the room pulling the assailant off Jim, thrusting the attacker into the wall with a crushing grip. 

He could hear Jim gasping for air on the floor, but his eyes never wavered from the intruder, his fingers tightening around the neck of a very alive Captain Macintosh. 

He was covered in scratches and dressed in one of the enterprise's red Engineer uniforms. So he had been the one masquerading as Mr. Scott. 

The man’s deep-set eyes proclaimed that he had not slept for the past few days and his graying hair was unkempt and greasy. The disgraced captain clawed at Spock's fingers digging into his jugular, his green bloodshot eyes bulging from his skull in surprise at being caught unaware. He struggled desperately against the wall he was pinned to trying to break free from Spock’s iron grasp so that he could pull air into his lungs. 

_“Du dungi tev-tor, na' ti wuh el'ru fi' t'nash-veh k'diwa”_ Spock hissed out like an angered sehlat between his teeth.

His breathing was harsh and his nostrils flared as his jaw tightened. The man flailed about wildly, his movements clumsy and distraught as he began losing oxygen. Bloodlust fueled him as Spock's reason and logic was no longer a concern. 

_Yes._ Spock’s mind screamed. _Yes! When he is dead he will no longer be a threat to your mate._

“Spock! Spock let him go!” He heard Jim cry, but his mind barely registered Jim’s protest. The adrenaline pumping through his veins caused any words spoken to him to become garbled and muted. 

Spock snarled. 

“Spock! STOP! Please, you're killing him!” Spock’s grip tightened. It would be so easy. A bit more pressure and the man’s windpipe would crush. 

“Spock please, don’t kill him. I’m okay! It’s okay, and I need you to let him go.” A warm hand slid onto his chest, and Spock’s head snapped to its source. Fierce black eyes finding the pleading electric blue.

“Let him go, Spock,” Jim said again firmly, pressing the rest of his warm, vulnerable body to the Vulcans side. 

Spock shivered knowing his mate was close, but the Captain began making a gurgling noise and his attention returned back to the pinned man. His face was purple and his eyes were red, boasting of broken blood vessels. 

“Spock,” Jim said with finality. Jim saying his name somehow snapped him back to reality and with one last glance to make sure the disgraced captain was no longer a threat. He let the now unconscious man fall to the ground, turning his full attention back to his mate. 

He gathered him close to his chest. _Jim._

Still breathing harshly, he burrowed his nose into the crook of Jim’s neck, the scent of his skin centering him back to sanity. He could not believe he had lost control like that. “Shhh.” Jim murmured into his ear, as he wrapped his arms around Spock's waist.

“Are you injured?” Spock asked, pulling back to examine Jim’s body. He was covered in scratches and he had the imprints of Captain Macintosh’s hands standing out in harsh relief around his neck. Gently lifting his hand Spock touched the red angry skin and watched Jim’s throat bob up and down as he swallowed. A fresh wave of anger washed over him, but holding Jim he was able to tamper it down. 

“I’m fine, Spock. But are _you_ okay?”

“Based on the fact that I have nearly just killed a man, suffice it to say I have been emotionally compromised. My lack of sleep and our new bonding status has put a strain on my emotions and constitutions. I will require sleep as soon as possible to rectify these ailments.”

Jim studied his face before pressing a kiss to his cheek, and through the emotional transference Spock could tell Jim was extremely worried about him, not quite understanding everything he had said. Nevertheless he held Spock close, offering as much comfort as he could. “Okay. We can get you some sleep if that’s what you need.”

“Er...Commander, Mr. Kirk, are you two alright?” He recognized the voice as one of the security officers and Spock looked up to find the four guards had entered his room and were now staring at the scene with hesitancy. 

“We’re fine, but Captain Macintosh is going to need medical attention,” Jim answered for them. 

“Captain Macintosh?” One of the guards asked confused, looking down at the unconscious man, “But this man identified himself as Mongomery Scott...How did he even get in the room? We sent him away when the commander told us to deny him access." 

Jim opened his mouth to answer, but a new, out of breath voice interrupted him. 

“Jim?! What the hell happened kid?!” Everyone turned to see Doctor McCoy, Captain Pike, Admiral Sue, and Mr. Scott standing in the doorway. It was clear they had all run their way to the cabin, having been concerned at Spock's sudden departure from the medical bay. “Why are you naked? What's going on here?” The doctor asked further, stepping into the room. 

Spock glanced down at Jim and realized Dr. McCoy was correct. Jim still was in the nude. Quickly grabbing some nearby sheets that had made their way to the ground during the altercation, he wrapped up Jim’s lower torso.

“Hey Bones, Captain Mac is going to need some help,” Jim said pointing to the crumpled body on the floor. 

The Doctor gave Jim a wild, incredulous look but nodded and stepped past the guards to get to Macintosh. The doctor leaned down to the man's unconscious body and began to scan him taking some readings. “Jeez, what happened to him?" 

“Spock saved me from being strangled to death. That’s what happened. He got into the cabin and attacked me while I was sleeping.” 

Pike walked past them over to the damaged panel and Spock tightened his grip on Jim's waist. Yes he was back to a better state of mind but something still primitive had a hold of him and he did not like another person getting so close to Jim after what had just happened. Even if that person was Captain Pike. 

The Capitan leaned down. “He must have found his way in through here. Look there are some blood smears and handprints on the inside. This vent also connects to Jeffries tubes 185 and 186. He must have used the tubes to make his way to the cabin, but how he managed to squeeze into such a tight space though is astonishing. The broken panel must have given him more room to work with.” 

Admiral Sue walked over to the doctor, just as he finished contacting Nurse Chapel down in the medical bay to bring an anti-grav gurney to the cabin so that they could transfer the injured man.

“Is it really Captain Macintosh?” She asked, leaning over the doctor's shoulder. 

Doctor McCoy looked up at her and nodded. “His DNA shows no degradation. He's the real deal.”

The Admiral straightened herself properly. “Well then, if that's the case. Mr. Kirk,” she said turning to Jim, “I am pleased to inform you that Starfleet will be dropping its murder charges against you seeing as the murder victim is very much alive.” 

Jim smiled and Spock could feel an abundance of joy emanating from the bond. 

Mr. Scott, who was also smiling, let his eyes bouncing back and forth between what probably looked like chaos in the room. Walking up to the Admiral he tapped her on the shoulder. “I like this ship, it's exciting! Can Ensign Kessner and I put in for a transfer?” 

The Admiral raised her brow, and gave him a slow blinking of the eyes as if to take his question in. “I will see what I can do,” She finally said. 

Another person appeared in the doorway and it was Nurse Chapel pushing an anti-grav gurney. “Doctor McCoy, I brought the gurney you requested,'' she said coaxing the hovering mat through the door. The room was already so full of people that she did not quite see Spock wrapped around Jim right away, but when she did, her wide blue eyes fluttered dramatically at the sight, but to her credit, she quickly looked away not saying anything.

“Good, lower the matt down here and help me get our patient on it.” She nodded and they both worked together to move the man in place. 

“Alright let's get him back to the medical bay and you two,” McCoy said pointing his finger in their direction. “You're coming with. We are all going to take a little trip back down to the med bay together. Nurse, once we get there, show them to station 23 in the back. After I'm done with Macintosh, I'll be there shortly to take care of them.”

“Of course Doctor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers. I'm so sorry this chapter is coming to you late. I ended up contracting COVID and it was rough. Especially with my heart condition, but I'm now on the mend. So thank you for bearing with me if you stuck around. Just a few more chapters to go.
> 
> What Spock says in Vulcan *You will die, for laying a hand on my beloved.*


	19. Chapter 19

Jim walked through the doors of the medical bay he had been in only a day earlier. It was quiet with only a few of the medical staff milling about and different types of machines humming or beeping. 

“Put him in the unit next to the Cryotube, and bring me a larynx scanner.” Bones said, addressing a few of the medical personnel who greeted Nurse Chapel as she pushed the anti-grav gurney through the doors.

He watched as the staff scattered about, following Bones’ orders with no questions, and the gurney was taken to a unit where the crewmen began to remove the unconscious captain from the stretcher.

Jim looked between the cryotube and the biobed the captain now rested on and blinked in disbelief. Two bodies of the same man. One dead and one unconscious.

“Who the hell is that!?” He found himself saying to the room.

Bones looked over his shoulder at Jim and smirked. “Say hello to your Captain’s clone.”

“Clone?!” Jim tried to step forward to get a better look but something held him in place. Surprised he glanced down to see Spock's arm still wrapped around his hips.

Turning slightly, so he could see Spock's face, he was greeted with an emotionless mask, staring back at him.

In appearance only Spock gave the impression not to care about Jim’s movements, however through the bond they now shared, he could tell that Spock did not want Jim anywhere near the bodies. He was somehow still worried that Captain Mackintosh, even though he was unconscious, was still a threat to him.

“I’m sure your Vulcan can explain everything to you.” Bones said gruffly, receiving what looked to be a larynx scanner from a crewman. “In the meantime, Nurse Chapel will escort you to unit 23. I’ll be over to check the commander out once I’m done with Macintosh.”

Bones dismissed them, not turning around and he began working on his unconscious patient. Nurse Chapel came up to them, extending her hand to show them the way to the furthest unit located in the back of the medical bay.

She eyed them quietly but gave them a soft smile as they walked. They must have looked like such an odd pair. Jim was still naked with nothing but sheets to keep him modest, and Spock despite looking to be the epitome of stoicism, still had his arm wrapped securely around his waist.

Reaching the unit she gestured for Spock to hop up on the biobed.

He hesitated only briefly before breaking away from Jim and positioning himself on the bed.

Nurse Chapel pressed a button on the wall that raised a frosted glass panel from the floor, blocking off their unit from the rest of the med bay for privacy.

“Can I get you anything while you wait for Doctor McCoy?” She asked, turning to look at them. “I could replicate some clothes for you,” she said, directly to Jim looking him up and down, her eyes lingering on a spot by his neck.

Jim bounced back on his heels, feeling slightly bashful. “Actually that would be great. I definitely need some clothes. Also, um, you think I could take a shower?” 

He really needed one. After his night with Spock and then the tussle with Macintosh he felt sticky and sweaty in some unpleasant ways.

Chapel nodded. “Of course. I will bring you fresh change clothes and leave them on the main sink counter next to the showers. The showers themselves are located just back there, behind that wall.”

Jim nodded his thanks and gave Spock one last look before slipping out to get himself decent.

He walked to the back area and saw a disposal unit on the wall. Quickly ridding himself of the sheets wrapped around his waist, Jim stepped in front of the long mirror on the wall and frowned. Would he ever look decent? 

The last time he had been in front of this mirror, he had looked wild and unkempt, and now...well... he had more scratches and terrible bruising around his neck.

He also had a love bite. Slightly shocked Jim reached up and touched the love bite and shivered. So that's what the nurse had been staring at.

He traced the teeth marks and felt himself becoming hard. He loved it. Imagining Spock becoming so undone that he had bitten his skin was arousing as hell. He wanted the Vulcan to do it again, and mark him all over his body so that there would be proof that he was his. That they belonged to each other. The thought made him feel high.

Too bad the bruising handprints right above the mark ruined the moment.

He leaned in closer to study the handprints left on his skin. 

So Captain Macintosh was alive. His mind reeled. 

And there was a clone involved? None of this made any sense...Well, maybe it did. After all, it had been like working with two different people. Which Macintosh had kissed him though? Most likely the clone.

But now the clone was dead, and the real Captain Mac was the one who had tried to kill him just now. He must have been the stowaway Spock had theorized was onboard, the one that had somehow poisoned his food, and from what he gathered from Pike, Macintosh had gotten into Spock's cabin through a broken vent.

He gently rubbed his sore neck.

It had been a close call. One minute he was blissfully asleep, and the next, someone had been on top of him, squeezing the breath from his lungs.

He had fought back of course, but being caught unawares, he found himself at a disadvantage, naked and vulnerable. 

Just as his vision had begun to fade to black the only thought in his mind was Spock. 

Spock. Spock. Spock. He could think to call out to no one else.

Spock was the one he loved. The one who had brought him so much comfort, joy, and pleasure. His other half.

And then suddenly he was there.

Like an avenging angel silhouetted by the light of the cabin doors opening, Spock had ripped his attacker off of him and slammed them into the wall. 

As Jim had gasped for breath on the ground, dragging sweet air into his lungs, he looked up to discover that it was his old captain who had attacked him. 

Caught in a death grip by Spock, Jim watched dazed as Spock's face twisted into a snarl as he spat out words in his native tongue. He was fierce, unforgiving and it frightened him. But Jim somehow understood that fear was the main driving force behind his barbaric actions. He had been afraid of losing Jim.

Thank God he had been able to snap Spock out of his rage-induced attack on the Captain, otherwise, Spock would have been joining him with his own murder charges.

Poor Spock, he had looked so lost after losing control like that. He said he had been emotionally compromised. Something about needing sleep? Had Spock not slept last night? 

Jim ran a tired hand through his hair, thoughts swirling about uncontrollably. Maybe he needed a little rest and relaxation, perhaps something similar to a honeymoon. Jim smiled to himself in the mirror. Did Vulcan's honeymoon?

He shook his head. Probably not, but in any case, they had both been through a lot in the last few days. He still had so many unanswered questions right now, but for the most part, he was glad that he was no longer accused of killing Captain Mac. 

He supposed he should feel completely relieved, or like there was less pressure, but if anything, he felt the opposite. Frank was still onboard and he still had no clue why any of this happened...well that wasn’t necessarily true. He was most likely targeted because of that damn life insurance policy, and Spock believed Frank was a main suspect. 

Jim sucked on his teeth in thought. He guessed he would have to wait and see what Captian Mac said once he regained consciousness.

Turning away from his reflection, Jim found the shower stall he had previously used and activated the sonic waves. Closing his eyes and releasing a hefty sigh, he let the sonic waves run across his body. 

The last time he had been in this shower stall he had been fantasizing about doing lewd things with Spock.

Now he didn’t have to fantasize. He knew what it was like to have Spock inside him but, his weight pressing him into the sheets, being stretched and filled to the brim. The muscles in his abdomen were sore, but Jim’s stomach fluttered in remembrance anyway. 

He moved slightly, beginning to rub down his hips and felt a familiar sting of pain run up his backside as he got to his rear. He really should have prepared himself last night, he hadn’t been with another guy in a while, but honestly, it hadn’t hurt as bad as it should have. It was odd now that he thought about it. In fact, after the initial stretch, it had felt wonderful. 

He felt slightly guilty however because that had been Spock's first time. Jim cringed. He could have at least wined and dined the Vulcan properly before they had sex, but instead, it had been a rush of need and comfort on his behalf. 

He scrubbed his hands down his face.

Spock had somehow known he was going to try and break whatever they had together off but had chosen to fight for them both. Something he was now extremely grateful for because he no longer had the murder charges and they were now bonded.

Bone’s had always said he was a “lucky bastard”, and this time Jim could actually believe it.

Jim had always loved being close to his partners in a physical way but, had felt kind of empty afterward, no matter how close they got, something always kept him from ever fully feeling satisfied. Completing the bond with Spock had been just that. Satisfying.

It was like he had been walking through life missing a part of himself without even knowing it, but now that he was bonded to Spock, it was like that part of him had finally come home. It sounded ridiculous, but he could think of no other way to describe it. 

Now he and Spock were tied together for life, and if every time they came together was gonna be like that, it was going to be hard for him to want to leave their bed.

Jim hummed to himself. He cannot get the sound of Spocks’s moans out of his head, the way his voice had cried out on top of him. He didn't know Vulcans could look so lost in pleasure.

_"I can hear you thinking of me."_

Jim jumped in surprise, slamming one of his elbows into the glass panel wall.

_"My apologies, I had no intention of startling you."_

“Wow,” Jim said aloud, remembering Spock saying that they could speak to each other from distances. “I can really hear you. It sounds like you’re right next to me.”

_"Indeed. It was how I knew you were in danger. I heard you calling me across our bond."_

Jim blinked. “I was thinking of you but I had no idea… I just wanted you to be there and you were.”

Jim felt the bond grow heavy. _“I was glad to come to your aid.”_

This seemed to be relayed to him in a darker tone, one that did not fit him very well. Spock was still feeling some very complex things at the moment, and Jim wondered if he could get his new partner to relax. 

“Perhaps some time with me in the shower might relax you. Why don’t you come and join me? We could have some fun in here.”

Jim began to run through some very graphic images of possibilities in his mind. If Spock could hear him, then maybe he could see his thoughts? “If you were here, naked before me, I would kiss you down your chest until I was kneeling in between your legs. I could take you in my mouth and suck you all the way down my throat. Don’t you want me, Spock?”

He could actually feel Spock viewing the images in his mind with extreme interest.

Spock’s voice in his head had dropped to a lower octave and goosebumps broke out over his skin. _“My want of you is unparalleled by anything else.”_

“Then join me in the shower.” 

He could feel Spock’s hesitancy. _"I do not feel comfortable doing so. Dr. McCoy would most likely become upset if we were to have coitus in the medical bay shower units._

Jim smirked, “Bones is always upset. It’s part of his charm.”

_“As you say. But I would prefer not to test his limits. I will remain waiting for Dr. McCoy to examine me.”_

Jim pouted. “Spoilsport. Fine, I will be out in a minute.”

He stepped out of the shower and was unnerved to see a fresh set of clothes, sitting on the sink waiting for him. That nurse must have brought him the things. He hadn’t even heard her walk in here because he had been so focused on his conversation with Spock. He hoped she didn’t overhear him and thought him crazy.

After dressing in the simple black replicated t-shirt, and gray sweat pants, Jim wandered back into the medical unit and quickly went to Spock who was still laying on the biobed. 

“Hey, can I join you?” He asked softly with a smile.

“There is not much more room,” Spock said looking up at him.

“We can make room. Scoot over.”

Spock didn’t argue any further and moved to the side and Jim somehow managed to slip in next to him. He laced their hands together and rested his head on Spock's shoulder. They were quiet for a moment before Jim spoke again.

“How are you feeling?”

“I am adequate at the moment.” He responded with a deadpan voice.

“Come on Spock, we’re bonded now, you can’t hide from me. I can still feel that you’re a bit troubled.”

Spock lowered his eyes and remained silent for a moment. “I behaved in such a way that I regret deeply, however, I do not regret protecting you.”

Jim studied the side of his face. “Trust me I don’t regret it either, and honestly I probably would have behaved the same way if it had been you in danger.”

Spock frowned and did not say anything. Jim could feel he was disappointed in himself, and he wanted to make Spock understand that it was okay. Everything would be okay. Spock had helped him last night, and he just wanted to do the same for him. But oddly enough Jim knew the best thing he could do for Spock was just sit there with him, showing silent support.

The medical equipment around them beeped and the light conversations of the staff could be heard drifting in the air. It was a surreal peaceful moment. Jim looked down his arm and discovered that he loved the sight of their fingers intertwined. They were so different, tan against pale, but the feeling between them seemed to buzz like an electric current. Condits connecting. Jim smiled as he thought back to other body parts that looked good connected.

“I can feel you thinking of me again,” Spock said quietly.

Jim threw his head back and laughed. “Can you blame me?”

Spock gave the hint of a smirk. “Negative.”

Jim laughed again. “This bond with you is cool. Knowing what you're thinking and talking across distances like that? It’s awesome. Seemed kind of familiar in the shower, you know? Me being separated from you, and only hearing your voice. It was like the escape pod all over again.”

Spock nodded as he studied him. “It appears the T’hy’la legends are true. Although your mind is untrained and so your thoughts are quite uncontrolled. I believe I can help you manage them if you would like.”

“Does my thinking bother you?”

“Quite the contrary. Your thoughts fascinate me. However, having worked with humans in the past I know some things are preferred to keep to oneself.”

Jim thought about this, “Yeah okay. I will train my mind to quiet down, but not because I have anything to hide from you, but because I’m sure in the future you may need some peace and quiet from me.” He joked playfully.

“I must admit, you are acclimating to our bond remarkably well.” Spock said in thought. “I would not suspect a human to handle sharing a connection with Vulcan in such an easy way.”

“What about your mother? Didn't you say she was human? She had to share some connection with your father.”

“My mother often struggled with her relationship to my father, but their love for each other was never in question.”

“Well we may have our fights in the future, like every relationship ever, but I don’t think anyone will ever question my love for you.” Jim leaned back and skimmed his lips along Spock’s smooth jaw until he reached a defenseless earlobe, which he sucked and nipped.

“Jim,” Spock said quietly, “I believe this behavior is inappropriate at the moment.”

Jim smiled and ducked his head to place a lingering kiss on the side of his neck. “Why?”

“We are not in private. Dr.McCoy or Nurse Chapel may return at any moment.”

“Hmmm...and kissing in public isn’t a Vulcan thing is it.” He continued pressing an opened mouthed kiss to his skin.

Spock remained quiet for a moment and Jim could feel some sort of inner turmoil happening from Spock's side of the bond. Jim pulled away to look up at his Vulcan, who now had a greenish blush softening the jagged ridges of his cheekbones, rendering him looking completely vulnerable. It was cute.

“Vulcans show our affection for our mates in different ways. So yes, such displays in public is not a “Vulcan thing” as you say. However, I do not want you to believe my hesitation stems from not wanting you in any way. Because I find myself wanting you very much at the moment.”

Jim leaned his head against Spocks. “So you’re uncomfortable with public displays of affection? Spock, I think that ship sailed when we hugged each other in the transporter room.”

Spock’s blush grew darker, his face remaining impassive. He opened his mouth but began to struggle with words.“I- I was overcome with... emotion. Seeing you safe was gratifying… I had feared…” his voice wavered a bit. He started again. “Jim, you are my T’hy’la. Someone who is precious to me. You are in essence my other half.”

Jim curled closer to Spock. “You’re my other half too, and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. If kissing in public isn’t your thing, tell me what is.”

Spock raised his hand, extending two fingers.

Jim recognized it immediately, though he shouldn’t. He had never seen this type of display before, but he knew it was the Vulcan gesture roughly equivalent to the human kiss. 

He raised his hand and mimicked the position of his fingers. 

“Will this action accommodate your need for physical touch when in public?” Spocks asked, and Jim could feel he was slightly nervous.

“Hmm...maybe.” Jim teased pressing their fingers together. “But you can’t just cut me off cold turkey like that. Not after I’ve had a taste of you.”

“I do not understand human idioms,” Spock said, tilting his head slightly.

“What I mean is-,” He took his two fingers and trailed them down the back of Spock's hand. “I will respect your wishes to have limited public displays of affection, but don’t expect me to behave completely chaste.” He then carefully clasped Spock's wrist and brought the pale hand to his mouth, placing a soft kiss to the middle of his palm.

Spock’s eyes widened and his mouth clamped shut.

“I will behave myself in public, but promise me when we’re alone, you won’t hold back.” He breathed across his fingers.

Spock shivered in response, his eyes locked on Jim’s movements.

Jim tilted his head now extremely curious, according to his newfound information in his brain, Vulcan hands could be considered an erogenous zone. He then kissed Spock's fingers again, this time leaving his lips parted so that the pads of Spock’s digits could be licked by his tongue.

Spock’s eyes snapped up to his, almost in warning, but Jim just answered by sucking Spock's fingers further into his mouth with a mischievous grin.

“Jim.” Spock hissed harshly through his teeth in admonishment. He glanced around worried that they might be caught, but Jim just sucked harder with a wicked smile.

He watched Spock's eyes close and jaw tighten as pleasure curled through him. This was so hot. To see Spock reacting like this had just made it to the top of his most fun things-to-do list.

Spock’s breathing had become slightly uneven and Jim rolled his tongue along Spock’s finger pads just to see what he would do. 

Spock drew in a sharp breath and his eyes flew open pinning Jim with an almost predatory stare. The deep circles from under his eyes accentuated the black pupils blown wide in arousal.

Jim gave one long suck before the tips of Spock's fingers popped out his mouth with a sloppy sound.

“You like this, don’t you?” Jim murmured against his fingers. “Who would have thought?”

Spock released the smallest whimper possible in response. “Jim.”

“Yeah Spock?” He said with a smug smirk. 

Spock’s dark eyes searched Jim’s, and his hungry gaze dropped to his lips. 

“This is not the proper way to perform the ozh’esta.”

“You know what you’re probably right.” Jim leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Spock's lips. 

Spock without hesitation kissed him back hungrily before his eyes widened and he quickly pulled away. Footsteps could be heard walking towards their unit and a few seconds later Bones appeared in the entryway.

The tips of Spock's ears were bright green, but his face was an impeccable mask. Jim felt a little bad for pushing him, causing him almost to get caught.

“Alright commander, your turn.” Bones said approaching the biobed. He made a face at seeing Jim laying next to him and his gaze flew down to their connected hands. His lips thinned but he didn’t say anything, although he certainly looked like he wanted to.

Instead, he grabbed a medical scanner from a nearby drawer and began to scan Spock.

The room was quiet, and a bit tense. His last interaction with Bones has been a yelling match. They hadn’t had time to talk things through yet. None of them said anything to each other until Jim realized something. “Hey, where’s that other doctor? You know, the Caitian? Isn’t he the one who should be looking at Spock?”

Bones glanced at him, from the scanner. “I fired him. You're looking at the new CMO of this death trap.”

Jim’s jaw dropped. “What do you mean you fired him? That’s not how Starfleet works. Besides space is danger, death and disease remember? You hate space.”

Bones folded his arms. “Listen, I wasn’t too thrilled about it either, but here I am.” 

He turned away without further explanation and rummaged through a few drawers, pulling out three hyposprays. He quietly prepped them before turning to address Spock. “The last time you were in here, your vitals had dipped dangerously and I told you to rest and take it easy. I also told you to eat something but it appears my advice went in one-pointed ear and out the other.”

He pressed one on the hyposprays to Spock's neck. “You're basically running on fumes. These nutrients will help stabilize you.”

He picked up the second Hypospray and pressed it in the same spot. 

“Your mental scans are in the red zone, I’m surprised you’re not hallucinating. It’s dangerous for a Vulcan to stretch their limits as you have. You’re a mentally reliant species, meditation and Vulcan voodoo can only help so much, you need sleep just like the rest of us. I’m not a miracle worker you know, you have to take better care of yourself. I already have to chase after one dumbass I don’t need another one to worry about.”

Bones stood back and Jim could see the compassion in his face. Despite his harsh sounding words, Bones often cared deeply for others even if he didn’t show it all the time. 

“As your new doctor,” He said, finally pressing the last hypospray into his neck with a hiss. “I’m putting you to sleep until we reach StarBase Mecca.” Spock blinked in surprise and opened his mouth to protest, but his eyes quickly slid closed and his head fell against the headrest of the bed. He was fast asleep.

“Bones!? You know he’s gonna hate you for that when he wakes.”

“I don’t give a damn. Now, it’s your turn.” He walked over to the other side of the biobed and pulled a small stool out hidden from underneath a nearby counter. He sat down and scooted closer. “Let me see your neck.”

Jim lifted his head and Bones had him turn so that he could see the extent of the damage.

“Does it hurt really bad anywhere?”

“It’s just sore.”

“What about here? On a scale of 1 to 10, how badly does it hurt?” Bones pressed on a point and Jim winced. 

“It’s not too bad, maybe like a 5?”

Bones nodded and began scanning him. “You’re blood sugar’s low. When was the last time you ate?”

Jim suddenly remembered there had been breakfast and coffee waiting for him before he had been attacked. He felt himself sulk. “I haven’t had anything to eat today.”

“Is your stomach still bothering you from the poison?” He lowered the scanner to Jim’s stomach.

“No.”

Bones studied the scanner before nodding and turning away. He then rolled himself to a drawer using the stool and pulled out what Jim recognized as a dermal regenerator.

“Alright, your wounds are mostly superficial, but Macintosh did a number on yer neck. He didn’t cause as much damage as he could have, because he himself was a bit weak from hiding in the Jefferies tubes. When we’re done here I’ll send one of the nurses to get you some food.”

Bones was being strictly clinical and Jim could tell that even though he wasn’t really mad anymore, he was still upset from their last fight. He rolled the stool back over and carefully tipped his neck forward and began healing his neck from the back. Jim could feel the itching sensation as it treated his markings and he reached up to scratch it, but Bones slapped his hand away without a verbal reprimand.

The room was tense but Bones continued to diligently work on him until he got to the front of his neck.

“Is this a hickey?”

Jim pinched his lips together. Uh-oh.

“Oh my God Jim, did the Vulcan give you a hickey?”

Jim looked away, “Well…”

Bones frowned and brought the scanner back to his neck, desperately trying to erase the mark.

“No, wait I wanna keep it!” Jim said, pushing him away with a laugh.

“You’re not keeping it.”

“Even if you get rid of it, I will just have him give me another.”

Bones gave him a horrified look. “Ugh! Jim don’t go around letting the Vulcan suck on you like a vampire!”

“You’re right, I probably should be the one doing the sucking.” Jim licked his lips suggestively to emphasize his double meaning.

“Do you want to put me in an early grave? Because that’s what you’re doing. You’re putting me in an early grave.”

Despite his show of disgust, Jim could see a smile tugging and the corners of his mouth.

They were quiet for a few moments and Bones hefted a sigh. The tension in the room released and everything seemed to return to normal between them.

They weren’t mad at each other anymore, they could never stay mad at each other for too long. They were too good of friends to do so. Jim silently waited for Bones to speak because it looked like he was gathering the courage to say something.

“I wanted to apologize for my earlier behavior. Out of the two of us, I should be the one who has their head on straight. It’s just that...I've never seen you talk about anyone so seriously before. Watching you talk about rushing into marriage like that reminded me of myself with my ex-wife. I was so in love with her that I didn’t realize she wasn’t as in love with me in return. Then she got pregnant with Joanna and our marriage was rushed. It was no one’s fault really, we were just kids, but as you know the divorce was extremely bitter.”

Bones leaned back on the stool and folded his arms. “I just didn’t want the same thing to happen to you. I didn’t want you to rush into a relationship with an emotionally dead Vulcan. You’ve always fallen in love way too fast, but this is a new one, even for you.”

“But it’s different with me and Spock. We’re soulmates.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought about me and my ex-wife. I thought we were soulmates too.”

“No Bones-“ he didn’t really know how to explain the bond any more than he had last time they had this discussion. He huffed. “Nevermind. The point is he’s not emotionally dead. He loves me just as much as I love him.”

Bones looked down at their combined hands. “Well, you might be right about that. I’ve never seen a Vulcan willingly touch some like you are now.” He paused and brought his hand to his eyes with a sigh.

“You should have seen his face when he discovered you were in danger, he had this look of fear that was unmistakable. I didn’t even know Vulcans could look afraid. I thought their faces were just stuck like that.” He scratched the side of his jaw. “Just- please Jim, take things slow with this one. I would hate to see you hurt in any way like I was.”

Jim nodded. He supposed telling Bones they were basically married now, would be the wrong move. “Yeah, okay Bones. Thanks for looking out for me.”

“Well someone has to since everybody wants to kill you.”

“Speaking of that,” he asked slowly, “Hows Macintosh?”

“Well, he’ll be kept asleep too until we reach Starbase Mecca. The commander here caused some serious stress fractures to the bones in his neck and he almost crushed his larynx. Once we get to the Starbase Admiral Sue is calling a big meeting with the head of Starfleet to go over exactly what happened to try and get to the bottom of everything. It’ll be like an unofficial deposition of sorts. You’ll have to be there, along with Captain Macintosh and unfortunately Frank.”

Jim looked away. He didn’t want to see that monster. He had hoped that once he had joined Starfleet his old life would be left behind him. 

“It’s okay Jim I’ll be there to support you, along with Pike and I don’t think your new Vulcan boyfriend will leave you hanging.” Bones patted his knee in comfort.

Jim nodded “Yeah, okay...Was that really a clone of Captain Mac?”

“Didn’t your Vulcan explain anything to you?”

“Um no, we were caught up in other things.”

“What other- you know what? I don’t even want to know. But yeah, the Macintosh they recovered from the destroyed USS Star Marker was a clone and the real Captain Mac was the stowaway, we don’t know much more than that. Will have to wait and see what he says at the meeting.”

Jim nodded a bit stiffly.

Bones blew out a breath not knowing what else to say and busied himself putting the dermal regenerator away.

“Unless you changed your mind about getting rid of that hickey, you’re all patched up and ready to go. You can bunk with me in my guest quarters since your self-proclaimed champion is down and out and there’s no longer a mysterious stowaway on board trying to kill you.”

“Actually can I stay here with Spock?”

Bones rolled his eyes. “Sure kid. Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, the chapters have been slow. I am now fully recovered from COVID, but I am now in the process of moving.  
> I didn't forget you, my lovely readers. Thank you for bearing with me, and leaving me such kind comments. They always encourage me.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, I was almost dead and now I'm not, so here's another chapter.  
> P.s This chapter is lengthy.

Jim removed his glasses to rub his eyes. 

They were his new pair that Bones had replicated for him since his other ones had been destroyed along with the USS Star Marker. They pinched the bridge of his nose a bit, but they weren’t too bad, they got the job done and that was what really mattered.

He closed down the writing document of his Orion story, that had been keeping him occupied all night he checked the time. 0400 hours.

Bones would be by any minute now to pull Spock from his sleep. 

Jim yawned. It wasn’t like he wasn’t used to being up so early, rather, he just hadn't really been sleeping well in the chair next to Spock's hospital bed for the last two days. He had tried to sleep in the hospital bed with Spock the first night before quickly realizing that Spock had been right about there hardly being any room and so he had been forced to move to a chair.

His gaze moved to Spock's quiet face and he smiled for no good reason. He just couldn’t help it, whenever he looked at Spock he could only feel a deep-rooted fondness spread throughout his chest.

Probably for the millionth time since Spock had been put to sleep he tried to examine the bond they shared in his mind. He knew it was there, he could feel it, but he wished he could actually see it like he had when they had shared a meld. Was it still shimmery and gold looking? Was it now attached to his mind as his parent’s bonds had been? He still had so many questions to ask Spock about being bonded, and the new abilities they might possibly possess together. Talking over distances and feeling each other’s emotions were amazing and even Spock had been shocked at how quickly he had acclimated to sharing a bond. He supposed he should be shocked too, but it just felt too right. Like it was somehow his destiny to be with him.

Feeling a little silly at the thought he chuckled to himself. 

“What’s got you in a good mood? You hate mornings. ”

Jim looked up to see Bones walk into the medical unit. His hair was his usual amount of disheveled, and he was wearing an Enterprise uniform. 

He pulled a face. “Is 4 am really considered morning?”

“You tell me. You grew up on a farm.” Bones said coming around Spock’s bed to check his bio scans.

Jim thought it was hilarious that Bones had somehow managed to get himself into the position of becoming the Enterprises CMO, even though he hated space. And the more he thought about, the funnier it became. 

Jim could ask for a transfer to the Enterprise now that he was cleared from his murder charges, and finish up his lenient credits with Pike. He and Spock could co-share duties and Bones would just be a few decks away. His partner and his best friend all in the same place. That would be the dream.

“Ready to wake the Vulcan sleeping beauty?” Bones asked as he prepared a hypospray.

“Yeah, but I don’t think he‘ll be very happy at finding out how long he’s been asleep.”

Bones rolled his eyes. “Look I had too. Otherwise, his body would have begun to fail. It’s not my fault that it took a few more days than originally intended.” He pressed the hypo into Spock’s neck and Jim heard the familiar hiss as the medicine released. 

After a few moments Spock’s’ eyes opened up and he looked at the ceiling in slight confusion, his gaze then traveled in his direction. The confusion on his face fading once their eyes connected and his expression softened. Darker than any chocolate Jim could think of, Spock's gaze seemed to engulf him in a way that was immediately intimate, and Jim felt like he could fall in love all over again. 

He couldn’t help but smile. “Good morning sleepyhead, are you feeling any better?” He placed a careful hand on Spock's own and ran his warm thumb across his cool knuckles.

Spock blinked owlishly at him, before turning his hand over so that their fingers could slide together. Jim could feel the thrum of reciprocated affection flare through their bond, but before Spock could answer his question, Bones stepped forward and began to scan his temple.

“Your scans look a lot better, and your blood sugars have returned to normal. That’s a good sign for a healthy Vulcan.” 

Spock seemed to be startled at Bones’ presence and carefully dislodged his hand from Jim’s.

He tried not to take offense, Spock still seemed a little shy around Bones, and he had stated his reluctance to share physical affection in front of others because it wasn’t the Vulcan way. It seemed extremely bizarre to Jim, considering they had walked into the med bay wrapped around each other, but he supposed Spock had the excuse of being very on edge considering he had saved him from almost being killed by Macintosh. 

Spock losing a little bit of his Vulcan control, was kind of cute to Jim when he really thought about it. But he knew Vulcans had their boundaries, and so he would just have to make accommodations.

Spock cared for him deeply and their relationship was still very new, but perhaps with time, they could find a healthy balance of public displays of affection in front of others besides sharing the ozh’esta. He would most certainly have to get used to Bones, considering he was always there inserting himself in his life.

Bones was like the helicopter parent he never asked for, and now that he was with Spock, the Vulcan just signed up for the same treatment.

Since their talk, Bones had changed his attitude towards Spock. It was very slight but he could see it every time he came in to check his vitals while Spock was asleep. He would check everything, give him nutritional hypo sprays and then check everything again, a normal routine for a doctor with their patient. But then Jim would catch him adjusting Spock's pillow or straightening his covers, small things that were unnecessary, and yet Bones did them because he was softening towards Spock, if only for his sake. 

Bones moved to grab another PADD on a nearby counter. “That’s- odd… your brain wave activity is different from your normal standard chart. I thought perhaps the influx of brain waves was you dreaming… but it almost looks like another person's brain waves are on top of yours...”

Jim’s eyes widened. Bones couldn’t be seeing the bond, could he? Would it show up on medical scans? He actually felt himself beginning to sweat. Bones could not find out that he was basically married to Spock this way.

He watched his friend turn to Spock, “Are you feeling alright? Maybe we should do a more invasive scan.”

“I am adequate, doctor,” Spock answered, his voice roughened from his sleep. “What you may be seeing is a change in my bonds, it is normal for Vulcans.”

Jim’s heart sputtered in his chest.

“Bonds?” Bones looked back to the chart and pursued his lips with uncertainty. “I’ve been brushing up on my Vulcan biology the past two days and I didn’t see much about bonds. Is that a telepathy thing?”

Spock slightly frowned. “Two days?” He asked, ignoring Bones' question, his dry voice becoming more prominent. “As I recall, before from my untimely treatment of being put to sleep, we were a few hours from StarBase Mecca. Now that I am awake I assume we are here. Why then have I been kept asleep for two days?”

Bones closed his PADD and walked to a small replicator hidden in the unit’s corner. He quickly replicated a glass of water and brought it to Spock. 

Jim used the opportunity to steer the conversation away from bonds. 

“You have been asleep for two days because Bones said you needed a bit longer to heal from your over-exhaustion. Starfleet has been waiting for his approval to release you from the medical bay because they want to hold a meeting to discuss everything that has happened. Starfleet Admiral Marrow has been called in to oversee the process alongside Admiral Sue and they are currently waiting for us on the StarBase.”

Bones nodded, affirming Jim’s words. “I personally wanted to keep you sleeping a bit longer but Fleet Admiral Marrow is not willing to wait any longer since he is needed back on Earth for other duties.”

Spock drank his water carefully taking in the information. “When is the meeting?” He asked when he was finished, his voice sounding clearer.

“At 0700,” Jim answered.

“And I presume all of those who were involved will be there, including Frank Davis?”

Jim gave a careful smile, but his stomach knotted unpleasantly. “Yeah. Including him.”

He could feel Spock thinking meticulously in the back of his head, but Jim couldn't decipher any of his thoughts.

The room was quiet for a moment and none of them said anything. The soft ambient noise of the medical machines filled the space before the prominent sound of footsteps could be heard approaching the unit.

“Knock, knock, who’s ready for some breakfast?” Nurse Chapel appeared cheerfully in the doorway with two covered food trays stacked on top of one another.

Jim’s smile broadened. “I definitely know I am.”

The nurse smiled back as she approached Jim and handed him a tray, before turning to Spock's hospital bed and pulling out a small table attached to the side. 

“Glad to see you’re awake Commander,” she said as she placed the tray in front of him. “What would you like to drink? I know Mr. Kirk is bound to have a coffee.”

“Hey,” Jim said playfully offended, “it’s the only way I know how to live.”

She rolled her eyes, but ignored him, “Would water suffice Commander?” She said, noticing the empty cup in his hands.

Spock raised a curious brow, seemingly confused by something, but did not voice whatever he was thinking and nodded to the nurse.

Taking the cup, she walked past Bones to the small replicator on the wall and retrieved another water and black coffee for Jim.

Once they revived their drinks she turned to Bones. “You have a message waiting for you in your office Doctor and Captain Pike would like to see you at your earliest convenience.”

Bones nodded, “Thank you, nurse.” He stifled a yawn and then rolled his head to crack his neck before looking at Jim. “You two eat and then try to catch the Commander here up on today’s schedule. We only have a few hours before the meeting.”

Jim, who had already uncovered his breakfast platter and had a mouth full of buttered bagel, raised his thumbs up in response as he chewed.

Bones scoffed and left with the nurse.

Spock looked down at his tray and then cocked his head to the side looking perplexed. He then lifted his head and stared at him.

“What?” Jim asked around a mouth full of bagel.

Spock lifted the platter lid, revealing a freshly cut root dish with a mixture of blended orange herbs. “This dish…at first, when I smelled it, I thought the probability of its appearance was highly unlikely.”

Jim gave a sheepish grin “Surprise.” he said as he took another bite of his bagel. “I thought you might like it when you came out of your sleep. It’s sorta an apology meal. I didn’t realize how taxed you had become through all of-” Jim waved his hands around grasping for a good description of everything that had occurred in the past few...what was in now? Two weeks? “ Well, this nonsense.” He settled on saying.

He took a sip of his coffee. “Bones showed me your scans and how bad your mental facilities had gotten, I didn’t know you had been staying awake the entire time… even after we…” he faltered a bit. “I just wanted you to wake up to something nice.”

Jim pursed his lips. It sounded kind of lame when he said everything out loud. He cringed inwardly. Was this too emotional?

“This meal is not registered in our database,” Spock said calmly.

Jim blinked, slightly embarrassed. “Um no. I actually added the recipe to the replicator program myself. There are not many Vulcan dishes available onboard. This one, however, I um...well this is gonna sound weird, but I somehow knew through our bond that you would want this dish. Although I couldn’t find the direct recipe anywhere in our database, I knew the ingredients as if they were from my own memory and so I just programmed it. Do you like it?”

Jim’s mind was suddenly exposed to a tremendous amount of affection and gratitude and he had to physically lean back in his chair slightly, not to become overwhelmed. “Woah,” he said with a huge smile, “I will take that as a yes.”

Spock's face was passive but there was certain happiness to his eyes and the corner of his lips were slightly turned upward.

“You are correct, this is indeed a welcome surprise. I am not, however, surprised at the fact that you could not find this dish in the database for it does not exist as a recipe. I have in fact only tasted this meal one other time.”

Jim raised an eyebrow confused. “One other time? What do you mean?”

“On the day I returned from my kahs-wan. My mother made this dish for me. She did not replicate it, stating that it was made from love. An illogical statement considering she meant that it was a metaphorical representation of her affection, rather than love being a tangible ingredient. At that time I did not understand her idiosyncrasies, and although my completion of the kahs-wan’s marked me as an adult, I made the error in asking her not to make it for me again. A decision, if I were prone to such notions, I would come to regret.”

Jim sipped his coffee thoughtfully. Kahs-wan’s? A trial into the desert where the Vulcan was expected to survive in order to be considered an adult. It was a rite of passage that all young Vulcans are expected to accomplish, his brain helpfully supplied with sudden foreign knowledge.

“The dish,” Spock continued, “was created specifically by my mother to be full of nutrients. She designed it to help me regain my strength back after enduring the grueling conditions of the Kahs-wan’s.” Spock delicately picked up his fork and carefully gathered a bit of root on the end. “I remember how quickly my energy had been restored after eating the dish, and later as I served aboard the Enterprise I often found myself wishing I could eat it once more, especially after a taxing away mission, but I never attempted to recreate the dish.”

“Well, no wonder I got the impression you would want this. I guess your body was craving something it knew it could rely on to help you feel better. Is knowing what your partner wants beforehand a bondmate thing or a t’hy’la thing?”

“I am unaware if it particularly stems from one or the other, but I too have experienced knowledge of what you might like before you awoke. I prepared coffee for you, black, the morning after we bonded.”

Spock took a bite and Jim remained silent, waiting for the verdict on how close he had gotten to the taste of the original dish.

“You have replicated it remarkably well.” Spock finally commented after he had swallowed, and Jim felt like that compliment could make him soar. His heart thumped in his chest and he felt stupidly happy. 

“Thank you, Jim, your gesture is greatly appreciated.” Spock held out his hand, extending two fingers and Jim did the same, but as their fingertips touched Jim leaned forward and planted a kiss on Spock's cool cheek, lingering there with his lips. 

He breathed in through his nose, inhaling Spock’s crisp scent, and closed his eyes to take a moment for himself.

Spock didn’t pull away, or remove his fingers from Jim’s, but rather he closed his own eyes savoring Jim’s affection.

_“Are you feeling better? Honestly?”_

_“Indeed. You need not have any lingering concerns.”_

Jim withdrew himself and they continued to eat their breakfast in compatible silence. He was happy Spock was awake and feeling better, but underneath that happiness, anxiety was beginning to bubble in his chest about the upcoming meeting.

He would be sitting in a room with, not only the captain that had almost killed him but also the man who made his childhood a living hell. 

Jim silently sighed to himself. It’s not like he was a kid anymore, Frank couldn’t just vault drunkenly across the room to get him. 

Not with Spock there at least. So why did he feel so vulnerable?

He stared into the bottom of his now empty coffee mug, deep in thought. He would be a Starship captain someday and fear of the unknown was nothing new. This meeting would be no different than meeting with a couple of Klingons. Although if he was being honest with himself, he would prefer Klingons to his stepfather. At least with Klingons, you knew where you stood. They announced what they intended to do to you proudly and loudly enough for all to hear, but with Frank… 

Jim rubbed the mug's ceramic handle. 

Frank was quieter...stealthy somehow. People had always believed him over Jim. Always convincing people that he was the problem. A troubled child with severe authority issues. Nobody ever believed him.

“Jim?”

“Hm? What is it, Spock?”

Spock looked at him closely. “You are anxious. I can only assume its pertaining to the upcoming meeting with your stepfather. Would you care to discuss your worries with me?”

“There’s not much to discuss really. He’s a crappy person, and if your theory is correct he is somehow involved with my captain trying to kill me.”

Spock continued to study him. “Jim, I believe what troubles you is deeper than that. There is no shame in your emotional response to being in a room with the parental figure who physically abused you in childhood.”

Jim became alarmed. “How do you- Is it the bond? Can you see my memories like in a meld?” He never told any of his past partners about his abuse as a child, the only reason Bones knew was because of his medical records.

“While we do have access to each other’s thoughts, and knowledge, I do not have access to your memories unless you share them with me.”

“I never said…” Jim’s voice trailed off in almost silent horror. “The kid from our meld...the younger version of me...he had bruises.”

Spock nodded. “In my brief interaction with him, it was not hard to deduce.”

Jim looked away trying to digest everything. “You’re a lot more observant than most people.” He mumbled.

“Your younger self said the same thing, but if one were to pay closer attention to the majority of the child’s wounds, one could determine that they were defensive.”

Jim scratched the side of his cheek. “The younger version of me was playing with a younger version of you...and you said that you left a part of yourself in my mind? Who, or rather, what are they? They aren’t memories.”

Spock looked down as his breakfast platter unseeing. “I am not sure. Your mind is not like any other I have encountered. Perhaps it is your way of holding onto the past as most humans do, or perhaps you shut your childhood away protecting him from others as you were forced to mature due to trauma.”

“But what about the little version of you?”

Spock looked up and met his eyes.

“I am only half Vulcan. I too succumb to human weaknesses. Perhaps a part of me knew I could leave him in your mind for safekeeping.”

Jim found himself smiling, feeling some of the tension in his chest ebb away. “I don’t know how safe he'll be with the younger version of myself. Poor little Vulcan, I was definitely a hellion as a kid. But despite their differences, they somehow make a really good pair.”

Spock titled his head to the side and considered him. “Yes. We do.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------

After their breakfast together Jim had explained the meeting schedule to Spock and then they parted ways so he could submit his official statement to the records for the upcoming meeting. When he was done Spock met Jim back up in quarters so that they could quickly change into professional Starfleet uniforms used for diplomatic meetings such as these. Jim had to have one replicated for him and he always hated how the gray uniforms dulled his skin tone. Spock however made his look pretty decent, if not downright sexy. Which didn’t seem fair to him, but then again Spock probably looked sexy in anything and Jim wasn’t complaining. He couldn’t help but stare at his new husband’s backside the entire way down to the transporter room where they met Captain Pike and Bones before beaming over to StarBase Mecca.

They were then led to a long conference room clear across the StarBase where they were told to wait.

Jim had never been to this particular starbase before but he wasn’t impressed by the scratched mint green walls and gray paneling lining the floor. It seemed a bit outdated for him, but they did have the latest screen monitor model installed at the from to the room which would be perfect for viewing any evidence brought up in the meeting. He cringed as he remembered they had security footage of him punching the clone, who he believed to be Macintosh. He had to remind himself that he was now cleared of the murder charges, and even if they did show the footage, he was now considered the victim in this circumstance.

The only thing he was really worried about was seeing Frank. 

Bones, Pike, and Spock chose to sit at the end of the table but he could not calm his nerves enough to hold still, instead, he opted to pace the length of the room while his friends watched from their seats.

“Jim. Stop walking around, you're making me dizzy.” Bones said.

Jim waved him off and he continued to pace.

The electric door beeped and the doors to the room parted. His anxiety spiked but instead of seeing Frank or Macintosh enter, an older looking gentleman in a calming brown suit was revealed. His sharp blue eyes locked onto Jim and he gave a strong smile. 

“You must be Mr. Kirk.” The man said, coming to greet him. “My name is Samuel T. Cogley, attorney at law. I was hired to be your representative on behalf of Christopher Pike, but seeing as how you have been cleared of your murder charges, I’m not sure I am needed anymore. I am willing to stay, however, if you feel you might need someone to handle any legalese or claims as a victim.”

Jim smiled and shook the man’s hand. The smell of old books wafted from his suit and he recognized the distinct scent of ink and paper from his skin. This man was really old school and Jim instantly liked him. “I don’t mind if you stay at all. You never know right?” 

The man nodded and hefted a thick file full of papers he had been hiding under his arm onto the table.” I have the statements you have all submitted, but before we continue forward is there anything I should know? Or anything you can think of that will help me protect you further?”

Jim shook his head, “Not anything I can think of…”

Cogley nodded and pulled out a small pair of glasses to settle on the end of his nose. “Alright. So basically this meeting is to review what has transpired during this incident and I am told by Evan Macintosh’s attorney that he has admitted full guilt to everything, and claims he will not be fighting the charges brought against him. He has however made a claim that Frank Davis, your stepfather was heavily involved, and so we will be reviewing that claim into today’s meeting as well with his attorney.”

Cogley licked the tips of his fingers and thumbed through some paperwork. “And let’s see here, Mr. Spock I know your statement was rushed due to the fact you just woke up from your medically induced sleep, but it was very concise and I was able to start the paperwork you requested from Vulcan and it looks like I’m just waiting on an approval from someone named T’pau.”

Spock nodded, and Jim could feel this news pleased him. He turned to Spock, “What paperwork did you-”

The door to the conference room beeped again and the doors swished open. 

Admiral Sue, with her strong commanding presence, walked in, followed by Fleet Admiral Marrow. They nodded to Jim and the rest of his party before taking their seats at the front of the table just under the large monitor.

Fleet Admiral Marrow examined Jim with hard green eyes. They of course had met on a few occasions but Jim had never gotten a good read of his character. He had a long drawn out career as a Starfleet captain and Admiral, but his service was uneventful and so he rose in the ranks quickly as a model officer.

“Gentlemen.” Marrow said in greeting. “Please have a seat while we wait for the other members of our meeting to arrive, they should be here any second.”

Jim looked to Cogley, and the attorney nodded. He then walked over and took a seat next to Spock, while Cogley sat on his other side 

He glanced at Bones who was closest to the front where Marrow and Sue sat and he seemed to be answering a question from Pike, who was on the other side of Spock. The room was quiet, and the only noise Jim could hear was the scratching of his attorney’s pen on a yellow note pad he had pulled from somewhere

Jim nervously glanced at Spock's hands resting neatly on his lap. He wished he could have reached over to thread their fingers together, but this space was definitely too public for Spock. So instead he turned his palms over and tried to wipe the building sweat on his pants.

The door beeped and soon his old captain made an appearance with a small Spanish woman presumably his attorney by his side. They were followed by two station security officers and then finally his stepfather with his own attorney stepped into view. 

Jim wanted to look away but found he couldn’t. 

Frank Davis looked different from the last time he had seen him. His sand-colored hair and beard were now completely silver and the deep crow’s feet around his eyes stretched downwards towards his cheeks. Despite his physical differences, the jean jackets and denim were the same.

Frank glanced at him before taking a seat at the far end of the table and his attorney, a tall thin balding man sat next to him.

Jim straightened his spine and looked away forcing his face to remain neutral.

Macintosh sat directly across from him on the other side of the table two seats away from Frank. He too glanced up at Jim but quickly looked down in shame. He looked beyond defeated, with his face slightly shallow accompanied by dark circles under his eyes. His head hung forward matching his sloping shoulders and his demeanor was vastly different from anything Jim had seen. He had a hard time believing that this was the man who had tried to strangle him in his sleep.

Fleet Admiral Marrow cleared his throat. “Alright, now that everyone is here we can begin. However, I must ask security to wait outside considering that this meeting will be a closed file once completed.”

The two station security officers looked at each other. “Are you certain Sir? We were told this was a potential murder trial.” 

Marrow nodded. “We will call you if we need anything.”

The two officers turned with a few lingering looks at the participants in the room before departing.

“Now let's get started.” Marrow said leaning forward to press a few buttons on the table Jim hadn’t noticed before. “As I just told those two officers, this meeting will only happen once and then will be sealed from the records since it is concerning a victim of the Tarsus IV massacre. In accordance with article 3.56 of Starfleet and inner galactic law.”

The computer in the room beeped and then announced that it was recording. 

Marrow picked up a PADD “ I have read all of the statements provided, but there seem to be some discrepancies among your testimonies. I would like for all of you to recount your involvement in this case once again, and I will review any evidence provided as we proceed. I will also be asking you questions to confirm or deny any claims if they stray from your original testimonies or to clear up any questions I personally might have.” 

Marrow cleared his throat and his hard eyes swept the room. “I must inform you that due to these unusual circumstances I will then personally determine the outcome for each and every one of you on a case to case basis. Let us begin with the testimony of James T. Kirk if you could stand and state your full name and rank for the record.”

Jim stood up and kept his eyes trained forward towards the front where Marrow sat.

“My name is James Tiberius Kirk, and my rank was lieutenant commander of the USS Star Marker.”

“Very good Mr. Kirk. Now tell us how you believed this incident began.”

“On stardate 47634.44 I was taken off of my normal duties to be placed in the Star mapping lab. It was odd, but the Clone, who I believed to be captain Macintosh at the time assured me it was what he wanted me to do. After an uneventful shift, I was summoned back up to the captain's ready room on the bridge. When I walked in, the cabin was a mess, with paperwork strewn about everywhere.”

Marrow raised a hand and Jim stopped, “In your statement, you claimed that these were gambling ledgers?”

“Yes.” 

Jim suddenly got nervous, was he going to have to explain the only reason he remembered that fact was due to a mind meld? He remained silent as he watched Marrow scribble something on his PADD.

“Do you remember anything else about the ledgers? Company names? Betting houses?”

“No.”

“Alright continue.”

Jim nodded. “I was then taken by surprise by the clone who held a phaser to my head. He told me if I wanted to live I would have to do everything he told me. I was then ordered to have the crew disembarking and abandon ship on a nearby M class planet, which the clone had moved us too from the Halon Sector. The clone refused to tell me what was going on but claimed he was trying to save everyone's lives, and so I did as I was commanded. After everyone had disembarked the clone then had me move the ship to the Klingon border. He was panicked and irrational and so I tried to reason with him, hoping to get an explanation as to what was going on but instead, he led me down to the escape pod bay. At the first opportunity, I disarmed the clone and demanded he explain what was going on. ”

Jim swallowed, knowing he would have to admit this next part on an official record made him cringe. He would have to power through it.

“Rather than answer, the clone became flustered and admitted that he was in love with me and that he was attempting to protect me. He then tried to convince me to run away with him, claiming that I was in danger and that he had a house on Risa where we could live together.”

Jim chanced a glance at the real Macintosh but the man still had his head hung low.

“When I refused we fought for the phaser, but the clone overpowered me and ended up knocking me out with a nearby pipe. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in an escape pod.”

Marrow held up his hand again. “The fight between you and the clone, that was the footage recovered from the Star Markers computer?”

Jim nodded.

“And this footage along with your DNA evidence left on the clone’s body was the reason you had the murder charges brought up against you?”

Jim looked to Cogley and the man nodded.

“Yes sir.” He answered.

“Admiral Sue, do you have the footage in question?”

The Admiral nodded, “ Yes Sir I can play it on the screen for you now.”

Everybody looked to the monitor and the recovered footage was displayed. Jim hadn’t seen it till now and he grimaced. Yeah okay, he could see how bad it made him look.

“I can see how this would be incriminating.” Marrow commented after it was done. “and how do we know this footage contains the clone and not the real captain Macintosh?”

Jim opened his mouth to speak but Cogley answered for him.

“If you look carefully Mr. Kirk is shown to be taken by surprise as he moves to block the clone expecting his punch to originate from his right, but instead is attacked from the left. If I may refer you to the medical records provided by Dr. Leonard McCoy, they show the clone was left-handed and the real Macintosh is right-handed.”

Marrow nodded and noted something in his PADD. “You may continue Mr. Kirk.”

“Well, when I woke up in the pod I had no clue where I was or what had happened. I seemed to be stuck in some sort of hole in space, the entrance of which kept opening and closing randomly. My escape pod refused to move forward and so I dismantled parts of the pod to create my distress signal and then launched it into space through the hole.”

“And you claim that you disguised your distress signal because you did not want Macintosh to find you?” Marrow asked with a raised brow.

“Yes.”

“And you had no knowledge of the detonators that destroyed the USS Star Marker?”

“No. All I knew at that point was that I was stuck in some hole. I did see the debris of the space vessel at one point, but I wasn’t sure what to make of it.”

Marrow thrummed his fingers on the table in thought. “Hmm. And so your distress signal was recovered and you were able to make contact with the Enterprise.” The Fleet Admiral paused to read something on his PADD screen. “The way they ended up rescuing you was quite unique, but not completely full proof. Captain Pike reported that a signal was sent to disrupt the torpedo's path, almost killing you.”

“Yes sir.”

“And then after you were taken into custody you were then poisoned by Tritortyol which is an escape pods insulation coating? Is that correct?”

“Yes Sir. The poison was from a second escape pod discovered in the area. After I was poisoned I was then moved to Commander Spock's cabin for protection. They had assumed a stowaway may have somehow made it aboard and was trying to kill me. And they were right. I woke up to Captain Macintosh choking me. He had gotten into the room through a broken vent panel.”

Marrow's eyes flicked to Spock for a brief moment and then back to him. “And this is where Commander Spock “protected” you, by nearly breaking Mr. Macintosh’s neck?”

Jim frowned. He didn’t like the emphasis Marrow had put on the word protected. 

“Sir. If Commander Spock hadn’t been there, I would be dead. I was caught completely off guard when I was attacked. I don’t think his excessive use of force wasn’t warranted.”

The fleet Admiral tapped a finger to his chin in thought. “Very well Mr. Kirk I have no further questions for you, thank you for your testimony. Please sit down and we will move onto Captain Pike.”

Jim sat down and felt his attorney pat his shoulder. He looked over but the man was already scribbling something new down on his notepad. He tried to read it, but the only words he could make out was Vulcan Clan transference.

Confused he turned his attention back to the front, but he could feel eyes on the side of his face. His eyes.

Like an animal of prey knowing that danger was near, he tried to hold completely still hoping that he could somehow just fade into the awful green walls of the conference room. Spock glanced at him and he felt a small wave of comfort cross the bond.

_“Jim?”_

_“I’m fine Spock.”_ He thought quickly, but he could feel sweat beginning to bead at the back of his neck. 

Jim swallowed, what was wrong with him? He had faced certain death more than once and yet his stepfather was able to just glance at him and cause fear to stir in his chest?

He looked down at Spock's hands again and wished to just reach out to touch him. To reaffirm that he was there. But instead, he curled his hands into fists.

He could feel Spock's confused thoughts, _“Jim, I am here with you through the bond.”_

Jim didn’t answer. He was becoming extremely emotional and he didn’t know how to explain to Spock that physical comfort was different than the mental kind.

He focused on Pike's testimony with intensity, but it was very brief and concise, and before Jim knew it Spock stood up to give his statement.

“Mr. Spock, your statement was extremely detailed and overly long. I had to skim most of the pages to even be prepared for this meeting. I’m surprised you could submit such a thing after being woken up from your medically induced sleep this morning. I’ll ask that you make a revised version in your testimony here today.”

Jim watched Spock calmly blink and then nod. “Yes Sir, though, may I point out that everything I stated in my statement was of relevance to the case at hand.”

Marrow gave a small sigh, “Yes of course. That will be noted for the record, but please give us your best-condensed version. Please stand to state your full name, and rank for the record.”

“S'chn T'gai Spock, Lieutenant Commander Of the USS Enterprise.”

“Thank you Mr.Spock you may now begin to tell us how you believed this incident began.”

“On Stardate 49634.54 the Enterprise responded to a distress signal sent out near the Klingon border. It did not have a star fleet signature and it stopped transmitting before we reached the area. Upon arrival, the enterprise discovered the destroyed vessel of the USS Star Marker and communications officer Lieutenant Uhura determined that the computer banks had been scrubbed clean. The only information she was able to pull from the vessel's computer was that two escape pods had been launched before the ship had been destroyed by what looked to be Klingon fire. Uncertain if there were survivors due to its proximity near the Klingon border we began to investigate. As we recovered pieces of the destroyed science vessel, our head engineer Mr. Ramirez, came across a strange device, which according to their scans, was composed of pieces belonging to a USS Star Marker escape pod. Its circuitry was crude and it resembled a beacon communicator indicating that its construction was intentional and that it was a self-crafted distress signal. Captain Pike assigned me to try and reactivate it due to my previous experience in compartmentalized mechanics. As we continued our investigation, we discovered only one body among ship wreckage. At the time we believed to be the real captain Mackintosh. Our CMO on staff, Dr. Mites, determined that the man had been in two separate altercations just before he died and the last attack he was in had killed him and the weapon used was a conduit pipe. It was then determined that he had been a victim of murder. DNA evidence discovered under the clones' fingernails brought up firewalls in the computer system, and so identification of the attacker could not be made. Pike suspected that he might know whose DNA it was because of the firewalls and he relieved me of all other duties to work on the device we discovered. Soon after I made contact with Mr.Kirk and with the help of an Engineer sent by Starfleet named Mr. Scott, we made visual contact. I was then informed that Mr. Davis and his attorney were trying to claim life insurance on Mr. Kirk, arguing that there was no proof of life. I disagreed since we were clearly in communication with him but due to the unusual circumstances, I was told the claimant himself would be coming with an attorney to evaluate the situation. If the attorney was able to prove that Mr.Kirk was as good as dead, then Starfleet would have no other option but to pay out his life insurance policy and we may be asked to give up on a rescue. That, fortunately, did not happen, due to Mr. Scott who came up with a solution for rescue.”

Marrow raised his hand to stop Spock, “ If I may, Mr. Spock, ask you about the claims in your statement you submitted. You personally suspect that Frank Davis had an accomplice you believed to be Macintosh may have sabotaged the rescue attempt, is that correct?”

“Affirmative.”

“Can you explain your reasoning and any evidence for that claim?” Marrow asked with a raise of his brow.

“A subsonic re-router unit belonging to Mr. Davis was discovered next to the transporter memory panel, which keeps the DNA records of all things beamed aboard. The crosshair scorch marks left on the circuit board matched that particular unit perfectly and the data for the DNA records had been erased. In addition, 5 minutes and 35 seconds of security footage had been scrubbed from the data banks from the transporter room. Mr. Kirk’s rescue attempt was almost foiled by an uploaded subroutine sent from that room. The signal had been sent using a backchannel only accessible to Captains. I believe that Mr. Davis beamed Mr. Macintosh aboard and then erased his DNA from the transporter memory panel.”

“Starfleet Admiral Marrow, this is conjecture.” Interrupted Frank's attorney. “There’s no proof that definitively places my client down in the transporter room during Mr. Kirk’s rescue. I was with my client when they sent security to check on us, and my client has informed me that he dropped the device when he first beamed aboard the Enterprise. Anyone could have used the unit to erase the data and beam Mr. Macintosh aboard.”

Marrow frowned but nodded. “Mr. Spock you may continue with your testimony, but please move on to the next part.”

Spock nodded and continued “After Mr. Kirk was rescued, and then taken into custody Mr. Scott discovered a second escape pod belonging to the USS Star Marker. It appeared to be empty and so we brought it aboard the Enterprise. The walls were cracked and the chemical compound Tritortyol was exposed  
Shortly after Mr. Kirk was poisoned by Tritortyol which came from that very pod. He was then moved to my cabin for protection as we believed that there was a stowaway on board that wished him harm, but despite precautions, Mr. Macintosh made his way into my cabin surpassing 4 guards.”

“Ah yes. He had gotten into the room through a broken vent panel. Can you tell me, Mr. Spock, how you knew Mr. Kirk was in danger? Your statement puts you in the medical bay when you learned of the intrusion, and not even the guards posted outside knew anything was wrong until you showed back up.”

Jim swallowed nervously. Was Spock going to tell everyone about the bond they shared, and how he had cried out for him with his thoughts while being choked?  
Spock’s demeanor remained calm, unlike Jim’s sudden alarm. 

“You are correct, I was called to the medical bay to meet with Captain Pike, but on my way there I was radioed by one of the security officers stationed outside my cabin. He claimed that a man identifying himself as the engineer Mr. Scott was there to fix the broken vent in my quarters. While my vent did indeed need to be fixed, I was not open to the idea of anyone there without supervision. I will admit, I did not suspect any danger until Mr. Scott showed up at the medical bay with Captain Pike claiming that he had been looking for the stowaway all morning and had been nowhere near my cabin.”

Jim almost sighed with relief. He hadn’t known about that part.

“I see.” Marrow said, making a note of something on his PADD. “And you were unwell when you nearly killed Mr. Macintosh correct?”

“Mr. Kirk was moved to my cabin for protection, and that was what I was doing. I was protecting him.” Spock answered.

“Yes but your own statement says that you became emotionally compromised, yes?”

“Correct.”

“And this was due to exhaustion?” Marrow asked curiously.

“Correct. While Vulcans have great endurance superior to that of humans, we too can suffer the effects of being overworked, which in this situation could not have been avoided if we were to save Mr. Kirk.”

Marrow made a humming noise and studied Spock, his eyes flicking between him and Jim.

The Fleet Admiral clearly wanted to press the matter further, but he, like most humans, knew that if Vulcans didn’t want to share something they could easily evade answering. Marrow's face fell and Jim could actually see him making the decision not to ask any more questions. “Very well. I hope Mr. Spock that you are feeling better. Thank you for your testimony, you may be seated.”

Spock sat back down and Jim couldn’t help but glance at him. They shared a brief look before the fleet Admiral finally called on Evan Macintosh to stand and give his testimony.

The man stood along with his attorney and said nothing as she spoke first. “My client, against my recommendations, wishes to admit guilt for participating in planning to kill Mr.Kirk. He will not be fighting any charges brought against him.” The attorney looked less than pleased with her own announcement but turned to Macintosh and gestured for him to start talking. “Go ahead, Evan.”

The man straightened his shoulders and cleared his throat, “On StarDate 344634.44 a poker game on board my ship triggered a relapse to the gambling addiction I had when I was younger. I had been sober for years but before I knew it I was back to gambling houses. It didn’t take me very long to blow through my savings and Starfleet credits, so I secretly began selling off USS Star Markers star charts to various parties at different ports to sustain my cash flow. As my losses increased I found myself going into deeper and deeper debt. Soon I became so desperate to find another source of income I began to look through my crew’s records to see if there was any possible way of getting money out of them. I admit this was a low point for me, but I didn’t care. I happened to stumble across Lieutenant Commander Kirk’s records and found them lacking in information. Hoping he possibly had a criminal record due to the firewalls in place I put in a request that would allow me access to his past files. Soon after I was contacted by Mr. Davis, who was wondering why I was trying to access his stepsons' information. At first, I tried to play it off as me just being a concerned captain but he somehow saw through my intentions. He accused me of going after Mr. Kirk’s very large inheritance tied up in a life insurance policy, but instead of getting angry or reporting me, he proposed a deal. If I helped get rid of Kirk he would split the payout with me.”

The hair on Jim’s arms rose and he felt sick to his stomach. Having suspicions that someone wanted you dead, was different than having them actually confirm it in front of you.

Marrow's green eyes slid to Frank. “Your response to this Mr. Davis? Did you reach out to Mr. Macintosh to collaborate on a scheme that would result in the death of Mr. Kirk and his life insurance payout?”

Jim watched Frank calmly look to his attorney for reassurance before answering the question. “I admit that I reached out to Mr. Macintosh because I was concerned about who was looking into my stepson’s files. I have an alert set up so every time someone tries to access it. I would never offer such a thing, I was just trying to protect Jimmy's privacy.”

Jim’s face hardened to stone and he flinched inwardly. Hearing that name again triggered something deep inside of him and he began to sweat. Suddenly his official uniform was too tight, and the room seemed to grow considerably warmer. His fingers that were wrapped into tight fists grew cold. 

Macintosh’s face morphed into anger. “That's not true and you know it!” he yelled, turning to Frank.

“Mr. Macintosh please, restrain yourself. I do not want to bring security back into the room but if anyone gets out of hand, I will have no other choice but to do so and you will be retrained.” Marrow said in a hard voice.

“It's alright Evan, just continue with your statement.” Macintosh’s attorney murmured with a hand on his shoulder.

He gave her an irritated look but nodded. “There was an agreement between me and Mr. Davis. All I had to do was kill Kirk, and frame it so that I would be absolved of any involvement. So I came up with a plan using my background in advanced biochemical engineering and created a clone of myself aboard the ship. The plan was to have my clone kill Kirk and then kill himself. I figured if I somehow killed “myself” off as well, I could start fresh without the bedding houses coming to collect certain debts owed. The clone was to take my place a month in advance so if there were any character changes no one would suddenly suspect anything on the day he would kill Kirk. Everything seemed fine when I first brought the clone to life until the damn thing fell in love with Kirk. My reputation on the ship was one of fearful respect so many gave him a clear path, but Mr. Kirk remained friendly towards him and the clone mistook that as genuine interest.”

Jim’s eyebrows rose in disbelief. All he had wanted to do was build a strong command team aboard the science vessel, and to have a good working relationship with his captain. That poor clone had no idea. It was innocent, like a newborn.

“The day the hit was supposed to happen the clone refused to do it. I blew a fuse in my office and tried to scare the clone into submission, but the clone stunned me with a phaser, knocking me out. He had tried to come up with a new plan behind my back that would save Kirk and essentially kill me to take my place. He had even gone as far as purchasing a home on Risa in my name. When I regained consciousness, I discovered my clone had evacuated the ship of its crew, wiped the computer's memory banks, and moved the vessel’s position to the Klingon border. He had rigged the ship with explosives that would replicate Klingon fire and was trying to convince Kirk to run away with him. By the time I got down to the escape pod area, he had knocked Kirk out and placed him in a pod that he was trying to board as well. We got into an altercation in the pod where I killed him with the pipe. Still thinking I could somehow frame my own death I dropped the pipe and dragged the clone's body from the pod so that when the ship exploded the body would be found. I planned on taking the pod with Kirk and killing him before he woke up, but the clone had put an automatic launch timer on the pod and so it launched before I got back in. Knowing the explosives were about to go off I took another escape pod and watched as the ship exploded from a safe distance.”

Jim blinked astounded. So that’s why he had been placed in the pod.

“Each escape pod has a way of communicating with other escape pods and so I tried to track down Kirk’s pod but it had just disappeared from radar. I turned off my pod's distress beacon and I contacted Mr. Davis for help. He claimed he had an idea and he would find a way to come help. We communicated back and forth for days, with him filling me in on everything that was happening, and the plan changed to sabotaging Kirk’s rescue attempt. Mr. Davis would beam me aboard the Enterprise and I would take care of the rest. By this point, I was almost convinced Kirk was somehow the luckiest bastard to exist and so if he miraculously managed to survive the rescue attempt I had a Plan B. I brought over a vial of Tritortyol which I extracted from my escape pods insulation coating, and sure enough, he made it and I was forced to use the poison.”

Macintosh actually glared at Jim as if all of his misfortune was his fault, and he supposed it was.

Frank's attorney once again interjected “Sir, may I remind you that there is no proof that definitively places my client down in the transporter room during Mr. Kirk’s rescue mission. I was with my client when they sent security to check on us. Anyone could have beamed Mr. Macintosh aboard.”

“Well he was there, otherwise how would I have beamed over?!” Macintosh snapped.

“As I stated, anyone could’ve beamed you over.” The attorney repeated impassively.

Marrow raised a hand to stop the argument.“Do you have any proof Mr. Macintosh of communication between you and Mr. Davis?” 

“No,” Macintosh replied bitterly. “When I was beamed aboard the Enterprise I gave Mr. Davis my communicator so that I couldn't be tracked aboard the ship. After I sent the subroutine to thwart the rescue mission I found a service hatch and hid among the Jefferies tubes. When I discovered he had survived his rescue, I found a way to poison his food, and yet you survived that as well didn’t you.” His last statement was directed at Jim.

His eyes full of hatred burned into his skin and all he could do was stare back at the madman who had once been a decorated captain. Spock leaned forward in his seat and Macintosh actually flinched, his demeanor once more turning cowardice. He was still afraid of Spock, and so he looked down, trying to appear a bit smaller.

“After he had been moved to the commander’s quarters, I waited for another opportunity for him to be alone. I heard the doctor scream something about fixing a broken panel as he was leaving the room one day and so I tried to impersonate an engineer to get in the room but was still denied access. Eventually, I went through the walls until I found the broken panel leading onto the commander’s quarters and attacked Kirk in his sleep hoping to finally do him in. And that’s when I found myself at the mercy of Mr. Spock who nearly strangled me to death.”

The room was quiet and Jim glanced around. Macintosh’s testimony was astounding, to say the least. He knew Frank had hated him, but to have someone try so hard to kill him was another thing. Macintosh was correct. He was a lucky bastard.

“Thank you for your testimony Mr. Macintosh you may be seated.”

Marrow made a few notes in his PADD and leaned over to Admiral Sue to whisper a question. She shook her head no and he made a few more notes.

Jim suddenly noticed his heart was racing and sweat was dripping down his neck into the collar of his shirt. He managed to keep his face completely blank but he could feel an anxiety attack building in his chest.

“I would like to move on to the testimony of Frank Davis. Mr. Davis if you could please stand and give your testimony.”

Jim clenched his teeth and watched as Frank and his attorney stood.

“Well, there is not much to tell. About a month or two ago, I don't exactly remember the start date, I was notified that my stepson’s files had been accessed so I grew concerned. I learned that it was Mr. Macintosh who was looking into the files and so I reached out to see if I could help him with anything. He told me that he was Jimmy's Captain and that he was just curious about the firewalls on his file. When I refused to answer any of his questions we ended the call. Then about two weeks ago I was notified that the science vessel he was serving on had been destroyed. Saddened by this news I gathered an attorney so that his final arrangements could be made since he had so many accounts linked to his name. It was upon my attorney's advice that I file immediately to claim his life insurance policy as soon as possible to avoid any further problems that might arise with such a big account. You see if I don’t claim the money then it goes into a lockbox reserved for the other victims of Tarsus IV. Then in the middle of filing, I was notified that Jimmy might have survived the destruction of his ship and was delighted by the news. But once again my attorney warned me that it could be a trick from someone else trying to make me forfeit the payout, so I was forced to file for a proof of life to be verified by my attorney. He was to make the trip out to the Enterprise to see if the wild claim that he was alive and stuck in some sort of space hole was true. I of course wanted to come along. It had been years since I had seen him and despite our falling out when he was younger, but family is family. When I arrived at the ship, Mr. McCoy-”

“That’s _Doctor_ McCoy to you pal.” Bones suddenly barked out from down the table.

Jim slightly jumped at Bones’s outburst. His nerves from being near Frank were just about fried. He peeked at his friend’s face and noticed all of the veins that normal popped when he was upset were displayed on the surface of his reddened skin.

“Yes, of course, that’s when Dr. McCoy punched me in the transporter room and that’s when I believe I lost my re-router unit.”

Marrow frowned “Ah, yes I saw that in your provided statement. Dr. McCoy, why did you punch Mr. Davis?”

“Because in my professional opinion he is an ass hat who had it coming. He’s done nothing but made Jim’s life hell and I was pissed that he even was allowed to step a foot on the Enterprise.” Bones spat.

“I’m not sure what my stepson has told you, but there are two sides to every story. He was a troubled youth and I did my best to raise him.” Frank maintained innocently.

“Raise him!? You son of a-” Bones almost leaped from his seat but was quickly restrained by Admiral Sue and Spock who held his arms on each side of him.

Marrow raised his voice. “Dr. McCoy if you can not control yourself I will have you removed from these proceedings! I suggest you sit down or I will call the other doctor on record to present medical evidence. I’m sure Dr. Mites would be more than happy to attend this meeting.”

Bones huffed angrily as his eyes flicked back and forth between Marrow and Frank almost debating if it would be worth it to still jump over the table and punch the man’s lights out. Instead, he looked to Jim for direction, and Jim gave his friend a small shake of his head. No. It wasn’t worth it. 

Bones snapped his mouth shut coming to a decision and sat back down. 

“Now then, Mr. Davis, if you could continue with your testimony.” The Starfleet Admiral said turning his attention back to Frank.

Frank who hadn’t reacted to Bones outburst at all continued. “My attorney and I were taken to what I believe was the commander's quarters where they were in contact with Jimmy through a monitor. Unfortunately, they lost contact with him the moment we arrived. Since then we were heavily monitored on the ship and accompanied by security wherever we went. When they finally rescued Jimmy, Mr. Spock came to my cabin to kindly return my unit that had been found in the transporter room. He implied that my unit may have been involved with tampering and I explained to him I had simply dropped it. Everybody loses things from time to time. I thought everything was good and that I no longer needed to be on the Enterprise so I planned on going home. I had no clue Jimmy had been poisoned or that his former captain had tried to kill him in his sleep. I was making arrangements to leave when I was summoned to this meeting.”  
Marrow studied Frank and Jim hoped that he would find any type of fault with his statement.

“Very well thank you for your testament, Mr. Davis. You may be seated.”

Frank nodded and sat down quietly. His gray-blue eyes found Jim and despite his air of innocence, he gave a dirty smirk that only Jim could see.

Jim’s stomach dropped. There wasn’t enough evidence to incriminate Frank in anything. It was Macintosh's word against his, and there was no solid proof that there was any involvement on his part. He was going to get away with it. Like he always got away with everything.  
Suddenly he was struggling to breathe.

_“Jim.”_ He could feel Spock becoming concerned.

_“I-I’m fine-”_ he communicated back and felt himself getting more and more upset.

It was always this way. Always. Frank would forever get away with wronging him. And what was stopping him from trying again? Would he succeed the next time?

_“Jim, I am here. Do not be troubled.”_

He couldn’t stop his thoughts from spiraling. He looked around the room and it wasn’t making sense anymore, he briefly became aware that Bones was now giving a medical statement of some kind but he couldn’t focus on the words coming out of his mouth.  
He glanced up and Frank’s cruel eyes were still studying him. 

His heart now in his throat, and his stomach twisted painfully in knots his mind seemed to blur out of focus as and without warning he was suddenly 13 again driving down his farm’s old dirt road in a 1965 Chevy Corvette convertible.

His first experience driving the car had been terrifying but empowering. He had been free. Where was that freedom now? Where was the power that joy ride had given him? Now it felt like he was trapped in the car, his hands glued to the steering wheel and he was still heading directly towards the quarry, only this time he felt doomed. Where was his brother? Where was his mom? Where was anyone willing to protect him?

Spock turned towards him, his eyebrows expressing visual concern. He raised a hand to reach out and touch him but Jim flinched away.

No! No touching in public! That was a rule! His confused brain supplied. He couldn’t betray the one boundary Spock had set, otherwise, he would lose him too!

_“Jim, you are panicking, let me help you. Allow me to calm your mind.”_

Panic? He didn’t panic. He was a future captain. Captains didn’t panic. 

It was then, through his hazy thoughts that he realized he was about to fall to pieces, and Spock was still connected to him. He couldn’t do that to Spock! He loved Spock. His human emotions might become harmful to the Vulcan. He was a mess. What if he caused Spock to become emotionally compromised again?!  
Uncertain what to do, and not wanting to drag Spock down into the metaphorical quarry of his mind, he found himself abruptly imagining walls in his brain to cut Spock off from his mental instability and suddenly Spock’s presence was gone. Out of the corner of his eye, he actually saw Spock wince slightly as if in pain, but the expression was quickly gone and his face once again became a neutral mask. Despite that, Jim could see blatant hurt in his eyes.

His mind was now...cold...hollow…alone.

A part of him was missing.

He immediately regretted blocking Spock out, but what else could he do? Spock didn’t deserve to deal with his unresolved issues, and certainly not in front of a conference room full of people.

He numbly heard someone ask for a break. Uncertain if it was Spock or another person he turned his attention to the front. Marrow was agreeing to the break as long as the participants didn’t wander past the four other conference room suites.

Jim woodenly got up and steeled his spine as walked out of the room. He ended up wandering into the first room he saw wanting to be alone but he could feel two people wander in after him.

“I need a moment,” he said out loud not turning around.

“Jim…” He heard Bones start, but he just walked to a nearby port window looking out into space and didn’t answer.

“Perhaps Doctor, his energy is waning. Maybe you could find him a caffeinated beverage.” Spock said quietly.

There was a long pause before he heard Bones agree to hunt down some coffee.

After he left, Spock stood silent for a moment before stepping forward.

“I’m sorry Spock, I didn’t mean to block you as I did…” Jim said still looking out the window. “I was just… afraid. I bet you think that’s illogical…”

He didn’t know how to continue his sentence so he didn’t. 

“Jim, I would like you to recall our breakfast this morning.”

Confused at Spock's seemingly random statement he folded his arms and turned back to look at him. “What? What are you talking about?” He asked tiredly.

“Our breakfast. In particular mine. Why did you go out of your way to create something for me?”

Still confused Jim brought a hand to his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “What does this have to do with anything?”

“Answer my question.”

“I don’t know. Like I explained this morning, I just knew you would want it, and I knew I could give it to you, so I did.”

“Correct. So why will you not allow me to do the same for you?”

Jim raised a brow. “I’m not following you, Spock, you want to make me some food?”

“I want you to allow me to comfort you.”

Jim blinked in surprise and Spock stepped closer to him. 

“You shut your mind from me Jim thinking your emotions and desires would be a burden. You still continue to believe yourself to be an inconvenience to me. That your emotions will cause me harm. That is in fact, quite inaccurate. You exist as a part of me in a way that other Vulcans will never experience. If you need something and it is in my power to give it to you I will not hesitate to do so.”

Jim remembered how all he wanted to do was to reach out and take Spock’s hand in comfort, but he couldn’t do that. He became slightly irritated and he clenched his teeth. “So if I wanted to just reach out and touch you, ask for an ozh’esta in front of everybody, in front of the entire federation, in front of an army of _Klingons?!_ You’d just do it? You would just give that to me? Spock, I can feel that it makes you really uncomfortable. How can I ask you for that? Those are your boundaries and I would never force you to cross them. Even if I needed it.”

Spock stepped closer and Jim realized that they were almost nose to nose. He stared into Spock’s steadfast eyes, and despite the standoff, they were having, he melted a little.

“Indeed. You are not forcing me to cross the boundaries I have set, and for that, I am grateful. However, you are cutting off the other ways in which I can support you.” 

Spock leaned in and put their foreheads together. “When you cut me off,” He murmured slowly, “I could only watch you hurt, and I could do nothing to stop it.”

Automatically Jim brought his arms up and wrapped them around the Vulcan's waist, enjoying the feel of him so physically close. 

“Let me back in.” Spock requested in a murmur. “You do not have to be alone in this. Your emotions are precious and they will not harm me.”

Jim's stomach quivered and he slowly imagined taking the walls down in his mind's eye. He wasn’t sure how he knew how to do it, but he did. Spock's mind quickly rejoined his and both of them sighed at the feeling of being connected once more.

“Jim, You are not a burden, especially to those who are fighting so hard to rescue you. You are not a burden, even to me. But while you yourself are not a burden you carry burdens. You can trust me, Jim. I am here to help you. So please let me help.”

“What would I do without you Spock.” He breathed between them, closing his eyes.

Spock said nothing, and he didn’t need to. They stood there together, simply existing in each other's space and it was the most stable thing Jim had experienced in his life.

_“Meld with me? Show me our bond?”_ he projected towards Spock.

Without hesitation, Spock placed his fingers at Jim’s meld points and suddenly they were sucked into Spock's mind.

Their shared mental space was like coming home, and when Jim looked around he was greeted by a huge beacon of light shooting straight up from the ground into the never-ending sky that was Spock's mental plain.

“Whoa…” Jim gaped. He reached out wanting to touch it and the pillar of light made a tinkling noise of delight. The beautiful light strobed rhythmically, displaying swirling ribbons of navy blue stardust and gold. 

It was them. Together.

Jim swallowed and turned to look at Spock who had come to stand next to him. He too stared at the bond, though not in awe like Jim, but with adoration.

He looked back to the bond and let his outreaching hand touch the swirling colors. The bond thrummed with echoes and Jim heard ...music?

After concentrating for a bit Jim frowned. “Why does this song sound familiar?” He asked out loud.

“Because this is the melody I played for you on my lyre. I did not know it at the time, but it was the bond calling me to you.”

Jim’s eyes widened. “You mean back in the pod? That song...I- I felt it too! Almost as if it wanted to pull me somewhere, was it pulling me to you?” He smiled and then unexpectedly laughed surprising himself, which sent spinning sparks through the air.

“Is seeing our bond reassuring to you?” Spock asked curiously with the raise of a sharp brow.

“Yes. It’s incredible. The last time I saw it it was a little slip of a thing, and it wasn't even connected to the ground of your mind.”

“I am gratified to hear that.”

There was a soft knocking sound and Jim jumped. “What was that?”

“It seems Dr. McCoy has returned.”

Spock ended the meld, and he went to answer the door.

Bones was standing there with two cups of coffee. “Hey, Marrow wants everybody back to the meeting.”

Spock turned to Jim and he nodded taking a deep breath. “Okay, let’s get this over with.”

The three of them began to walk back to the conference room silently. He loathed to think of what would happen next but Spock was right, he had the support he just needed to accept it. 

As the conference room door slid closed, a blur of red uniform and long black hair shoved their way through the opening.

“Wait!” 

Everyone in the room turned to see Lieutenant Uhura standing there, seemingly out of breath as if she had run all the way there.

“I have some further evidence to submit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some have you have been asking me to fix some grammar and spelling mistakes, and I'm touched you readers care enough to stick around and read my stuff even if it not perfect. Unfortunately, I don't have a beta reader, so I'm just editing the stuff myself. Comments always mean the world to me, even if I can't respond to everyone right away. But know my dopamine levels sky rocket with every single one.


	21. Chapter 21

Spock was surprised to see the appearance of Lieutenant Uhura.

Their meeting and its location, as far as he understood it, was supposed to be discreet, and yet the Communications officer stood in front of them with her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath.

His eyes flicked back through the sliding doors just as they closed and spied two security officers laying on the ground unconscious. She must have disposed of them with an extremely quick method, such as a Vulcan nerve pinch, something he knew she excelled at because he had taught it to her.

But what was she doing here now? 

Spock subjected her to his scrutiny, noticing that she was slightly disheveled in appearance. Her normally prim and proper hair was loose in its bonds and her red uniform was wrinkled and bunched up at the edges boasting of continuous wear. The sharp black makeup that she normally framed her eyes with was flaking away, smearing slightly and accentuating the deeper circles above her cheekbones. 

Despite the fact that she appeared to be clearly exhausted, her stance was straight and she endeavored to carry an air of professionalism as she stood before the room.

Her announcement of further evidence had stunned the room into silence and it wasn’t until Fleet Admiral Marrow stepped forward, did the rest of those who were in attendance begin to voice their concerns, over one another.

“Further evidence? What further evidence?”

“If it’s medical I would like to take a look at it first-“

“My client and I object to the summiting of new evidence! Call for another recess so that I may review the-”

Voices clamored over one another and Spock realized just how full the room was. There were 12 people, including him, taking up the long conference room space. It had not appeared this full when they had all been seated at the table during the first half of their meeting, but now since no one had taken their seats yet, the entryway was crowded.

Pike, Marrow, and Sue had circled Lieutenant Uhura while Jim, McCoy, and himself stood closest to the doors. Macintosh and Frank Davis along with their attorneys however stood the furthest away from everybody, their eyes riveted on the newcomer and what she might mean for their individual situations. Mr. Cogley was in how his own corner seeming to be furiously taking notes on a yellow legal pad of paper.

While the room continued to argue, Jim inched closer to Uhura with subtle movement so as to not draw attention to himself.

“Uhura? What are you doing here? Are you from the Enterprise? ” He heard Jim whisper out of the corner of his mouth. “You look-"

_“Shut up.”_ Uhura hissed back at him under her breath. “The only reason I even look like this is to save your ass. So just be grateful I’m even here right now.”

Jim’s eyebrows rose to his hairline and his mouth snapped shut. He stepped back and looked to Spock for some help, but he was just as uninformed as Jim.

Admiral Marrow waved his hand silencing the room. “You are?”

The question was directed at Uhura. 

“My name is Lieutenant Uhura, head communications officer for the USS Enterprise.” She answered, straightening her posture in a professional manner.

“And you claim to have further evidence to submit pertaining to this case?” The room was now void of any noise as Marrow asked this question.

Correcting her already flawless posture she stepped further into the room. “Here,” she said with an outstretched arm handing a small chip off. 

“What is it?” The Fleet Admiral asked, looking down at the chip with a frown.

“It is recovered footage that was deleted from the computer banks of the Enterprise.” Uhura declared confidently.

“That’s impossible, once data is purged from the computer banks, it is gone for good.” Marrow argued. 

“Improbable maybe, but not impossible. Not if there’s a back up in place. When it was discovered by commander Spock that Mr. Kirk's signal would drop due to the high influx of particle radiation surrounding the mysterious hole, I took it upon myself to install a virtual backup net that would try to pinpoint and record the last signal transmitted. That way if the signal dropped we could try and pinpoint it again.”

Dawning fell over Spock as he remembered making that call up to the bridge when he had suspected the high influx of particle radiation to be messing with Jim’s signal. At the time Uhura had claimed she had wanted to try something, but Spock had never followed up because they made contact very soon afterward.

“When we achieved visual contact with the escape pod I did the same thing to the camera signal, hoping that the camera feed we were receiving from Kirk’s pod might help us pinpoint his location for rescue. It didn’t initially work in finding him, but the network I set up had still been connected to the Enterprise’s data banks when the footage had been scrubbed. Any footage that was recorded or deleted was captured in the safety net” she pointed to the chip in the fleet Admiral's hand, “This is the 5 minutes and 35 seconds of security footage that was deleted from the transporter room. I had to manually piece the encryption codes back together, but it was not hard because I had the backups.”

Spock was impressed. Her disheveled appearance suddenly made sense. She may claim that piecing the footage back together was not hard but Spock knew the truth. She had achieved a monumental task and Spock was suddenly immeasurably grateful at the Lieutenant’s ingenuity and forward-thinking.

“How did you know the footage was even missing? Or what to look for?” Captain Pike spoke up, curious.

“I'm the _Communications_ officer Sir. I practically know everything that goes on in the ship.”

When Pike just stared at her with slightly disbelieving eyebrows raised, she rolled her own eyes in return. “Fine. Spock scares the hell out of Ensign Lucas. He was the one on duty when Spock came to the transporter room to investigate the uploaded subroutine that almost killed Kirk. Lucas was a mess in the dining hall afterward wondering if the missing footage would get him terminated. So I decided to take a look for the footage myself.”

“Perhaps we should watch the footage.” Admiral Sue announced stepping forward with the PADD Marrow had been using to conduct the meeting. She handed it off and he began to insert the chip. 

Frank Davis's attorney immediately objected “This communications officer is friends with Mr. Kirk! He whispered to her when she came into the room. How do we know this footage isn’t doctored?”

Uhura’s nose wrinkled slightly at the accusation. “I would hardly call us friends, but that’s beside the point. My work should speak for itself, as my record is pristine and should be treated as such considering I’m at the top of my field.”

Spock watched the attorney pinch his lips. “Still, the time for submitted evidence should be over! Otherwise, I would like to call for a mistrial!” 

Marrow stopped his actions and looked up. The attorney was correct, he had every right to call for a mistrial if the Fleet Admiral chose to move forward and review the evidence that had not been submitted before the meeting. This however was not a typical courtroom and it would be up to Marrow to make the decision.

Rubbing his chin in thought the Fleet Admiral slowly gazed around the room. “Was the interaction between the communications officer and commander Spock concerning the signal dropping of Mr.Kirk's escape pod recorded in any of the statements provided? That way it's technically within the realm of submitted evidence, especially if it's stated that she was allowed to do whatever it takes to trace down the signal.” 

“A technicality!” Cried Frank's attorney.

“Wars are won on technicalities.” Marrow said unconcerned. “Either this new evidence will be in your client’s favor or it won’t.”

Spock calmly spoke up. “You should be able to find such documentation in my own written statement, along with data entry charts of her documenting and recording the particle radiation influx. I had her send all of her findings to my personal PADD, which I turned in for evidence. You will see the account recorded next to where I was informed Starfleet would be sending out the engineer Mr. Montgomery Scott to try and locate the escape pods.”

Marrow, peered down at his PADD opening up what Spock presumed to be the file containing his written statement. 

While he read through Spock’s statement for a few tense minutes, Spock heard a little chirp come from Mr. Cogley’s pockets. The man took out a very old communicator and briefly read a message displayed on the screen. He then turned to Spock with a quiet smile and gave him a thumbs up. “You’re all set.” He mouthed silently, so as not to distract the Fleet Admiral from his reading. 

This information pleased him.

After a bit Marrow looked up. “May Vulcan wonders never cease. It’s in here. And that's good enough for me.”

He hit play and the large monitor at the front of the room flicked on, displaying the transporter room on the Enterprise. 

There was no sound, and the picture quality was slightly grainy, but everything could be seen just fine. Ensign Lucas milled about his station monitoring the controls when he stopped like he heard something. Leaning over to the receiver microphone on the panel he began talking into it. That must have been the call he had received from Mr. Scott telling him to modify the particle chambers for Jim’s rescue. The Ensign nodded to himself and left the room. As soon as he did, Frank Davis appeared from around the corner as if he had been waiting for the perfect opportunity. He quickly set to work beaming over Evan Mactionsh who looked shaken and disheveled as he appeared on the platform. They clearly argued back-and-forth for a moment before Mactionsh went to the control panel and Frank Davis made his way over to the panel on the wall, subsonic re-router unit in his hand. As he set about deleting the information of beaming records, Mactionsh could be seen sending the corruption signal before departing down an empty corridor and slipping into a Jefferies tube. Frank Davis however was left, still fumbling with the control panel on the wall. His head whipped back around as if he heard someone coming and he rushed to close the panel door.  
He shoved his subsonic re-router unit into his pocket and jogged away, but in his hurried movements, the unit slipped from his pockets. He made it back around the corner before Ensign Lucas reappeared with Ensign Keesner following close behind. The Rolyan paused to pick up the device, turning it over in his hands before pocketing it. Then the clip cut off. 

“Well, Gentlemen? Anything to say?” Marrow asked, turning back with his hands stretched open as if he would welcome anything they might try and explain.

Spock studied Frank Davis’s face intently. What would he do now that they had proof he was the one who beamed over Mactionsh to kill Jim?

Frank shared a look with his attorney who was frowning deeply at his client, but neither of them said a word.

“Nothing? Well, now then, if that’s the case I can move forward with sentencing because it’s quite clear to me that you’ve been caught red-handed. Mr. Macintosh lets start with you. For murder in the first degree, attempted murder, and endangering the life of your crew, I believe the colony Redlexdon would be good for you to serve out your sentence. The colony offers inmates various rehabilitation and work programs including education, mental illness, and rehabilitation treatment centers. You’ll serve two life sentences and be eligible for parole in 25 years. I’m sorry to see you come to this Evan, you were a good captain, but killing, even your own clone is still murder.”

Spock watched as Evan Mactionsh sank further back towards the wall, bumping into his small attorney as he did so. His face had lost its color completely, so pale that it reflected the green hue of the room, but Spock could admire the way he kept his face completely void of emotion. He nodded and said nothing.

“As for Mr. Davis. For attempted murder, insurance fraud, and endangering the life of Starfleet officer and I believe the colony on Akar-Inzu is in need of inmates who know mechanics. You’ll serve one life sentence and be eligible for parole in 25 years.”

Frank Davis and his attorney went very still. 

_“Akar-Inzu?_ That planet is situated five sectors away from the nearest starbase! There are only a few inmates in that colony due to the isolation problems causing mental breakdowns. Surely my client doesn’t deserve such severe punishment.” 

The fleet admiral raised his eyebrows in fake sympathy. “The stories about that colony have been grossly over-exaggerated. It is a good colony and has several work programs including a few of the treatment centers offered on Redlexdon. They are in need of mechanics to help with the maintenance of their facilities. Sentencing Mr. Davis to this facility I believe is not only a necessity but a great use of his mechanic talent.”

“But why so far away? Surely there are other facilities available.”

“Not for Mr. Davids. He will be sent far away not only to protect Mr. Kirk who is an exemplary Starfleet officer, but also a victim of the Taurus IV massacre.”

“So, just out of sight, out of mind? Is that it?” The attorney ground out.

Marrow appeared to shrug. “Essentially yes. I’m sorry if you don’t agree, but that is my sentencing. You and your clients will be signing a gag order once you leave this room. Break that gag order and you will share your client’s sentences. That goes for everybody here including me. This meeting never happened as far as the public is concerned and Mr.Kirk is still a protected survivor of the Taurus nine ”

The Fleet Admiral turned to Admiral Sue, “Please call a security team up here for the removal process, I saw that the two guards outside have been knocked unconscious.” He directed a pointed glance at Lieutenant Uhura but she ignored it.

Admiral Sue nodded calling for security, and then directed Macintosh and Frank to be backed up against the wall to wait for their escorts. Frank, whos face had remanded serenely clam during his sentencing came three feet closer to Jim than Spock was comfortable with and so he moved closer to Jim’s side. He did not trust Frank Davis near his mate, even if he appeared indifferent to what was happening around him. 

“As for you Mr. Kirk, perhaps you, me, and Mr.Cogley should sit down and have a meeting to discuss your life insurance inheritance and the trusts set up in your name so that others will not be tempted to come for your life again.”

Mr. Cogely stepped forward, “Oh I don't think that will be necessary Mr. Marrow, Mr. Kirk's husband has already taken care of that. I just got confirmation from Vulcan a few minutes ago.”

All eyes swung to Spock, then to Jim.

The room was silent for exactly 3.4 seconds before Spock counted ten cries of _“What?!”_ simultaneously echoing through the room.

Nobody really seemed to notice the change taking place on Frank Davis‘s face, as all attention was on Mr. Cogley who looked a bit surprised at the collective reaction. But Spock noticed. He inched closer to Jim causing their shoulders to barley touch.

“Why yes, was the information of their union not well known? I guess it makes sense why I was asked to rush the applications.” Mr. Cogely commented mostly to himself as he patted his chest, appearing nervous that he might have just revealed something he wasn’t supposed to. “The accounts have been moved to his husband's clan estate. Mr. Spock is now the primary beneficiary and Mr. Davis has been removed from the accounts completely.”

Frank Davis‘s soft façade had melted away to reveal molten hot hatred in his eyes. Eyes directed at Jim. It was curious to see him behave this way. His sentencing to Akar-Inzu had him emotionless, yet now that he knew he was no longer the primary beneficiary to Jim’s multitude of trusts and insurance policies, he was less careful about hiding his true colors.

Faster than Spock thought possible, Frank lunged towards Jim, hands outstretched for his neck. If Spock had not been standing so close he would have never reached Jim in time to block the attack, but with a calm swiftness, he caught Franks writs and twisted him back, the momentum sending the weak human to the floor. The man cried out in pain as he clutched his wrist to his chest and Spock supposed the move might have broken something. Three phasers, belonging to Pike, Marrow, and Sue were suddenly trained on him but he did little to get up.

The sound of the doors swishing open behind them revealed a new security team and they filed in to collect Macintosh and Frank. The latter now quietly sobbing into the floor with several choice words slipping out here and there.

Spock calmly, stood to the aside for the security officers to get through to their charges.

“Perhaps it is time to take our leave.” He commented to Jim.

Jim’s face was slightly pale, his widened blue eyes following the two men, who had tried to take his life from the room along with their attorneys and security officers. He still appeared to be struggling to process what had just happened.

He looked almost fragile and Spock did not like that.

Jim was a strong and brave man, but he supposed that he had not really thought his stepfather would still try and attack him with so many people present. Spock wanted to take his t’hy’la somewhere safe. Somewhere Jim would not have to worry about his stepfather or this meeting anymore.

“Wait,” Pike said, holding a hand up to stop him. “There are a few things that still need to be discussed. Like I don’t know, how are you two _married?_ ”

Despite the removal of Macintosh, Frank, and their attorneys; Captain Pike, Marrow, and Sue along with Dr. McCoy faced them in a semi-circle. Uhura, Mr. Cogley looking on as if somehow both curious and Entertained. 

Dr. McCoy Had his arms tucked tightly across his chest. “Yeah, I’d like to hear that too.”

“We are technically not married in the human sense, but rather, the Vulcan equivalent of such. We are bonded. Jim now belongs to my clan as my husband and mate.”

Dr. McCoy awkwardly sidestepped forward, his back turned to Spock as he crowded Jim. In a low voice, he probably thought Spock could not hear he whispered “Did the Vulcan just refer to you as his mate? His mate Jim! Who uses terminology like that! Please tell me this is a joke or at least a clever way to remove Frank as the beneficiary on your accounts. Jim, you promised you would go slow with him, what the hell happened to that?”

Spock continued as if the Doctor had not spoken, “Jim and I are mated, and he now shares dual citizenship with Vulcan like my mother, who as most of you are aware is human. When I was released from med bay to prepare for this meeting I contacted my father, who is the Vulcan ambassador to the United Federation of Planets, first. I informed him of my bonding status and then urged him to file for the immediate transfer of Jim’s trust to our estate. Being of a high power both on and off Vulcan he was able to accomplish the need very quickly after final approval from our clan matriarch T’pau. We have several in house retainers for our clan’s trusts, and so Jim’s policies will be hidden to almost obscurity until there ever comes a time I must collect it. No one will ever know again just how large his inheritance and life insurance payout will be. I have made sure of this.” 

Spock could feel that Jim was touched and a soft mental caress was sent his way.

Captain Pike was the first to give a response to his announcement. He burst out laughing, grabbing his stomach and throwing his head back while his whole body shook. “Jim I swear you born the luckiest son of a bitch in the galaxy.”

Jim gave a warm smile, but it was directed at Spock. “Yes. Yes, I am.”

“Sir what about the hole in space?” Admiral Sue asked. “We can’t ignore its discovery.”

“The hole in space is quite a unique find. However, due to its relation to this case, we will have to hide the fact that it was discovered in this way and send another science vessel to “discover” it soon.” Marrow rubbed his hands together in a quick fashion. “Right well, I think that’s everything. It has been an honor but I am greatly needed back at Starfleet headquarters. Please sign your gag orders in a timely manner. This meeting is adjourned. Admiral Sue, please escort me to my transport. ” 

The stiff admiral nodded and followed Marrow out of the room.

“I best be going as well, I have another case to prepare for,” Mr. Cogely said. “Please do call me if you are ever in need of representation again.” He gave Jim a pat on the shoulder and shook Pike’s hand as he left. 

“I guess that’s it,” Pike commented heading towards the door. I don’t know about you guys but I’m starving.”

“Your nurse Chaple said that this Starbase has a grill house and bar, do you want to try and hunt it down? I definitely need a drink,” McCoy announced a bit wearily. He gave Jim and Spock one final look before turning away to follow Pike out of the room, his hands shoved in his pockets.

Pike laughed in good nature “If you prescribe it, Doctor, I’m sure we can find it.” 

Then there were three.

Spock and Jim watched Uhura upturn her nose and quickly walk towards the doors as well, appearing to have nothing to say to either of them.

“Uhura wait!” Jim cried catching her shoulder as she tried to pass.

“What?” She turned to him irritated, folding her arms across her chest and leaning on a hip.

“Thank you.”

She rolled her eyes and began to turn away.

Jim stopped her again. “Why did you help me? I know you don’t like me very much. I want to hear your real reasoning. It couldn’t have been to further your career or to show off. You’re not like that.”

She narrowed her eyes, “Who says I’m not like that? My career could run circles around yours.” She snipped, but slight embarrassment did cross her face. “Let’s just say this is an apology for the... bar, you know, from before. I never thought my friends would have started a fight like that. And no matter how arrogant I think you can be, you are at least worthy of some justice.”

“Arrogant?” Jim smiled. “You think I’m arrogant?”

“Aren’t you?” She raised a thin brow.

Jim shrugged, smiling, “Did I not earn the right to be?”

Her lips dipped into a disapproving frown that seemed to be fighting the urge to smile back at him. “I guess we’ll see, won’t we. Now if you don’t mind, I haven’t slept in almost 72hours.”

She turned on her heel leaving Jim laughing next to Spock.

———————————————

Spock's eyes slowly peeled open to the dimly lit room.

“You are restless,'' he commented, breaking the peaceful atmosphere.

Jim, who had been kneeling on a meditation mat next to him, jumped. “I’m not that restless, maybe compared to a master meditator like you I am, but I’ve been completely still.” He responded defensively.

Spock just stared at him.

“Okay yeah, I will admit that meditation may not be my thing.” Jim chuckled softly.

“Yes. Your mind seems to be even busier, despite the quiet seclusion of our guest quarters on the Starbase.”

Jim leaned back on his hands, revealing a strip of exposed golden skin between the black tank top he wore and his loose gray sweatpants. “It is quieter, isn't it? You can always hear the engines humming on Star Ships.”

Spock watched as Jim looked around their shared guest quarters. It was a modest room with high ceilings. The walls boasted of white and blue, a standard color all for Star Bases, and contained little to no decorations on the walls. There was a large bed in the center that took up most of the available space and Jim had thrown himself into the covers when he had first spotted it. Their room in particular was used for couples during their stay at the base and were respectable accommodations until the USS Enterprise was ready for leave. Star Fleet would be sending out another ship to pick up the damaged parts and pods they had collected from Jim’s ordeal and take them back to earth. In the meantime, they would be staying here for a few days. Spock’s cabin was still in need of repair and so he thought a room on the starbase would be more acceptable for him and Jim.

“May I ask, what is causing you such turmoil? Do you have lingering concerns about Admiral Marrow's decision involving your stepfather and Evan Macintosh?”

Jim threw his head back and laughed. “No. To be honest they haven’t really passed my mind since the sentencing. You go through enough stuff in life, you learn to try and move on as quickly as possible. At least for me, that’s been the case. Until all of this happened I suppose, it dredged up a lot of emotional stuff for me.” 

Spock nodded, “It is wise not to dwell on which that has already happened.”

“Well, there has been one thing I’ve been dwelling on…”

Spock blinked expectantly waiting for him to continue.

“I um...feel kind of bad about our first time together,” Jim admitted sheepishly. “Our bonding was amazing and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” He added quickly, “but it felt unfair to you.”

Spock raised an eyebrow surprised. “Your logic of that night confuses me. I wanted to bond with you, you accepted and we mated.”

“Yes but was it too fast for you? You said it yourself during, that you didn’t know how it was “normally done”, and I was so caught up in my own stuff I feel like we ended up neglecting your needs.”

“Neglected?” Spock asked, slightly incredulous. “There was no negligence.”

“Wasn’t there? At least unintentionally?” Jim’s blue eyes found Spock’s and he could see the worry in them. 

Spock thought about this, and tried to understand is t'hy'la’s viewpoint. 

“Jim you seem to forget that I was also...desperate for our coupling. I do not agree that I was somehow neglected in any way. We are t’hy’ la. What pleases you, pleases me. Yes, it is true that I had no firsthand experience of our particular mating practice beforehand but it was not hard to figure out. ”

Jim hummed in thought, and Spock waited for Jim to come to some sort of conclusion.

“You know,” he said suddenly sitting up and flipping himself over so that he was directly in front of Spock, “most people after they get married take a honeymoon. This could be ours.” He suggested his smile turning playful. _“We could perfect our particular mating practice.”_

“I am aware of the human practice known as the honeymoon, however, it seems most humans wish to go somewhere they deem new and exotic. At least that has been my observation of humans in the past. This Starbase hardly qualifies.”

Jim leaned in and brushed his nose across his cheek. “True,” he breathed “but honestly most people just have sex the entire time. We could start right now. Practice, after all, makes perfect.”

Spock felt the hairs raise along his arms, hyper-aware of Jim’s suggestion.

“And this is what you wish to do? Practice?” He asked, keeping his tone level.

Jim kissed him then, running his tongue along his lips before pulling back. “Yes. No time like the present. This way I’ll at least get to make up for your first time being so rushed. I can give you what you need. Focus on you.”

“I have no objection. Your reasoning for practice is sound, however, I still would disagree that I was neglected in any way.”

Jim flashed him a perfect smile as he leaned back in to lick and suck his way up underneath Spock’s chin. “Watch me change your mind.”

Spock's eyes slid closed so that he could further focus on Jim’s soft lips trailing against his skin. He could not blame Jim for wanting to participate in physical activities. He too craved Jim's touch, even more than before, it seemed.

Mating and bonding with Jim had awoken a new side to himself that he had been unaware of. 

His need for physicality. 

He wanted to follow his Vulcan heritage as much as possible, but the desire to reach out and touch Jim, even in front of others, was difficult to resist at times.

Jim was a very physical person and Spock knew the boundary he had set for physical affection in public was hard on him. It was hard on them both, but he was grateful that Jim respected his desire to abstain from touching in front of others. 

Still, it had hurt when Jim had torn himself away from their connection in the meeting room. He could not blame Jim for this, however. He had not known if his excess emotions could harm a Vulcan, and Spock wished they had been given more time to discuss these things. They were still so new to each other, new to the bond. Yet Spock felt as if their katras had known each other since before the stars formed. It was an odd feeling to not know the trivial things about your partner and yet still somehow know them to their very core. He supposed that if he broke it down into its simplest components they were both new and old. A fascinating contradiction.

As for the physicality in front of others, Spock recognized that they would have to work on that aspect of their partnership. It would take time for him to adjust, but he was willing to do so if only for the sake of Jim. He was already considered an oddity among his people, what was one more odd trait for them to turn their nose at?

Despite all of this, they were alone now, and Spock had no qualms about giving into Jim’s craving for physicality. He himself was struggling to resist latching onto Jim’s offered touch and pulling him forward to press flush against him. 

Jim’s hands were everywhere, stroking up and down the folds of his meditation robes, seeking entrance to his bare chest underneath. He kissed Spock's skin slowly, intentionally avoiding his lips, opting to use his teeth to scrape up his jawline and tug at his sensitive earlobe. 

Spock huffed hot air through his nose as he clenched his teeth together, narrowly avoiding a moan that wanted to slip from the back of his throat. The sensation of Jim’s wet mouth playing along the shell of his ear caused heat to unfurl mercilessly in his stomach. 

Jim bit his ear again and Spock ducked his head forward breaking away from the overstimulation. This time he was unable to stop a breathy intake followed by a shuttering rattle low in his chest.

“It’s ok Spock, you can moan. My eventual goal is to get you screaming my name.”

Spock gave Jim an almost scandalized look but said nothing in return. Deep down he knew Jim would not have to work very hard to achieve that particular goal. He was already losing most of his control just from a few kisses and heavy petting, not to mention they were still on the ground. 

“Perhaps we should move these activities to the bed,” Spock commented trying to slow his uneven breathing.

Jim looked down to the floor they sat on and smiled. “Or I could lick you from head to toe on your mat.”

Spock's eyes narrowed slightly, “Jim, a Vulcan’s meditation mat is to be kept clean and treated with respect. It is almost sacred in nature.”

Jim gave what Spock believed to be a fake pout before tilting his head with a soft laugh. “Fine, we can move to the bed.”

He rolled off of Spock releasing him from his semi-pinned position and jumped up, offering Spock a hand to help him. Spock accepted with no hesitancy, enjoying the feel of their palms slotting together.

Spock headed towards the guest bed that had been provided for them and briefly wondered if he should stop and change out of his meditation robes so that he could put them away properly. 

He turned to ask Jim to give him a moment but his request died on his lips. 

Jim stood right behind him, stark naked having somehow removed every article of clothing from his body with the limited time it took Spock to walk from his mat to the bed. Humor and blatant lust danced in his eyes as he stepped forward to catch Spock up in another kiss that pushed them further towards the bed. Jim was quite eager and this pleased Spock.

“Lay back,” Jim whispered between fervent kisses, and Spock, whose knees had finally found the edge of the mattress did as he was directed.

Jim broke away and slid down Spock's frame, his impatient hands never leaving the loosening folds of Spock’s robes.

His tanned fingers slipped between the black fabric and Spock suddenly felt Jim’s warm grip on his abdomen just above his hip. 

The touch of Jim’s hand on him was enough for Spock’s stomach to do something strange, a flip, a turn? Whatever it was, it caused him to press his body forward further into the contact.

Jim lowered his head to kiss the juncture of his hip, causing his hot breath fan over his skin. He tugged Spock's robes completely open, pushing the fabric aside so he could gain full access to his stomach, then when he was finished with that task he peeled down Spock's thin trousers, taking them off so that he was now completely exposed to the cool air of the room. He should have been chilled but his attention was riveted on Jim who hovered slightly above him, half on and off the bed.

Jim slid himself further down Spock's now completely naked form, positioning himself directly between his legs, scraping his blunt nails across his pale thighs, as he did so. Spock shivered at the rippling effect that was sent through his nerves but remained silent watching his mate curiously. What exactly did Jim intend to do? 

Jim’s bright blue eyes suddenly flicked back up at him, edged in adoration, checking for some sort of objection before he continued. Spock wasn't quite sure what Jim was asking, but when no explanation came, Spock watched him part his lips and take him into his mouth.

Spock regrettably jumped in surprise at the new sensation and was certain he made an undignified noise. Perhaps a choking sound because Jim’s blue eyes danced with quiet laughter. 

Tight arousal coiled in his stomach, causing his muscles to shake, jump and tremble along his body. Spock forced back a groan as he watched Jim’s golden hair begin to bob rhythmically up and down between his thighs. Pleasure flared across the bond, and Spock realized Jim was thoroughly enjoying this himself as well.

Spock began to shallowly pant, his eyelids beginning to feel exponentially heavier and heavier. He desperately wanted to close them so that he could lose himself in the pleasure that was spreading throughout his body, but he fought to keep them open so that he could watch Jim.

He marveled at Jim's appearance, his complexion seeming to glow, while his hollowed cheeks and lips reddened themselves wrapped around him. His unhurried movements were mesmerizing, and Spock enjoyed seeing the stretch and pull of his neck muscles as he found new and fascinating angles for his administrations.

He wished to study Jim in this aspect indefinitely.

Soon Jim did something new with his tongue that had Spock's back arching as he cried out, this time unable to hinder his outburst. 

He fisted the sheets around him trying to regain some semblance of control, trying to resist thrusting up into Jim’s mouth, but Jim, who seemed to have other plans, sank his fingers deeper into the flesh of Spock’s hips and hummed in the back of his throat while his lips were still locked around the base of him. The sound and vibration traveled up his spine and into the back of his skull causing his thoughts to fog. Jim.

Spock closed his eyes and tipped his head back against the bed, hazily aware he would not last much longer, not with the way Jim was licking and sucking him in his current manner.

Jim paused in his actions briefly to reach up and untangle his tight fingers from the sheets and brought Spock's hand to the back of his neck, suggesting that he wanted to be held.

Spock silted his eyes open so that he could stare down at his own pale fingers running through Jim’s dampened hair, the soft strands tickling the pads of his palms. His t’hy’la was gorgeous.

The pleasure inside him began to crescendo as his muscles locked into place, and Jim, somehow taking note of this change swallowed him down further so that his nose was nestled against his stomach. With a cry, Spock came, his body curling forward as Jim mercilessly sucked him through it. White spots danced in his eyes and for a moment he glimpsed star-like formations flickering about in his peripherals. Their bond glowed happily between them, and he heard hints of soft muted music notes in the back of his mind. 

When Jim finally pulled off, they were both breathing hard. 

Jim dragged his wet lips across Spock’s knee giving it a comforting kiss, and Spock stared at him in awe. His whole body was relaxed and his muscles felt wrung out as if he had just completed a rigorous training exercise. He felt incredible. If this was a regular mating practice, he held no qualms in participating in such activities again. 

He stroked the side of Jim's face and Jim turned to kiss his palm with a murmured “I’m not even close to being done with you.” He smiled mischievously upward at Spock, his eyes crinkling in a charming manner. With one last kiss to his hand, Jim climbed his way up to rest atop Spock's lap and leaned forward to kiss Spock softly on the mouth. Spock easily melted into it, letting his hands rise up to clasp onto Jim’s sides as he kissed him back.

His limbs felt heavy, and he rested his eyes as Jim continued to administer kisses from his face down to his neck.

He was more relaxed than meditation had ever made him and he wondered if his emotional balance would be thrown off if he chose to mate with Jim regularly, rather than participate in meditating.

His thoughts were rudely interrupted however when Spock felt Jim’s hand applying something extremely wet to him. His eyes flew open and he almost sat up.

“It’s okay. It’s just lube.” Jim answered his unasked question.

Spock raised a brow. “Where may I ask, did you get that?” His voice sounded a bit rough, but that was to be expected due to his attempts at trying to preserve some semblance of restraint. 

Jim shrugged with an amused grin. “Honestly? I’ve been carrying it around since we bonded. I replicated a few tubes when you were asleep for two days. Don't tell Bones though because I used his ID code to do it since I wasn't registered in the med bay system and he was.”

Spock blinked at this. “You did not have that tube in your hands previously.”

“Oh I definitely did,” Jim said now coaxing Spock to become hard again, “I just hid it really well.” He moved his hands in a way that fed fuel to Spock's arousal.

Aching more and more with every touch, Spock's body began to re-tighten in anticipation, his back arching along with his hips as his nerves quaking under Jim’s continued attentions.

Spock’s hands clutched at Jim’s thighs which had him caged, his thoughts falling away as Jim leaned in to kiss his collarbone, one hand slipping between them so that he could slowly position himself in the right way.

Jim slowly lowered himself on him and the sensation sent him into a fuzzy state of consciousness where his thoughts blurred and all he could focus on was Jim, who began to rise and fall above him like the thrumming beat of a yellow star, shining gloriously and giving off heat. 

“Spock,” Jim said like a sigh lifting his head to the ceiling closing his eyes, while he too lost himself in the rhythm.

Jim was soft and warm, his body more than welcoming and Spock could not help but thrust experimentally, causing Jim to let out a guttering groan.

Desire curled through him, hot and needy, and he could feel the bond between them glimmer and spark, almost reinforcing itself. 

He wanted to hear Jim groan again and so Spock rolled his hips on a downward thrust and Jim made a noise in his throat that captivated him.

“Spock,” Jim said, more insistent and Jim sped up his movements, increasing his mounting need for release. Watching Jim like this was something new. He had seen Jim scared, angry, joyful, and yet the expression he wore now was captivating.

Jim’s cheeks that held a bright red flush had spread down into his chest and his eyes had turned deepened dark blue with lust. His chest was heaving with beads of perspiration, his tanned skin rippling like the evershifting sand dunes on Vulcan. Spock could not help but feel a magnitude of emotions building within him. He had thought his sexual desire would dim with the completion of the bond, but now as he watched Jim rock on top of him he realized that this need to be with his bondmate in every way would never fade. Jim had been concerned that he had somehow neglected Spock with their first time together and Spock had not understood his reasoning. 

He still did not now. 

Jim was a gift, his mind brilliant in ways many would never see. He supposed Jim was one of those people who struggled to see themselves clearly, always concerned with others. He would have to remind his T’hy’la that with him was not the case. Anything Jim gave, Spock would greedily take.

“ _Spock!_ ” Jim gasped his name again and his head fell forward making his neck appear more pronounced. Spock caught sight of the bite he had previously given Jim and felt a swell of possessiveness swirl within him at the sight. He had caused that spot and Jim had kept it when he could have easily used a dermal regenerator to heal it away as he had done with the other bruises and scratches he had received from his entanglement with Macintosh. He should feel guilty like he had before when he had discovered the bite after their first mating, but all he could feel was the desire to make an even bigger bite next to it.

He ran his hands up Jim’s hot silken skin and held tightly onto the dip of his hips. He involuntarily groaned loudly when he thought about the marks he wanted to leave behind. Jim was his, and marking him would be how to show others of that fact. 

Pumping in time with his thrusts, the two men moved together as one, each feeling the sweet tide rushing to overtake them.

“Jim,” he suddenly choked out, his thoughts both racing and blending together. He began to see flashes of gold and blue, with crystal-like rainbows of light moving about in his mind's eye. The bond was calling to him. To connect their minds.

Jim shuddered above him hearing his name, “Yes say my name, Spock.”

“ _Jim._ ” Spock moaned and he reached up to cup Jim’s jaw.

“Yes! A meld.” Jim panted as he slowed his movements so that he could nudge Spock's fingers into the correct position on his face. 

Spock's hand felt an almost eclectic pulse before falling forward into Jim's diverse mind.

Galaxies with their multi-colored stars twisted about in rhapsodies as echoes of his own name bounced in the shared mental space. 

_“Spock, Spock, Spock.”_

Some cried out in joy, others in complete ecstasy, but there was a third kind that pierced his Katra the most thoroughly. _“Spock, God I love you, Spock.”_ it was said with the most reverence and profound adoration he had ever heard from anywhere. It pushed his own emotions over the edge and suddenly his arousal crested once more.

And Spock saw white.

Flashes of overwhelming love rippled across the bond causing navy blue and gold colors to begin to burst like supernovas from behind his eyelids, and like cut pieces of fabric through time and space Spock could somehow glimpse what might have been other timelines, other universes, where Spocks and Jim’s always exist together, and it was beyond his full comprehension. 

He hoped that every moment they were together would be like this.

All too soon however his mind once again began to process his real surroundings.

Hot bodies, the pull of soft sheets beneath him, the cooling air drying his skin, and Jim’s hungry lips on his. 

“Damn.” Jim breathed into his mouth with a chuckle, clearly trying to catch his breath. He rested his forehead against Spock's damp bangs.

“Let's do that again.”

_________________________________________________________ **One Year Later** _____________________________________________

Spock concluded his speech and stepped down from the podium. 

The lights of the auditorium brightened and the small but polite chatter from the crowd could be heard fading from behind him as he made his way down the hall towards the exit. With the conference now over he would be able to peruse the science booths just outside the main complex at his leisure, something he had been wanting to do since arriving, but since this conference was specifically showcasing his paper on the Mletin Particles theory ZQ-cp he had been unable to do so.

He had of course wanted Jim to be the one to submit the paper since it had been him who had come up with the solution to prove his theory, but Jim had made other plans and so Spock let him be. However, someone needed to resubmit the paper to prove its findings and so he wrote up another draft containing the proper data and sent it off to be published by a number of scientific journals. Suddenly the science world that had brushed off his ZQ-cp theory as impossible, welcomed him back with readily open arms. 

He began to walk through the main entrance of the science center when three Vulcans approached him. Two of them were male of average height, clearly, older in age as indicated by the gray streaks in their hair, and the third who was a tall young female trailing behind them. They wore red and purple robes with golden and tan sashes draped across their chests, an indication that they were from the Vulcan High Council.

“Greetings,” Spock said inclining his head and held up his hand in a Ta'al as they got closer.

They returned his salute. “Might you be S'chn T'gai Spock?” asked one of the males.

“I am.”

“My name is Delvok and these are my colleagues, Kov and T’Lara. We are representatives of Vulcan High Council and wished to speak to you about your ZQ-cp theory.”

Spock wrapped his hands around his back and nodded. He had been waiting for something like this happen as is often the case when the Vulcan High Council is proven wrong. 

They had been the ones to pull his publication from circulation the first time he had published his paper on the theory, having deemed it impossible. Now, they had to face the fact that not only had the theory been proven true, it had also been proven in such a simple way that could say that it embarrassed their organization if Vulcans ever got embarrassed.

“Mr. Spock are you aware that your theory has been published in a novel fictional in nature?” Delvok pulled a blue book from his robes and handed it to Spock for inspection.

This was not the direction Spock thought this conversation would start with, but he was not surprised. He took the book but did not give it a second glance. He was well aware of what the cover looked like.

“May I inquire of what the problem is?” Spock asked raising a brow.

“This book is highly insulting to the scientific community. The main character, a female Orion by the name of Mina claims to have solved the theory first. She is not a scientist, nor is she of respectable breeding, but instead a freed slave with a Vulcan for an assistant. Are you not concerned that your theory is being spread about by a fictional character of lesser intelligence and that her Vulcan companion is the second party?”

Before Spock could respond, he suddenly heard Jim in his mind. _“Spock! I've got some great news! I can't wait- Oh, Sorry. I see that you're busy, I can go get us something to eat and meet you back here when you're done.”_

_“Actually you may want to attend me. They seem to be fans of your work.”_

He could hear Jim’s laugher echo in mind, _“Oh really? Mustn't keep my adoring public waiting then.”_

Jim suddenly appeared from the edge of the crowd and strode forward with all the confidence in the world. He flashed a brilliant smile in his direction and two unsuspecting women just off to the side bumped into each other at the sight, but Jim did not seem to notice. His eyes only saw Spock.

He quickly approached and wrapped his arm around Spock, giving him a drawn-out kiss to his cheek as a way of greeting. Spock closed his eyes enjoying the attentions but kept his face void of expression. 

They had come a long way in order to physically touch in front of others. At first, Spock had been adamant that they abstain from touching in public, as it was not the Vulcan way.

However, a few months into serving aboard the Enterprise together as Co-first officers, Jim’s landing party had been attacked by unknown natives on the planet they had previously believed to be uninhabited. He had saved two engineers by beaming them up first before contact had been cut and Jim had been lost to Spock for three days. 

Those three days had been lifetimes to Spock until they were able to locate his whereabouts again. When they had finally recovered him, Spock had been angry. He could not rationalize his turmoil of emotions. Jim had done the most logical thing in saving his crew first, but Spock struggled to understand Jim’s lack of self-preservation and Jim had returned his anger not understanding Spock's attitude. It had been their first real fight and it eventually resulted in a mating so aggressive that they broke most of their shared furnishings. A resolution that had Jim claiming it had been one of his favorite matings.

Since then Spock refused to go without the touch of his t’hy’la. Who knew when Jim’s touch would be his last. He would welcome Jim’s affections in front of anybody. Including the Vulcan High Council, and he would be indifferent to what they thought.

The council members in question had gone rigid at this display. Their faces remaining completely blank, however, Spock could almost detect a hint of not only disgust but also curiously in their eyes.

“Hi,” Jim said turning to unleash his most charming smile on them. “I’m Jim Kirk, Spock's t’hy’la and mate.” He raised his hand in the Ta’al.

If they gave no indication of surprise before, the slightest widening of all of their eyes did so now.

Jim loved using their title around other Vulcans, specifically to see their “micro reactions” as he called them, and Spock could not blame him. The news of their bond had shaken Vulcan to its core and many believed that it was completely a falsehood. Those closest to his clan however knew of the truth. In any case, Spock was once again a novelty on Vulcan, not only for being a hybrid but now a walking myth come to life.

“What are we all talking about?” Jim asked in a delighted manner.

“I believe your book has disturbed the Vulcan High Council,” Spock answered dryly, handing the bluebook off to Jim.

Jim laughed. “Yeah,” He said flipping it over in his hands, “I knew some people might not like it, but hey I’m a first-time author, I’m still learning.”

The Vulcan named Kov spoke up. “The author’s name is Jameson K though.”

“Jameson K is my husband's pen name,” Spock answered.

“Mr. Kirk, are you aware that your book is highly insulting to the scientific community,” Delvok commented his face returning to be stoic in nature.

Jim shrugged “I don’t see why it should be, the science is correct.”

“Yes, but your character, she makes the claim that she solved the theory,” Delvok said in an almost condescending way as if speaking to someone slow. 

Jim was no fool he knew exactly how he was being addressed, but instead of getting defensive he just smiled and responded with, “But I solved the theory, and since Mina is sort of an extension of me in a way, I see no problem with her solving the theory too.”

“That is a bold claim, especially one to make in front of your husband, the one credited for the solve.”

Spock verbally stepped in. “Actually Jim did indeed prove my theory first, he is properly credited in my summited paper. Therefore I have no issue with his fictional character doing the same.”

Delvok looked to Kov and then to the female name T’Lara. They seemed to share an unspoken confirmation and then Delvok turned back to them. “I see. Well, I just wanted to bring this matter to your attention, but you seem to be well aware of it.” Delvok and Kov raised their hands in the Ta’al. “Live long and prosper,” they said turning in an abrupt manner and Spock watched them go. 

The tall female however remained behind staring at Jim. 

“So you are the author. Do you plan on writing more works?” She asked.

Jim seemed a bit surprised at her question. “Um not really. This project had a weird beginning and I'm not much of a writer, per se.”

“I would disagree with that statement. I found your words refreshing and your world-building quite unique. I do not often indulge in writings such as yours. I only did so as a way to understand my colleagues' upset, but I would be interested in reading more about your female Vulcan character. She is fascinating.”

Jim smiled at the compliment. “Really? It was going to be a series, but I, unfortunately, got caught up in other duties. I often wrote it in my spare time.”

“Indeed? How interesting. If you do make a sequel I would very much enjoy that.”

She paused.

“Are you two really T’hy’la?”

“I don’t think Spock would let me kiss him in public if we weren’t,” Jim answered with a laugh.

T’Lara glanced at Spock “Indeed.” She murmured more to herself than them. 

She studied both of them for a few moments before straightening. “Thank you for your time S'chn T'gai Spock and Jim Kirk. I hope we may have more encounters in the future. If you'll excuse me.” The tall female raised her hand “Peace and long life.” She said and then turned to follow the direction that the other Vulcans had taken.

“Wow. Well, that was new. I’ve never gotten a compliment from any other Vulcan besides you,” Jim said, turning to smile at Spock.

“That is untrue. My father has complimented you in the past. He said he was impressed by your accomplishments.” Spock stated.

“Ha! The only reason for that I suspect is that your mother told him to say that so dinner didn’t sound so quiet.”

Spock had never considered that, but it could be possible.

“Let’s go grab something to eat in the cafeteria on the top floor. Bones is gonna meet us there.”

Spock nodded and they headed toward the turbo lift in the center of the building. 

“So tell me,” Spock inquired as they walked, “how was your meeting with the head of Starfleet?”

“Whelp It’s official I’m a captain now, and that's not even the best part! They’re giving me the Enterprise! Wanna have sex in the captain’s chair?” Jim wiggled his eyebrows and Spock raised one of his. 

“So then I presume Pike is being promoted to Admiral?” He commented ignoring Jim’s suggestion.

“Yes, and as he said they might be sending our ship to explore deep space. Can you believe it, Spock! A five-year mission isn’t that incredible?” Jim pumped his fists in excitement as they entered the lift.

“You’ll have to help me pick the crew out, just as soon as you accept to be my first officer.”

Spock stood calmly next to Jim as he bounced on his heels. “Of course Jim. It would be an honor.”

“Great!” Jim exclaimed. “Now let’s see, I definitely want that engineer Scotty, and that Roylan, and keep on Uhura as head communications officer. I think she's really warmed up to me. Sulu’s a great helmsman but I need someone else...you know I heard that an amazing recent graduate here named Checkov. He is supposed to be displaying his theory on St’lattics mathematics and their relation to flight path patterns of warp drive downstairs somewhere in a science booth. Do you want to go check him out after lunch with me?”

“Indeed. That does sound fascinating.”

The turbo lift ride had been very short, but Spock supposed that was a good thing. Jim’s energy needed space to be expended.

The doors swished open and he bounded out like he had broken free, Spock calming trailing after him. The cafeteria was full of people milling about, but Jim immediately spotted Dr. McCoy.

He was sitting at a far end table next to a large window that overlooked the San Fransisco bay.

They walked over and it was apparent they were expected because there where food trays waiting for them.

“There you guys are! Jim said you’d get here 15 minutes ago.”

“We ran into some fans of the book,” Jim commented, taking a seat next to his friend eager to eat.

“How’d they know it was you?” McCoy asked, pushing a napkin with a fork and knife towards both Jim and Spock.

“They actually approached me first,'' Spock said, lifting the lid to his meal. “They were concerned Vulcan High Council members.”

“No!” The doctor exclaimed, his mouth falling open. “What did they say?”

“They wanted to inform Spock that my book was an insult to the scientific community.” Jim snickered as he lifted the lid to his own meal.

McCoy rolled his eyes and snorted. “I don’t see why they should be concerned. It's scientifically accurate and I personally thought it was a pretty good read. Did you tell them how many copies you’ve sold?”

“Nah, I don’t think that would’ve mattered,” Jim said stabbing into a fried chicken steak.

“Have you decided what you’re gonna do with all the credits you make from the sales?” McCoy asked picking up and drinking an orange beverage with a slight smell of alcohol 

“Actually yes. I don’t really want to keep any of it because that book was more of a fun project, but Spock’s clan has these financial arbitrators, the same ones who keep all of my personal trusts safe, and they have helped me set up a foundation for the education of Orion women and a scholarship fund to support Orion’s who would like to serve in Starfleet.”

“Well look at you go. That’s really great.” McCoy said slapping his shoulder. “So anyway why did you wanna meet me here?”

Jim put his fork down so that he could fully face McCoy. “Ah, yes. Well Bones, I did it. I’m officially a captain and they gave me the Enterprise. Do you want to be my sawbones?”

“Okay,” McCoy said taking another sip of his drink.

“Now before you say no, let me start out by saying-- wait, did you say yes?”

McCoy sighed. “I’m already used to the ship, I might as well just continue to serve aboard.”

“So will you do it?! Be the ship’s doctor?” 

“Sure can’t let you and pointy here have all the fun. Besides if I leave you two alone you’ll either end up dead or gain 30 pounds."

“30 pounds?” Jim scrunched up his face offended.

“Pointy?” Spock asked looking up from his food.

“I am willing to overlook that insane 30 pounds comment because you just made me that happiest Captain. You know you’ll have to call me, captain right?” he smirked. “You’ll have to do everything I say.”

“Yeah well, you’ll have to do everything I say since I am the ship's CMO. I can override you.”

Jim quickly moved past that statement. 

“Doesn’t matter! You’ll be there, and Spock will be there, and we will all get to explore space together! It’ll be fun I promise, It’s the final frontier.”

“Sounds terrific,” McCoy muttered as he finished off his drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for joining me with my fanfic. I apologize for the late chapter but school already has me burnt out. This was an experiment of sorts so that I could learn how to pair my fics with my art and so taking what I've learned I have many new stories in the works with even more art.


End file.
